Issue #8: Boomerang Bang

The next day I woke up to someone in a Brooklyn accent shouting "I'M BACK BOYS! DID YA MISS ME!?" Definitely Harley Quinn.

"Miraculously, Boomerang's alive too." Deadshot said.

"Oi! Don't make it sound so surprising! I'm as resilient as a-"

"Cockroach." Deadshot finished Boomerang's sentence.

"I was gunna say gecko. Boomer really helped me out with my car insurance one time and saved me soooooo much money!" Harley added.

"No I didn't."

"You didn't? Oooooooh, I see. I mixed up 'as resilient' with 'looks like'. You look like a gross lizard." Harley said.

"Oi! Shut your trap Harls!"

"GET BACK IN YOUR CELLS, CONVICTS!" A guard shouted.

"Whaaaaaaaaaat? Why is everyone screaming?" I heard Cleo ask from the other side of the wall.

"Harley Quinn and Captain Boomerang are back." I quickly explained.

"Great, there goes me getting a good night sleep for a while." She lazily said. She slurred half of it. After that she went quiet.

"Cleo? You still there?" I asked her. Nothing. She's already asleep again. Then someone banged on my glass. I looked over and saw Boomerang with his face pressed against my cell wall. His big nose contorted in a weird way to let his cheeks lay on the glass as well.

"Ey, newbie! Wot are you doing in me cell!? And wot did you do with all my stuff!?"

"I'm not in your cell. Your cell is next door." I said pointing to the opposite wall from where my bed was. He looked back over, leaving some drool on the glass he was up against.

"Oh. It appears it is. My mistake, mate." He said before beginning to walk over to his cell. He stopped and looked back over at me. "Well, come on over then! Come talk wit Uncle Digger!" Well I guess this is happening. I thought to myself as I got up and walked over to the other side of the cell and waited for Boomerang to get situated. "So, Spooks, What's your whole dealy again? Wot are you in for?"

"Last Halloween I went a little crazy and killed Scarecrow and a few of my former friends."

"Scarecrow? That bloke that wore the straw Harley was always yapping about from Gotham? Got fired from Arkham and then somehow landed a job at some two bit college before going haywire?"

"...I went to that two bit college."

"Oh, no shit, mate! What a coinky dink! And that guy was your first kill? That's hardcore, mate. You're a real killah ain't ya?"

"I'd say so. Apparently I'm the first person to kill someone within a week of being here."

"Ooooooh, might not wanna do that too much here, mate. No one tells ya but we operate on a three strike system with those. Kill three people and let Waller find out and she'll have cutie Katana cut ya inta pieces. When yer gunna off a bloke, ya gotta trick him into breakin' the rules on a mission. Or just lure 'im away and make it look like an tiger or some sheep shagger did it. Doin' it in Belle Reeve gets messy."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience."

"'Course! Buncha drongos think they can belittle me and walk all over Ole Digger cuz they've got no respect for Boomerangs. Biggest mistake you can make is calling them toys. Then, heh heh, it's your head on me wall back home."

"Okay, Boomerang, what's your angle? For from what I've heard, you're being extremely nice for being a notorious scumbag."

"Ey, mate, words hurt but I'll give you the pass this time since my reputation does happen to proceed me." He said. "I happen to be a very like able bloke, but piss me off and it's your ass on the barbie." Well I mean I can relate to that I guess. "There's walking dead among us and they don't know it yet. Wankers who disguised themselves as me mates, spreading lies about me, ruining my reputation," Wait, this is hitting too close to home, I'm relating too much to Captain Boomerang. "and getting me stuck in this cesspool. So I'm just bein' friendly is all. Ya get one chance to make good on me bein' friendly or you'll end up like ole Slipknot."

"The band?"

"No, the bloke who could climb anything! He ain't climbing outta that whole in the ground I left him in in the Amazon after I tricked him into getting Waller to blow his head off. So whaddya say, pals?"

