Midas left me to do my bidding as I wanted. Although he suggested I get to know the pack, I need to know who I'm leading if I want to start feeling any semblance of normal.

The word normal seems odd to me now, it's been so long since I've felt like that. Midas and I are anything but normal. There is nothing normal of our situation. Yet I could see in his eyes, he's pleading, for what? I'm not sure nor do I want to find out.

My anger is still on the surface, my hands twitch with desire to rip his throat out and bathe in his blood. This feeling appears whenever he's awake. Yet, the beast, I can't hurt him. I kill Midas then I kill his beast who has done nothing but caress me in a way Midas could never.

I shake the murderous thoughts away and continue down a path towards the area where I notice women sitting in groups in butchering meat and fish. This surprises me as I would have thought the men in this pack would handle a grotesque job. Maybe Midas is right, I should get to know the pack a little better.

When I reach the area, blood and dried fish hits my nose like a rotten combination. How can the women sit here and stomach it.

"It helps to put a Sakura petal between your nostrils." I'm startled by another voice behind me. A woman with dark black hair smiles at me. She's not a Lycan nor a wolf, she's human. I didn't realize till now how big this pack is? What other creatures do we have, this thought makes me ponder even further that I must remember every single name and face if I want to be a good Luna.

"That sounds smart, your name?"

"Nina my Luna." She bows down, ungrateful nevertheless, she shows respect to my status.

"Nina, nice name. So is there anything I can do?" She gives me a look of bewilderment, why would a Luna want to kill, cut and skin animals.

"No my Luna, this job is certainly not for your hands. We wouldn't want you to exhaust yourself!" The look of concern makes me laugh just a little. I think the women care about me more than I realized. I kept praying every night for someone to help, and I'm sure these women could hear my cries whenever Midas had his way with me. But most are humans what could they do to stop a man from hurting what he owns.

The thought darkens my mood, ownership. Hah! As ever, I swear to my goddess, no one will ever own me, especially my soul. Midas will never own my soul. He can have this body because is only flesh. But my soul, it's what he wants, the ultimate binding of two soul mates.

Never.

"I think you'd be surprised to see my hands are just the same as yours." Maybe not as rough but I still have a few scars from sewing many things in my last pack. Coats were the most difficult to create.

"Well, if you say you can do this then who am I to stop you my Luna."

"Please, call me Winter." My answer sort of surprises Nina. A friendly warm smile softens her face and she leads me towards her group where they are skinning a couple of cod's.

"Hello my Luna!" All four women say in unison, the wolf inside me beams with pride at the women cutting away. Their job important as it feeds everyone in this pack.

I pay attention to how they skin the fish, instead of raking through the scales which causes a mess. They sharpen their knives and glide it underneath the scales in long strips, less time consuming and no mess.

"Hello everyone, what is your names?" A petite blonde woman with short hair stood up to introduce herself and the group.

"My name is Tamzin, this is Sheela, Hela, Francis, and Nika." I bowed my head to the women of the group. I sit beside Tamzin and begin to chat. The ladies were sweet, nice to be around. Sheela and Nika have mates while the rest have yet to find one. Or be chosen for some.

"Are any of you from different packs?" The group became eerily quiet besides the noise of their hands ripping into flesh and breaking bones.

"I know it is traumatizing to see ones pack be destroyed since werewolves are a tight knit community." She paused, seeming thoughtful of what her next words could be.

"But?" I persisted.

"The old Alpha, before Midas became official, he destroyed packs for the sale of growing his numbers. He didn't care whom he seized, it was simply power and the desire to create carnage around him." there's a faraway look in Nika's eyes. As if she remembers Midas's father coming to her pack to destroy what's left of her memories.

"It's as if he was preparing for a war that has yet to come. Hell, we think he's been using this excuse to create chaos where ever he goes." Hela exclaims.

"I remember what happened when Midas destroyed my pack. It was brutal." I still remember their screams, especially the children, the distinct smell of burning flesh.

