Ava had gotten lost in the smoke, watching it hang in the air for a second before fleeing through the small crack in the window. It had distracted her, every pull of the cigarette was an unconscious movement meant only to provide more smoke for her visual pleasure. It had meant that she finished her havcera too quickly for her liking. Even though she felt her head in the clouds and the calming effects settle her body, she went for another. She lit it and no one was there to stop her. She was alone, as she had been since arriving home.

Her isolation was not self-imposed, just happenstance. Things were moving and people were busy but as a result of having to comply so rigorously with her father's requests and expectations, she needed people to talk to. But she had fewer and fewer people around to have those conversations with so drowning herself in havcera was a reasonable outlet for her. With no one else to funnel her thoughts to, she was forced to sit with it herself.

Not even Viv was around for a bit of entertainment. She was around, in Ava's life, but she didn't hang near her like before. There was nothing special in it for Viv anymore, Ava supposed it made sense. Viv never claimed to like her as anything more than a fling, and that was clearly shown in her actions of late. Simple companionship had been off the table. Ava was fine with that, Viv was not someone she wanted around in that capacity anyway. She had seen firsthand what Vivexa did to people she called friends.

Cameron had also been scarce in presence. His stress was mounting and made him slightly irritable. It was stress he had taken on voluntarily though, he had decided to become friendly with Wilma, who had recently moved into an abandoned room on the floor below her. Wilma, the mother of Killian's child, had come to them almost immediately after she had been introduced to Ava. It happened so fast and Ava had not yet adjusted to it even though it had been a cycle since her arrival.

Aside from his new friend, Cameron was being pulled in all directions. They needed to be seen together which meant a lot of time in public and around the estate. Her father had decided he would also have a greater role to play than originally planned for Cameron and he was involved in many of her father's social meetings. And on top of all of that, he had insisted on taking up art and painting, so he was attending lessons. He was rarely home and when he was, she wanted to be away from him.

All of it drove her mad.

She tried to pull herself back to the moment on the lightbringer after their union, where they promised each other to be kind and open and communicative. Yet, being around him made thoughts of that moment fly out the window. In his presence, she was not the nicest. So he knew to stay away unless he had to be around. None of her moods were his fault she just didn't understand how it all didn't swallow him alive. How Aubermasse seemed to not affect him. He was stressed but beyond that, perfectly content.

Things were stable and bearable, but just the act of being in the estate made her skin crawl. It felt like she was walking familiar halls when she would go down to meet with her father and it didn't sit well with her. The more it felt normal and like home the more she hated it. She would have loved to tell Cameron that is how she felt but Ava had no luck expressing her frustrations.

Most of the time they were together, he tried to speak to her about the baby. To not snap, she would disengage. It was always one-sided. She didn't care about the preparations, she had enough to deal with. They had her wearing a fucking bump. Small, now, but just enough to get the rumors swirling. She couldn't be seen doing much of anything. Pregnant noblewomen were to be treated with the utmost delicacy. That was enough preparation, she didn't feel she needed to do anything else.

She hadn't seen Wilma outside of formal introductions the night she was first taken into town to see her. Since she had moved in, Ava had made herself a ghost. Oceane had been in her ear, telling her her behavior was not acceptable. She could not simply ignore the things she didn't want to do, not when it affected other people. Oceane reminded her that Cameron would help. She would have nannies. She didn't need to do much except parade the child as her own. And even then, once they grew older she wouldn't need to be so involved.

But what no one seemed to understand was that the fucking kid would consider her their mother. What would she do? How long would the ruse have to last? Would they be old enough to remember by the time it was all over? How would she justify that? If she was uninvolved, they would think she was an absent mother who didn't care and if she was involved, what would happen once the revolution ended? She had no intentions of raising a child.

Everyone thought her to be selfish, which she was. There was no denying there were thousands of selfish reasons that this was an inconvenience. But under it all, it was a tragedy. No matter who the baby was or where they were taken from, she would be essentially ruining an innocent life for a facade. Neither option was ideal and she had yet to choose which she would actually pursue.

Even with Oceane pestering her, she couldn't budge on going to visit Wilma. It would all become too real. That, and Oceane wasn't around enough to annoy her into doing it. She was doing her part, keeping busy, keeping her head down. When they did get a chance to spend time with each other, it was hard to speak about anything too serious. Unless it was pressing information, they strayed away from work as a topic. That included the work of faking a pregnancy.

As the smoke continued to billow around her, the new cigarette freshly lit, Arnelo opened her door.

"My Lady," he called her attention and opened the door fully, "Lord Vaith is here to see you."

Ava nodded to allow him entry. Arnelo stepped aside and her father walked in. She hadn't hidden her use of drugs and she wouldn't be able to. She had been smoking all aftermorning and it was permeating through the halls, just like her brothers used to do. He didn't seem too phased, but that was typical. He looked around the room, she had been constantly changing it and replacing Ulises' old decor piece by piece.

"Would you like a stroll through the library before trial?" he asked.

Ava shook her head, "No. Why?"

"We have not seen each other all sun, I figured we could have a moment together before you have to go off to trial," he offered.

"Then you come here," Ava countered and made space on her nook, patting the spot in front of her.

She didn't think he would accept. It was Lord Vaith, one of the most powerful men in the world. Yet, he stepped forward once and then another time, and soon enough he was pulling himself onto the slightly elevated windowsill. She watched him carefully, trying to determine his motivations but she was coming up short. They had spent a lot of their time together and not seeing each other for full suns at a time was becoming a thing of the past. But for him to seek her out for simply a conversation was also an oddity.

Did he enjoy her now? Was her company no longer grating on him? Or did he want something? She didn't inquire though, she allowed him to sit next to her in silence as she smoked.

He turned his head to peer out of the window, "I do not think I have been up here in lengths."

"You never paid Ulises any visits?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she exhaled.

He shook his head, "No, Ulises and I did not talk much outside of working matters and he was always off on his ocean galavants."

"You liked Grant way more," she laughed and shook her head, "Did he know that?"

"I am not sure. They were close but I do not think Grant ever told him."

"But you told Grant?"

"I did not need to. He saw how I treated his brother and how I treated him," he explained, "I could not help it. I loved Ulises but not the love a father should have for his firstborn. I suppose that is not unusual for Vaiths but I thought I would rise above that."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked.

"Ignore my musings," he avoided her question.

Out of courtesy– and mostly out of habit – she held her cigarette out for her father. He looked down at it for a moment then reached out to grab it. She couldn't keep her shock at bay. In her haze of havcera, she hadn't considered it a possibility that he would accept. She was torn, she wanted more than anything to witness her father smoking but also she wanted it to herself. Her trial was in a few hours and she needed all the strength she could muster.

He brought it to his mouth and efficiently took a hit. He didn't inhale too much smoke and on his exhale, he avoided a cough, something Ava rarely managed to do. She didn't know why she expected him to struggle. In her mind, this was the first time he had done anything of the sort.

"Do you do this often?" he passed it back.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," she laughed.

"I do not. Why?"

"You had no problem taking that hit."

"It is havcera, Avery. It is not exactly the harshest herb to smoke," he laughed as well.

"Are you admitting to having partaken in dragon's breath then?" Ava asked. It was far harsher to smoke and heavier on the lungs than ravci or havcera or many other plants she frequented.

"I was not always meant to be heir, as a reminder," he shook his head, "I embarked in a fair share of second son mischief."

"Practically two classifications ago," Ava teased.

He let the poke about his age go and handed back the havcera, once again probing, "Do you do this often?"

"Trials are no fun for me. I am putting people to death for things that we both know don't merit that kind of punishment. If this helps me get through it, are you going to take that from me?" Ava returned.

"I am not taking anything from you, Avery. You do not always need to be on the defense. I am not on the attack."

She nodded but didn't apologize. In between the both of them, they finished the cigarette. He held his hand out every time she took a drag and she hadn't expected him to keep up so well.

She was surprised he was going hit for hit with her. But she was going to take advantage. Perhaps he partook more often than she knew but she didn't think it was enough to damper him feeling the full effects of the havcera. Which meant he would be more pliable. Answers could be pulled from him. Once they had finished, she put out the cigarette.

"Question for a question?" she asked.

"Excuse me?" he reached over to close the window and Ava allowed him to, though she preferred it open.

"It's a game I play. Helps pass the time, helps get our questions answered, and ensures we get an equal exchange of information. For every question I ask and get answered, you get one too," she explained, hoping not to scare him away.

"And this is binding? Am I committing to a certain number of questions?"

"No, it ends when we want it to end. And if you don't want to answer a question I've asked, you can request another one but you get what you give. So if you are overly reserved, I will meet you with that same energy," she watched his head nod slowly as he processed the rules.

"And the questions have to be related?"

"They don't."

"Very well," he laughed, the havcera having absorbed into his system.

He was high and Ava laughed along with him. She was a few cigarettes deep, perhaps it was dangerous for her too. She prayed she didn't speak too much, there was no worry about something obvious slipping out but her father was guileful. He could find connection and meaning where Ava had not explicitly given anything away. It made all her questions stick in her throat, maybe she had been too greedy in suggesting the game.

"You should go first. I do not have a clue what I want to ask about," he said.

She furrowed her brow. For having proposed the game, she was vastly unprepared. She wanted to ask every question she had but where would she start? What would get her something insightful to share with Theo but not get her caught as a revolution sympathizer?

"You alluded to and outright mentioned that you do not have much time. Are you alright? How is your mental state? What exactly makes you say that?" Ava fired off three questions, hoping they would all be taken as one.

"Ah," he chuckled a bit even though dying was not anything to be laughing about, "I feel fine enough. I suppose one never feels good when getting to fifty. I cannot tell what is age and what is of genuine concern. I have far outlived many, so I fear my time is coming soon."

"But as nobles, we have always enjoyed better health and longer lives. It's a point of pride, one of the reasons people are so willing to vie for the title," Ava replied.

"Yes, that is true. It is also true that men of Vaith lineage start to deteriorate at this age... I need to start preparing you for the sun I am no longer here," he spoke casually like he held no fear over the thought of not waking up. Perhaps, he had yet to process the severity of his statements.

She found it surprising that someone with so much power wouldn't be more panicked about letting it go. Or moving onto a place where the unknown was all that was known. Death was so uncertain and for someone who tried to avoid the uncertain at every corner, he was too calm. Was he lying to her? Would digging into old records about Vaith men corroborate his claim?

"Do you have an estimated time? Or are these just assumptions on your end?" Ava pressed, using her follow-up questions too soon. She had another question she should have asked instead. But her father didn't know the rules, she would be fine to ask it after.

"I do not. Why? Are you planning your noble decrees already?" he replied, raising an eyebrow but keeping a smile on his face.

"Quite the opposite. I need you around at least for a bit longer," Ava teased.

"I never thought you were keen on me," he tilted his head.

"I am not," she put it bluntly. While they got along on their sun-to-sun, it was no secret that Ava disapproved of his choices and his habits, "But someone with one length of experience cannot inherit a noble seat without the whole of Baethos questioning their abilities. I need time. So, I am hoping you have a lot more of it."

She was not lying and her sincerity must have been clear. A thin layer of rigidness was peeled back, as if he kept his guard up thinking she would strike at any moment to take his spot but was letting it down.

"It is relieving to know you are not intending on poisoning me soon," he laughed once again, the havcera having affected him more than he had admitted to Ava.

"You are safe for now, I'll give it three or four lengths before I make any moves," she laughed but her gut burned. It was not a lie, "Would you say that the choice to name me heir was a rash decision, or even further, your only option?

"Do all of these questions count toward my tally of allowed questions? You have asked me many," he clarified. Damn her. She needed to choose people to play with who were not as perceptive.

"We are allowed to have follow-up questions if it pertains to the answer," Ava shrugged, bending the rule just a bit, "If you want to litigate it and say it's three or four questions, sure but I will treat your future follow-ups like that as well. Remember, you get what you give."

"No, you were far from my last option," he opted to answer, "I had many options and you were my best. I will not lie, my decision was influenced by an understanding that a quick demise on my end is always possible. But I have come around to know this was the best option for me and that it will turn out well. You are very similar to me, Avery, I have hope for your tenure as the head of this house."

"It's your turn now," she handed over the reign of questions, glossing over the stinging words masked as praise. She found no joy in being similar to him, whether it was an act or not.

"You were in Corinspe. I assume you met the head of the council, Uncilo," he stated rather than asking, "What was he like? He is very elusive, not much is known about him."

