It's a blur that feels like an unavoidable abyss. I feel heavy, as if dragged through time that I can't get a grip on. I want to awake myself so hard.

However, I'm stuck between something intangible. There is someone here with me, in my dreams, I can feel their presence but I'm uncertain if they are a friend or a foe.

"Don't be afraid of me," that voice, where have I heard it?

"You know who I am." It says, I think hard on where I have heard this voice. I can't see them but I can feel them here right next to me.

"Is it Midas?" I ask.

"No, not quite."

"You're his Lycan?" I ask again, he doesn't disagree with me which then makes me feel at ease.

"Why isn't Midas communicating with me?"

"Because Midas doesn't know that Lycans can do many things without their skin knowing."

I stay silent and ponder on many things that have happened to me in the past few days since the ambush. I just couldn't understand the life of me why he won't kill me. He doesn't want me at all.

"That's not true," Midas's Lycan comments.

"Are you reading my most inner thoughts?"

"I am in your inner thoughts Winter and he doesn't want to kill you, in fact he is torn."

"Torn of what?" I ask, I keep asking and he answers but they're not answers I want.

"He's torn between two worlds that you don't understand as of yet, but you will soon. When the day comes when your eyes are open to the truth; don't run from him, from us." For some odd reason, I can feel his Lycan so close that it feels he's laying his muzzle on my shoulder.

"He's a monster, look what he has done to me." Mentally, I felt drained just being around Midas. I feel anxious and alert, I don't know when I will ever feel at ease with a man who has killed off the people I once knew as home.

"Maybe that's exactly who you need Winter."

"What I need is Ejnar, and he is now gone... because of me." My mind becomes blank, I wake up with my eyes straining to see clearly and my body screaming at the aches and pains that linger on between my muscles.

I turn to see the tall figure that stands before me and there he is, Midas standing in front of me, unaware that his Lycan spoke to me.

"Ejnar..." I cry out, my heart feels heavy and my mind becomes flushed if guilty thoughts that I have failed the pup. I can't help but stare Midas with this simmering hatred that builds and rots inside of me. It helps no one to feel this way but I can't help it.

"He's gone isn't he?" I ask him but he doesn't speak. I know the answer but I just want to hear something different. A possibility that it was all just a dream.

"I don't have to tell you Winter." An exhale of breath is let go, it happened and there's no going back. The sound of my stomach grumbles; it had been so long since I thought about food that I have neglected myself of it.

"You need to feed, I have caribou for you—"

"I don't want any." I'm being stubborn, I merely can't stand to eat without this guilt festering inside of me. Something I'm sure he doesn't understand.

"You need to eat, we have to leave soon."

"To where?"

"Home." I sigh loudly, just annoyed at the thought arriving to his home, his people, his whole being that I am stuck with. I wonder why could he just have left me behind. It would have been easier if him to not have to deal with me.

"Why didn't you leave me there?" I ask, this man doesn't love me, he only wants to use me as a baby maker for him. He needs an heir surely he could find another woman willing to birth little monsters for him.

"If I wanted you to die, I would have done it the moment I got a whiff of your scent."

"Well if you wanted me dead, and I can arrange for that to happen, bastard." I whisper underneath my breathe. I'm annoyed but I'm not an idiot to try to antagonize this man.

*

*

"Let's go." We left the cabin behind to set foot towards the destination we could have been by now if it weren't for the ambush that hit us hard.

We left in the night when it was dark enough to not be seen by any other creature that might want to chew us apart. We travel by foot since we don't have horses to feed across the earthy lands. However, Midas is confident to cross the threshold as it seems he knows these lands intimately.

He turns to face me and bundle me tightly with warm animal fur to cover my body. But all it does is weigh me down and makes me feel all stuffed inside. When he turns, I take half of the coverings off and put them away in the satchel he's carrying on his back. I walk alongside him and I can tell he is slightly perturbed that I don't do what he wants me to do.

He doesn't say anything, he lets me be for now. When the view of the fiery trail of red trees come in sight, the leaves continue to fall that leave the ground full of ashes.

"Keep your head down Winter, don't let the leaves touch your skin." He says, I get closer to his side because I don't want to be taken away like last time. My throat feels dry just remembering the sight of Ejnar's body.

"You mean these leaves?" To take the image away from my mind. I decide to touch the leaves just to feel them burn my skin. As a form of punishment that I failed as a mother to protect her pup.

"What the hell Winter!" He growls when he sees the leaves touch my skin. Unfortunately, I felt nothing just as I don't feel the cold. My body feels nothing from theses conditions but my heart, it feels everything.

"It doesn't burn."

"You're not a wolf." He says which startled me, how can I not be a wolf?

"What's makes you say that?" I ask, I'm curious to know his answer. I know there is some part of me that is abnormal. Hell, everything I do is abnormal. But I know that I am still a wolf, otherwise why would I be mates to a Lycan? But then again, has a she-wolf ever been a soulmate to a Lycan beast?

"I have a feeling," is all he says. I'm left feeling unsatisfied but I can't do much in terms of searching for answers. The less answers I receive the more questions I get. Although, there is still one question I do need an answer now.

"Am I still going to be raped in front of your pack?" I need to know, I know how their savagery is like. They take their women in front of other men as a way to prove they can conquer the woman that is beneath them. It is the only way to prove their mate is worthy of being a Luna in their world because they have no soulmates. However, very few survive the night, because these men don't fuck their mates in their human form.

Midas stays quiet throughout the journey, he doesn't say anything but I know. I know he will have to do it. Either way, he's already fucked me, how is he going to prove my virginity is intact when he failed to abstain himself from me.

As the journey continues through the long road of the fiery trees. Light is shone at the end of the tunnel and I can see. A world huge that is hidden from outsiders. Many families are here, children are playing in the fields, splashing around the crystal clear lakes. Women coming in from other openings that hold their killings to be fed to the whole packs. Warrior men standing in several posting taking notice of every part of these massive lands. Two mountains either side of us forming a huge bowl protecting everyone from natural evil.

A world that is civilized that I didn't believe Midas could be. I turn to him showing my utter disbelief.

"Did you think of us all as monsters?"

"Based on your actions, I did."