“Seriously though, why?” I asked persistently since Himuro’s not even giving me a clear and definite answer.

All that’s he’s been giving me is smiles and chuckles and then just leans his head on the window and stare outside. I pouted without him looking and slumped on my seat like a toddler. I remember that I used to pull this tantrum whenever my parents don’t tell me where we’re going to, just like Himuro is doing right now. It frustrated me yet it made me excited at the same time. So, I waited (im) patiently until we reached to wherever we’re going.

A few hours passed as I noticed we were leaving town and into a rural area where only trees and forests where seen. Seeing those gigantic stumps given by Mother Nature, it occurred to me that this is the place where my parents used to take me before; the mountain park with giant trees. Slowly, my mouth gaped in shock. How did Himuro know this place?! He said he just came back from America this year – I mean last. Damn i forgot we already celebrated New Year!

But still…

The park is in a secluded area of Akita. A tourist – or a person who just came back here after a few years couldn’t possibly know this place themselves; unless he knows someone who’ve brought him here before? But who?

The bus came approaching the station as Himuro stood up, taking my hand in his. Even though I know this place more than him, it felt like he was the one guiding me where to go. When we got off the bus, Himuro pulled me with him as we started to walk by the sidewalk. As I look at the side, beautiful scenery of trees greeted my eyes making me gawk in admiration. It was so beautiful here…

So beautiful…

“Beautiful” Himuro says, glancing over to me. He smiled dreamily at me, stroking my long green hair in the process. “You fit in these types of places. Beautiful and natural” he kissed the top of my head, encircling his arms around me. I hugged him back, closing my eyes for a bit, capturing the moment.

“So, will you tell me why you brought me here?” I asked for the last time, hoping he’d answer me now.

He was silent before heaving a deep sigh, then gaze back to the topography in front of us. “Do you remember this place?” he returned a question. I blinked and stared at the environment around us. Raising my head up, admiring the tall trees above us, I smiled.

“It’s the place…” I started. “The last place I went to with my parents…” I say, a tear rolling down from my eye. Sniffing, I wiped it away and turned back to Himuro. “How did you know this place? Did Kensuke tell you?”

“No” he immediately returned, without looking at me. What? If Kensuke didn’t tell him, then who did? Only I, Kensuke and my parents were the only ones who knew this place in the family. “Someone – some people took me here…”

“People?” I pondered. “Who?”

Himuro glanced at me with a serious look on his face. “Your parents” he replied, catching me by surprise.

“What?” That’s fucking impossible. “My parents are dead” How can they even do that? They were dead way before I met Himuro!

“I know” Himuro closes his eyes, reopening them to stare at the ground. He didn’t want to look at me at the face. “But, they manage to take me here. In my dreams, at least” he told me.

I sighed. For a moment there I thought my parents resurrected to haunt Himuro and then take him to this place. But it’s really weird for him to dream about my parents. “So it’s all just a dream then” I looked up the sky again, joining Himuro’s side. “Me being with them again…” I mutter to myself with a bitter smile. Himuro heard it making him hug me again; tightly this time.

“It’s not” he says. But me being a pessimist, I had to counter that. “They’re dead. How are we going to be together?” I state, matter-of-factly.

 “They’re here with you; in your heart and in your mind. And whatever happens, nothing will change the fact that they love you, you love them. Even if they’re dead, that doesn’t mean they’re gone” he comforted me in the best way he can. Feeling that effort, I felt guilty for making him do it all the time, and I hated myself. I hated myself for always bringing everyone down because of my own issues. I always held Kensuke back and always made it hard for Mayu. And for everyone who cared about me… “Do you hate yourself again?” he suddenly asked. Damn, so accurate. “Hitomi” he grabbed me by my shoulders making me look into his intent eyes. “Don’t drag yourself down any further. If you want to make it easier for those who help you, push yourself up. Those hands who try to lift you up, they’re main goal is to put you back on your feet again. And for that to happen, you need to do something on your part. Stand up, rise to your feet…” he paused.

“And before I ask you to love me, I want you to love yourself first…”

“Hi-Himuro…” I was astonished by the words he told me. I can’t believe I was so selfish from the beginning. I kept on complaining on how Kensuke and Mayu always help like a little kid I am, when the truth is, they should be the ones who are to complain. But they never did.

I never heard any whine from them. Instead, they never gave up on me. They never got tired of pulling my hand while I crawl myself into a pit of misery.

Yumi… and Kaichou and even Himuro.

The people surrounding me were always there; ready to help at any moment yet I pitied myself too much.