The question was certainly not what she had been expecting. She thought he would venture into her time as a pirate or her time with Theo, not who Uncilo was on the inside. He was elusive but Ava had assumed if anyone had information on him, it would be her father. They faced off at Corinspe, if he didn't know him at all then she had vastly overestimated how much of a risk The Center posed to the pirates.

Which had been clear after the devastation to The Center's fleet.

"I think Uncilo is an ass but I feel like I am the only one with that view," she rolled her eyes, thinking of all of the justifications for his actions others would give. She would never give Theo's secrets away or let her father in on Uniclo's treatment of the three he raised but she had no issue dragging his name through the mud, "He was manipulative but I suppose most people in power are. He is sly. I don't know that I can get much more of a read on him. Like I said, others admire him but I think he is a bastard. I didn't spend much time with him. Why do you ask? It's an odd thing to use your question on."

"I hired his crew for a few matters long ago before he had a big name, far before he fetched the prices he did at his prime. But I had never met him. I wonder if he will come into play for this upcoming rebellion we need to squash. An enemy we don't know about is a dangerous one," he mused and rested his head back against the wall of the nook.

He did look older, and more exhausted. She never spent much time with him but his face was a hard one to shake from her childhood memories that he plagued. In them, he was much younger. His lips did not pull downward and the lines on his face could be hidden in the right lighting.

"Is there more news of a rebellion? Do you know that he is involved for a fact?" Ava asked.

"Just murmurs and rumblings of some of the underground forces moving about. No one is saying anything yet. No rumor of anyone's involvement but you can never be too careful," he nodded his head, tilting it toward her, "And all of those questions you just asked me in response to my answer, that was just follow-up? They do not count as extra questions for you even though it was my turn?"

"Correct," she lied, the rules were her own and she could change them as she pleased, "now, it's actually my turn."

He held his hand out, motioning for her to speak.

"May I ask about your father? My grandfather."

"What about him?"

"You seemed upset when I last brought him up," Ava accused.

"That does not help me, what exactly do you want to know?"

"Why were you upset?"

For the first time that night, she had encountered a bit of resistance. There had been very little that her father shied away from. He was always quick to admit acts of horror as if he was reciting his tea order. Yet, he was pensive. She didn't know if it was because he was trying to think about his words or if he was caught up in thinking about his father.

"At your sister's funeral, you asked me when my father began to trust me. He always trusted me. I had to earn his respect but even then I had a good amount of it already. I was better suited for power than my older brother in a lot of ways and my father knew that too. No matter who was better off for the job, neither of us wanted it," he looked out of the window and into the gardens below, "We were always of the same mind about nobles and Baethos when I was young. He was barely a few lengths older than I was but he insisted he would take the burden because he was older. He told me he would protect me and shoulder the responsibilities of an heir. That did not happen though, eventually, he left and resigned his duties, leaving me with a job neither of us wanted. I was not upset at the mention of my father, I was upset at the reminder of my brother and what he put me through."

"I thought you were more than happy with your position now. Why would you be upset?"

"My thoughts toward the role have changed but the feelings of betrayal and hurt have never left, regardless of the outcome for me," he admitted and she saw the realness behind him even though he was not looking at her. His humanity shone through for the briefest of moments. The pain of being the one left behind was still raw, two classifications after the fact.

"Why didn't you want it?

"I have told you before, I did not agree with what he did and what being the head of this house called for," he reminded but she knew that well. She still could not believe it.

"But you ended up doing it. You conformed," she let the disbelief slip into her voice.

"If I had the misfortune of having the power, I was going to embrace it. And I did just that. I continued the legacy of this house the way everyone had done before me. I suffered so that generations before me did not also suffer in vain. And after a while, I stopped suffering and began to appreciate," he turned back to face her, sitting up instead of leaning against the wall, "Power is good, Avery. Power means you can rest easier at night than most people, knowing you can control your future. Everything I have done has had to be done for the good of Baethos and its people. Everything I have done is for our citizens of North Elox. They put their trust in us and we owe them a proper rule. You have to think about the good of millions, and sometimes that means sacrificing a few dozen."

There were a lot of lessons and a lot to unpack from what he said. The havcera was making his mouth run, but it was invaluable blabber. He was trying to get her to where he was. He truly viewed her as his best option. He was investing. For the first time, she realized she had him in a vulnerable position.

Her. Ava. Someone who had holed herself in her room her whole life was getting the best of Lord Umbar Vaith. She couldn't believe it.

"You said I could rule as I wanted," she called him on his obvious attempt to sway her.

"You can. I will not be around to stop you once you get into power," he nodded.

"Yet you hope that I get to your point of apathy and resign to expectations," she stated.

"I would not phrase it that way but sure, I do hope you get there," he laughed, a low rumble in his chest.

"So, this whole time you have been manipulating me into accepting your offer of being your heir. You presented me with a dream, an ideal. You said I could rule however I envisioned but that is not what you hoped I would mold to."

"There was a level of manipulation when I said you could rule as you pleased, yes. As I am sure there is a level of manipulation to most things you do as well. I said it before, we are very similar Avery. But it was not a lie, I will not be here to rule when you take power. I can only wish I have done enough to show you there is a reason for what we do and take the stances we do. Whether or not you adhere to traditions, as I hope you do, it is ultimately your choice," he said, his greatest weapon was always his words and semantics.

"I disagree," she shrugged and looked out of the window, no one was in the gardens below. The weather had turned and it was no longer too pleasant to be outside.

"What do you disagree with?"

"You claiming we are similar."

"If you get your attitude under control and learn not to unravel in front of people, you are not a far cry from me," he said as he looked at her but she refused to meet his eyes.

She was going to protest again but Arnelo knocked on the door. He peeked his head in, "The dressmaker, Lady Vaith."

"Let her into my visitor's room, Arnelo. I will be right there," Ava climbed out of the nook.

"I have been seeing that the accounts have been paying a dressmaker. I thought it was for your mother," he sat up with a laugh as Ava motioned him to follow.

She used the adjoining door in her room to walk into her visitor's side. The dressmaker was already setting up the fabric on the mannequin she had brought along every time they had a consult. It was ready. At least at first glance. The dress was simple, it was inspired by her first time in Niveal. She had seen so many new types of clothes and styles, she decided to incorporate some into a new dress.

It was a project of hers that had kept her somewhat occupied since returning. But it was more than just a pretty dress. If she was to usher in a new era and have people believe in her and her influence, she needed to cause a stir. Not just among the men but among the women too. Something that caught everyone's eye. So, she was making a dress that was updated, and modern. She hoped that the style would catch on.

She considered wearing it that night but it wasn't the right moment for that. She needed to time the debut just right.

"Thank you, leave us. I will have Arnelo or Vivexa find you to deliver my notes in the morning," Ava nodded toward the dressmaker, "it is looking spectacular, Polly. I doubt I will have much to say."

Polly, the dressmaker, bowed her head slightly before taking her leave.

"I am hoping this style catches on. This is more practical than our usual garb. Less fabric to save money, time, and material. It is about beauty in simplicity," she circled her prototype, reaching a hand down to spread out the fabric of the skirt. It went straight down from the hips, with no need for extra padding or unneeded underskirts.

"Why would nobility want to tout about simplicity?"

"It is not about simplicity, it is about beauty," Ava offered with a laugh, "It is about not allowing the focus to draw away from ourselves with dresses and accessories but to bring ourselves back to the center. It's about taking up space with ourselves instead of our clothes."

He didn't say anything but he stepped closer to inspect the dress.

"The simplicity aspect of it is to sell to the Lords in charge. If rebellion is looming and the pursestrings need to tighten all around, I am sure they will appreciate a dress that cuts the costs of labor and material in half. I will be seen as practical for this change," Ava offered and she could see his approval begin to shine through in a smile, "Besides the other benefits, it will allow people to learn that innovation is good and we can let go of the past. We need that for reforms if we choose to continue to implement them."

"Interesting," he kept his opinions to himself and Ava wondered if he would go back to his office and sabotage her plan.

But he was not the type to hide his opposition. If she would not be allowed to debut the dress, he would have told her. Perhaps, she did have his approval.

She tilted her head a bit with a slight smile, "And if it serves to show some of the new Council members and the rest of the seven that I can command influence just like the men before me, I am sure that won't hurt."

"Very smart, Avery. You are quickly picking up that political battles are won in silence and in the background. That is good. You are a good student," he bowed his head in praise, "I told you, you are like me."

"That is not a compliment," she replied.

He laughed, "I am going to head to sleep. Thank you for hosting me tonight, Avery. I have not felt quite this alleviated in a while. I will hear the report for tonight's trials in the morning."

Ava nodded and escorted him to the door. The trial was weighing heavy in her stomach but she could do nothing except let the minutes tick by until she needed to go. He left and she shut the door behind him, leaning against it with a sigh. She would attend the trial and then retire to her bath. It would be the only thing that would bring her relief as she spent another night waiting for Theo and knowing she wouldn't show up.

—---

Theo walked into the loungehouse behind a large group of women. She donned a typical Eloxian dress, muted and neutral colors, and a flowing skirt that was cinched in at the waist. She wore a bandana in her hair to compliment the dress but pulled some strands forward to cover her face. She wasn't in the best of disguises but overdoing it could bring too much attention to her. She tagged along with the women as they made their way to the reception.

Theo had been there the night before but had gotten scared after a few hours of waiting around with no one to show up. The feeling that she was being set up for a trap overtook her thoughts and she ran out rather than risk anything. But she had kept watch over the entrance and exits of the loungehouse for a few hours after that, making sure there indeed was not a trap waiting for her.

There wasn't.

So, she had come back the next night, staying far past her welcome, against Xyra's advice. The crew that had tagged along with her were docked in another city, waiting for her return. Having no one to stay with for the night and a deep fear that she could be ambushed in her sleep had she chosen formal lodging for the night, she hid out in the trees. On the outskirts of town, she used the forest as her dwellings and made sure to pop into an inn to freshen up before attempting to meet with Ava once again.

At the reception, she hung back hoping to catch the same person that had given her instructions the night before. They were attending someone but as soon as they looked up, Theo nodded their way. The worker jerked their head to the left, toward the room that Theo had been pointed to the night before. Theo left without waiting for another cue, she walked the halls to the steam room she had already been in.

Opening the door, Theo could see a figure sitting on an open bench. It was one more person than the night before. Theo didn't panic, she was instantly familiar. The blonde hair loose over her shoulders and cheeky smirk gave Viv away even amongst the steam. She was wearing nothing and Theo couldn't help but chuckle. Viv uncrossed her legs and spread out her arms on the seats behind her.

"Captain, make yourself comfortable," Viv motioned two fingers to come closer, "Looks like you have an awful lot on. You might want to shed some layers."

Theo shook her head and then looked around the room to make sure they were alone.

"Avery is indisposed right now before you ask. She is working," Viv filled her in, "put down your bag. Relax. No one is coming to kill you."

"Are you supposed to be here if she's not? Shouldn't you be with her?" Theo raised an eyebrow, keeping her bag close to her and her clothes on, despite the unbearable heat in the room. She had sat in the steam room with no steam the night before.

"Are you trying to imply that spies shouldn't get time off? Everyone deserves some form of relaxation," Viv said.

"Are you somewhere you aren't supposed to be and putting me at risk is all I'm asking. You doing things out of the ordinary might get you trailed which puts me at risk," Theo reminded and took one last look around, not convinced someone wasn't lurking somewhere in the mist.

"You aren't in any sort of danger. I usually escort her here in the early evenings and then to the brothel to pick her girl for the night. If she cannot make it, I come by myself and bring someone from the brothel on my way back to town if she has requested someone for the night," Viv explained their routine and Theo nodded that she understood, "No questions about that? No part of you is wondering if she did anything with those girls? You have always been too trusting."

Theo didn't give her the satisfaction of answering. She just stared her down in hopes the lack of response would get her to keep the conversation moving.

"She hasn't, she is loyal for whatever reason," Viv rolled her eyes and stood up from her ledge, walking closer, "Although she is picking the ones that look like you. Do you think that's a strategy to distract in case someone does run into you on your way in? Or do you think it's just so she could be reminded of you more often?"

"So, you are just allowed to come every sun to have some leisure time?" Theo asked, trying to pull them back to the issue at hand, staring Viv down as she came too close for her liking.

"When I'm here, I hear things. I am working, it is not leisure," Viv walked to a series of hooks and pulled her robe from the wall, and slipped it on.

"Oh, so spies never get time off. I was right," she poked fun.

"How was the meeting?" Viv asked.

"A hundred men in one room and it didn't burn down so I would say it was successful," Theo shot back.