"Your old Alpha was scum and deserved his end!" Sheela says while spitting the ground after mentioning my old alpha. To be honest, I have not really thought of him in so long. I've been in survival mode and I have yet to reflect what has truly changed in my life.

"What? No, Midas destroyed my pack without mercy!" I exclaimed, my anger rising to the surface.

"We mean no offense Luna,' Tamzin says, holding her hands in defense as to not offend me further, 'your old alpha was a terrible one, he began selling children, pups he pretended died as stillborns, into slavery to the black market and other enemy creatures."

This news shocked me was an understatement. Selling our pups into slavery? For what purpose? We had plentiful in our land, I helped to provide as much as I could. No one questioned why the pups never made it, it just happens. However, I look back, closely: the mothers, they had a glossed over look in their eyes, as if a piece of them died when their pups did. Or is it because they knew their pups didn't and they had no choice but to obey our alpha at the time?

"This doesn't make any sense to me? Why would Midas kill the rest of the children?" I remember distinctly he did that. I was told Lycans do not like competition to their own children from their mates who had previous ones.

"He had no choice in the matter, his father commanded him to kill the rest. Half of them were already promised to be sold off at a certain age if they didn't contribute to the pack. Most of the orders have official deals that even our pack can't interfere a transaction. Despite Midas not wanting to kill, he was still under his fathers orders. If you disobey a Lycan—" Tamzin exclaims but doesn't finish as I completed the rest of her sentences.

"Especially an alpha lycan, you lose your life, literally dying in front of others." The others nodded their heads. So the perception I had in my head wasn't of Midas. It was of Midas's father, he was a casualty in one of his fathers puppetry.

"But he still killed them under the guise that werewolf pups would be a threat to Lycan pups." All of the women shook their heads in disagreement to my statement.

"Not always, it's still possible. Before my soul mate was killed. We had a son, when Midas came to liberate us from my old alpha's tyranny, they killed all of the men. I lived in constant fear to the abuse I endured from all of the men's hands in my old pack. I met my current mate that day when he chose me and he accepted my son as his. It is still a choice Midas gives others if his father doesn't demand it of him." Sheela reveals.

"What does that even mean?" I ask, still confused.

"When a Lycan is given orders from their alpha, they are not only forced into it because it's either live and enact it or die on the spot. Well, the thoughts of the alpha is then internalized by the group commanded. Any evil or violent actions a Lycan commits under the alphas command is only bringing out the true desires of the alpha. It doesn't mean they want to kill the children, or hurt the packs. It may not be their true intentions at all. Sometimes, even a god can demand anything from Lycans. They are the Moon Goddess's shame, she abandoned them to the other celestials bidding. A fate truly worse than death, if you have no god, you can be used like a toy."

This new information honestly disturbs me, I question whether the times Midas was violent was even his own choice? No, he has hit me since becoming alpha. Hasn't he? It doesn't matter, the damage is done. I can't love him, but I can appreciate his Lycan for the time being until my end comes.

"Now that Midas is Alpha, things can finally change, in fact they have. With you as our Luna, especially who is born and earned this title. You have made life... peaceful for us." Sheela says, I know they mean it respectfully, but they don't know the truth behind our closed doors. Tamzin was going to speak again but she stays silent with a look of fear in her eyes. She's not staring at me, but behind me. I turn around to see Midas's father.

"The only thing that's changed is my son being Alpha. Even then, I see you have not marked him so his leadership will always be challenged." I instantly knew what he meant, without my mark to complete our union. Midas will always be under his fathers thumb, a cruel fate I can fix but I have no desire to mark him.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your presence here?" His smile falters from the tone of my voice. I don't look away from his eyes like the other women do. I stand up to my full height, I hold my head as if we are equals. Hell, I see him as someone beneath me, he is nothing to me is what I realize.

"Do you mind if we take a walk?" He holds his hand out and I agree but I don't take his hand. I wonder what bullshit will spill out of his mouth, I truly wonder.