"ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ, ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴜʀᴛ. ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʙᴜᴍᴘ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴏᴀᴅ ɪ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴡᴇʀᴠᴇ...ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

*Trigger warning: heavy emotional stress/panic*

⋆·˚ ༘ *

When people tell me that I'm moody, I snap at them. They seem to immediately think that this is the ultimate proof that I'm a moody guy in his teenage crisis spectrum when I'm simply not in the mood to be called moody. Some may blatantly disagree.

This was exactly what Max told me when he was at the other end of the room while Avery was busy on her long one-hour shift at Ms. Walton's office. We were supposed to be at the mall by now, getting coffee but duty called and Avery had vanished into the dangerously dark realms of Ms. Walton's reception work.

"The love of your life will be here in half an hour, calm down," Max exclaimed, a playful smirk on his lips. "I know all about your history with her. Perks of being your best friend."

"She's not the love of my life. She's helping me and I'm helping her. Not that deep," I replied, gazing over the room to see if she was going to arrive anytime soon.

Max chuckled, shaking his head. "Sure, sure. Deny it all you want, Kyran."

I rolled my eyes, not bothering to argue further. Max always had a knack for teasing me about my relationship with anyone, even when there was nothing noteworthy. Sure, Avery and I had a strong bond, but it was purely platonic.

"Avery and I are going to get coffee."

"Like a date?" Max asked, his grin growing wider. "Understandable. If I were you, I'd totally take Avery out."

"No. It's a friendly outing. Like, when friends go outside and you hang out with them... you know what I mean?" I explained.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Avery emerged from the depths of the office, her smile brightening the room as she approached us. "Sorry for the wait, Kyran. Ms. Walton needed me to fix some last-minute stuff for the fair."

"No problem, Everly. I was just keeping Kyran company," Max said with a mischievous grin, earning a shove from Avery.

"My name is Avery and Kyran, could you not feed people wrong information?" she said, her arms folded.

"Sorry, Aves. I couldn't help but let it slip when I was expressing my undying love for you," I teased, earning a mock gasp.

"Is that so? Well, I hate to break it to you, Kyran, but I'd rather be in love with a monkey," Avery replied.

Max high-fived her. "Ooof. That must have hurt Kyran. Right in the ego. Great job, Everly."

She frowned.

Avery grinned, nudging me. "Don't worry, Kyran. You're still my favorite coffee companion."

"I'm your only coffee companion," I muttered, earning a very Avery glare.

It was already almost midday, nearly a bad time to get coffee. It was lunchtime for normal people, but it had been long established that there was absolutely nothing normal about us. I was crazy and chaotic, and so was Max and Avery was another sort of crazy.

We were standing in the hallway, clogging up space as everyone was preparing for the fair. A lot of our year had left already either to go to Michaela's party or to do whatever it was they liked to do. However, Avery was patiently waiting for the fair set up to finish before she could get her coffee.

Even though she acted like a zombie when she didn't have her caffeine dose in the morning.

She was selfless like that. She pretended that not everything had to be about her. She had this feeling that she should be the one taking care of everyone and everything else. She never realized that she was one of the few people who did it too.

Max leaned against the nearby wall, oddly amused as he watched Avery get mad at me for forgetting a small formatting on the essay that I had just handed in. With a smirk, he decided to interject again, unable to resist the opportunity.

"Looks like you two are having quite the moment here," Max remarked as Avery rolled her eyes.

"Oh please. I'm lecturing Kyran about how he messed up an essay. I don't see how it's a moment."

Max raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "Sure, just friends that bicker like an old married couple."

I couldn't help but groan once again, shaking my head. If Max was trying to get the Averan ship to sail, he was not doing very well. Avery and I were trying to be friends once again, without messing anything up like last time. And here was Max, stirring up a romantic drama whenever he could.

It was like he was getting paid to do this.

Was his fan club coercing him to create this or something? I would never know.

"You're impossible, Max. Can't we have a conversation without you turning this into a reality show?"

Max grinned unapologetically. "Where's the fun in that? Besides, it's not every day I get to witness the romantic tension between you two."

Avery let out a laugh. "Romantic tension? Please, Max. The only tension here is between you and a decent haircut."

My jaw almost dropped as I let out a cough that caused me to choke on something that was most likely just air. When she says stuff like this, I can't help but internally collapse.

