Cold, stiff, and grim.

Before Jeongguk even opens his eyes, he feels things - coldness and discomfort that made him suddenly miss the eternal sunshine of San Junipero.

Reluctantly, his eyes flutter open, squinting despite the dim light of the living room. His body feels heavy, every joint stiff and responding to his thoughts clumsily. The familiar face next to him eases the discomfort a little. There's a dull echo of joy on his mind, as he sees a relieved smile blooming on Taehyung's face.

"You're here, I can't believe... it worked, Gukkie, it worked!" Tears are welling up in his eyes, and Jeongguk wants to reach up and thumb them away, but his arm is as heavy as lead. He musters a half grin instead and rasps out a few words, "don't cry. Please."

He's tired, everything takes so much effort. And all the dark and glaring colors, the sharp lines and disarray.
Jeongguk averts his eyes, willing for it to all go away. But he feels a tug, insistent, reminding him that he's needed, so very much. He meets Taehyung's concerned gaze, "feeling ok? Can you sit up?"

He wants to say no, wants to revert back to... to what, he's not sure. There's nothing to go back to anymore, San Junipero, father, everything is gone, just fragments of memories that are unreliable and reside only on his mind.

"I'm... ok." He pushes himself up, each movement taking all of his strength. There's a dread within him, an overwhelming hollowness, but Jeongguk pushes out a smile and focuses on Taehyung instead.
Taehyung.

He looks different in this world, all flesh and bones and, human. Crinkles by his eyes, moles and lines that weren't so prominent before, and all the fidgets, the shakes, the millions of tiny little gestures. Vibrating with energy, so very alive.

It's overwhelming, and Jeongguk can't help but fall in love with all of it once more. Here, in the dark and cramped bedroom, trapped in the artificial body like some modern frankenstein yearning for a heart, the beauty of life radiating off Taehyung still takes his breath away.

A tear drops as Taehyung blinks hard and purses his trembling lips, and Jeongguk concentrates all his effort and reaches towards his face, "no more tears..."

The fingers brush by clumsily, swiping the tear away. There's barely any sensation on the skin, the realization chilling Jeongguk to the core. But he wouldn't have it any other way, it's worth it.

A second chance, a new life. With him.

"Taehyung..." like a mantra, a magical spell that calms his heart, he whispers.

"Yes, I'm here. And so are you, finally." Taehyung rasps, arms embracing him carefully. "Sorry this is all we could afford, even Chims lent me all of his savings... And it was through the black market, I mean, you don't even have an identification in the world... So much to do still, need to make sure you are safe..."

Jeongguk smiles, "thanks."

Taehyung nudges into his forehead, "but the stars, I'm so happy you are here. There's so much I want to show you - the world, all the wonderful things... well some are not so wonderful - " he makes a silly face, "- but it's all better now that you're here."

Jeongguk curbs the sense of dread bubbling inside, and asks, "does it look different?"

"Hmm? Oh the world?" Taehyung scrunches his nose and replies cautiously, "yeah. It's no San Junipero, that's for sure. I mean, there are pretty virtual worlds and planets exclusively for the riches, but the district I live in is, well, cramped and a little sub par." He smiles nervously, eyes scanning and assessing Jeongguk's response.

Jeongguk pauses, pushing through the haze on his mind, and speaks quietly, "show me?"

Taehyung meets his eyes and gulps, "you think - you think you're ready? It's - man, I wish I could show you something better, maybe we start with some holograms of nicer looking places -"

Jeongguk interrupts him and glances at the small window by the wall, voice soft but clear, "it's ok, show me. Please."

A sigh. Taehyung nods, and extends out his hand towards him, "hold on, stand up slowly, see how it feels."
Jeongguk grabs his hand and focuses. Every motion feels foreign, stiff, the limbs taking forever to respond. But he tries, pushing himself off the bed clumsily and standing up, determined to not be thrown off balance.

He panics when Taehyung hisses in pain, "your hand, Guk, loosen your grip."

"Sorry." Jeongguk retracts as guilt washes over him, "I'm..."

"It's ok." Taehyung winces but tries to smile, "it's ok, I read things take time to adjust. I'll just hold you by your arm, ok? The window's not that far."

His feet feel like lead, every step taking all his strength, and all his attention to not stumble. His mind is in a cloud, operating from far away, only a small part of his thoughts echoing through this hollow shell. It all feels like a dream.

If San Junipero is a dream of a paradise, then this, is a nightmare. A cold and grim nightmare.

The thought creeps onto his mind, and Jeongguk forces it to the side.