"I guess having pals in a place like this is always good. Sure." I said. As much as I still doubt how effective Boomerangs really are, I can't deny Boomerang must know something to have stayed alive in this shithole for this long. I just hope he realizes if he double crosses me his death will be long and painful.

. . .

Lunch was... strange, to say the least. On one end of the table, Boomerang sat in a staring contest with Abner as they both ate and Cleo and I watched. Cleo looked half asleep watching them.

"Sooooo, you guys are friends?" Cleo asked Boomerang pointing to me.

"Stop saying friends, you know I don't like that word." I said.

"So wot, we aren't actually mates, then?" Boomerang asked.

"Don't take it personally, Digger. He just doesn't like the label friends. I think he... *yawn* he's your friend by the way he isn't sneakily insulting you to your face right now and not threatening to kill you." Cleo answered.

"How do you know I do that to people I don't like?" I asked her.

"You're not exactly the hardest to read, especially after spending the better part of every day for half a week with you." Cleo said.

"Heya, Boomer!" I looked behind me and saw Harley walking over to us with a tray in hand. She definitely took the most liberties when customizing her uniform. She ripped up most of her uniform leaving a little more than enough to cover her boobs for the top and what were essentially ripped up daisy dukes for the pants. And while we all wore orange crocs, Harley went barefoot. "Dotty, Willard Jr., Handsome." She greeted the rest of us. "Do you guys mind if I sit here or what?"

"I mean the more the merrier, I suppose." I said. "Well I mean that's a lie. Don't go inviting anyone else that invitations only for you."

"Don't worry. Floyd ain't much of a people person and they don't let Croc eat with the rest of us anymore."

"Why not?"

"Why don't they let the man eating crocodile man eat with the rest of us? Why don't they let Kangaroos fight in kickboxing tournaments?" Boomerang asked sarcastically.

"Laws against the abuse of animals." Abner stated. Boomerang gave him a death glare. Harley sat down on the left side of me while Cleo was on my right.

"So, how's life in the clink treatin' ya? Anyone giving you a hard time?" She asked me.

"One guy. He's dead now." I said.

"Wait, what? No way, you beat my record!"

"He did, Harls." Boomerang chimed in.

"What record?"

"It took me 10 days, 6 hours, 12 minutes, and 35 seconds before I killed this one loser who was messin' with me! I had the record for the shortest time here without offin' someone before you showed up. You must be real crazy, huh?"

"I wouldn't call him crazy." Cleo spoke up. She seemed insulted for me.

"I like crazy~." Harley said grinning. She then blinked a couple of times and then came back to reality. "Sorry, force of habit. That's the old Harley." She said looking away embarrassed.

"I don't mind." I said. "I mean I did go to Arkham for a bit and I don't think I could've done what I did without being a little out there." I added. I noticed Harley had this goofy look on her face. She was staring right at me with a stupid smile. "What?"

"Anyone ever tell ya you've got perty eyes?" She asked.

"As a matter of fact," Cleo began before yawning dramatically. "I did. You should... get your own... material..."  She trailed off before leaning on me and falling asleep. Instinctively I wrapped an arm around her and she shifted around on the seat so that her feet were on the seat with her and her back was towards me but she pulled herself into my chest.

"Less than a bloody week and he's already got a bird wrapped around his finger." I heard Boomerang whisper under his breath. I looked back at Harley and she had an unamused expression on her face.

"Really? That's the best ya got? Pretending to fall asleep for attention?" She said.

"I don't think she's-" I was interrupted by Cleo quietly snoring. "...pretending."

"How's lunch, (L,N)?" I heard a voice I hadn't heard in a while ask behind me. I looked back at Waller standing behind me with Harcourt and Crawley.

"Honestly? I think we could improve the menu a little." I responded.

"Well, that's too bad. I hope that it was a serviceable possible last meal."

"I-... I beg your pardon?"

"You'll get the pardon after your fair share of missions, convict. But it's time to go on your first.

It's time to join The Suicide Squad."

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