Two Years Later

Jackson stands in front of the mic, guitar in hand. He finds me in the audience sitting with Anna, Tara, and Mom. Him and Henry are performing in the school talent show with their band They Might Be Hamsters. Henry sits behind the drums searching the crowd for Lawson. Lawson had a band meeting and was running a few minutes behind but was close by.

Henry looks at me too. He twirls the drumstick in his hands. Jackson turns to him when the auditorium doors open. Some people look, but I don't have to, to know that Lawson is here. Henry's face lights up. He taps his sticks together, as Jackson gets set to sing.

Lawson slides into the empty seat at the end beside me.

"Hey, baby. Sorry I'm late. How are you feeling?"

I glance up and smile, as he leans in for a kiss, then reaches over resting his hand over my round — ready to pop belly. He gets a nice kick for disturbing our daughter's nap. He kisses the spot where she nearly punched a hole in my belly. Pulling away, I smile at our matching gold wedding bands, then up at him. Our eyes meet and my heart dances.

"They're far enough apart that I should be okay."

He smiles. This morning I woke up with a lot of aches and pain. I know I'm close, but I couldn't miss the show.

Henry finishes the count down and he, Jackson, their friend Gio on bass, and Kenny on keyboards, start their rendition of 'Shut up And Dance'. It's a little off tempo at first, but once Henry gets into the groove it goes well. They have been practicing all school year for this talent show and have come so far.

Lawson holds me as we watch our kids kicking some serious ass on that stage. His band is doing really well too. They are planning on a short fall tour. The summer he's set aside for us to enjoy our new bundle of joy.

The kids finish their song, and the audience gets to their feet and claps. Henry and Jackson look at each other, smiles on their faces. They've embraced being brothers and it shows, not only every day, but up on that stage.

Henry leaves his drums and comes over to bow with the rest of them. He and Jackson hug, slapping each other's backs.

We join everyone standing. I hold onto Lawson for a second as a lingering pain and tightness in my belly comes and goes. Lawson whistles as Anna squeezes by and he lifts her to get a better view. Those two have become inseparable. He loves her as fiercely as if she was his own. He loves both of my children, and I couldn't be happier.

Six months after Miles said he was getting help, he decided that he didn't want it, nor did he want to come back. He's a lost cause and it really hurt both the kids for a long time. Lawson, being the angel he is, stuck by both Jackson and Anna's sides through it all. He didn't push them to talk to him, but he let them both know he was there and that he had gone through something similar as a kid. Jackson did eventually come to him for advice and from there their bond grew even stronger.

A few months later, Lawson and I got engaged, with Jackson, Anna, and my father's permission. And nine months ago, after having a "stomach virus" for a week, I peed on a stick and when those pink lines came up, Lawson scooped me into his arms with such excitement that I almost puked on him.

It's been a ride, a journey, but we're coping the best we can. The kids know we're there for them and that we are going to try our hardest to make this work and not fall into the same patterns as we did with our previous relationships.

After the show we all wait for the kids to come out in the main lobby of the school. It's middle school now for Jackson, which is pretty terrifying for me. My stomach tightens and my feet ache with each step but it's all worth it when I see the smiles on Jackson and Henry's faces as they race towards us. Lawson takes the brunt of their hugs and I come over and join in with Anna.

"You guys were amazing," Tara says, walking up behind me with Mom.

"Oh my god! Did you see everyone stand?" Jackson asks, running a hand through his now long hair.

He says if he's going to be in a band, he needs long hair, so when he headbangs, it will look insane. His words not mine. Henry too. I love how they have grown and gotten past their little tiff from a few years ago.

"I'm so proud of bo-oth of you," I cringe at the lightning coursing through my stomach.

Lawson's hands are on my shoulder. "Baby, you, okay?"

I hold onto the round bump, glance up and smile. "Mmm. I think so," I say.

Mom stands beside me. "You remember what happened with Anna, darling. Don't dismiss your pain."

Anna arrived a lot quicker than Jackson. She was born in the elevator on the way up to maternity.

