20. Lost Skills and Mysteries

Wrong. 

She was doing everything wrong, as if four days of lying around and worrying over Cage had driven every ounce of battle skill out of Kat.

He'd only spared a few moments in which he changed his filthy clothes and wolfed down something from the kitchen, after which he ordered her to the armory. It made her want to hit him with something even more, but she complied and got to work. 

After watching her for what felt like an hour, all trails of lingering amusement vanished. Instead, his expression morphed into an annoyed frown, as if her incompetence was a personal affront.

"Stop it, you're embarrassing yourself," he growled.

She lowered her sword, sweat dripping down her back. "So we're back to growling now?"

In truth, she didn't mind the interruption of the exercise. She'd thought swordplay would be a welcomed distraction after everything she'd been through lately, but it didn't work. Torn between the need to yell at him and the fear of the voices inside her head, it took all she had not to drop the sword.

It appeared that nothing could distract her from her anger at him anyway. And anger didn't make her better. It made her sloppy.

It wasn't even about him either, but the idea that she had fallen so hard for someone who could kill her. Someone she didn't truly know. It was the fear of information and her dire need to know.

It was the beast and the curse and her failure to escape all of it. He made an excellent point. Why hadn't she left? Why hadn't she saved herself and returned to her father? Maybe it was because he'd shown her the deepest proof of love possible in their situation. He'd set her free.

"What happened to you?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm angry," she answered with a shrug.

"About my disappearing?" He tilted his head, his annoyance replaced by curiosity.

She growled, too, exasperated by how that look on his face only made her want to hug him. Why? Why when he'd probably sink claws into her the very next moment and tear her to shreds like that poor tapestry?

"No. That annoyed me, too, but it's this whole situation that's driving me up the wall. So shut up and go away."

He quirked an eyebrow, obviously unimpressed with her rudeness. "Is this the part where I remind you that this is my castle and I do whatever the hell I want?"

"No, this is the part where you shut up and go away." Her hands shook so badly from anger and exertion, she was half afraid she'd end up cutting his real face this time.

"It's you who should have gone away while you had the chance."

And she felt more stupid about it with every passing second. But the thought of returning to her father seemed to drain her more. Her life had been so boring without Cage.

You need him. You need his magic, his danger.

She shook away the voice. Her thoughts were becoming jumbled and her heart stuttered. Sadness, loneliness, anger, disappointment. Fear of rejection.

"Why do you keep trying to throw me out?" You told me you loved me.

He rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed with her. "Because I want you to live."

"What kind of life would that be?"

"Better than no life at all!"

His words cut through her, filling her with both shame and pain. "Don't you want to fight for us?"

Her question had him going from exasperation to a sort of focus that thrilled and terrified her at the same time.

"I fight for us every single second. I fight for you, because you apparently don't want to fight for yourself."

She knew he meant his struggle to keep keep beast in, but it didn't feel like enough. "You know that's not what I meant."

"That's what you should mean. I'm not this prince you've conjured inside your head. This won't have a happy ending. I'm a monster. Why can't you come to terms with it?"

His words hit her so hard, she stepped back. Truth dripped from every syllable and yet, she couldn't wrap her mind around his words. It wasn't black and white, like he painted it. It wasn't like she could just turn her back on him and walk away.

"So you're ready to just give me up?"

He let out a groan. "I don't know how to break the curse, Kat. And I really don't want to kill you."

Yes, that was a problem, but it didn't mean it had no solution. She raised her sword and pointed it at him. "What makes you think you can kill me so easily?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. In the blink of an eye, he drew his sword, hooked hers, and threw it out of her hand.

Sucking air through her teeth, she rolled her aching wrist.

"Again," he demanded.

"What?"

"If you want to survive, again."

Watching him warily, she picked up her sword and assumed combat position again. He immediately charged at her and, using the same circular motion, disarmed her.

"Again."

"Wait, tell me how to avoid that."

"I don't talk when I'm the beast. Again!"

She tried again and again, but no matter how strong she made her grip, he kept breaking it and sending her sword flying. So she tried to avoid him altogether instead. It only created the opportunity for him to kick the legs out from under her and send her to the sand-covered floor. Now her body ached all over.

"I can't believe you kicked me," she said, sitting up

"I can't believe you fell for it." He didn't even reach out his hand to help her up and it annoyed her even more than his refusal to teach her anything.

"Are you trying to make me hate you?"

"It would make things so much easier. Maybe then you'll use that big brain of yours to get out of here."

She got into a crouch and charged at him, but he parried with ease, spun his sword and tossed hers to the floor again. This time, she didn't back down, but grabbed his wrist with her newly freed hand.

He yanked his arm back, pulling her along, crashing her body against his. She was panting, every muscle in her body sore, and he wasn't even breaking a sweat. The way he looked at her, the fire in his eyes, it sent shivers down her spine.

How could he look so confident and commanding? He was just sparring with her. And yet, the determination on his face made her certain that he could lead an army.

Maybe he already had at some point if he'd been Admiral, commanding men at sea. She could easily imagine the fear he must've struck in the hearts of pirates. But she couldn't let that consume her now, not when she was furious and he'd just forced her through a grueling, pointless exercise.

Her anger had her twisting, hoping to get a good hit in. He caught her other wrist. Heat so powerful radiated through his skin, she was sure he was going to burn her in a second. He seemed to feel it, too, because he let her go and stepped back, glancing at his hands with a frown.

But it only lasted a second before he returned his attention to her, the scowl still on his face. She glared back, her fists clenched. Her muscles no longer protested, as if the anger sweeping her had soothed them.