"Ouch, Avery. That's cold. Is this because I called you Everly?" Max questioned with a wink as Avery grinned.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"Also, you are seemingly the one other person to know about Kyran's side hustle," Max replied to Avery's astonishment. She took a double take and moved away from me slightly. She cleared her throat and hesitated for a second.

"Um, yes. I guess Kyran told you, huh? Um, yeah. I know about the coding," Avery awkwardly added as Max laughed.

"I've rendered the great Avery Turner speechless. Yeah, I know about Kyran's intense coding missions."

Max's revelation caught Avery off guard, and for a moment, she seemed flustered, shifting uncomfortably.

"Yeah, Kyran's been busy with his coding projects," she said, trying to brush off the subject. Max knew everything about my hacking. He knew the ins and outs of it too. He was one of the only people I trusted with my secret. He was the only person that I knew wouldn't judge me for it too.

He was also my only close friend. Along with Avery, I suppose.

Max's knowing smile widened, but he didn't press further, sensing Avery's growing discomfort. I knew that I had to tell her one day, but maybe not yet. I didn't want her to think that I was evil. I didn't care what anyone else thought to be honest, but if she thought that of me, I don't think I'd ever get over it.

I told Max how Avery stumbled into my secret lair under my room and he thought the whole affair funny. He thought it was perfectly hilarious that we jumped out of a window, got ambushed by the football guys and Avery was stuck in my wardrobe for at least an hour.

I didn't find it that amusing.

"Kyran, we need to check with the coach about the scouts. Why are you procrastinating so much? Let's get it done and over with," Max asked, pulling me by my arm.

There was a good reason why I was avoiding talking to the coach too. I was afraid that if I knew when exactly the scouts would be here, I'd play worse than I normally did. I didn't want that. For Max, everything was a chill affair. He could go about anything with a smile on his face because he didn't have what he called the Kyran effect. The effect where someone had to be unbelievably talented to feel fulfilled or happy.

"Um, sure. I guess I'll ask her now," I muttered knowing that I couldn't avoid it for much longer. If Will found out that I didn't ask my coach about the scouts he'd be more disappointed in me than he already is.

And that'd be a no-go.

Max and I headed towards the coach's office situated in the back of the building, close to the pitches. Max kept trying to make conversation but my mind was elsewhere, preoccupied with thoughts of the upcoming scouts and pressure weighing down on me.

When we reached the coach's office, I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the panic. Max knocked on the door, and Coach Stevens called us in.

"Hey, Coach. Sorry to bother you, but we wanted to ask about the scouts coming to watch our next game," I began as Max nodded beside me.

Coach Stevens nodded, her expression serious. "Ah, yes. The Notre Dame scouts will be attending next week's game at Alleywall. As for Kansas, they'll be here for the one next month. I want you to play the same way you play in every other game. Don't let your nerves get in your way, Kyran. Remember last time?"

Yes, of course, I remembered. It was extremely difficult to forget how I messed up in front of Michigan and Georgia scouts. They came to watch me play on the very same day, the pressure got to me and I made mistakes. These mistakes made me look like an absolute fool but didn't cost my team the game because of our captain who ended up being selected for the elite sports program right afterward. The memory still haunted me, filling me up with dread at the thought of facing those scouts again.

The Michigan or Georgia offer was supposed to be for me, and instead, it went to the others who picked up the game when I fucked up.

Coach Stevens was right. I couldn't let my nerves control me this time. I had to stay focused, play my best, and show the scouts what I was truly capable of.

My mind was warning me to not mess up.

"Thanks, Coach. We'll be ready," I replied, forcing a confident smile.

Coach Stevens nodded, her gaze lingering on me for a moment longer before turning to Max. "And you, Max. Keep an eye on Kyran. Make sure he's in top form for those scouts. "

Max saluted. "You got it, Coach."

Coach Stevens smiled. "Now you two, shoo. Do something fun instead of wasting your time waiting around here."

Max and I exited the room and let Coach Stevens do her work, which involved calling more scouts for the sophomore players who were choosing to take football more seriously. I was always obsessed with football. I had always known that football would be a gateway to a great college, not my grades. Although I had put effort into studying, I wanted to do more. I wanted to be good at more. It became so important to me that football, grades, and coding had to be given the same importance.

Although I did mess up on the grades part last year. Not that I regret it because otherwise, would I ever have made up with Avery? Probably not.

The universe has its ways.

