"ᴏʜ ᴍʏ, ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪꜱ ᴀ ʟɪᴇ, ꜱʜɪᴛ ᴍʏ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ ꜱᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ʙʏ, ɪᴛ ʜɪᴛꜱ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ"

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

⋆·˚ ༘ *

I should've known better.

A lot of people have told me that many times. For example, when I first met Max in late freshman year, we instantly became friends. There was something great about a football player not fueled by toxic masculinity. When I told him about my fiasco with Avery Turner, he told me I was wrong.

"Dude, there was obviously something up with her mom or whatever. Why do you think she'd say that otherwise? You also told me that she tried to apologize!" he chastised when I explained the situation to him.

I would call myself a victim of ego.

"Yeah, well. She stopped. She won't even look at me now," I explained as Max facepalmed in front of me.

"You're in your freshman year, had a relationship with Avery Turner for a week, and you still messed up? Bro-" Max began, getting up from his seat and walking. He didn't like sitting in one place for a long time, and therefore, would randomly stand up and walk around without warning.

"Yes, I messed up. Great. Is that what you wanted to hear?" I exclaimed, my anger reaching peaks. Why the hell was Max making this seem like my fault, even though it was clearly Avery's, and she was the one who told her mom that I was a delinquent and a thief?

Max sighed, pacing the locker room. It was after practice, and all the other boys had left, leaving just Max and me chatting about how I messed up with a girl in my first ever real relationship.

My middle-school crush on the high school girl didn't count, and now that I thought about it, what was wrong with me?

"Avery Turner tells things the way she sees them. I don't know much about her, but she used to talk in class. Now, she just minds her own business. Talks to no one. I wonder who did that to her?" Max told me, and I immediately felt a pang of guilt.

"So, you're saying this is my fault," I nodded, feeling betrayed. If my best friend wasn't going to take my side, then who would?

"Kyran, I don't know if you're always used to being right or something, but let me give you some free advice. Avery did what she had to from what I heard. People's family circumstances are always very different. Just because you can tell your family everything doesn't mean that she can. Also, she apologized or tried to anyway. You pushed her to her limit. Now she won't talk to you. Simple."

I knew that Max was right. I knew that ultimately, it was my ego, my dramatics, my unreasonable reasoning that caused this.

"Are you going to say sorry?" Max asked me, and for a brief moment, my heart was saying yes. Say yes, Kyran.

But my words weren't controlled by my heart; they were controlled by my brain.

"No. Why the hell should I? Whatever. She can live her life; I'll live mine."

I was miserable for a while. Utterly miserable. I knew that I was going to regret saying that, and I knew that for a while, it was going to be awful seeing her every day. I was going to get over it.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, knew me as a cranky guy who slept with every girl in the year. I just let them believe that. Nothing ever really happened between me and anyone. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I thought it'd make Avery jealous or something. It didn't make her feel anything.

There was something wonderful about letting the world create the rules for you, as you watched it play out to your benefit.

The clacking of the keyboard was louder than ever. My fingers tapped across the keys at intensive speed, probably faster than my reaction time when playing football. It was just adrenaline rushing through my veins.

Challenge 256 - Completed.

Why did I force myself to do ten exercises today? I got up from my leather chair and pushed it in, switching off the desktop and the system on my way. Looking around, this place held incredible memories. I found my solace here, through my deepest and darkest times.

I thought I was a genius.

It seemed foolproof to me to get her to like me again; all I had to do was make sure that she was forced to be around me, and then we could work it out and be friends again. How stupid of me to believe that?

I stared at the blinking cursor on my computer screen for longer than I needed. I knew I had to face the reality and apologize to her, but maybe there was a chance that things wouldn't go back to how they were.

I lived around lies.

I live around lies.

The next morning came quicker than I wanted, and there was only one thing on my mind. Today was Tuesday, and she had to be in...Economics now.

"Hello, Ms. Anderson," I called out from the other side of the door. At my voice, everyone looked up in surprise, including Avery. Her eyes darted from the teacher to mine, and she looked back down at her notes. "I'm here to deliver something."

"What is it, Kyran?" she asked, her arms folded. She didn't look particularly pleased.

"Just delivering Avery's coffee, Ms. Anderson."

I heard a bang and stared around the room to find Avery frantically picking up her flask off the floor. She was flustered, her eyes signaling me to leave as Ms. Anderson's eyes bore into her.

"Avery, what-" she began, and Avery stood up from her seat.

"I'm so sorry, Ms. Anderson. I have no idea why he's here."

Giggles erupted in the classroom by now, and everyone was staring at me and Avery. Their whispers were pretty much inaudible. They were cleverly trained that way, but we could hear the buzz of their voices.

Avery glared at me.

"Kyran, that's very thoughtful of you but hand it over to Avery and leave, thank you," Ms. Anderson said, and Avery snatched the coffee from my hands.

"I'm going to kill you," she whispered, and I gasped dramatically.