"What are you trying to prove?" she said between her teeth.

"That you should've ran. Just like when I left the dungeon door open. Just like when I left the door to the castle unlocked every single night."

"Then maybe you should turn dumb and boring."

"I don't need to be dumb and boring," he said, his voice low and measured. "I'm evil and dangerous. That should be enough."

"I'm past the point of riddles, Cage," she said, her voice as exhausted as she felt. "If you're so evil, come out with it. What did you do?"

He faltered. "I don't think you're ready for that."

"Then what am I ready for?" She yanked herself away from him. "I don't even know your name."

"Cage is fine," he said, obviously not getting the point.

"I know it's not your name. I know it starts with a K."

He just shrugged. "Cage was what everyone called me in the navy. I prefer it over anything else. I'm not overly fond of my name. And what are you complaining about? I don't know your full name either."

Seriously? He wanted to do this? She took another step back, her hands on her hips. "It's Katherine Devieux."

He tilted his head. "Huh. Interesting combination."

"I'm twenty years old. I live in the town that way." She pointed in the general direction of her former home. "When I was a young girl, I used to live near Valona. My father and I moved away after my mother died. Before being stuck in your delightful castle, I lived with my father. But you know that. 

"We're poor, so I took a job at the local inn, but you know that too. I love to read, but you know that already. I sometimes tinker with my father's inventions, but of course you know that. I was betrothed to the son of the Baron de Royce, but of course you know that too. You know everything!"

He stepped back when she yelled the last word. "Wha--"

"You know I long to travel, you know I wished to become a librarian or a school teacher. You know I have never been in love and never thought I would be. You know my heart!"

"And you know mine," he whispered, all aggression gone from him. "You know how caged I feel, how I long for the freedom to travel again. And now you know why. The rest is irrelevant. "

No, it wasn't. She was in love with him and yet knew next to nothing about him. How was that even possible? Did it matter as long as she couldn't deny it was true?

"How old are you?" she snapped.

He hesitated for a bit. "Twenty-five."

Her mouth dropped open. "Wait, so you were cursed when you were seventeen?" That made everything even more brutal.

"No, I was cursed when I was twenty-five. I actually took to the sea when I was seventeen and became Admiral at twenty."

"But if you've been cursed for eight years, that means you're thirty-three." Which, bleeding hell, was a lot. Except he really didn't look that old. He seemed to be in his early twenties.

"I'm not sure since I don't age."

"You don't?"

He let out a bitter laugh. "Of course I don't. How else would I be cursed forever and keep making the hearts of potential victims flutter?"

This was new and it completely threw her off track. "So you're immortal?"

"No. I die if you stab me. I just don't age."

She nibbled on her lower lip. Apparently there was a lot more to the curse than just turning women to stone and becoming a murderous animal. Not aging, the healing, the increased strength that allowed him to carry a Cusith as if it were nothing... Did he even realize how unusual he was? How fascinating it made him?

"And when were you planning to tell me about this?"

He gave her a half-shrug. "When it came up. Like now."

"What else does your curse do?"

"Except force me to kill people in various ways? What you've already seen. The healing and slight physical strength."

"Slight?"

"I don't know. I haven't been around people for a long time. I've forgotten what normal strength looks like."

It was so sad how he'd lost himself within the curse. Did he even remember who he used to be? The thought somehow fascinated her more than the curse itself.

"I want to know more about the you before the curse."

His mouth twisted into a snarl. "Why? It's not like that person still exists."

Painful and true, but she wasn't giving up on the human side of him. "What about if you somehow break the curse?"

"Not even then, sweetheart." The word came off his lips naturally, with no sarcasm involved for once. Just bitter sadness. "Not after everything I've done and what I've lived through. Loneliness does things to a man's mind. As does regret."

She bit her tongue not to call out his slip because she was in no mood for the beast to offer its input. "Why did Cecile curse you?"

A harsh laugh escaped him. "I really don't think you're ready for that."

She propped her fists on her hips and bristled. "Why not? Is it part of all the supposedly evil things you've done?"

He deflated, all amusement gone from him. "Yeah, something like that."

"I want to know. You owe it to me."

"I don't owe you anything."

She took out the notebook and threw it at his chest. "You owe me everything."

He caught it and stared at it for a long moment, as if he had no idea what it was. "Look, Kat--"

"Look Kat nothing! You're either telling me this or I'm really leaving, wolves be damned." The moment the words were out, she regretted them. He'd been the one insisting that she left, so this was merely playing into what he wanted, not a punishment.

And if he told her to leave, it would break her. Because it would mean he could do without her.

Or that he loves you enough to let you go.

The thought terrified her for some reason. But still, he wasn't jumping aboard, using her words against her. Instead, he hesitated, the intensity in his gaze making her shiver. She knew him well enough to tell that he was gauging the effect his decision would have on the curse, whether it was stopping her or letting her go that would bring out the beast.

"I am apparently very capable of letting you kill yourself," he finally said. "But I don't want to. Instead..." He took in a deep, controlled breath. "I will tell you everything you want to know. Because it might finally make you want to leave on your own. And I won't blame you." He sheathed his sword and gave her a half-smile. "Let's go inside. If I'm going to make you sick of me, you might as well be comfortable."

Are you ready to find out every dark secret Cage has? Why he was cursed, what he used to be like?

Well, you're not getting that now, but when I get the chance to actually edit some more and I don't know when that will happen.

Meanwhile, hope you enjoyed this chapter. So many clues in there. Especially about magic.

Also THE SONG. Fits their situation SO well.

So, vote and comment if you enjoyed it.

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