"ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰʟʏ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʏᴢᴇᴅ ʙʏ ɪᴛ. ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏʟᴅ ꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴅ ɪᴛ."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

⋆·˚ ༘ *

Human beings had to be the most irritating and merciless species in the entire universe. If I had the choice to spend time with an evil alligator or a high school kid, I'd always choose the alligator. Alligators had more of a soul than high school children.

Why the hell were they staring at me like I was the most disgusting person in the world? I had no idea. I wanted to know if cruelty and idiocy ran through most teenagers' veins or something because did their parents never teach them that staring at someone like you want to rip them apart was not good manners?

I expected school on Monday to be ordinary—or as ordinary as high school could be. But now, all I had was everyone, and I am not exaggerating, everyone was staring at me. Apart from the one or two odd people who were sensible and couldn't care less about other people's lives. Like me.

I checked my clothes—pretty normal, and even if I was wearing one of my mom's choice of clothes, there would be nothing that interesting to stare at.

If Kyran didn't show up and explain what the hell was going on, I was going to lose it. Never mind. Not Kyran, I needed Max to explain everything. He probably knew everything and more.

Today was the day I needed to make a lot of changes to my timetable, preferably without Ms. Walton's input. She'd definitely try and change something or tell me I couldn't do so much—and I definitely didn't need her to jeopardize my plan.

Unless Kyran told his dear aunt, I should be safe.

I strode through the halls, staring at the floor despite the whispering and the looks that followed me. They were talking about me, and even if they weren't, it sure as hell felt like they were judging me even if they knew nothing about me or my life. Just as I was starting to feel my head hurt, I noticed Kyran on the other end of the hallway having a very intense conversation with a bunch of his football friends. He looked quite furious, and it was almost scary to watch.

There were only two people I knew who looked absolutely frightening when they were angry—Kyran and my mom.

Maybe now was not the time to ask about this.

Although I was trying to get my things out of my locker, I couldn't help but glance at them. Their conversation wasn't loud—I couldn't hear anything from here. But attention in the hallway was well divided. Some were staring at the star of the school, and the others were staring at the outcast of the school.

Fun stuff.

My locker hid the world from me quite well. I considered it a sanctuary of some kind—a narrow metal shielding me from the rest of these nosy kids. Even though I felt horrible about what they were doing, a part of me was curious. What did they know? That was the question I needed the answer to, and there was no one there to give it to me.

Call it a notion. A hunch maybe. But I had a very good feeling Kyran was fiercely arguing about something to do with me. It always was something to do with me. I was the barrier causing him to spiral and argue with others. I was the reason he was cut off from his friends, and it was my fault he was always on the edge now—and felt like he needed to protect me all the time.

Everything hurt.

The first bell rang, and everyone dispersed away from their usual swarm, shuffling to their classes. I took a deep breath, feeling like the weight of the world was lifted off me. It was safe for me to close my locker. English. Of course, it was English. Kyran had to sit next to me now, and he had to have answers. As I walked, there was still the occasional gaze, but it was less intense now. There were fewer people anyway.

"Hey, Avery," a guy I'd never spoken to said. "Wait, you are Avery, right?"

I nodded without looking up from the bloody dagger on the cover of my copy of Macbeth. Oh, how wonderful it would be to just throw that dagger at something.

"I heard your mom hates you," he said, the ghost of a smile on his face. "Is that true?"

My blood ran cold. The temperature in the room had gone down. The words echoed in my head, louder and louder, and I gulped, ignoring the screams in my mind. I didn't even know this guy's name, and here he was, prying into my life with the subtlety of a cow.

"Mind your own fucking business," I snapped, finally looking up. His smirk widened, but he didn't push it further. I could see the satisfaction in his eyes—he'd gotten the reaction he wanted.

Kyran. Now would be a really, really good time to be here.

Max slipped into the seat next to me and gave me an apologetic look.

"Hey," he whispered. "You okay?"

"Do I want to know what they're saying?" I asked him, and he smiled sadly.

"Personally, I would rather be oblivious. But if you want to know, I'll tell you."

I took a deep breath. I wasn't someone who enjoyed being in the dark about anything. "Tell me," I said.

Max hesitated for a moment before speaking. He looked around to see if anyone was listening and although they were staring at me, they weren't listening. "Someone posted on the group chat," he began, "that your mom hates you, and that you're the reason for a broken family and about your mom banning you from extracurriculars. They just twisted it into something very ugly, saying your family hates you and stuff like that."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "I'd have thought you'd get sympathy, but...people are just using that against you. They're...um, they're saying that's why no one else likes you. If your own family didn't like you, why would others..."