"I thought you were going to say thank you."

She ignored me and stalked off to her seat as Ms. Anderson tried to gain control of the room again.

The classroom soon settled back to its usual rhythm, and I couldn't shake off the unease. Avery's reaction was valid, and honestly, expected of her, but she could've been a bit nicer. I did make that coffee trip early in the morning for her.

I knew my attempts to make amends were only making things worse.

At least she'll talk to me now.

"Oh hey, Kyran," I was suddenly face-to-face with a girl I'd never spoken to before. What now? "Are you doing well?"

What was she? My doctor?

"Good, thanks. Excuse me," I muttered before attempting to push past her as politely as possible.

She blocked the way with her arms.

What. The. Actual...

"Excuse me? Have you ever heard the concept of personal space?" I asked her, frustration already building within me. If she didn't leave in the next five seconds, I'd probably explode.

5....4...3...

"Kyran, we all just care about you," she said, "Avery Turner is a horrible person."

Soap opera much? "Maybe you should try joining the drama club", I snapped, before pushing her arms away.

"She's the reason why her father left their entire family." Her voice bellowed through the hallway, and I felt my frustration reaching peaks already. However, this was a school building, and I had to unfortunately remain composed at all times.

Composed.

"What the actual hell is wrong with everyone in this stupid school? I don't even know your name, and you're here giving me advice on my dating life. One more time you come anywhere near me, or spread rumors about me or my girlfriend, just remember that my dad is a lawyer. A defamation case will just destroy your entire family's finances so, think about that and tell your other stupid friends too."

Okay, that was melodramatic, but at least she looked frightened and backed off.

In a bad mood, I walked downstairs to get ready for English.

Max intercepted me before I could even think of escaping him. He carried his new English books as well, and I conveniently forgot that he was in this class as well.

"Kyran, I heard from someone that you made a grand romantic gesture."

"Huh?"

"The coffee. Specifically the Macchiato. Did you actually go to her class, dude?"

I nodded, pretending to not listen to him. The greatest distraction of all was the phone, and I could simply pretend that I was doing something more important than listening to Max.

"How do you find out so quickly? It happened 20 minutes ago," I complained as Max shoved my shoulder.

"I am like God. Omnipresent. Knows everything."

"Whatever."

Before I could walk into the English classroom, a hand grabbed the back of my hoodie and pulled me across before I could even comprehend what was happening. A few seconds later, I was face to face with the devil herself, and we were in the same corner where we first talked about our pretending-to-date plan.

"What the hell was that?" she yelled, and I was shocked at how angry she seemed. "Are you trying to make my life worse than it already is?"

Okay, melodramatic much?

"I figured you'd like some coffee, and spent ten whole minutes looking for the coffee shop you were talking about," I said, fixing the hoodie that was slightly disheveled due to the pull. "How rude. You could say thank you."

She stretched out her hand and handed me the coffee, and to my astonishment, it was still full. She didn't even drink it.

"I don't want it, and I don't need your charity. Thanks."

She tried to leave, but I pulled her back by grabbing her backpack. "So, are you going to tell me how long you pretended to care about me?"

"Huh?"

"How long have you known that I was just lying to you?" I asked, "How long have you pretended as if you liked me?"

She stopped, her rage cooling, her eyes were now staring at me, and it almost felt like she was gazing into my soul to simply rip it apart.

"Like you. Are we doing this again? Okay, let me tell you this," she started, her voice fierce and steady, "I'm not mentally well, Kyran. Okay? My mind is so messed up. You saw it the other day. Even if I wanted to do whatever I wanted, there's so much in my mind that tells me that nothing is worth it. Happy? That's the real answer."

At her confession, I realized something I should've realized ages ago. She really wasn't doing well. I knew she was faking half the time. I knew that her emotions were just bottled up inside her, and it was not healthy for her. But I never truly realized that she was in that much pain.

"Avery. I mean it. We can work through this together. Okay?" I reassured her, and her eyes were filling up with tears, and she tried to keep everything together.

"Kyran, my life is not something I can say is bad. Because it's not. My mom gives me everything. I have every thing that I need. My mom never starved me. She gave me everything. She was there when my dad wasn't. She brought me to live with her even when she didn't have to. But, sometimes I want to breathe. And in there...I can't breathe. Sometimes, I just want to leave the house and live by myself. Be free. But I can't do that."

I listened to Avery's words, feeling bad for what she has to go through every single day and still remain perfect. She was struggling, caught between the love and suffocation of her family, unable to find a way to break free.

"Avery, I just need to know," I asked, slightly scared that her answer would hurt me. "Do you like me at all?"

She just sighed and left the corner, and I followed her to English.

She didn't say a word to me at all and just took her seat silently. 

"Welcome, Young Shakespeares! I'm always glad to see such bright minds in the classroom, and this has been proved by the quality of your essays. I'll be giving you the grades back today, and I have to say...I'm genuinely impressed by a few of you."