Viv laughed, "I can't tell if that is a joke about men being incapable of behaving or you being incapable of behaving when men are around."

"A little of both," Theo admitted with a smile.

"Here," Viv pulled a bag off another hook and tossed it toward her. Theo caught it in the air, "I'm going to head out of here and kill some time. In an hour or so, change into that and make your way out of here through the back exit, and then meet me inside the brothel. Take the back alley from here, go three streets down, and enter through the back of the building. It's hard to miss it."

"No one is going to follow me? Or see me? Or find any of this suspicious?" Theo raised an eyebrow, looking inside the bag to find something more fitting for a brothel worker.

"You've never been one for so much paranoia. You usually do first and worry about consequences later," Viv crossed her arms, "you doing alright there, Captain?"

"I'm in the heart of Aubermasse and I've got a lot of people that would stand to benefit from killing me. Of course, I'm going to be paranoid," Theo scoffed a bit as she took out the clothes from the bag and stuffed it into her own, throwing the empty one to Viv.

Viv let it fall to the ground and then picked it up, "All whispers go through me. No one will suspect a thing and if they do, I will know and I can silence them."

"How do you know you are the only one whispers come to?"

"The only other person the whispers ever ran to is dead. Your precious princess shot him right through the forehead and in return, I took all of his informants," Viv answered the challenge with a callousness that only she could pull off.

"I thought you had eyes on you. Restricting your freedoms and all that. Whispers about what you do go straight to the man in charge, I assume," Theo didn't back down. It was her safety in question.

"Seems that my recent trip has only proven my worth. I have had no inclination that I'm being watched. I wouldn't be doing this and agreeing to Avery's crazy plans if I didn't know it was safe," Viv's tone was dripping in frustration, "I know my shit, Captain."

"I know you do, Vex," Theo smirked a bit, unable to help but enjoy herself when it was Viv that was riled up for a change, "I wasn't questioning your expertise, just the situation."

"Good. You know the plan?" Viv asked as she approached the door in just her robe.

Theo nodded, "I'll be there."

—---

From the brothel, they had made quick work in heading to the estate. Theo had covered her face with her hair and kept her head down when they had hitched a ride with a merchant heading up toward the estate. He had dropped them off a bit of a trek away from their destination but Viv still gave him a gold as payment.

Viv guided them through the forest, walking parallel to the path leading to the estate. Soon, they arrived at the rocky coast that cut off the forest. They walked along, with only the cloud-covered moon keeping them from falling onto the jagged peaks. Eventually, they came to a gate under lock. Viv opened it for them and Theo's stomach turned at how easy it had been. She wasn't convinced she was entirely safe. There was no doubt in her mind about Ava, that wasn't her concern. It was Viv and Lord Vaith.

Yet nothing happened as they proceeded further away from the gate. Before long there was a tall wall of stone in front of them, windows in the upper floors pointed out to the sea and she could only assume it was the back wing of Aubermasse's estate. There was only one entrance, a grate that made no architectural sense to be there. It was opened with ease, swinging on its hinges like a door. Viv motioned for Theo to step in and she did after a momentarily battle with herself over the risks.

Again, nothing happened as they entered the tunnels. There were no guards, no lights, and nothing interesting as they walked. According to most people, noble tunnels were always active. They were always being used for nefarious reasons. Perhaps some of the stories were of grandeur, serving to make the enemy bigger than they were. She had been in Aubermasse for far longer than she had wanted with no consequence.

"Are you enjoying being at the head of the navy?" Viv asked after a bit of walking through the tunnel in silence. They had been mostly quiet on the way there too.

"Nothing has happened," Theo shrugged.

"Where is your personality? Where is your... Umph?" Viv pointed to Theo's chest, "Where is your heart, Captain?"

Theo laughed, "I've got to hold back on my charm. Wouldn't want you spiraling. I am being empathetic to your struggles of having to face me while not being able to have me. I should at least make it easier for you, which I am attempting."

Viv didn't laugh like Theo had thought she would. Perhaps it was hitting too close. Viv had lost the mood to speak, the silence permeating through the air. Viv was usually better at keeping up with banter, she was the one that initiated it in the first place. Was there any truth to what Theo had been teasing about? Did Viv still care or did she not like that there was something she couldn't have if she wanted it. But that wasn't the question that had been burning at the back of her head.

"Something has been driving me mad for over a length," Theo said, "Can I ask?"

"Out with it. Can't guarantee an answer though," Viv said, looking straight ahead as they walked.

"You told Vaith about me. My connection to Zaridios, my parents. You told him about Ava too. You were intentional with sharing everything you could. Right? You told him everything you knew and held nothing secret," Theo pressed, trying to get clarity on her assumptions.

Viv looked uncomfortable, she might have been avoiding eye contact but Theo was looking right at her. Registering her discomfort, Theo began to regret having brought it up, she knew what happened when the blame got placed on Viv. She would push the situation around back on the accuser. She would bring up their past mistakes to justify her own. And then would follow it up with assurances that she didn't care what she had done. Theo could see that on her face, she could see her brain turning.

This was a person she had in her bed for a long time, some of that time spent was on and off but Viv was on her crew for a full length. They were together, inseparable, for that whole time. Theo was young and it had been a while before but she never would forget Viv's vitriol. Lobbing blame, shame, and guilt everyone else's way. It had always hurt her so deeply that it was hard to erase those memories. And it was hard to keep her body from reacting to the reminders of what was to come. But the rage and hurling of insults never came.

"I did. I told him everything I knew," Viv owned up to it.

There was nothing else. No justification. No harsh words spat back at her. Theo almost braced herself for an even worse build-up of Viv's tactics but there were no cues to point to anything else happening. Theo didn't know how to react to it. She thought she was gearing up for a fight and that feeling hadn't dissipated from her chest.

"Why? Was it for the money?" Theo asked.

"I have enough money..." Viv shook her head.

"Then why? I thought you would have had at least a little bit of regard for the time we spent together. I know now it was stupid of me but I thought that you would at least keep my secrets after you had done nothing but sell the ships' off for your entire tenure on my crew."

"You are not owed an explanation," Viv said and kept walking.

Theo followed along. She didn't press it further. She took the silence instead of the anger. If it wasn't the money, it was just because she could. Theo would say it was to hurt her, but the reality is that Viv was likely not even thinking about her. It was an opportunity to climb up the ladder. It wasn't money or revenge, it was power. She should have asked, and should have clarified that was the reason, but it was too late.

They came to a stop at a dead end, a brick wall in front of them. Theo looked around and put her hand on her dagger.

"Relax. This wall opens into her room. I haven't led you into a trap," Viv rolled her eyes.

Theo removed her hand from it slowly, "Well, are you going to open it?"

Viv shook her head, "I came to Vaith after I figured out who Avery was. I told him about Avery because I didn't want you two together. I wanted to ruin it for her, get her captured and brought back home. I thought if I couldn't have you, no one else should be able to."

Theo couldn't help the face she made, her head practically whipped back at the words. All of the suffering that ensued, just because Viv wanted to be petty. All of that over some weird possessiveness Viv held. Possessiveness that Theo didn't know about. She didn't think Viv cared enough about her. That wasn't her question though.

"You told him about me too though. You spilled my secrets. Why? Was that just to hurt me? Was it to secure you a better spot in his eyes?" Theo asked, not being able to hold back her curiosity.

"I don't know," Viv frowned a bit, "I don't know why I did it."

"Was it easy for you?" Theo asked but she knew the answer already.

"Yes," Viv whispered.

Her lips turned to a frown without meaning to. Viv shouldn't have been able to keep fucking with her mood this long after they were together. Theo didn't know why she asked, let alone know why she even let Viv speak to her. The only solace Theo had was that Viv didn't look happy, there was not a smirk on her face or a sly glint in her eyes. She was also frowning, having copied Theo. Theo shook her head, a slight scoff escaping her.

"Why do you look like you feel bad about it?"

"Because I do," Viv said.

That part, she hadn't been expecting. Theo had rarely witnessed Viv feel guilt. Thinking back, she didn't know that there was a time when Viv had been so genuine either. Anytime she admitted to being guilty, it had been a ruse. Something to placate Theo. This was not that. It was not just to appease her. She was not apologizing, just owning up to it. The worst part, and the part that made Theo a fool, was that she believed Viv. She believed that she felt bad, and that she regretted it to a degree.

Viv closed her eyes, she opened her mouth to say something but instead, she shook her head. Whatever it was, it would not see the outside of her mind. She opened her eyes and reached into her jacket pocket.

"Before I open the door," Viv pulled something out and handed it to Theo, "Do not open this unless I'm dead, it details what needs to be done in the event that happens."

Theo looked down at what had been handed to her, a sealed envelope. She glanced back up, "This is for me?"

"You are the only one I trust not to open it before I die. And the only one I trust to do what I ask when it is opened," Viv admitted, "So, am I right? Can I trust you with this?"

Theo was shocked but she tried not to let it show, instead, she nodded, "Of course. As long as it's within my ability, I will get it done if it comes to that."

"With the way your noble is taking risks and Vaith's track record with his most loyal of servants, seems more than likely you are going to have to make due on your promise," Viv noted.

"Try to avoid getting yourself killed," Theo provided unhelpfully, "but in the event that you can't, I'll make sure your affairs are in order."

"You're too good. You should have said no," Viv frowned a bit then opened the door, "whore delivery."

Viv pushed Theo inside and then shut the tunnel door behind her without another word. Theo could not even process the conversation that she had or the letter she had slipped into her bag. She had been thrust into action. As she came to the other side of the wall, she looked around. There were bookcases to either side of her and at first glance, the room was empty. The door entrance she was pressed up against had no obvious handle she could feel against her back. She felt trapped.

Correction, she was trapped.

She pushed her back further against the false wall in hopes that it would open behind her, gut sinking as she did. It was a setup. Xyra had not overstated the danger. She was reaching for her dagger as her other hand went behind her attempting to find a way to force open the door to reenter the tunnels. As her eyes continued to dart around the room, she spotted someone.

Arnelo was inside an archway on the opposite side of the room. From her spot, he was hard to see. The angle of the arch clipped him from view. He stepped forward and Theo didn't make a move. She was frozen in place, watching him closely and determining when it was a good time to throw her dagger at his throat.

"Are you here to see her?" Arnelo asked.

"Aye," Theo dropped the hand that was reaching for the door but kept her hand over her weapon, "where is she?"

He pointed behind him, "Bathing room. I was instructed to bring you in there when you came. I do not think she wants to get out just yet."

"She knew I was coming?" Theo hadn't been aware her arrival had come to anyone's attention but Viv's.

He shook his head, "She's been waiting every night this cycle. There are different instructions each night, depending on what she's doing."

She would have been a shame to her title as a captain if she just willingly accepted his answer. Her nerves were screaming at her, yelling that it could be a trap. She was just walking further and further into The Center's clutches. The hesitation must have been clear because Arnelo held his hands up and stepped out of his arch all the way.

"There is nothing going on. This floor all belongs to Lady Avery. You will not be disturbed, I can assure you that," Arnelo said.

She nodded and finally stepped forward. Her first instinct was to plunge her blade into his chest, she could take another soldier from The Center. One less person to fight against them in battle. His mere presence should have sent her running. It was against her nature to interact with him so openly.

Which is why she couldn't have explained the reason she continued to talk to him but she did, besides his occupation, he didn't have an off-putting presence. He didn't seem like the typical soldier she had come to know, "How is she?"

"Tonight was hard, it is good that you're here," he said then walked back to where he was in the archway, and opened the door he had been protecting. Theo hadn't been able to see it upon entry but as she walked further into the room, it became clear. Arnelo had not been lying. He peeked inside, "Lady Vaith. She's here."

"Let her in and leave us," the reply came within an instant, the voice was like a beautiful melody in Theo's ears.

Theo didn't know the kind of reunion she was expecting, perhaps she thought Ava would be on the other side of the door, ready to jump into her arms. That wasn't what she was met with. Ava was standing up in the pool, the water falling at her hips. Her back was turned to Theo as she looked out of the window, the glow of candles lighting the room made her usual pale skin glow red to match her hair.

A lightness filled Theo, her soul settled from rattling against the cage of her chest. The buzzing that was always under her skin, begging for Ava to be safe and secure, was quieted for the moment. Ava didn't turn to face her but she didn't care. She didn't want to disturb her, Arnelo had said it was a hard night. Theo would meet her where she was. The door closed behind them and Theo walked the rest of the way to the edge of the water. She dropped her bag then piece by piece she took off the clothes she had worn to the brothel. She didn't disturb the silence that covered the room, the only sound was her clothes hitting the floor. Once she was undressed, Theo stepped into the scalding water.