“I’m so-” No, apologizing would only make it worse. In this situation, I should be careful in choosing the words to say, so… “Then, I won’t let those hands pull me anymore” I said, startling Himuro a bit. “I won’t hold their hand for them to pull me up; instead, I’ll push myself up and will hold their hands as we move forward together” I proclaimed, feeling determined that I’ll definitely do it.

 I’ll do it for the sake of the ones I love. And I’ll do it for myself.

Himuro smiled at me, before facing the trees again. “If that’s the case… yell it out loud, enough for your parents to hear it”

“Hmph, e-easy!” even though I said that, it’s still a bit nerve-racking and embarrassing. But whatever. I’ll show him.

“HEY MOM! DAD! You heard what I said! I’ll stand up on my own feet again! And won’t cry on the ground by myself anymore! I’ve got shoulders I can cry! I won’t shoulder the burden to myself; instead I’ll let them go for my friends to cry on my shoulder as well! I’ll be strong as my head and use that strength to destroy the walls I built around me! So you don’t need to visit Himuro’s dreams and take him to our family places anymore! What I need you to do is look forward for my dreams when I make them happen, you hear me?! And that dream is to live freely and happily with my love ones so it won’t take time for you to visit again!”

I was panting heavily after I shouted with all my might. I didn’t even rest my breath during that. I let it out in one go.

Himuro was clapping right beside me and then kissed me to lend some air. Closing my eyes, I kissed back, wrapping my arms around his neck and brushed my fingers through his black silky hair.

“Hitomi” Himuro pulled away, staring at me again. “Will you be my girlfriend?” a ball of happiness hit me as, for the first time, I cried because of joy.

“I-Idiot! Wh-Why a-r-re you ev-even-n… asking…” I wailed, crying on his chest. “Do I even need to answer that?! Idiot! Here you are again taking advantage of me! I hate you, you hear that?! I fucking hate you!”

“But I love you anyway! So yes! Shu-Shut up and don’t tease me!” I pulled him back to a kiss so he wouldn’t have time kissing me.

Fukui Residence, 6:09 am.

It was the day Kensuke had to leave for college. As soon as he graduated, his mother made final calls in living with our family friend over at Tokyo. I watch him do last arrangements before uncle drives him over at the Midorima’s. Mayu, Himuro, Yumi and even Murasakibara are here at hishouse.

“Say hi to Shintaro-kun for me!” Mayu reminded him.

“Shintaro? Wait is that Hitomi’s boy version-” I hit him at the head. “Ow! What was that for?” he whined, glancing at me.

I crossed my arms, huffing annoyingly. “He’s not my boy version” I declared, popping a vein.

“But, you’re both green heads and tsunderes” he pointed out so I threw a pillow at his face enough to make him stop. Himuro chuckled behind me then leaned his chin on my shoulder. I flinched and leaned my head on his. “Ew, stop with the PDA you two. It disgusts me” Kensuke made vomiting noises enough for his mother to yell at him.

“Kensuke! did you have another hangover last night?!” she yells from upstairs. It made Kensuke twitch and panic.

“I didn’t! I was doing the noise on purpose! Jeez mom!” he hollered back, scratching the back of his neck. We all laughed at him as I recalled a certain girl who was a big part of Kensuke’s life.

“Hey, aren’t you going to call Kaichou?” I suddenly asked, pulling out my phone to receive a message from the person I just mentioned.

From Kaichou:

I don’t think he’d want to see me.

I replied to her text while listening to Kensuke whine. Himuro read my text from behind. “Eh? Why would I? She wouldn’t want to see me”

“But what if she wanted to?” I ask, getting a reply from Kaichou again. Kensuke continued to blabber, not noticing me texting.

Why would he want to? “Why would she want to?”

“Because maybe she likes you?” I say. Himuro started to snicker from behind me, figuring out what I was trying to do.

He doesn’t. “She didn’t confess to me” with that, I threw another pillow at Kensuke.

“Shouldn’t be the guys move first?” Mayu sweat dropped, disappointed at her friend. “Fukui-senpai, stop being so gay and man up”

“I agree with Mayu-chan!” Yumi raised her hand cutely.

“Whatever Yumichin says…” Murasakibara followed next.

Kensuke felt ganged and hid behind his luggage. “Leave me alone, traitors! You’re supposed to miss me since I’m going to leave! Yet you’re arguing with me!” he pouted but we paid no attention to that.

“Idiot” I sigh as we heard the door open.