"I promised these kids ice cream and they're gonna get their ice cream."

Again, the pain rifles through me, and I lean over from the intense pain. Lawson's grip tightens around me. For a few seconds I listen to the sounds of the kids chatting with Tara and Mom and concentrate on Lawson's words in my ear. "Breathe. You got this."

The crowd is dispersing, leaving us and a few other lingering families, but I feel as if I'm having an insane hot flash with nausea. I don't think I'm getting my ice cream tonight.

"Is Mommy, okay?" Anna asks, looking up at Lawson.

With his other arm he brings her close to him. She rests her head against his stomach, watching me. I'm trying not to show her the pain I'm in, but it's hard not to. Anna has been very interested in this whole baby thing. She's all ready for her little sister to make an appearance. She's gone to almost all the appointments with us and helped us set up the baby's room.

Lawson and I decided it would be better to get our own place to start over. So, aside from picking out paint and furniture for her room, she did it for the baby too.

"I am sweetie. I think it's time to go."

Tara steps in. "I'll take the kids, get them their ice cream. Mom and I can handle it. Do we need to drop Henry at his mom's?" Tara asks.

Tara hasn't needed to watch the kids as much, because Lawson and I were able to make our schedules work for each other. She is always there though if we need her. She's been dating and might have found THE one, so, not having the kids over every day has been good for her social life.

"Yeah, I told her I'd drop him off at nine."

She checks her watch. "Perfect. I can do that."

"Mommy, do I get to meet my sister?" Anna asks.

"Yes. We'll call when everything is okay," I say, holding my stomach.

She nods, teary eyed and I scoop her into my arms. I groan as another contraction hits me. They are even closer together now. Jackson and Henry hurry over to give me a hug too.

"I'm so excited to have a little sister. I was telling my mom that I'm going to take really good care of her," Henry says. "I'm going to teach her the drums."

I smile at him, pulling him in closer. "I'm so happy that you're happy. I'm sure she'll love to learn from her big brother."

"Yeah, and we'll teach her the guitar too so she and Anna can have their own band too."

Anna rolls her eyes. She's ten now and my God, we have already hit the attitude stage. She's me and Tara spot on.

"I'll teach her to draw. It's more fun," Anna says.

"Alright you guys, let's let your mom have some air. I need to get her to the hospital. We don't want your sister to be born in my truck. I can handle puke now, but no — we need to go."

I scowl at him, and he chuckles. The kids pull away, and we say our goodbyes before leaving for the hospital.

***

What a rush. Avery Lynn was not born in Lawson's truck, but my water did break all over his seat, so there's that. He might have gagged a little too, but he was a pro at helping guide me during labor. It was intense and having him there by my side was the most beautiful experience, much better than the last when Miles didn't show up.

The kids are waiting to come in. Lawson went to go get them. As I sit here holding this tiny little darling in my arms, I can't help but think about how I got here. It was tough to have gone through so much with the kids, and Miles, and I'm so grateful I didn't pull away from the pickup line that afternoon. I wouldn't have met Lawson and wouldn't have this beautiful life I have now.

Their tiny voices shriek, Anna's over all of them as they rush through the door. She's the first to the bed, and little Avery yawns and stretches in my hold.

"Mommy, she's beautiful," Anna says teary eyed.

Avery's tiny arms make jerky movements as Jackson leans over. "She's a drummer for sure, look at that form."

Lawson chuckles. "Or a Ninja."

While the kids fawn over her, and Tara and Mom help them hold her in the bright orange chair at my bedside, Lawson takes this moment to lean down and whisper in my ear.

"I'm so proud of you, baby. Are you happy?" he asks.

I glance up at him as he lowers his lips to mine. "So happy, Lawson."

His smile is enough to warm me and light up the room. We both look over at our kids sitting in the chair. Anna's in the middle holding Avery, Jackson on the left, Henry on the right. It's a beautiful sight. And while some things aren't resolved and I'm not sure what will happen in the future, I'm focused on right here, right now. It's the only place I want to be.

THE END