She waded forward but Ava didn't dare turn around. Water lapped at her hips as Theo disturbed the stillness of the pool. She felt herself being pulled against Theo's chest and she let out a sigh she had been holding in. She melted into the embrace, putting her weight against the captain. Strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist and she felt light kisses trailing up her neck, then down one shoulder, then down the other.

Ava reached back and her hand tangled itself in Theo's hair, trying to pull her impossibly close, "Please tell me it's all going to be worth it in the end."

"It will be," Theo's voice was in her ear, "it is only a matter of time."

Ava let out a sigh at the sound of Theo's voice. Her eyes slipped shut and her body sank back into Theo's embrace. Relief seeped into her, the tension she had been carrying in every muscle of her body released for a moment. It was all the effect of Theo. In her arms, everything felt surmountable. Their problems and struggles seemed small. How could one person make her feel like that? Only a sentence had been exchanged and her entire world had healed, the turmoil that had raged inside her for cycles was quieted and the events of the night had been forgotten. It was temporary, she knew that, but she welcomed whatever she got with Theo.

There had been a time when she had not known what it was like to hold as much love for someone as she did. A time when she had not experienced being loved so deeply either. Theo had come into the Vaith estate willingly. She had braved the unknown and probably fought against her every instinct just to meet with Ava again. Of course, she also had to come on behalf of the rebellion but Ava preferred to think Theo took the risk for her, not because of anything else.

"How long is a matter of time?" Ava asked, breaking the silence from taking each other in.

"At least a few lengths," Theo began to pull them backward toward the edge of the pool. She found the stone bench and sat down, pulling Ava the rest of the way onto her lap. She buried her face in the noble's neck and chuckled a bit, "At a minimum".

"So you're a liar," Ava teased, "it won't just be a matter of time."

"Matter of time is subjective. I didn't promise a time frame, you made one up from my words," Theo shot back.

"Been spending a lot of time with Cooker, have you?"

Theo laughed but shook her head.

"Exal," she placed a kiss on Ava's neck, "can I see your face?"

Ava laughed, there was slight desperation in Theo's tone. She wanted to hold out on her a little longer and build the suspense, but that would be cruel. Theo had traveled too far to tease that way. But she didn't immediately turn around, something was keeping her. It was the same pull of her gut that kept her from facing Theo when she first entered the room.

"I'm scared," she said.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," Ava sighed and leaned her head back against Theo's shoulder, looking up at the ceiling, "I know I am going to turn around and you are going to be more beautiful than the picture in my head and I don't know how I can handle that. I can't just look at you and admire you knowing I have to let you go."

"Then close your eyes because I need to see you," Theo teased, wrapping her arms tighter around Ava.

"You don't have a good view of my face?" Ava shot back, knowing that Theo could barely get her profile. She was being cruel even though she had told herself not to be.

"You know I don't," Theo huffed, letting her grip on Ava's waist go to encourage freedom of movement.

She had put it off long enough. She pulled herself away from the curing embrace and turned around, floating closer to Theo but keeping her eyes closed as she did. Theo pulled her back into her lap with a laugh.

Ava reached out and tapped around with her palm until she covered Theo's mouth. There was some humming against it, Ava assumed it was a question about what she was doing.

"If you laugh again, I'll be forced to open my eyes and I just told you I don't want to do that," Ava explained, "in case you were wondering why I needed to silence you, Captain."

A hand enveloped her wrist and pulled it away.

"Apologies for almost ruining your wishes," Theo feigned sincerity, snaking her arms around Ava's waist once again. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on her collarbone, "You're in my dreams so often I need to make sure this isn't one of them. In case you were wondering why I won't even let an inch of space between us."

Ava laughed, finally opening her eyes. She was right to be scared. She should have been more terrified. Her stomach felt light, like she standing at the top of a tower looking down. Theo was there with her. In the most impossible place for her to be, but she was there. She would have also been afraid it was a dream but she could never get this close for that long when she dreamed of them together.

Her memories had not captured Theo correctly. There was an allure to her presence, a magnetism about her. No picture in her head could capture the fire that burned in her chest when Theo was around, no feeling she could summon when she was alone could come close to it. She made Ava feel strong, capable, and free–just by association.

Theo shook her head after a few beats of silence, she reached up and rubbed a thumb over the top of Ava's cheekbone, "You are..."

Ava could see her swallow. Whatever she was going to say had gotten stuck in her throat, or maybe she never had known how the sentence was going to finish.

"Kiss me," Ava demanded and Theo needed no further instruction.

Their lips crashed together at first as both of them leaned forward to intercept the other. But the fervor didn't persist, Theo's hand came up to Ava's jaw to cradle it gently and she pulled away slightly before coming back softer. There was no rush to that kiss and Ava melted into it. Theo's hand was firm at the small of her back as she was pulled in closer.

In the pool, with no clothes on, everything felt sensual. The kiss was tender and yet she already felt herself getting carried away. Theo was gentle, careful with her kisses but it wouldn't be long before it turned to more. Ava wouldn't be able to help herself. She knew how they were in Niveal–hands constantly on each other– but they didn't have the same luxuries of time as they did there.

"How long can you stay?" Ava pulled away to ask.

Theo shrugged with a smile, lips red and eyes glossed over. Ava laughed a bit at how easily the both of them had been brought to the precipice of distraction. They hadn't even spoken business, "I can stay however long you want me to."

"You cannot stay for as long as I want you to, for that I would have to lock you away and keep you here forever," Ava brought her hands to rest on the sides of Theo's neck, "but I am free all night. I have no visitors until morning, my mother has been coming by. I'm not too sure when, it is usually an hour after sunrise."

"I will stay until sunrise then," Theo promised.

"Alright," Ava nodded with a smile, "that means we have all night."

"We do," Theo reached up and took one of her curls, bouncing it slightly, "can we talk about business? Xyra will kill me if I don't bring it up first."

"Hold on," Ava slipped off Theo's lap and climbed out of the pool. She walked over to the window that spanned from the floor to the ceiling. She stood in front of it without any clothes on and drew the curtains.

Theo rested her arms back against the ledge of the pool and tracked Ava's movement across the room. She had left the window and walked toward the door, the same one Theo had entered through. She found it easier to observe and not ask questions. Ava opened the door slightly, standing behind it so none of her body was visible from the crack she made. She peeked her head out.

"Arnelo, please close the curtains in my room. Have the tray delivered, then leave it in my nook, lock the door behind you, and stand guard at the entrance to the floor," Ava commanded but her tone was soft, not exigent, "and before you leave, do a sweep of the floor to make sure we don't have any stragglers."

Theo couldn't hear the response but shortly after, Ava closed the door then started her trek back to Theo.

"Does he ever sleep?" Theo asked, sitting up slightly to receive the noble.

"Of course he does," Ava laughed as she stepped back into the water, "what kind of question is that?"

"Maybe the Vaiths have a miracle drug that keeps people awake. I don't know what you nobles get up to," she teased and beckoned Ava over but her request wasn't granted, "I've only ever seen him guarding you so I was starting to get suspicious."

"I feel like him having a twin that he switched duties with is more plausible than a superhuman drug," Ava sat down on the bench opposite Theo, smirking a bit when a look of confusion crossed Theo's face.

"But it's neither of those. So when does he sleep?" Theo got tired of waiting and even though she knew it was Ava silently exerting her powers over Theo, she gave in anyway. She pushed herself off the bench and made her way in front of Ava, placing both of her arms on either side of her thighs.

"Depends on the sun. If I am around the estate and Viv or someone else is with me, he will take his leave. He coordinates with his supervisor, I have no knowledge of the process," Ava shrugged and Theo laughed at the nobility hanging in the air from the statement. Ava rolled her eyes but didn't comment.

"But he spends most of his time with you?" Theo asked.

"If he is not eating or sleeping, aye. He gets one sun off every cycle," she elaborated.

Theo pulled away from Ava and took up a spot next to her, once again leaning against the wall of the pool, "Fucks sake. That's a lot of work on his end."

"He gets paid very well for it," Ava turned her head to look at Theo.

"How much is well?"

"250 gold a length. 5 silvers a sun."

Theo was silent. She looked toward the door Arnelo had been posted outside and narrowed her eyes.

"What?" she asked but Theo shook her head. Ava laughed and reached over to slap her arm lightly, "Something is up, you look embarrassed."

"I spend his salary for one length in an afternoon of shopping in Niveal," Theo confessed.

"Aye, your spending habits have not always aligned with your moral convictions and your preachings about wealth," Ava said.

"I share all the money I earn. Everyone on the crew gets a fair share," she raised an eyebrow, "I am very moral about the way I split up my earnings."

Ava shrugged with a smirk, "Sure, but fall on either extreme on what you do after you split the rewards. Either you hoard the money you earn or spend it frivolously. You always talk about redistributing to those that have less but you have more than you'll ever need."

"You have no way of knowing that," Theo laughed at her, she was purposely pushing buttons, "no one has any way of knowing that. I have never shared how much money I have with anyone."

"The way you treat gold, I think it's a fair assumption," Ava teased, slipping off the bench and floating to the middle of the pool, facing Theo but keeping her distance.

Theo stayed still, "You are the noble, I don't know how I'm getting roasted over a fire about money."

"Just because you don't have the last name doesn't mean you aren't just as rich as us," Ava hummed, her hands gliding through the water in front of her.

"There are plenty of people far richer than I am."

"Does that change the fact that you are wealthy?"

"Get back over here," Theo ignored the challenge, holding out both her hands toward Ava, "If money is power then I've got plenty of both and I command you to come join me again."

Ava took Theo's hands and then got pulled back into her lap. Hands were at her hips shortly after, and Theo's thumbs rubbed over her skin. Ava smiled before leaning forward, her head falling on Theo's shoulder. They were quiet for a moment, soaking in each other.

"Arnelo said you were having a rough night," Theo said, picking Ava's chin up so they could see each other.

"Aye, I had a trial tonight," she said nothing else but there was pain in her eyes. Her lips turned down into a frown and she looked away. Theo could tell it was a raw subject.

Theo took a deep breath, her blood went slightly cold. She was in Aubermasse, likely close to Umbar Vaith, and could do nothing to stop Ava's torture at his hands. There was no reason to make her do trials, it was rarely ever conducted by heirs. It came with the role of head of household, Theo wasn't even a last namer and she knew that.

"Sorry, exal," Theo said, the only thing she could do was give an apology that was not hers to give.

"I sent a man to his death. For being caught in a relationship with another man. I am doing the same thing right now but I killed him for it," Ava once again pulled herself from Theo's lap, almost like she was ashamed.

Instead of staying in the pool though, she climbed out and walked to the wall that held the towels and robes. She slipped on a robe as Theo started to follow.

"You did not do anything but pass the verdict, you are not killing anyone," Theo walked over once she exited the pool and reached over for her robe.

"But I enforced the verdict! I made it true. I had no role in it yet I am responsible for his death and everyone else before him" Ava argued, her bottom lip trembled and the tears were quickly gathering in her eyes, "how do I live with that, Theo?"

The feeling of seeing her cry hit Theo in the chest, she would have wanted to cry too if the seething anger for Lord Vaith hadn't fought it off. Being furious at someone she couldn't reach or see wouldn't help Ava though. She had asked a question and wanted a response.

"I think it is just something you need to accept," Theo shook her head, it was awful advice and not at all what she had been trying to convey. Her nose scrunched up and she shook her head, silently trying to take back what she had said. Ava laughed through welled-up tears, causing a few to fall down her cheeks. Theo reached up and swiped them away, "Before I left, Xyra reminded me that people are going to die. Innocent people. We can only do so much to minimize the bloodshed, even from our positions of power."

"That's fucking dark," Ava laughed again wiping the rest of the tears away before leaning forward and wrapping her arms around Theo's shoulder, pulling her in for a hug, "and it helped nothing, by the way."

"I'm glad to see it has brought you the same amount of comfort it brought me," Theo tried to joke but there was no further laughter. She wrapped her arms around Ava's waist and squeezed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Ava sighed a bit, not lifting her head from Theo's shoulder or unwrapping herself from the hug, "Should we discuss business now? That is what you came here for."

"It is not. I came here to see you. Everyone else sent me here to conduct business."

Ava smiled, finally pulling her head away to fully look at Theo, "We have a duty, we should talk business first."

"But I also have a duty as your lover to make sure you are emotionally, mentally, and in other ways fulfilled before I go," Theo titled her head to one side then the other, "and if it's between my duty to the revolution, or my duty to you, I know which I'd chose."