Mr. Sherman's eyes darted across the room, landing everywhere as he scrutinized us. "Yet some of you have done miserably. You know who you are. You should be taking this class seriously if you intend on doing an AP class."

Several people around me giggled and whispered to each other but on the other hand, there was an anxious-looking Avery who was fiddling with her pen.

"Why are you so stressed? You're going to get an A+ as usual. What's new?" I groaned, and she looked up and glared at me. Her eyes filled with venom, she stared into my eyes, and it felt like she was going to rip my soul apart.

Max, who was sitting behind us, tapped me on the shoulder.

"Kyran, why does she look like she wants to stab you?" he asked, his voice low so that only I could here. However, he seemed to have not realized that Avery could hear him too.

"I'd prefer if you didn't talk about me as is I wasn't here." She turned away and faced Mr. Sherman and took her essay. He smiled and nodded at her, and when she looked at her essay, I saw her eyes darken slightly, and she placed it upside down on her desk. Mr. Sherman then handed me mine and nodded approvingly.

I was slightly confused but to my surprise, there it was. An A+ on the sheet that Avery and I worked an entire night on. To be fair, I was surprised he even liked the essay, considering the fact I completed it the night before.

His nod of approval made a lot more sense now.

As Mr. Sherman continued to distribute the graded essays, I noticed Avery feeling uneasy. Her reaction to receiving her grade was peculiar, to say the least, and I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in her mind.

I watched as Avery looked around, searching for something and expertly glancing at one desk to the next. It was almost like she was examining everyone. No, she wasn't examining them. She was examining their grades.

There was murmur and complaints among everyone, but Avery remained unusually quiet, her gaze fixed on the desk and the back of her essay. There was some serious tension radiation off her, and I wondered if something was bothering her beyond just the grade.

"Kyran," Max whispered from behind me, nudging my shoulder. "What's up with Avery? She seems... off."

I shrugged, unable to offer a satisfactory answer. "I don't know, man. She's been acting weird lately. Maybe something's bothering her."

I knew that it was possible for her to hear us, so I lowered my voice lower than I thought I could. But she wasn't even listening. She was staring at the paper, and it would've been better for the paper to just burn off and crumble into ashes.

Max frowned, his brows furrowing in concern. "Well, whatever it is, I hope she's okay."

I nodded in agreement, silently acknowledging Max's observation. Despite our rocky history, I couldn't deny that Avery was a good person, and seeing her distressed didn't sit right with me.

Once Mr. Sherman had handed out all the essays, he cleared his throat and addressed the class. "Alright, class, before we move on to today's lesson, I want to take a moment to discuss the grades and the standards of this class. Now, many of you did very well. I found them very interesting. Although we had many good essays, we only had few exceptional ones. And notably..." he stopped and looked at me, "one A+ in this class."

If I was the only person to get an A+, that meant...

Avery.

She didn't get the A+. She looked up at Mr. Sherman and from his eye contact, she could tell who that essay belonged to even if the others didn't care. She looked at me for a brief moment, smiled and looked away again, staring into space.

As the class continued, I couldn't focus on what Mr Sherman was saying. My mind kept drifting back to Avery, wondering what could be troubling her. Was it something related to her mom? Or her sister? Or was it just her grades? Was it something else entirely?

The fact that there could be so many things that could distress her was frightening enough.

Before I knew it, the bell rang, signaling the end of the period. I packed everything and prepared to leave, but glanced at Avery, who was still sitting at her desk, lost in thought.

I hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not to ask her. In the end, curiosity got the better of me, and I poked her.

"Avery," I said softly. "Are you okay?"

She looked up, her eyes meeting mine, and for a moment, she looked like she was going to say something. "I'm fine," she replied curtly, but her tone lacked conviction.

I didn't buy it for a second. What she told me earlier was enough to tell me that she wasn't fine at all.

"You don't seem fine," I pointed out gently. "Is there something bothering you?"

She hesitated, seemingly torn between opening up and shutting me out. But eventually, she sighed, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "It's nothing, Kyran. I'm just...a horrible person."

I didn't know what she was talking about, and it was very possible that she wouldn't elaborate on what she just said. But I knew something.

People who say they're horrible are never horrible.

⋆·˚ ༘ *

Oh my goodness, my lovely readers,

It's been so long! I've missed writing this so much, you have no idea. I decided to dip my toes into the ONC this year and I ended up finishing an entire novella in the span of three months. Wow, that was amazing!! BUT WE'RE BACK. We're back to the chaotic lives of Avery and Kyran. 😂

And we're also back to my long, 3000 word chapters. 

I want to say thank you for sticking with me, and reading and sometimes re-reading. That means so much to me. Every single read, vote, comment means a lot to me. I appreciate it so much. 🫂🤗

Anyways, apart from that...I have exams next week. Yup, finals. But am I going to update? Yes.

Thank you, you wonderful beans!

Lots of love and huggles,

Audrey. 💕😘