"Our unit's ruined," Mel sighed, leaning back in her chair and spinning a pencil between her fingers as Kawarau glanced at her. "I mean, with Seiun gone, we basically lose half our experience. Haruki's been a complete ass too, but..."

The blonde cocked his head at her. " Haruki has seemed pretty tense lately, now that you think of it. He's been especially hard on the student council."

"Right? He's that way with Incarnation too." She ran a hand through her pink hair. "Man, I thought they were cool people, but I don't get why all of them are suddenly acting this way."

Kawarau sighed, and he silently thanked the gods for not letting Zankyou face the same problems as his friend's uint. "I mean, maybe he's stressed or something. Being the student council president and leading a unit at the same time must be tiring."

"Yeah, but he could at least, like, tell us if he's stressed?" Mel frowned down at her desk. "He and Seiun seem to like the whole 'ice cool princess' persona thing, but it's really troublesome if they never tell us anything about themselves."

The boy made a noise of assent. "I get what you mean. The two of them are really cool, but at the same time, I've never spoken to them until recently."

"Of course, someone like myself would never do paperwork for him or something, but at the very least, I'd be willing to sit down and hear him out. Well, as long as it doesn't get too awkward." She paused for a moment before speaking again. "Evi would totally help, though."

"Well, I hope things get better for you soon," Kawarau laughed. "I'll be going with Carin to see your live—we bought tickets and all—so show us your best performance, alright?"

Mel grinned. "Of course."

—

The live was tomorrow.

Of course, it didn't even concern her now. She wasn't a part of her unit, so whatever they were up against wasn't her problem.

...that was what she tried to tell herself, but it just wasn't working.

Snap out of it. She'd gone outside to try to sneak some food to the piano room, and she hadn't paid much attention to her surroundings when she'd gone downstairs, but it was then that she realised that she was just outside Incarnation's practice room.

If Haruki saw her, perhaps he'd get a little worked up, but that was fine. She couldn't let Evi see her, however—it would just distract her and she would just try to talk to her. Incarnation couldn't afford any more slip-ups before their big day.

Tiptoeing, she peered into the room, curious to see how the rest of them were performing. It was hard to watch them from the small glass panel in the door, but it was good enough.

It was strange. She'd never saw Evi perform before—she didn't have a unit in first year, and it was hard to see from an audience's perspective when they were in the same unit.

Yet, she felt as if the girl's dancing was usually far brighter.

Was it her fault they were all like this? Incarnation had drawn in so much attention, be it on social media or within the school, but as she watched the three of them dance to the beat of a song she had memorised, she couldn't feel anything.

If their audience watched this kind of performance, they wouldn't want to come a second time. Perhaps, if they had the technical skill of Stellarium, they'd be able to cover up the dullness of their singing and dancing, but even their movements felt stiff and unpolished.

Evi turned in her direction at that moment, and she stifled a startled breath, taking a few steps back so that she was no longer in the girl's line of vision.

That was close. She crept back up after a minute or so had passed, relieved that none of them had noticed her, and she decided to flee back to the piano room before any other incidents like that could have the chance to happen.

It was getting late. She had no idea what Haruki was doing, making Mel and Evi practice so long the day before their live, but it wasn't her place to argue.

"Oh, so you haven't left yet. Good."

Jhorna's voice greeted her as she opened the door to the piano room, and she froze up, shutting the door again on instinct.

"Ah, sorry—I forgot to tell you we were dropping by." Her classmate waved at her when she opened it again. "It's pretty late. Are you staying overnight here or something?"

"Yeah, probably. Told my parents I had something on." Seiun waved her hand dismissively, setting the container of food on the floor and peeling the lid off before starting to eat. "Why are you two even here in the first place?"

The black-haired girl just shrugged, reaching out to steal a piece of chicken and ignoring the glare her taller classmate shot her afterwards. "We were worried, I guess. The live is tomorrow, right? Are you sure you don't want to go?"

When her gaze darkened, Jhorna raised her hands in defence. "My bad. I should have known."

"It's understandable that you don't wanna go. It'd be awkward, right?" Carin raised a finger to his chin, contemplating the situation with a sort of innocent seriousness that somehow seemed to lighten the mood.

Seiun nodded, and he hummed in assent. "What about going to Zankyou's concert instead? I mean, you've seemed stressed lately, so maybe it'd be a good way to release some steam? Maybe you'll feel better once you take your mind off things. It's on the same day, though..."

"Hey, that's surprisingly thoughtful of you. You hardly get this pumped up about something," Jhorna noted jokingly.

"Eh? That's not very nice..." Carin trailed off, but he didn't seem offended by his classmate's offhanded remark. "But it's true, though. If Seiun's pissed off because of Incarnation, then she should try to distract herself, right?"

"You're right, I guess. Thanks." Seiun didn't smile at that, but it was better than the stone-cold glare she'd been giving them over the past few days. "Really, thanks. I'll try to make it, then."