"If it's ever between the revolution and me, for any reason, you choose the revolution, Theo," Ava got stern, her smile melting off her face.

"I won't ever fail to choose you again," Theo shook her head, "I've already done that once. I refuse to do it a second time."

Ava pulled away, her eyes slightly narrow, "I am not doing all of this so that my suffering will be in vain."

"And I am not doing all of this just to not have you by my side at the end of it, Red."

"That's extremely selfish of you."

"I have never said I wasn't," Theo reached out for Ava's hand but she swiped it away.

"Selflessness is at the basis of your philosophy," Ava pushed her finger into Theo's chest.

Theo pulled the hand away, interlocking her fingers with Ava's instead, "Cooperation. Transparency. Moral decision-making that involves everyone. All of those are at the core of my philosophy, selflessness is not."

"Don't argue semantics with me," Ava shot back.

"Don't argue my devotion to you," Theo raised an eyebrow.

Ava rolled her eyes, pulling her hand away, "Captain, you are the most ridiculous, stubborn, and dare I say idiotic person I know."

"Now, I am positive that is not true," Theo laughed, "you know Cooker. You know Xyra. You know Skins. You know Morgana. The list goes on, love."

"Yet, you manage to surpass each of them," Ava couldn't help but chuckle, Theo had broken her resolution to be upset.

—----

"So, I suppose the only eventful thing that has happened so far is that I have been learning, a lot. When I first came here, there were some lessons but nothing like this. I am being drilled all sun with questions and quizzes of policy, process, etiquette, and the who's who of what feels like all of Baethos," Ava waved her hands around as she spoke, a piece of cheese in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

"No classifications old family secret that can take down The Center?" Theo teased, taking a drag from the dragon's breath.

"Not yet. But I told you when we sat down to exchange information, there is not much that will come from me," Ava popped the piece of cheese in her mouth and then washed it down with the wine, "I mean, we get visitors that I need to entertain but those are all from houses under us. They never provide anything meaningful to report back. Maybe one sun, it will become relevant so I still keep my ear out but I've gotten nothing."

"It's going to take time. It's only been a short while since he has started to trust you fully," Theo consoled her, "you said you got his approval only a few cycles ago when you got here, it will take more than that to uncover anything that can shift the tides permanently."

"I know," Ava nodded and reached over to take the dragon's breath from Theo, who easily let it go, "but it feels like I'm not fucking doing anything. All I do is adhere to the rules and do my father's bidding. You will be on the ground, leading the fight against the tyrants while I am here sipping on expensive mead and sharing meals with those very people."

"Your work is important, Red. I am not just saying that to appease you, I mean it. We have never had someone so high up involved in the revolution before, at least not in recorded history. It's unprecedented, you are already doing more than enough," Theo insisted.

"Thank you for your falsities," Ava smiled a little, "but my point is that it won't be until next time that I have much to report. It seems like you came here for nothing."

"As I mentioned not too long ago, I came here for you. And other people have sent me here because we do need you for something. We need to talk through strategy," Theo raised an eyebrow as she reached over for a piece of bread and took a bite. She closed her eyes and shook her head, "fuck this is good."

"I do distinctly recall you making fun of Eloxian and nobles' food many a time for being bland," Ava took a sip of her drink.

"I've got to give credit where it's due. You lot seem to have good snacks," Theo chuckled and finished the rest of her piece before washing it down with wine, "I need your help with strategy by the way. I don't know if I made that clear."

"Please, fill me in. You haven't even given me an overview of how the meeting went."

Theo shrugged, "It went. Uncilo came and he delivered us the pirates and the roamers. We had to do some heavy lifting with the traders. Some holdouts here or there but nothing we aren't working on wrangling in."

"Do we know anything about funders, numbers, who we have as allies on the inside of noble society?" Ava asked.

"Not yet, that is all going to be spoken about at a stakeholders meeting with the people I just recruited, Brandon, and the people he has on his side," Theo explained.

"Sounds like there will be a lot of people of importance there. What if you have a rat?"

"The infiltration of some vermin is inevitable when dealing with people like this. Maybe that is where you can come in."

"Identify the leaks?" Ava tilted her head.

"Aye. Keep your ear to the ground in your circles. See who are the ones who turn. If we have that information we can make use of it. Take them out of the equation, or use it to our advantage and plant false information," Theo theorized.

"I can do that. My father has already started to hint things to me about whisperings of a rebellion. When it is in full swing, I do not doubt he will come to me with information of our own spies and knowledge," Ava agreed, "is that the strategy?"

"No. At the meeting, we will also be launching our tactical approach. We are laying out how we plan to engage The Center," Theo asked for the cigarette and it was handed to her, "guerilla warfare."

"Smartest way to approach it," Ava nodded.

"We are going to stay underground. Make sure we take care in planning and reconnaissance. We will hide until the moment is right and strike then go back to hiding," Theo explained in between drags of the cigarette, "I need your help. I'm coming up short on good ideas. Or what would even work. We need our first attack to hit them where it hurts. We need to make a good first impression but also not rake up casualties. The attack should be big, it should make them vulnerable but it shouldn't be bad enough that it kills innocents. We lose the war before it begins if anyone dies."

Ava thought for a moment. She closed her eyes. What had her father told her? What was said about their troop movements? Very little had been spoken about in that regard. Her father had been preparing her for the nobles she would have to interact with. So far, diplomacy, not war, was what her lessons were on.

There was one conversation that stood out to her, brief but she remembered it. It had nothing to do with the rebellion though.

"Lumber mills in The Twins," Ava opened her eyes, "that is where they are sourcing the wood for their navy. They are on track to try and rebuild quickly, they've sniffed out that nobles are more scared for their estates and safety than they are to spend the money in the coffers. The last act of the Council will be to invest in the building of a new fleet. Attacking the lumber mills will only affect their ability to start for a little bit until they get the buildings back up and running but it would be low casualties. And buy you some time on the water without any fleets to worry about."

"People work the mills."

"Not at night."

"Aye, that could work. If we go with that, will it fall back on you?"

"It's not a secret. The Center is under contract with existing mills down South. It could just as easily be blamed on them or anyone that went about bragging they secured a lucrative contract with the government."

"You implied that it is several mills?" Theo asked.

"There are several. You can attack one or all. The problem is I don't know the exact names or locations," Ava frowned.

Theo shook her head with a wide smile, reaching over and squeezing her knee "That is enough. Thank you."

"They are going to want to retaliate," Ava warned.

"Of course they are. Hopefully, we make it out of whatever attack we plan without any scuffs. After that, we go back into hiding."

"I can't help with anything else?"

"Next time we see each other, hopefully, I have more requests but right now that is all I have," Theo leaned back against the wall, looking at Ava with a fond smile, "we are just at the beginning of this thing, there will be plenty more time for strategy."

"Ah," Ava chuckled and took a sip of water that time, "so you were lying to me. It isn't a matter of time and you've known that."

"Still subjective, no matter my intent."

"Hm," Ava tilted her head, "wrong."

Theo laughed, "Do you feel secure in your position under your father?"

"Oddly enough, I do," Ava laughed, "that is so stupid, right? Trusting a Vaith? But he tells me I am it and I am inclined to believe him."

"What makes you say that?"

"I think he is dying. I mean, he's told me as much. Says Vaith men die earlier in life than other nobles," Ava admitted what she had found out, "and Pierce is too young to be trained before he believes he is going to pass. So, I am all he has. Plus, like I told you earlier, he has said he approves of me now. I have met his expectations."

Theo was quiet, she looked down at her hands and twisted one of the rings that she had kept on.

"What?"

"Hard to think someone like him is mortal. Feels like it's always easier to justify him being alive and well on the fact that he is immortal and untouchable," Theo shared and for the first time it looked like being in Aubermasse had weighed on her, "do you think he fully trusts you?"

"Of course not. I still need to be careful. But he relies on Viv and Arnelo to keep me in line in whatever mischief I'm up to. What he doesn't know is they report to me," Ava smiled a bit, "I think I am his chosen heir and that isn't changing given his circumstances."

"How long does he have?"

"Fuck knows," Ava shrugged and it caused Theo to laugh, shedding some of the weight of the mention of Vaith, "he's convinced it's coming soon but I don't know. He looks fine."

"That means you could see yourself in his seat while the revolution is still ongoing," Theo pointed out.

"For the revolution's sake, I'm sure it's good but that is the last thing I want to happen," Ava shook her head, her stomach flipped and she put her hand over it, trying to calm it.

"Now you know how it feels to be General," Theo lit the dragon's breath that had gone out but handed it to Ava instead of taking it herself, "Uncilo says he is dying too. But he looks bad, so I believe him. It doesn't seem like one of his tricks."

Ava was surprised, both of her eyebrows shot up at the news and she cleared her throat, "Shit, I'm sorry, Theo."

Theo laughed dryly, biting her lip for a moment then shaking her head, "Fuck that guy. It's fine."

"How are you really feeling about it though?" Ava pressed past the obvious facade.

"Conflicted. I hate that I care and that I will mourn him when he's gone," Theo said.

Ava reached out and took Theo's hand, rubbing a thumb over the back of it. While Ava had her obvious opinions on Uncilo, the reality was he was a part of Theo's life and responsible for raising her. With him dying, that would be the third father figure Theo lost, after Barge and her actual father. All she could do was acknowledge that.

"It must be hard. Regardless of your current feelings toward him, you've explained how much of an influence he's had. I'm sorry."

Theo nodded and squeezed her hand before untangling it, "Thank you."

Ava pulled away and sat back. They looked at each other for a moment before Theo broke eye contact and went back toward the snacks. As she was scanning them, Ava's mind was working. Uncilo dying was information that could sell for a high amount, metaphorically.

"Could I tell my father about Uncilo?" Ava tilted her head and Theo looked up at her, "I can use it as leverage with him, it could win me points in his eyes and make him trust me more. He asked me about Uncilo the other day, so the information would be of interest."

"Fuck's sake, Red," Theo laughed a bit, "Couldn't have waited at least a minute?"

"Sorry," Ava felt her cheeks heat up, she was taken aback by herself, "I'm sorry. That was so inappropriate. I was in strategizing mode and I need to get myself out of that headspace."

"That's alright," Theo reached forward and tugged at Ava's pants.

She took the hint and moved the trays out of her way, climbing over to Theo and sitting in between her stretched-out legs. Theo kissed her shoulder and put her chin there.

"I'm thinking," Theo whispered.

"About?"

She lifted her head, "Tell your father."

"Really?" Ava looked back.

"Aye. There is not a consequence to you telling him. If your father perceives weakness, then let him. There is none. Uncilo has asked Kaia to step in and I believe she will take the position once he dies. But you can paint it as more dire than it is. Tell him there is infighting. Distractions. Make him underestimate the pirates, make him believe they are too fractured to be taking too large of a role in the revolution," Theo strategized.

"I can sell that," Ava leaned back against her.

"I believe it. You've become quite the actress," Theo chuckled, "but will he question how you got access to the information?"

"I will tell him I asked Viv. He was already interested in the pirates and Uncilo. I can say I was trying to be proactive given his questions, I wanted to prove useful," Ava said, "What is next for you? The meeting is over, now what?"

"Stakeholders. Have to meet with them all. Secure funding, talk about plans of attack, fully assess our numbers, set up safehouses, contingencies," Theo let out a huff, "it's going to take a cycle to end that meeting, at least. And I'm not looking forward to it."

Ava shook her head with a smile even though Theo couldn't see her, "No, I can't imagine you are. For a captain and a general, you can be quite opposed to socializing."

"I have done enough of it for a lifetime," Theo kissed Ava's temple, "and you? What's next? Classification is coming around the corner."

"And I'll be traveling before it and during it. The voting and naming of the Council members is being held in the South this time around. Before that, we will be making our rounds and tallying our votes."

"Any worries?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if it was unanimous. Elox loves my father," Ava shook her head, "he's fucking good at this game, Theo."

"You don't get to where he is and the accolades he has without being excellent," she conceded, his prowess was undeniable, "When can I see you next?"

"I should be back here shortly after the next classification but only for a little while before I am due for the first meeting of the seven followed by going to The Center for the first time as a new Council," Ava laid out her itinerary.

"Fuck, Red," Theo put her forehead on Ava's shoulder for a moment, "you're in this shit now."

"I would be lying if I said I was sleeping alright," Ava laughed a bit but she could feel some of the fear that gripped her at night rise in her chest.

It felt like all of it was riding on her. Theo had to feel that way sometimes, but Ava didn't want to ask to confirm.