I felt a nagging pain in my chest, like someone was repeatedly punching my heart. The tears were already forming in my eyes, but I blinked them away. I wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me break down.

"That's...really messed up," I managed to say. If it was false, maybe I'd have felt better about it. But it was true. Every word they said was true. If the person who gave birth to me hated me, how could I expect others to like me? They weren't wrong.

What did one have to do to deserve love? Did we have to achieve something? The more I held the tears, the more pain I was in. I couldn't even blame anyone, because maybe...maybe I really was a horrible person.

Maybe, I didn't deserve it. Anything. Love, ambition, friends...anything.

"I know it's messed up," Max said quickly. "And so do the people who actually know you."

I knew Max was trying to make me feel better, but he was wrong. No one knew the whole me. No one knew every part of Avery Turner; not even me. How could anyone know me when they knew barely one part of me?

"Yeah."

Max smiled at me one last time and moved back to his seat.

I was all alone again.

●○●○●○●○●○●

"Did Lady Macbeth deserve what she got?" Mr. Sherman asked, scribbling on the whiteboard. Normally, I'd have answered, but when I was on the verge of breaking down, that was probably a bad idea.

Thankfully, someone else had an opinion. "Yes, she deserved it," came a voice from the back of the class. It was the guy on Kyran's football team, the one who held the ladder on the other side when Kyran climbed into my room. "She manipulated her husband and pushed him into committing murder. She was just as guilty as Macbeth. If not more."

Mr. Sherman nodded and scribbled it onto the whiteboard. "Manipulation. Any other perspective?"

A girl laughed. "Mr. Sherman. You can't make us feel sorry for her. She literally caused the entire tragedy. I think she's worse than Macbeth. She deserved it."

"Sure, Sarah." Mr. Sherman's eyes fell to the empty seat next to me. He looked at it for a few seconds before staring at me.

Please, don't ask me. Please, no. Please.

"Avery!" Mr. Sherman smiled excitedly. "You always have quite unique opinions. What do you think?"

I didn't bother making eye contact. "I agree with the others, sir."

That would be enough to get him off my back. Mr. Sherman paused, raising an eyebrow. He looked quite disappointed. He probably expected me to give him something others could argue about. "Care to elaborate, Avery?"

I shook my head. "No, sir. I think everyone else summed it up quite well."

I expected Mr. Sherman to drop it, but he didn't. He wanted the drama. "So, you believe that Lady Macbeth deserved the psychological trauma, the breakdown, and the mental anguish because she was complicit in a murder she didn't even commit?"

I hesitated. He knew nothing about what was going on, and obviously, Mr. Sherman wasn't to blame. But it seemed like another minute on the same topic would make me scream or cry. Or both.

"Sir, I think we should move on," Max said warily from behind me. Mr. Sherman looked at Max and then at me before he nodded curtly and approached the board again.

Mr. Sherman thankfully moved on, his back to the class as he scribbled more notes on the board. I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

The class dragged on for an eternity. It felt like years, but I knew from the second Max told Mr. Sherman to move on that I was going to be called up for the talk—how is everything, Avery? Everything all right?

Sure enough, Mr. Sherman wanted to know. "Avery, is everything alright?" He had the same concerned look every teacher had when they wanted to weasel out information from students.

I wanted to disappear. To be anywhere but here. But I couldn't just run away, so I nodded, forcing the convincing smile I had practiced for so many years now. "Yes, sir. I'm fine."

Mr. Sherman didn't look convinced, but he let it drop. If he talked to anyone about this, particularly Ms. Walton, I'd be forced to talk about things I didn't want to talk about.

"Thanks, Mr. Sherman," I muttered, grabbing my stuff. I bolted out of the classroom before he could think of some follow-up questions.

The Junior corridor was filled with people whispering and staring again. Was it possible to make myself shrink into a ball? I needed to find Kyran. There had to be a reason he was missing from English, and if it had something to do with me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I was supposed to help him with his studies, not occupy his mind so much that he quit classes.

Hiding in the bathroom for a while didn't seem like a bad idea.

I stared at the floor, feeling guilty about something. I was going to schedule a Student Council meeting since I had a free period, but a bathroom breakdown seemed more appealing at the moment. I ducked inside, thankful it was empty, and locked myself in one of the stalls. Pacing in the small space, I tried to steady my breathing.

Everything's alright.

Everything's fine.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, half-expecting Kyran, but instead, it was a text from my mother.