The black-haired girl just shrugged, offering her a smile and a can of melon soda to her classmate. "Here. I didn't know what you liked, so I just got something at random. Seriously, though, we're your friends, so don't hold back if you need anything from us."

There was nothing but silence for a full minute, and Carin blinked, waving a hand in front of his club member's face. "Hello? Earth to Seiun? Are you still there?"

The girl lowered her spoon, her eyes trained on her bento, and her expression shifted into something more troubled than angry.

"Why are you..." Seiun trailed off, biting her lip as she spoke, and her gaze drifted to the piano at the corner of the room. "Even though I've done nothing but say harsh things, why do you still continue to do say sort of things?"

Jhorna blinked, surprised at her friend's question, and she shot a glance at Carin, who seemed to feel the same way.

"Seiun—" she started, but the girl continued to speak before she could do so.

"I'm tired, you know. I don't get anything." Seiun started to speak faster and faster, shaking her head and gesturing as she talked. "You two are being so nice to me and yet, I'm doing nothing in return...so why are you still here? Even though it's been a year, why won't you just leave me alone already?"

The girl's words were sharp, and she was talking with far more energy than the two of them managed to get our of her during club meetings. She watched as Jhorna stared at her in shock, and Carin's normally passive expression faded as he remained silence.

God, how much worse could she make things?

"Look. If you don't have anything to say, why are you still here?" At this point, all she was doing was hurting them even more, and it reminded her of her middle school days, but she was too caught up in the heat of the moment to think of that. "Why are you still bothering?"

Her stomach curled as Jhorna remained silent. She would much rather them just get up and leave—it would still be better than the stifling atmosphere that hung over them.

"...I'm sorry." She rubbed her temples, the bento on the floor forgotten. "I didn't mean to snap at you, not when you came all the way here. It's not like myself."

Jhorna gave her a weak smile. "No, it's fine. I'm glad, actually."

Seiun squinted at her in confusion. "Huh? Why would you be glad over that?"

Carin shrugged, calmer than he'd been when Seiun had first snapped at them. "I mean, this is the first time you've really told us about yourself."

"Yeah, what he said." Jhorna leaned forward to take a piece of Seiun's bento. "Even though we were friends in first year, it felt like we never knew anything about you. You didn't even say anything when Stellarium lost in the semifinals of the Dream Festival, or when it was disbanded."

Her classmate raised an eyebrow at what she said. "Was I supposed to?"

"Well, yes! Or, like, if you wanted to." Jhorna grinned. "We hardly knew you, after all. So I'm really happy that after all this time, you're telling us how you feel about something. We're not going to leave now, if that's what you're worried about."

Seiun narrowed her eyes. "I didn't say I was worried about—"

Carin clapped his hands to interrupt them. "You can tell us about what's going on with Incarnation, and how you feel about the whole thing. You can tell us as much as we want to, and we won't go anywhere."

"And after that," Jhorna said, "you should go speak to your unitmates too."

"Why should I—"

"Because they're your unitmates. They're supposed to be the closest people to you in this school." The shorter girl picked another piece of meat from the discarded container. "It doesn't matter how afraid you feel—just be as honest with them as you can. I think they'll be more relieved than anything."

Seiun took a deep breath.

—

Haruki sighed, taking a moment to stretch before returning to staring at the papers in front of him.

He'd already finished his paperwork, which had surprised the rest of the Student Council, but he'd decided to stay behind to review the choreography and line allocation plans one last time. His parents had believed the halfhearted lie he'd thrown at them and allowed him to stay over at school.

They couldn't afford to screw up. He had to make sure everything went well on the day itself.

Next to him, his phone lit up with a notification, and that made him snap out of his daze. He glanced over the message for a second before switching the device off—it was just Kawarau asking if there was anything he needed help with.

Aerien had wished him good luck before going home as well, and though he knew the boy had nothing but good intentions, he was too irritated by everything to thank him.

The words and diagrams swam before his eyes. He wanted to go to sleep—it was almost midnight and he had to rest before their live—but he kept coming back to reread the notes and moves the three of them had performed countless times before.

It was futile making any last changes so late, but he didn't know what else to do.

What had Seiun called him again? A dirty coward? Someone who didn't know how to read the atmosphere?

Now that he thought about it, she wasn't wrong.

He'd started this whole mess. Seiun hadn't liked him much to begin with, and he'd been too preoccupied with the live to realise what he said was hurtful. The guilt from their argument remained an indigestible lump at the bottom of his stomach.

Still, he couldn't run away from this like he did the last time. He'd already ruined his old unit's dreams and trampled on them with his feet. He wasn't about to do that to Evi and Mel as well. The two of them wouldn't be able to take it.

The announcement they had posted to social media—the one about Seiun not being able to come to the live and how more details would be confirmed later on—was already getting backlash, and he wasn't sure how to respond to the angry comments.