They are by the window now, and Taehyung whispers, "ready?"
Jeongguk nods, and watches as Taehyung presses the small button next to them. The shaded glass turns translucent at the touch, and Jeongguk blinks hard, trying to take it all in, the world suddenly sprawling out in front of him, in all its overwhelming details.

There are lights everywhere, flashing, blinking, clamouring for his attention, assaulting his nerves. Every corner of every surface is filled with buildings, shops, signs, vehicles, millions upon millions of objects. Wisps of grey mist shroud his vision, reminding him that they are impossibly high up from the ground. Jeongguk looks down, gazing into the maze like abyss extending out below them, an endless void with lights and shadows zooming by.

Suddenly he's hit by dizziness and stumbles.

His little house by the sea, with the eternal full moon and blooming roses, nobody else on the sand except the two of them and the crashing waves. It's all gone, forever.

"Hey, are you ok?"

Jeongguk turns and meets Taehyung's concerned gaze. The words hang by his lips, threatening to come out, together with the fear and despair.

It's a mistake, I can't do this, I don't belong here.

But he spots the glint of tenderness in Taehyung's eyes, and something within him stirs. In a world where everything feels foreign and wrong, Taehyung's gaze brings a familiar warmth, the same warmth he's felt every time their eyes met in San Junipero.

"I'm good." Jeongguk replies, trying hard to keep his voice casual.

"Ok." Taehyung exhales out of relief, the flashing lights reflecting on his profile, casting his features in neon colors and shifting shadows, "I'm here, always will be. We'll get through this together."

Jeongguk nods, and feels his mind calming down at the words. Slowly, he leans into Taehyung, and watches as the world whooshes by in front of them in hyper speed.

-

Cold, dark and silent.

Jeongguk flicks off the vibrating controller on his wrist, and wakes up in the tiny bedroom.

Getting up and dressing slowly, he sees Taehyung'a silhouette in bed, clutching onto a pillow and curled up in peaceful slumber. A smile spreads by his lips.

He walks to the living room, taking note of the darkness outside, howling wind swirling up the falling snowflakes.

Jeongguk pauses by the computer monitor on the desk. With a flick of the wrist, he turns it on, fingering fluttering, scrolling through the list of orders that need to be delivered this morning.

They've lived in this colony for almost two years now. The town is far north, perpetually covered in snow, a desolate forgotten spot at the edge of civilization. But the folks are friendly to the Undead, people like him, who have been given a second chance at life through artificial bodies. There are no warm beaches and blooming roses here, but the frozen tundra is inexplicably soothing to Jeongguk, in its rustic and remote way.

Taehyung found a coding job remotely, and Jeongguk does deliveries, sells paintings, and works whatever odds and ends jobs he could find.

Whatever it takes to keep this home afloat.

And what a home, he glances around, and takes in everything - the lush plants Taehyung cares for, the rows of paintings that he's created over the years, pieces of worn out furniture they've found and restored. It's cozy and lived in, every corner filled with shared memories.

Right above the computer monitor, he sees the small painting hanging on the wall. It's simple, the brush strokes a bit shaky and blurry for his liking - a figure facing away, walking on a sandy beach. It was the first painting he finished in the real world after leaving San Junipero, and Taehyung whined about how it didn't count as a portrait, "this face, you missed this handsome face of perfection, Gukkie."

Jeongguk chuckles, there were many more portraits after that one, some Taehyung approved.

There's so much love in this home, gentle but palpable, filling his heart with contentment. And his gaze lowers and falls onto his own hand - controlled, ageless, with strength at his command. It took a long time to get use to this body, this artificial thing that once felt like a prison, but now is his best ally. Impervious to the elements, and with amazing capabilities for physical challenges, it's a great tool for those who learn to wield it properly. As the initial shocks subsided, when he was finally able to look at himself in the mirror without flinching, Jeongguk felt grateful.

He can make a living, and protect the one he loves. It's really all he needs.

Jeongguk rarely thinks back to San Junipero nowadays. It seems hollow - the past, like a faded dream that pales in comparison to his love in the real world. Taehyung will be up soon. If he hurries, maybe he could finish all the deliveries and be back for breakfast together.

Jeongguk gathers his things and readies for the day. As he steps towards the front door, a tune flashes across his mind, a song from a bygone era, remembered only by Taehyung and him. He starts to hum softly, letting the words slide off his tongue,

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth

Jeongguk opens the door, and feels his senses swept up by the howling snowstorm raging outside. Yet the serenity stays within his heart, lingering, enveloping, bringing a smile to the corner of his lips.

They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth

Heaven, is where we are together.

FIN