"That went surprisingly well. Coach seems to be in a better mood today for some reason. Probably because no one is here," Max laughed and I smiled. Coach Stevens was always in an on-off mood when it came to being our coach. Sometimes she became one of those inspirational podcast presenters and the next day she would be screaming at us for choosing not to take a shot when we could've in her opinion.

And people tell me I'm moody.

"Kyran, I'll just get the car ready. I'll drop you and your girlfriend off for your lovely date. Maybe go to Michaela's party. You sure you're not going?" Max asked and I shook my head. If there was one thing I wasn't in the mood for, it was a Michaela-filled party.

With that, Max left the building leaving me alone to find Avery who seemingly disappeared from our earlier. I searched around to see if she was around to no avail. I pulled out my phone and called her.

She didn't lift.

I sent her a few messages letting her know that I was waiting.

Just then, Noah Hart, one of the guys on the basketball team ran past me with his bag slung across his shoulder. He smiled at me before turning around and stopping in his tracks.

"Yo, Kyran what the fuck are you doing here? Your girlfriend's out there doing something weird," Noah shouted out as my eyes widened in shock. Where was Avery? What happened to her?

"Noah, where is she? Have you seen her?" I asked as Noah turned around with his gym bag slung across his shoulder.

"Around the lockers, man. Near the old drama room? She was trying to open a locked room or something. She was frantic when I passed by her. Gemma and the others were around there as well."

"Thanks, Noah," I replied quickly as I hurriedly made my way toward the old drama room, my mind racing with worry. What was she trying to open a locked room? And why was she so frantic about it?

As I rounded the corner, I spotted Avery kneeling in front of the storage room, a determined expression on her face as she fiddled with the lock. Gemma and a few others stood nearby, watching her with smiles on their faces.

It wasn't until I got much closer that I saw what made her so frantic.

There was a younger student, a girl, probably in Freshman Year. She was banging at the door as Avery tried to crack the rusty lock open. Her eyes were bulging red, like she was fighting back tears as the girl inside started to calm down watching Avery try to break open that lock.

I'd never seen her like this. Avery's usually composed demeanor had completely dissolved into a whirlwind of panic and determination. Her hands shook desperately as she desperately tried to manipulate the stubborn lock, her fingers fumbling with the hairpin as she attempted to pick it. She gulped, her usual amber eyes, now red and frightening.

Gemma and her friends stood around amused and entertained at Avery's sudden breakdown. Gemma was standing there with a smile, without a care in the world.

"Hey, just let it go. Jesus. Just call someone to break the lock. It's not that deep," Gemma stated as some of her friends giggled.

Avery turned around furious. "Easy for you to say. Since you locked her in there. What if she's claustrophobic? What if she's scared of this? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

The girl inside had tears on her face and she pounded on the door, her voice barely audible as she begged to be let out. My heart sank at the sight and her screaming pleas from inside just made Avery panic even more.

Avery was starting to sweat and with each failed attempt, her breaths came out in short, shallow gasps, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

There was seriously something wrong. This was more than saving this girl from inside that room.

Without a second thought, I rushed forward to join Avery at the door. I knelt beside her, and she was shocked to see me. My heart broke looking at her. She didn't look that scared, even that day when her mom found out about us. No one had ever seen her freak out so much.

Ever.

"Avery, let me do it," I said urgently, my voice steady. She nodded, her hands still shaking as she handed the hairpin to me. Avery moved slightly back and started taking deep breaths and for a moment, I decided to focus on the task at hand.

Once this girl was out of this room, I could focus on Avery.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my own nerves as I focused on the stubborn lock before me. Avery's panic was contagious, but I pushed it aside, channeling all my energy into the task at hand. I moved closer to the door as I tried to find out why the lock wasn't working.

I gestured to the girl inside to move back and shoved the door back. It seemed like it was jammed between the doorframe, causing the lock to become even more stubborn. With a lot of effort, I pushed harder, feeling the resistance slowly give way.

With careful precision, I inserted the hairpin into the keyhole again, my fingers moving deftly as I tried to manipulate the lock now that whatever was jamming was gone. The girl inside stopped pounding on the door, but her cries got slightly louder.

Avery watched anxiously, her hands clasped together as she started pacing from one spot to another. A lot of Gemma's friends disappeared, probably scared that they'd get in some sort of trouble for what happened. That was just more bad luck. There was barely anyone around here now because of the fair. It just made it that much harder.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the lock clicked open, the door swinging open to reveal the frightened girl inside. The girl let out a muffled cry of relief, her face tear-stained.