"I'm sorry it has to be you," Theo said.

Ava reached around until she found Theo's hand and she locked their fingers together, "It's the least I can do to make up for what my family has done since the start of Baethos."

Ava shifted a bit so she was leaning against Theo's chest with the side of her face, arms coming to wrap around her midsection.

"Will you come to see me when I get back?" Ava asked.

"I will be here."

"The seas have been rough. Did you have a safe passage? Will you be alright on the way back? How about upon your return to Aubermasse?" Ava sat up a bit.

Theo laughed at the sudden influx of panic and questions, "Riva has been good and I think that will be the case for a while."

"You've mended the connection?"

"Aye, something of the sort," Theo put vaguely.

Ava smacked her teeth with her tongue, "Always so secretive about her. Should I be jealous?"

Theo rolled her eyes with a smile, "What about you and Janei?"

"That hasn't panned out for me," Ava shrugged, "I suppose stepping into the role of Avery Vaith was the opposite of what she had wanted for me. I haven't felt anything since Corinspe."

"I think I learned from experience that they cannot reach you if you are closed off," Theo advised, "it may be why skeptics never get to see what others may see. But you've felt it before, you know it is there. You might just be blocking yourself off."

"Or maybe it was in my head, to begin with. Maybe it was a desire for something bigger to call to me when there was nothing," Ava put out her theory, "are you upset I have not converted yet?"

It was only a slight joke, there was some worry in her tone. She didn't share the same convictions as Theo.

"Of course not. It's alright if you don't believe in it," Theo laughed a bit.

"I do believe it. But I am of Xyra's mind. I know they exist, it's just gods don't like me," Ava said.

"If you say so," Theo chuckled, "I am not here to force anyone into opening up."

"How is the island?" Ava asked then grunted as she tried to adjust to find a comfortable position, "I'm upset you have so much to catch me up on and we won't have the time to get to all of my questions."

"Less follow-up questions on your behalf means more time for me to say a bunch of things," Theo mused, "but I like your questions. So we are at an impasse."

"I won't interrupt, tell me everything about the island," Ava rested against Theo once again, "and tell me how everyone is."

Theo did what was asked. She told her everything she could think of. She started with the people, a general update on all of their wellbeing. She told Ava about the letters she had brought along, the building of her house, the beach, and the systems for resource production. Ava did her best to keep any questions at bay but some slipped through. For the most part, though, she let Theo talk without stopping. Her eyes had shut at some point but Theo continued to watch her.

As Theo finished, Ava didn't say anything in response. She pulled Theo's arms around her waist and opened her eyes, a frown beginning to form. Theo stayed quiet, letting her think through whatever was in her head without pressuring her to share. But she wanted to know what was going on with her shift to solemness. The first tear slipped down Ava's cheek and several more followed soon after.

"I want to be there instead of here," Ava said softly, through a choked inhale.

"I know," Theo said, it was all she could say. There was no comfort to give and apologies would do nothing, "it's no solace but the island will be there when this is all over. It will wait for you."

That inspired another round of tears, Ava turning slightly to bury her head in Theo's neck. It had turned into sobbing at that point, she should not have said anything. She was an idiot for opening her mouth and speaking about the future. She couldn't say sorry though, she feared anything else would cause Ava to slip further into despair. So she waited silently, rubbing Ava's back and holding her while she wept.

Theo could feel tears slip down her face too, having to listen to Ava cry and feel her pain but being unable to stop it overwhelmed her. Yet, she would not trade her position for anything the world could offer her. She would have rather been there, comforting her than anywhere else.

"I'm ready to speak now," Ava said after some time had passed since her crying had calmed down, voice tight and frown still present.

"You don't have to be."

"I'm sure you have questions."

"Just ones I don't want to ask. Like how has your time at home been?" Theo shook her head, "which is the worst question because the only answer is bad."

Ava slumped against her, huffing as she did, "The answer is worse than you probably expect."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean?" Theo admitted.

"Monster," she sat up and faced Theo, a deep set frown turning her face sour, "my time at home has been finalizing my transformation from who I was before to a fucking monster."

"Red-"

"No! Theo, that's the issue, Red is gone. Ava is gone. I am Avery Vaith again. Or perhaps I am Avery for the first time in my life, but I am different," Ava argued, she could admit she was being melodramatic but it was all true. It was how she felt.

"Is there a reason you are saying this?" Theo sat forward, tilting her head.

"Cameron, for one," Ava shook her head and pulled herself out of the nook, too antsy to be so close to Theo when admitting to her wrongdoings, "I keep pushing him away. I keep being so fucking mean to him, and I can feel myself doing it and I can't stop. I feel so out of control when I'm around him. Like, he's the only one I can get away with mistreating and he truly cannot do anything about it. Hurting him is easy and I've just turned into my siblings. I was their punching post because I couldn't fight back and now I'm doing the same to him."

Theo watched as Ava paced the room, confessing to her behavior. She was shocked to hear Ava admit it so openly but it also did not come as much of a surprise. When living between the walls of nobles, it was easy to descend to their level. Still, it was new to Ava. Theo had never known her to be outright mean without provocation, she was often the peacemaker. She was the fucking quartermaster, being personable and kind was her whole approach. It could not have been easy for Ava to realize she was slipping from that.

"You have nothing to say to that?" Ava prompted.

Theo wasn't there to comment on Ava's struggles, she had no place to. She shook her head, "Not unless you wanted to talk more about it."

"Are you judging me for it?"

"I could never," Theo said as she also pulled herself off the nook, walking over to Ava's bed and pulling her along when their paths crossed, "I might not be around or understand the context or even know how you are treating him but I know that this one thing does not make you a cruel person."

"But?"

Theo shrugged, sitting on the bed and holding Ava in front of her, "But Cameron seems to be the only one besides O that is on your side and doesn't directly work for you. A friend might be needed the longer you spend here. You haven't always been at odds with each other, last I saw you, you spoke well of him. Can you not get back to that point?"

"He is so alright with being here and it frustrates me. He is optimistic and kind and resilient to the influences of this stupid fucking place," Ava scoffed, looking away but not moving from her spot standing over Theo.

"I am pretty sure that is exactly the way that Xyra felt about you," Theo pointed out with a slight smile, "and you ended up being a good asset for her and you share a good friendship."

"Used to."

"Well, I would say she still considers you her friend. If the letter she insisted on getting to you is any clue."

Ava shook her head, "Well, no one would be my friend if they saw how I was acting. And you certainly wouldn't be here, looking at me as lovingly as you do."

Theo shook her head, "Is there a reason you are saying all of this? Are you afraid that we'll turn our backs on you because of what happens at Aubermasse?"

"I'm afraid I won't be able to stop myself from becoming my father," Ava said, barely above a whisper, "he started like me... He was not meant to be the heir. He hated it."

"You know that for a fact?" Theo asked.

"No, but that is what he keeps saying. Says he never wanted it, he hated what the role called for when he started," Ava shook her head.

"For all you know, he always wanted it and he pushed his brother out. This could be pure manipulation."

"And if he is telling the truth?"

"Your father doesn't matter in this. You won't become him just because he took that path," Theo assured her.

"But I am like him! I can see how we are similar."

"You are a Vaith, Red. This has been in your blood for generations upon generations. Of course, you are going to have similar tendencies to the people that made you but that doesn't mean their destiny is also yours," Theo put a hand on Ava's hip, "Is the way you are treating Cameron the only thing that is bringing this up?"

"No. I do the trials. I've taken to fighting with my sisters, especially Penelope, more often. I'm terribly demanding. And I am sure there is more," she divulged.

"And does any of it feel like you? Do you enjoy it?"

"Some of it feels like an act I put on, the one I need to have to keep moving forward. Others feel like me, like with Penelope and Cameron. In those conversations, I am not in control of my words but they are coming from me..." Ava finally sat down on the bed and put her head on Theo's shoulder, "I never enjoy any of it. I deeply regret every action I take here."

"I will say, I get where you are coming from with Penelope," Theo tried to lighten the mood but Ava didn't smile. Theo took the hint and continued, "My only advice on any of this is to straighten out your relationship with Cam. It seems to me that it's hurting both of you and it also seems it's the only thing you have control over."

"Sage advice, General," Ava rolled her eyes a bit.

"Turning the anger at me now, are we?" Theo pulled her shoulder away and made Ava face her, "You aren't a monster and you are more than just a Vaith."

Ava stared at her for a moment before looking away but Theo didn't take her eyes off the noble.

"They found a way to secure me an heir," Ava walked to the nook again, pulling over her cup and pouring more wine into it. She kept her back to Theo, "I thought I would have lengths before then... I was hoping I could keep pushing it off."

Theo had been rendered silent. Ava figured the next words out of her mouth would be some form of follow up so she got ahead of it.

"Killian's former lover is pregnant. She doesn't want the child, she wants us to take care of it. Says we can give it a better life," Ava answered the invisible question.

"She's as good as dead as soon as she gives birth," Theo said.

"No. I made my father promise. She will be given safe passage wherever she wants. Cameron says she wants to go to Niveal," Ava brought the cup to her lips and took more than a few sips, still not facing Theo.

The cup was almost empty by the time she put it down. Finally, she walked back to the bed, wiping her mouth and looking over at the person waiting for her.

"So, what? Your family is supporting her until she gives birth then, they'll give her gold and let her be on her way," Theo assumed.

"That's what my father said. She's here now. She has Grant's old floor. I haven't been to see her since she arrived," Ava sat down but kept her gaze averted, "I'm having a hard time dealing with it, Theo."

"With what, exactly?"

"Everything! It's why I keep getting so upset at Cameron. How can he be so accepting and willing to jump into this idea of a fake child?" Ava could feel the anger rising in her gut and he wasn't even in the room.

"What is the core of the issue though? Cam is happy, I get why you are not but I also do not understand why it's a problem that he is. So, I don't think it's about Cam not being on the same page as you," Theo called her on it.

She was right. Ava knew the issue. The debate in her head had been keeping her up at night. The center of all of her hesitation and anxiety surrounding having an heir.

"If I mother this baby, it's the wrong choice. If I don't, it's also the wrong choice. What happens after the revolution, when the need to pretend is over? My father and mother don't understand my hesitation with it. They think I am being stubborn. They think I am scared because I have no motherly instinct. And it's true, I don't. I have never even held a newborn before! But the core of it is that the future is an unknown and all this child does is throw all of that unknown into further chaos."

Ava was met with silence after baring her soul. It had been building up inside her for cycles and she hadn't fully been able to verbalize her issues until then. She would have expected to be met with some sort of acknowledgment but Theo was quiet.

"Please say something. Make me not feel guilty for not immediately hopping on the opportunity to raise a child," Ava rubbed her palms over her robe, sweat had begun to form, "Make me feel less selfish than I do for thinking about my future in all of this."

Theo shook her head, mouth open trying to find the words. Ava looked at her expectantly.

"I don't think I've ever been this much at a loss for what to say or do. I have nothing to advise..." Theo frowned, putting her hand on Ava's thigh, "You shouldn't feel guilty."

"There's something else. What aren't you saying?" Ava put her hand over Theo's.

"You know how I feel about children. But I also know they require love and nurturing," Theo frowned and took Ava's hand, "don't hate me for saying this, but I think you need to provide some of that. I am not saying you need to mother them, but you cannot ignore them either."

"They'll have Cam and a legion of nurses."

"Sure they will," Theo acknowledged.

"But?"

"There are a lot of ifs. But let's assume this doesn't get done in a few lengths, the kid will grow up and start to understand the world around it. They will expect a mother to love them, and when you don't it might cause issues. For them and you. They might feel unloved by their mother, whether or not you are their biological parent they have been told you are," Theo theorized, "for the sake of the child, I think you should provide some level of care. I am not saying you need to be the sole person in charge of them but you cannot fully abandon them either."

Ava was shaking her head as Theo spoke. It wasn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted justifications. She wanted Theo to tell her how unfair it was to her and that she was right in not wanting anything to do with the one they would call her heir. She couldn't just listen without rebuttal.

"Say the war doesn't just end in a matter of time and once it comes to a close, the child has grown to a point where they have lived a large chunk of their conscious life operating under the assumption that I am their mother. And if I play along, they grow attached. What happens when it's all over then? I end up with a child I never wanted," Ava shot back, "And I know that makes me seem so cruel, but I can't help but imagine that scenario every time the child or the mother or anything related to my heir comes up."