After all, a large portion of their fans used to be Stellarium fans as well. If they found out that the Stellarium member in the group wasn't going to be there, they were bound to be mad.

Everything was going wrong in the worst way possible, but there were still some people willing to attend their live. He just had to make sure they performed well enough to get the attention of the people of everyone who was attending the festival.

...it sounded easy when it was all in his head, but there were so many other groups performing. Incarnation didn't have an advantage over any of them.

I should get some sleep before it gets too late.

He shifted so that his head rested on the table, and he almost laughed—even though he told himself that, would he even follow through with it?

Haruki reached for the papers once again.

—

It was dark out.

The piano room didn't have any windows, so the only light she had was the faint moonlight streaming through the door. It wasn't as if anyone would find her there, so she'd decided to keep it open.

Carin and Jhorna had left when they realised it was getting late, and she'd finished up the rest of her dinner in silence. It was a good break from everything had happened so far—it gave her time to look back on the conversation the three of them had had.

She'd lashed out at Incarnation, saying words that she knew would hurt them—she'd made everything all about herself, and she didn't take anyone else into consideration. She kept them at an arm's distance and snapped at them so she wouldn't get hurt.

She should have gone back and apologised. She knew she should have, but someone like her didn't even have the right to do so.

She'd called Haruki a coward when she was the same thing. She didn't have the courage to go up to them and tell them she was sorry, not when they were all busy and stressed out over their debut live—what if she just made things worse?

Evi had dreamed of doing something like this for ages. It was all she could do not to get in the way.

At the core, the three of them were really idols at heart. They yearned and strived to become someone who could spread love to others, and she couldn't say she didn't find it the least bit inspiring.

If nothing else, she wanted their dream to come true.

Biting her lip, she took a glance at her phone. The words 1.30 AM blinked at her through the screen, and she paused for a second before heading over to the piano.

There was bound to be nobody at school. Even if there was someone, the room was on the second floor, and she was pretty sure no one would be loitering in a classroom or practice room at this time.

She slid the cover back, pressing a note in a moment of absent-mindedness and startling herself by how loud it seemed. Then again, she'd never played when it was this silent and this late at night, and the sound seemed to fill the whole room.

Surprisingly, the first song went well enough. She messed up on a few notes—that was what happened when she tried to ad-lib an accompaniment on piano—but she managed to play it, and that was far better than all her previous attempts the past week.

If she couldn't even do something so simple, then what was all her experience in the instrument for?

Her fingers pressed harder against the ivory keys. Even past singing, piano was something she couldn't live without. It was the one thing that had given her everything; it was the one thing that had taken everything away from her.

It was more of a curse than a blessing that her parents had jobs in the music industry. While she was able to continue playing, it quickly turned into more of a fixation—they told her that she could become a pianist if she tried, and it soon became the only thing she would pay attention to.

She started playing a little faster, an arpeggio ringing into the air, and before she knew it, she was singing along with the melody.

Evi always had a tendency to create intense songs.

Everything was the same as how it had been in middle school. She was still distant from everyone else, and acted like they weren't worth her time—she was always focusing on her goals, and because of that, she'd lost something even more important.

The one friend she'd had then eventually gave up like all the others before. It had been a loud argument, one with lots of shouting and accusations, and one day the two of them had simply stopped talking.

It was because she didn't care enough. Because she didn't care about what she said and about how much she said. Because she never bothered how to learn to be a good friend.

In a moment of rebellious spirit, she chose to apply to Tengoku. She wanted as little to do with piano as possible at that time, and though her parents were shocked, they couldn't do anything to change her mind. She'd somehow gotten in—they said her voice was good, but she hadn't really paid much attention to the details.

Playing the piano and being an idol wasn't all that different. They were both a form of art for people to enjoy, but in her first year, she realised what pulled them apart was the fact that idols sparkled far more.

If she could become an idol, she could finally apologise to her friend, but as of now, she was far away from her goal. As of now, she couldn't face her like this—no matter what she did, it was futile—she couldn't seem to become a better person at all.

...perhaps that was why she thrived in a unit like Stellarium.

She let out a breath as she played the last few notes of the first song and repositioned her hands to move on to the second, but—

She froze up again.

They weren't her songs any longer. Why was she still playing them?

For the first time, she wanted to be caught up in Evi's pace again. She wanted to know just what type of dream the girl had—she wanted to have a proper dream of her own too, one that she could chase and try to reach.

It was too bad she'd missed that chance.

--

decided to finish up this longass chapter before i go on hiatus HAHA

the incca arc will end next chapter or next next chapter depending on how long-winded i am! also yeet

poll rankings:

1. Haruki/Carin (5 votes)

2. Jhorna/Sou (4 votes)

3. Mel/Seiun/Kawarau (3 votes)

lincc to this chapters poll is in the inline comment here! there are actually two polls bc i won't be posting for a while ahah (see below for details)

1 - (usual poll)

2- (special unit poll (like besides their normal units who would you like to see in a unit together? i'm just curious LOL))