"Are you okay?" I asked the girl as she walked outside.

Gemma decided to interject. "I don't get why this was such a big deal. If the door was stuck, you could've just called someone. She's not gonna be stuck there forever like damn, so dramatic for no fucking reason."

The girl inside nodded, her voice trembling. "Th-thank you so much."

Avery nodded and looked down at the floor.

"No probs. Are you okay here? Do you need someone to drop you off somewhere?" I asked, eager to finish this so I could check on Avery. Before the girl could respond, I heard a scoff behind me.

Gemma.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Let's get out of here."

With that, she left. Without apologizing. Without checking if this girl was okay. Without worrying that she had done something wrong. I knew she was expelled for doing this very thing in her old private school. I used the point against her multiple times too. When no one else knew anything about this new rich girl, I made sure that I found out everything about her.

However, I'd have hoped she changed. I was lying to myself.

Finally, there was no one else around. Just me and Avery. Just us. Avery kept her eyes on the ground, her cheeks tinged scarlet. She quickly sniffled and turned away, pretending like nothing happened.

"Avery?" I called out and she didn't say anything. She didn't turn around. She was still.

I walked over to her and noticed her hand trembling slightly. I grabbed her hand before it got worse. Soon, both of her hands were in mine and I was kneeling in front of her. She was still slightly sweating, her usual steady gaze now darting around frantically. She was trying to look at everything but me.

"Avery, it's okay. It's okay," I said, "You can look at me."

She hesitated for a moment before nodding, but I could see the lingering traces of panic still etched on her features. "Yeah, I'm fine. It just...caught me off guard. Um, let's go. Coffee. Yeah."

I nodded. "I get it. That was a lot to handle."

She let out a shaky breath, her shoulders slumping slightly as she leaned against the wall for support. "I just...I don't know why I reacted like that. It was like...I was weak? I hate feeling like that."

I moved closer to her. "Ave, it's okay. You're not weak, okay? You tried to help her even though it meant nothing to you. You're super brave so how the hell are you weak?"

I reached out to touch her shoulder, but I felt the tension radiating off of her. "Avery, are you okay?" I asked, concerned.

But my words seemingly made it worse because she was suddenly short of breath and tears welled up in her eyes. "I...I can't...um, I can't breathe," she gasped, her voice barely above a whisper.

Something in me felt off. Something twisted inside me. I had never seen like this before, so vulnerable and close to tears. She hides it so well but there were so many demons that haunted her, much like anyone. But at that moment, all I could do was wrap my arms around her, holding her close as she trembled in my embrace.

"It's okay, Avery. I'm here. Just focus on your breathing, okay? In...and out..."

We just stood there and waited. I watched as her breathing gradually began to steady, her trembling form gradually relaxing against mine. The panic attack seemed to disappear and even as Avery's breathing returned to normal, I could feel the tension in the air around us. I didn't want to ask her any questions that'd make her uncomfortable or anxious. I could ask her later.

As she pulled away slightly, her eyes met mine, and I could see the traces of exhaustion etched on her face. "Thank you, Kyran," she murmured softly, her voice barely audible. She calmed down by now, her eyes no longer burning red and her face color restored to her normal one.

"Do you want to go home? I'd totally understand if you-" I began before she cut me off.

"No. Let's go and get that coffee. Maybe let's do something else as well. Maybe go to Michaela's party?"

I hesitated. "Do you really want-"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay. Let's go then," she said, pointing to the door with a smile on her face.

And people still say I'm the one with insane mood swings. 

⋆·˚ ༘ *

Welcome back to another week! 👋

A real emotional roller coaster this chapter was. Just like the title said. It was meant to be. Max is being a superb wingman for Avery and Kyran which is pretty iconic. 👻

Are we enjoying Kyran's POV? You might've noticed that the update day has been changed to Tuesday. That's my fault because of the ONC. Since I'm working on two books at the same time, it takes a little bit more time for me to finish editing and stuff like that. 🥲

On the topic of not having time, I have to say...COLLEGE IS HORRIBLE. It's downright horrible. I went in trying to be an iconic woman in STEM and now, I'm like drowning in work and on the verge of failing one module. 🤯🤯

But all's well. Hope everyone reading this is doing well lol. 😁

That's all I have for now and I'll see you guys next Tuesdayyyyy 👏

XOXO

Audrey. 💕😘