"It doesn't make you seem cruel. Not to me," Theo assured her, "but your feelings don't excuse you from what's right, even if you did not ask for it. And it also does not make Cameron deserving of wrongful treatment just because he is excited. He has reacted to his situation one way, and he is allowed to want to embrace it."

"You don't have to tell me that, I know," Ava crossed her arms.

Theo smiled and shook her head, "I don't know how I never caught onto you being a noble with that attitude you have."

"Are you saying I'm entitled?"

"Did I say that?" Theo challenged, a smile still on her face.

Ava knew it was an attempt to draw her out of her dark cloud and it worked on some level. She rolled her eyes and let Theo snake an arm around her waist as they sat cuddled close.

"Even if the war starts and ends in one sun, who am I going to give the child to?" Ava looked over at Theo, "All this time and I never even thought of that. No matter what, I might end up with a baby anyway."

"I think you are catastrophizing," Theo said, in a gentle tone. She wasn't teasing or making it seem like Ava was ridiculous for spiraling. But the reminder that she was in her head was clear, "but in the case that you are not, I will help bear the burden of a child if I'm still around."

"You will be around," Ava snapped, reaching out and squeezing Theo's cheek slightly, "never say that again."

"Yes, your highness," Theo smiled through squished cheeks.

"It sounds like you are once again telling me I should do something I don't want to," she dropped her hand.

"You may not be the child's mother, but you are their aunt if that is worth anything."

"They are Killian's offspring," Ava reminded, "you hate children and yet you would take in his child as your own?"

"If it came to that, aye," Theo laughed a bit and motioned around, "I would do anything for you, exal. I'm in fucking Aubermasse right now."

That managed to get a smile back on Ava's face but the weight of her future was felt by her slightly furrowed brows. Theo took her hand and squeezed it again, "And if we want to level the playing field of fucked up thoughts, in the event that none of this works out, this child would be another opportunity in the next generation to take it all down."

"I don't wish this on anyone," Ava put solemnly, "I would succumb to motherhood over putting anyone else in this position."

"How can you believe you are a monster when you say things like that? You gain no joy or any sort of fulfillment from this and you just confirmed that fact again," Theo tried to console her, Ava leaned forward, dropping her head against Theo's shoulder as a hand rubbed her back, "you've been doing a lot. You have not been able to see the fruits of your efforts yet but once that happens you will see all that you've worked toward."

"It feels like nothing," Ava repeated a concern she had earlier in the night.

"I know... I know that" Theo acknowledged, "but I am not just being dramatic when I say I think you give us a fighting shot."

Ava wasn't crying, but her throat was tight at the words. She pushed them onto the bed from where they were sitting, forcing Theo's arms around her waist as they fell backward. All Ava could do was let out a soft sigh before she felt Theo's lips on her forehead.

"Theo," Ava said softly, reaching up and placing her hand on Theo's cheek, "I don't know that I have it in me to do anything physical tonight."

She shrugged in response, a grin on her face, "Even if this is all I ever get from you until the end of time, I would be fulfilled."

Ava dropped her hand with a sigh. Instead of taking the tender statement at face value, she pushed. It couldn't be possible. Theo had to be saying things just to get a reaction at that point. She was a feared captain, recently promoted to navy general, had more gold than she could ever hope to spend, and had the qualities of a perfect partner and yet she had willingly chosen Ava. More than once. And followed up treacherous journeys with sweet nothings and no expectations.

Ava could give Theo nothing in return, not even a promise that they could lay with each other when they crossed paths. It was too much for anyone. The fear it wouldn't be enough and Theo would not be there when the war ended entered her chest.

"Is this going to be enough for you? A few stolen moments with cycles in between where we know nothing of each other?"

"If I was forced to travel all of the oceans in Baethos just to be able to see you for one second, I would sail the whole world 60 times over just to be able to see you for a minute," Theo confessed, "if I got caught right now and tortured to death over this visit, it would have been worth the evening we have gotten together."

"Alright. I get it," Ava laughed a bit.

"I don't think you do, Ava," Theo said, using a name she rarely did. She pushed the hair out of Ava's face and placed a hand on her jaw, "Present me with a hundred scenarios where the consequence of seeing you would cost me everything and I still choose you every time."

"You say things like that and expect me to simply recover in your absence? Those words will bounce around in my head for cycles now."

"And hopefully you remember them if you ever get to a point where you are questioning whether or not I will still want you and love you after the revolution ends," Theo replied.

Instead of continuing to fight Theo on everything she said, she leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her cheek. She sat up and pushed Theo's shoulders to the bed, forcing her to lay flush to it. Ava laid back down too, head on Theo's chest and arm draped over her stomach.

"I need some more of your advice, Captain," Ava said and looked up at Theo, "When I leave the estate for reclassification, should O come with me?"

She saw Theo raise her eyebrow as she kept her gaze up on the ceiling, scanning the details and motifs around the room, "Thought you brought her everywhere. You don't want her to come with you?"

"I do want her to. That's the issue. She was meant to stay here but we've debated that. I want to bring her along, she wants to come but neither of us can make the firm assertion that it would be better off if she did come along."

"Then it sounds like she shouldn't come?" Theo offered and looked down.

"But I want her too," Ava pouted out her bottom lip.

She laughed in response, "Well, walk me through your debate then. What is at stake?"

"Well, Oceane has not exactly gotten much from her work even though she is always doing it. She's made herself at home with the staff here but she hasn't learned anything that could be super useful for the revolution. And if she stayed here to chase those secrets, she would be left vulnerable without me," Ava almost shuddered at her words, Oceane's safety had always been something she was paranoid about, "What if her prodding gets her in trouble or my father is just waiting for me to go before he kills her? With me, she could keep me company, be safe, and spy around for me while I go off to business. But she would potentially miss something at the estate."

"Is Viv coming with you?" Theo asked.

"Not sure yet. Most likely. She rarely stays back if I leave Aubermasse," Ava answered, "Why does that matter?"

"If Viv comes, she can do all your spying duties. No need for Oceane. If she doesn't come, Oceane would have a good role on the journey. One person needs to stay back to watch over the estate. Maybe allies come out of the woodwork when the Vaiths have left the estate? Or, perhaps some secrets come to light when the head of the house is absent. And one person needs to go with you, you were right when you said it's a good time to snoop," Theo laid out her thoughts.

"Oceane's safety?" Ava reminded.

"Your father won't be here. Minimizes risk," Theo shrugged.

"Aye, and my mother has taken a liking to her so she will be fine on that front," Ava scoffed a bit and buried half her face in Theo's chest, "How are you so good at strategy? I wish it came as easily to me as it does to you."

"I think it comes to you plenty easy," Theo chuckled and pushed some of Ava's hair off her forehead and leaned forward to place a kiss there, "I didn't tell you anything you hadn't already figured out. You undersell yourself. I have seen you in action Avery Vaith. You are cunning when you want to be, without even realizing it. I also think you let your personal feelings on the matter prevent you from finalizing plans around the most strategic of your options."

"I would argue you do the same thing."

"I do. And I shouldn't," Theo laughed and Ava cracked a smile.

"I feel like I'm just bumbling through everything. I'm not actually making any major impact," Ava admitted.

"I've learned that having power means a lot of small, insignificant decisions before you ever get to one that is big," Theo provided.

Ava laughed and pulled herself away from Theo, sitting up, "You should write these down. Publish a book with your timeless advice."

"Captain, general, author," Theo shrugged and also sat up, watching Ava inch out of the bed, "I don't see why not. It's got a nice ring to it."

"The unfortunate thing is, I believe people would travel far and wide to find a copy of that," Ava walked back to the nook, pulling over their snacks back onto the tray and bringing them over to her nightstand.

"You find my hypothetical success unfortunate?" Theo raised an eyebrow, "I didn't know you were awaiting my downfall, exal."

"It's unfortunate because it would go to your head," Ava teased and poured them some more wine before sitting back on the bed and handing Theo a glass.

"I'm perfectly down to earth, thank you," Theo took a sip and then licked her lips, "I thought you once said you didn't get a floor all to yourself?"

"This is new. It used to be Ulises' room," Ava said then shrugged, "or, it used to be his floor I suppose."

"I don't know how I feel about laying in the bed of my torturer," Theo teased, a smile on her face.

"I've replaced almost everything. The bed included," Ava shook her head, a frown instead of a smile, "I'm sorry."

"For this being Ulises' room? I don't mind, Red. I was fucking around," Theo put her wine down.

"No, I'm sorry for what he did."

"A bit of knife work and psychological abuse is nothing I hadn't been trained for," Theo brushed it off and Ava looked away, "why does it bother you if it doesn't bother me?"

"Because he hurt you, badly. And that psychological abuse? It's what pushed you to send me back home. He fundamentally fucked both of our lives up and you always brush it off like it was nothing," Ava looked back over, mist springing up in her eyes once again, "I know it isn't my place to get upset with how you cope. But I think he did more than you are saying he did."

"I know," Theo admitted, slowly nodding, "I know and I try not to think about it too much."

"I shouldn't have brought it up," Ava apologized and wiped away a few tears in her waterline.

"But you're right, it did also affect you differently. I'm sorry for being so flippant about it," Theo acknowledged.

Ava gave her a tight nod of her head, indicating she had been forgiven. Theo stood up and walked over to her bag, pulling out a stack of letters.

"I hope you don't mind me switching the subject but before I forget, I wanted to give you the letters I told you about," Theo flipped through them and pulled one out then handed the rest to Ava.

Ava crawled over the bed, closer to where Theo had walked to, and snatched the letters, a wide grin on her face and any tears forgotten, "What's that one? Is it for me?"

Ava pointed to the one that Theo was putting back in her bag.

"No. It's for me. Viv gave it to me," Theo said.

"Viv?" Ava's tone was unhappy, "Why would Viv give you a letter?"

"It's her final wishes. Just in case anything happens to her. She wanted me to make sure I take care of it for her if she dies during the revolution," Theo filled her in on the details as much as she could. She knew nothing else about it.

"Can I see it?" Ava held out her hand.

"You can't. Not even I'm allowed to open it until that happens," Theo said.

"Hm," Ava narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, "I'm not sure I like that too much. Why was Viv talking to you?"

"Because we were walking together for the better part of an hour," Theo laughed at the reaction, "and we didn't actually talk all that much. It was mostly spent in silence."

"Except for the moment that she handed you her will," Ava put the letters aside and patted the spot on the bed next to her.

"Pretty much," Theo got back into the bed and leaned back against her mountain of pillows, "am I sensing jealousy?"

"I haven't tried to hide it," Ava retorted.

Theo laughed at her, "You're the worried one but I'm the one that should be keeping an eye out. You've spent a length here with her. And some of that, you got to know each other very well."

"Aye, but I'm not the one she's in love with," Ava accused then closed her eyes, "sorry, I should not have said that. That wasn't fair of me to say on her behalf."

"Are you implying Vivexa is in love with me?" Theo laughed, "Viv is not capable of that, Red. She just wants what she can't have."

"I don't know Theo, I think you are underestimating her," Ava said, not trying too hard to dismiss Theo's notion that Viv had no feelings for her. The jealousy took over and she justified it as not wanting to spread Viv's business.

"And even if I am, you have nothing to worry about," Theo leaned forward and kissed her. Ava instantly broke down from the tenseness she felt in her shoulders. Theo was not phased or worried and Ava quickly realized Viv was not a factor. She would never be. It was too soon before Theo was pulling away again, "I like being the plaything of a jealous noble. Viv can't offer me that."

"Ass," Ava laughed and pushed Theo away by her chest then picked up the letters, "and these are all mine?"

"Aye, the lot of them," Theo pointed to the one on top, "Mallory's is that top one. Like I said before she arrived safely."

"And how is she? Is she adjusting?"

"I think she's alright. Right before I left I found out she's staying with Cooker and Agnes at their place."

"Really?" Ava laughed as she flipped through a few more.

"I asked Xyra about it and she said Agnes is the one that invited her."

"That's odd. Is there anything going on there?"

"No, I'm sure it's all innocent and we all have dirty and untrusting minds," Theo hummed, laying back down again, hands behind her head, "Xyra made sure I would let you know that she was the first person to hand me a letter. The others are the ones that followed."

Ava's smile was even wider than when she had first seen the stack of letters. The giddy energy was emanating from her.

"Who is this from?" Ava held up one that had no name written on it.

Theo tilted her head, "Fortune's. I don't know why she wouldn't put her name on it."

Ava put her pile aside and placed Xyra's first then put Tuni's right under it, "You haven't told me much about Tuni. The only thing you've mentioned is that she and Morgana are good now. And that they have the best house on the island."