Get home by five today.

For a moment, my mind was stuck. This rumor was not a problem to me. They'll just forget about it after a few days, and if anyone asked, all I had to do was lie perfectly and believably like I always did. The only real problem would be if my mom found out that someone was saying stuff like that. To her, the only way they knew would be if I mentioned it.

That'd be a worse reality.

Ten minutes. Twenty minutes. I spent twenty whole minutes in there, and when I exited the bathroom, I was calmer. I just had to lie to anyone who asked me, and pretend like it never bothered me. That was the story of my life anyway. This wasn't a big deal.

The hallway was almost deserted, apart from the very few people who were probably going to the bathrooms. The relief was momentary. I walked briskly, my head down, eyes following the wooden tiles of the floor. I should've expected that I'd bump into someone.

I looked up to apologize, but it was the guy from English earlier. One of Kyran's friends who held the ladder.

"Sorry," I said shortly and tried to move past him, but I remembered something. He probably knew where Kyran was. "Have you seen Kyran today?"

The guy hesitated, his eyes judging me somehow. "Why can't you just leave Kyran alone?"

I gaped at him. "What?"

"Why can't you leave Kyran alone?" he repeated, crossing his arms. "You and your fake relationship with him... I know all about it. You're dragging him down."

He couldn't possibly know anything about that. He was lying. My heart pounded in my chest. "What are you talking about? I'm not dragging anyone down. I'm helping him with his grades."

He shook his head, a look of disgust in his eyes. "You don't get it, do you? Kyran's been playing not as well as he should be ever since you entered his life. He's stressed, he's distant, and it's because of you."

I opened my mouth to argue, but no words came out. Instead, I turned away, my vision blurring with tears. I'd done such a good job keeping my shit together today, but now I was spiraling.

The guy laughed. "Does this sob story of yours work everywhere? Is that what you tell teachers, Kyran, and everyone else in school? Maybe that's how you get those grades."

I ignored him. I just needed to find Kyran, but now I wasn't sure if it was for his sake or mine. Maybe they were right. Maybe I was a burden.

Before I could react, I saw Max walking over. "Avery, let's get out of here for a bit. You don't need to listen to him."

The guy scoffed at Max. "She wants to talk to Kyran. Does she even know who leaked everything about her?"

"Avery, let's go." Max tried to steer me away from this guy, but I was curious. I had to know now.

"Who? Tell me," I asked. Max looked quite frightened, and for a moment I thought it was him. But I never told Max anything about me.

"Your boyfriend told me yesterday. All about your mom, your dad, your supposed mental problems, and the extracurriculars. That's why I decided to help out with the ladder."

"Caleb, shut up," Max warned. Caleb smiled furtively at both Max and me.

"What? It's not my fault Kyran decided to tell her entire problematic story to everyone!"

"You're lying," I whispered, but even as I said it, I knew he was telling the truth. Kyran wouldn't do that, would he? But then again, he was the only person in the entire world to know anything about it. I shared those fragments with him.

Max's grip on my arm tightened, but I pulled away, glaring at the guy who had just destroyed everything. "Kyran wouldn't do that."

Caleb shrugged. "I mean, there's a game on right now, so you can take it up with Kyran before the match, or maybe after the match."

I turned to Max. "Did Kyran tell you? About me?" Part of me prayed that he didn't, but at Max's silence, I knew the answer.

"Did he tell Yashna?"

Max was silent again, and for the first time in my life, I realized everything hurt. Everything. No one was trustworthy. Not Max, not Kyran, not even myself. I constructed the walls around my life so well, but now everything was crumbling around me, and all I could do was stand in the midst of the rubble, watching everything fall apart.

I needed air. I needed to get out of here. Ignoring Max's calls, I ran down the hallway. I pushed open the doors and stepped into the cool morning air. The school field stretched out before me, and in the distance, I could see the football team practicing.

I needed to find Kyran.

⋆·˚ ༘ *

Hello hello hello,

I just attacked y'all with an emotional chapter and on a more lighthearted note, we're passing the halfway point of this book. I'm doing a little funny dance about it. So, I seemingly forgot to mention it but Hearts of Liars is now a 1X Featured bookie. Yayyy. Featured by romance in their Young Adult reading list. I'm super happy and over the moon right now. 💖💖💖

On a tragic note, I'm getting my exam results tomorrow so...hehehe. Fun stuff.

As always, thank you for reading and if you enjoyed it, please leave a vote and a little comment. Love y'all lots.

In the clouds, ☁️

Audrey. 💕😘