“Heya!” It was Nanami, entering Kensuke’s house as if it was her own. Liu was with her that made me glance at Mayu who plainly stared at them. I guess she moved on. “Hey everyone! Is Fukui-senpai’s dad around?”

“Sorry for intruding…” Liu muttered behind her. Soon after they stepped in, Kaichou followed behind, carrying her own suitcase with her.

“Is Suzume-chan and Iguru-chan here?” Kensuke’s mother came going down the stairs. When she saw Kaichou struggling with her bags, she scolded Kensuke for not helping forcing him to carry those for her.

“Let me…” Kensuke awkwardly offered, carrying tons of bags in his arms. Ha, serves him right.

“Thank you…” Kaichou shyly thanked him.

Well apparently, the Nanamis are her in extension, Liu. Secretly, Kensuke’s mother applied him to the same college where Kaichou did. Disadvantages of his laziness, he didn’t even check on his school. But I’m wondering how he knows Kaichou’s. (which is the same as his)

“Wait, not be rude, but why are you guys here?” Kensuke wondered, scratching his head.

“Ah, Uncle said that Onee-chan can ride with you guys when he drives you to Tokyo since you two will be attending the same college and that she’ll be living in a dorm right next to… the Mizuki’s I think?” Nanami answered, scratching her cheek.

“It’s Midorima’s” Liu corrected.

“Wait… Midochin?” Murasakibara realized a few seconds later. It made me face palm internally.

“Wait—WHAT?!” Kensuke reacted, jaw dropping and staring at Kaichou, eyes widened. It made her flinch and blush at the same time, looking away, feeling awkward at my cousin’s face.

Man, her feelings for him never changed huh? And here he is being dense as fuck. I want to hit his head with a wrecking ball.

“KENSUKE!” his mother hit him hard at the head. Few minutes later, uncle went down the stairs, asking the two college students if they were ready. All he got was a nod and a nervous looking stupid Kensuke who is silenced by his situation right now. That’s what he gets for being an idiot.

Uncle carried Kaichou’s bags to fill it to the car’s trunk as she rode at the back seat. Kensuke let them out first and gave a pleading look at me.

“Idiot, nothing will happen if you only dwell on it. Make a move a step forward” I say, pushing his back. He gave a startled look before smiling then riding shotgun beside the driver’s seat where his father was sitting.

“I thought you said we’ll move forward together” Himuro said from behind me.

I shrug. “I can never walk side by side as him. He’s way ahead of me on the road. And I won’t allow him letting me catch up to him” I state.

Himuro knocked me on the head. “Strong as a rock” he smiled before kissing me on the forehead.

“Anyways, since you’re all here, why won’t we celebrate Suzume and Kensuke’s first day of college?” Auntie announced, raising her hand. “Who wants to cook with me?”

“Ooh, I want to!” Yumi volunteered like a little kid.

“Me too!” Nanami raised her hand, following Auntie in the kitchen with Yumi. Murasakibara followed after his girlfriend and soon enough, the four of us, Mayu, Liu, Himuro and I were left in the living room. Talk about awkward.

“So, who sleepover at my place later and watch the sunrise?” Himuro suggested as I sweat dropped.

“First the sunset now the sunrise” I face palmed.

Mayu remained silent until her phone rang and excitedly answered it. “E-Excuse me!” well she was eager to talk to that person. Looks like she found someone new.

“Anyways captain, are you ready for the upcoming freshmen this year?” Himuro asked the Chinese who frowned after being questioned by that.

“Don’t pressure me” Liu snapped. Himuro just chuckled and leaned his back on the sofa.

“Hey, hey Wei! Don’t just sit there! Help us over here!” Nanami suddenly came back wearing an apron. It was cute when I saw Liu blush when he saw her. “Come!” she dragged her boyfriend along in the kitchen, leaving me with my boyfriend alone.

I sighed staring out the window. “Talk about moving forward together” I mutter unconsciously as I caught Himuro’s attention. I scoffed and smiled up the sky. “Who would’ve thought I can walk side by side with Kensuke?”

“Well, at least you know he’ll wait for you at the end” Himuro quipped. Well, true. “So when he’s done walking on his own path of life, he’ll get to see how you do it yourself, and with everyone beside you”

 I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder. “Why do you always have to be right?”

“Because, I didn’t left”  

“Ts, idiot, come here”

And the chances of him cuddling with me came true. 

And that my friends, is how you type a dramatic and very deep chapter! :D Also the last chapter ;) But worry not, a titanic will rise after this :) 

Hope you enjoyed the whole story! Thank you for all those who supported this!