"She wanted me to relay how sorry she is about everything. She's been torn up about it all," Theo made due on her promise.

"Why?" Ava didn't understand where it was coming from.

"Because she encouraged me to say no to endorsing you on Corinpse. She landed you in jail, according to her. She says she is sorry. And she misses you. And a bunch of other stuff. She means it," Theo advocated on her behalf.

Ava frowned, "Please, please tell her it's alright. Tell her I miss her greatly," Ava looked at her desk then back at Theo, "Do you think I will have time to write them back?"

"It's selfish of me but I want you for myself. No one else is braving Aubermasse, they can just get stories of you that I bring back," Theo tried to dissuade her with a convincing smile on her face. She reached over next to her and rubbed the bed, inviting her to come wrap up in her arms.

"I will write the whole crew one big letter and make special mentions to people in that," Ava started to get up but Theo reached out and stopped her.

"I can accept that compromise but you have to spend more time with me first," Theo offered and Ava was more than happy to accept it.

She pulled herself over and fell back on the bed, "Did you read the journal about your parents?"

Theo nodded, "Aye. I did."

"And?"

Theo was quiet for a few seconds but there was a soft smile on her face, "Thank you for finding it for me. It answered a lot of my questions. Even ones I didn't know I had."

"Like?"

Theo shook her head, "How about you just read it for yourself? I brought it back to leave with you."

"Really? Why?" Ava sat up on her elbow and turned to look at Theo.

"I want to share it with you. I don't know if I can do that verbally without having a hard time so the easiest way to do that is to let you read the journal. It's Vaith property anyway," Theo chuckled, "you don't want it?"

"Of course I do!" Ava laid back down with an excited squeal, "You're spoiling me."

Theo laughed from her belly, "Do you think I deserve something in return?"

Ava looked up to see Theo pursing her lips slightly and she obliged, her hand finding the back of Theo's neck and bringing their lips together. Ava let the kiss linger for a bit, not pulling away first. Theo did, flipping over and holding herself up so she was hovering over Ava. She reached over and put a hand on Theo's upper arm.

"These muscles weren't here in Niveal," Ava looked up at Theo with a raised eyebrow, "have you been training?"

"Had to make up for lost time. Been shit at keeping up with a regimen the past length between travel and business and recovery time after Corinspe," Theo bent down slightly to place kisses down Ava's neck, light and without any intention behind it, "glad you noticed. I've been doing fuck all except training the whole way over here."

"You overdoing it?"

"No. I need my endurance back before I have to train against Morgana when I get back to the island. I'm only doing what is necessary to beat her ass when I get back," Theo laughed, "you think I have a fighting chance?"

"I would consider putting my money on you to win," Ava reached up and pressed her fingers into Theo's shoulders, firm muscles giving resistance, "I would still bet on Mor, but I would consider backing you for a moment."

"How generous," Theo kissed her again.

A door in the room opened and the crunching of an apple echoed around the room. Theo froze for a second before turning her head to where the noise came from. Vivexa.

"Why were you waiting in my visitor's room?" Ava shook her head and Theo pushed herself off Ava, sitting up on the bed instead.

"No, no, please, keep it going. Maybe I can join. I'm sure that would be a fun time," Viv smirked, walking forward.

"Fuck off. Give us the night, please," Ava requested.

"The night? No, Princess. We have a pattern. A whole night is not a part of the pattern."

"I told Arnelo to lock all the doors and leave us. Why were you allowed in?"

"He answers to me, Avery, not you. I forced him to let me stay. There is a schedule to keep," Viv took another bite of her apple.

"I'm not letting her leave yet," Ava argued back, getting out of bed.

"This was a warning. You are parting ways soon. Say your goodbyes," Viv pointed between the two of them.

"No!" Ava walked over and began pushing her toward the door, "I will not be commanded by you on an imaginary schedule."

Viv dug in, not letting herself get moved too far back, "It is not an imaginary schedule. It is the schedule we have kept this whole time we've been shipping in whores."

"One night out of the ordinary will not raise too many flags. I can just say we fell asleep if anyone questions, which they won't," Ava put more an effort into getting Viv out, pushing against her with her shoulder.

Viv was able to easily keep her ground and also turn around to grip both of Ava's shoulders, digging her thumbs slightly in to keep Ava from fighting too much against her, "I cannot believe we are having to have this conversation again. You get caught, I get fucked. I am not allowing you to lounge in each other's presence at the risk of getting your little scheme with the revolution exposed."

Theo had gotten out of bed and had walked to the feuding pair, putting her arm in between them but not making any rash movements, "I would take my hands off her if I was you, Vex."

Viv removed her hands, "You cannot stay."

"I understand that. Give us just a little bit longer."

Viv stared at her for a bit, her mouth turned down in slight disgust, or something else that Theo couldn't quite tell. She shook off Ava's assault and straightened her coat, "Has business been discussed?"

"Not all of it," Theo lied, she just wanted to buy them a little bit more time.

"Fine. Wrap it up. I'll give you a half hour," Viv gave up the fight.

"Two hours," Ava interjected.

"One. Be ready to go when I get back," Viv commanded and Ava finally gave in with a nod.

There was nothing else said until Viv left the room, going back into the visitor's room and closing the door behind her.

"Why did you give in so easily? She answers to me. She is in no position to reject my requests," Ava turned to Theo.

"Red, don't piss her off. You don't need that. We have an hour. I know it's not enough but neither is a whole cycle. I will be back soon," Theo advised, shooting her an empathetic smile. It was also a silent plea to listen and be calm, "and if you reestablish the pattern to accommodate for longer visits, she won't be able to hold anything over us."

"Fine. Then we have to make our time worth it," Ava turned to Theo, pulling herself close and wrapping her arms around Theo's neck, pulling her down for a kiss. There was passion behind it, a difference from the ones they had shared over the past hour. The same intensity that Ava had felt in the bath was back. It was almost debilitating how much she needed Theo. But she forced herself to pull away.

She walked them back to the bed and laid back on it, pulling Theo over her. Theo matched her energy but when Ava wrapped her legs around Theo's waist and pulled her in closer, Theo pulled her face away.

"I thought you said no, love," Theo whispered.

"I am highly emotional and speaking out of my ass depending on my dominant emotion. Right now, it's desperation. I want to memorize you," Ava looked up at her with pleading eyes.

"Exal, I don't want you to regret-"

"I can never regret anything with you. I would follow you off a fucking cliff and not hold a single regret," Ava cupped her face, inspired by Theo's earlier words, "I'm sure if you are."

"Of course I am," Theo leaned forward for a kiss but Ava moved her head slightly, giving her cheek instead.

"Are you sure? We always do the things I want. I feel like I just push and pull us to what I feel like in the moment," Ava observed.

"I wouldn't do any of these things if I did not want to," Theo assured her, kissing down her neck and pulling Ava's robe open, "the only outstanding question is your letter. You won't have time."

"Fuck the letter," Ava pulled Theo back down.

"And we go over our plans," Theo mumbled in between kisses, "for seeing each other next."

"I'll walk with you through the tunnels. It's nothing Viv can't hear. We can do all of that there. Please, Theo. I don't know the next time I will see you. Shut up and make our time worth it," Ava demanded, letting her nobility show.

She laughed, "Lady Vaith, you will be the death of me."

—------

Seven cycles later

"My lady," Arnelo grabbed her shoulder gently, pulling her onto her back, "please, wake up."

"Fuck off, please," Ava half cried, pulling the pillow over her face, "it's not even morning yet."

"It is dawn," he whispered and Ava could barely make it out through the thick barrier covering her ears, "your father. He has called for you."

Ava pulled the pillow off her face and turned to look at Arnelo, "Why?"

"I am not sure. The messenger did not say," he stepped back to allow her room.

Ava got up and walked to her wardrobe, pulling on a heavy coat to handle to cold of the morning halls, before the estate warmed up, "Is he in his chambers?"

"The gardens."

"The gardens?" Ava scoffed, walking over to her window and pulling the curtains back.

The sun was threatening to rise but not quite breaking the sky yet. It was too fucking early. Ava wanted to yell at her father. He had insisted on early mornings but he had promised her a break. They had been going to bed late and waking up at sunrise since she had left home before reclassification.

She had barely a moment's rest since then.

The reclassification had gone in their favor as predicted. Ava thought cycles of travel around Elox tallying votes, attending the naming of the Council, meeting with the Council for the first time, and finally being introduced to the seven would have bought her a break. She had been promised that. It had been two suns of pure rest.

Only two suns.

That was not what had been agreed upon. She had been granted a cycle of being able to wake up three hours past dawn. Her father would hear about it, and then she would hop right back into bed until it had been three hours since dawn. Before leaving, she scanned the gardens outside her window. She could spot him, sitting at the pond. She wished she could push him in without repercussions, but she wasn't so lucky.

The walk to the gardens would cool her down. She pulled away from her window and walked toward the door, "Stay here, Arnelo. I can see him from here and he has guards with him. No need to leave your station."

"Yes, my lady," Arnelo opened the door for her.

She stepped out, giving him a nod. It was colder than she had expected. They had been having an awful winter. Longer than normal too. She wrapped her coat tighter around her, then crossed her arms. The hallway echoed under her feet and she took her time walking down the stairs. Halfway down, she could make out the cries of an infant. Normally, she would have avoided checking in – especially when it was so early. But she wanted to make her father wait.

It was cold and he was starting to be visibly affected by the temperatures. His ability to regulate his body heat had begun to slip. Ava didn't know that it meant he was dying, there was still not much of a sign of that, but he was getting older. Yet, she didn't care about keeping him out there. She walked to the floor below her, following the rhythmic wailing. The baby wasn't in a room, he was out in the hall being bounced in Cameron's arms.

"What are you doing down here? It's the night nurse's shift," Ava asked, walking closer.

"I slept down here last night and couldn't just let him cry on his own," Cameron didn't look up.

"You know the rules," Ava raised an eyebrow. She came up next to him and put her hand on the middle of his back, looking down at the bundled baby. It was shrieking more than crying but he often did that right before sleeping for a few hours, "where is the nurse?"

"I sent her away to get bedding for him because the other one is too scratchy for him. They know it and still put it on his crib," Cameron scolded in a harsh whisper.

"And when she left, you snuck into his room and picked him up even though you have been expressly forbidden? He is supposed to cry it out. You aren't supposed to interfere in his sleeping," Ava reminded.

"What are you going to do? Tell on me?" Cameron looked over at her.

"No," Ava laughed and squeezed his arm, "when he goes to sleep, make sure you do too."

"I know," Cameron nodded then held his arms up slightly so she could see the baby more clearly, "do you want to hold him?"

"Not right now. I have to go meet my father," Ava took a step back with a smile, "maybe later."

"You always say that," Cameron slightly turned away from her as he bounced his arms again.

"Cam-"

"I get it. It's fine," he glanced over with a slight smile, "I thought your father was giving you more time to sleep."

"So did I," Ava shook her head, "I will see you at dinner. Remember, you have to greet Ulises' family in the aftermorning. They are coming for court."

"I have my outfit already laid out," Cameron assured her.

She just laughed in response and began walking back to the stairs. Slowly, she walked to the exit of the estate leading to the gardens. It had rained overnight, a drizzle but she could feel her slippers get wet. Which was her fault given that she wore slippers to a place full of grass when dew was on every surface – with or without rain. Nothing had been going to plan.

It was a march by the time she arrived at her father, her attempt to cool off had failed.

"You promised I would have plenty of time for resting and recovering when we got back. This does not fucking look like rest and recovery," Ava snapped, "why couldn't you wait until I woke up on my own?"

He turned to look at her, unimpressed by the outburst. He looked to his guard and waved him off with the slightest flick of his hand. He got up without answering her probe for an explanation. Continuing in silence, he led them to the edge of the pond. It was a unique feature of the garden, it looked over a precipice down into the rest of the gardens. They rarely frequented that area.

He stood next to her but looked toward the horizon, where the sun was slowly rising and injecting the sky with color.

"The rebels have come out of the woodwork. They have shut down our navy building operations in The Twins," he turned his head, pausing until Ava met his gaze but she didn't do so.

Her heartbeat began to pick up. The last time she had talked to Theo, it had been simply an idea she had come up with. The only thing she could think of. Their rendezvous after the reclassification had not happened. Timing did not align and Ava could only stay in Aubermasse for one night before leaving once again. She had not heard anything but it had been about time.

She began to shake her head then looked up at him, "What does this mean?"

"There is no time for rest. Two suns will have to be enough," he crossed his hands in front of him and nodded his head once, slowly, "the war has started."