"ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴀᴋᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀʏ, ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴇ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʟᴇɢᴀᴄʏ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

⋆·˚ ༘ *

When you live an entire life based on expectations, you try very hard to break them. Otherwise, you would get stuck in limbo, trying to keep everybody happy and you lose your sanity.

Avery Turner does that.

She doesn't realize the weight of it, so she does it. She does it every single day. She seemingly sacrifices everything that could make her happy because she's obsessed with what everyone else thinks about her.

The most iconic part about it is, that she defends herself too! She acts as though her life depends on getting to Princeton, and getting her appreciation letters from all the teachers and her mother...

That's something that I can never get her to admit, even if the world came tumbling down before her.

She just wouldn't do it.

Avery was someone you just couldn't help but notice in a room. She was a firecracker, a montage of all the perfection a person can have. People envied her, some hated her because of how iconic she seemed.

Some admired her.

Many guys, I'll leave it at that.

Every time I saw her, I couldn't help but feel frustrated. Frustration, because she was someone my parents would love to have. Frustration, also because she seemed to be trapped in a never-ending cycle of trying to meet everyone's expectations.

She was a paradox, a contradiction wrapped in multiple layers. On the surface, she exuded confidence like she didn't care about the world at all. She probably didn't, to be fair. She tackled everything head-on with unwavering intelligence. But beneath that, there was more. There had to be much more to Avery Turner. I sensed some vulnerability, a longing maybe, to break free from everything.

I had known of Avery for years. Of course, I did. She had made her mark the second she entered this school, even if she remained blissfully unaware. There were moments when she let her guard down when she believed no one was looking. I caught such glimpses. Like, when she narrowed her dark amber eyes when was irritated. Or when she flipped the strands of her auburn hair back when they got in her face.

She was a true master at hiding her true feelings, burying them too far down. She never let anyone get close to her. It makes sense because people would either a) ridicule her or b) sabotage her.

People aren't very nice to those who don't suck up to them. Trust me, I know.

She was a force to be reckoned with and quite simply, I don't think even my parents call me out as much as she does. I find it unbelievably funny, and sometimes scary because damn, does that girl know how to scream.

Avery struggles with expectations, and I couldn't help but draw parallels to my own life. Growing up in a family where success was not just expected but demanded, I knew all too well the pressure of living up to everyone else's standards.

My birth father didn't exactly care. He saw that I was obsessed with football and computers. He saw it both, and he chose to ignore them both. My mom, on the other hand, saw my passion for football and envisioned a great star player.

My father was pissed that my mom was paying many dollars for football training, whereas he wanted her to give him her money for his start-up ventures.

They often failed.

"Michael, there's no way I'm giving you my money again," my mom screamed when my dad brought home another bankrupt business document.

"Why? You'd rather pay for his stupid football?" he demanded as my mom slammed the door behind her, preventing me from hearing their argument.

It didn't matter how well she tried to conceal the truth of their broken, toxic relationship. I was able to hear it through the doors.

"Michael. This is the fifth time your business idea has gone bankrupt. Do you even realize that?"

"Of course, Emily. Not everyone has a job where they're raking in hundreds of thousands of dollars!"

My mom's voice quieted. "It's my money. I'm not giving it to you anymore."

There were hours of agonizing silence where I heard absolutely nothing. Not even a pin drop.

Then, my dad left.

He tried to sue my mother, and then she met Will.

I was in middle school when it happened. My mom had to do extra hours at her research clinic to make time for the court hearings. Will supported us through it all. He was there for her over the two years that my dad tortured my mom with his constant nagging and demands.

I used to often end up hanging out with Yashna and technically babysitting her little sister Isha when mom was busy with Will.

I had seen it coming, to be entirely honest.

Will was everything that my father wasn't - kind, supportive, and genuinely caring. He used to have hour-long conversations with me about my future plans. He was more interested in my interests than anyone ever was.

He treated my mom with the love and respect she deserved, and for the first time in my life, I saw her truly happy.

Will became the father I never had, and as for Yashna and Isha, they'd already decided that I was their brother. Isha particularly since I was there since she was one. I doubt she even knows that I'm her stepbrother and not her brother.

Even as my mom found happiness with Will, I couldn't shake the feeling that I would somehow fail them both. My dad's insistence that I was useless, actually made me more of a perfectionist when it came to football.

Determination drove me for years.

Coding came much later, in fact, I only got into it when I started high school. I had already been one of the best young football players in the city, perhaps the county, but I wanted to be good at something else...

I stumbled upon my old coding notes from middle school before my dad left. I used to write snippets of code from websites and test them out myself.

But as I delved back into the world of programming, I found something that football never gave me.

A sense of power, and fulfillment.

Coding became my escape. The door from my closet to the basement was something no one in my family even knew about. I stumbled upon it the day Mom and I moved into Greenfield Avenue.

Funnily, coding was something no one could judge me on. It was far away from the pressures of football and getting perfect grades. It was something I could excel at on my own terms. I found myself delving deeper and deeper into dangerous tech that genuinely changed my life.

Soon, I had mastered quite a few programming languages, holed up in the basement far inside, away from everyone. And, after that, I got into hacking.

There were many things I knew about hacking.

I knew that it was wrong to learn. I knew it was dangerous. I also knew that it was illegal.

However, the allure of hacking was truly irresistible. It was the ultimate challenge, the chance to test my skills against the seemingly penetrable defenses of the internet and devices. I was curious and I was determined. I began to explore.

I started with my phone, then my friends, then more secure systems like the school, and then colleges...

I pushed myself beyond boundaries that I didn't even know existed.

At first, it was just innocent experimentation, harmless searching, and learning about how to break into systems. I delved deeper, and it was intriguing, almost maddening. Everything I wrote on the computer was a weapon, and every successful breach was a victory.

I savored the victory.

I knew I was playing with fire, dancing on the edge of a venture that could easily swallow me whole, and leave with absolutely nothing. The thrill of the chase, and the adrenaline rush of outsmarting the most sophisticated security systems, was intoxicating.

When everything was going so well, there was no reason for me to stop. I continued doing it, driven by determination and it was a world where success wasn't measured by the number of touchdowns or grades, but the strength and accuracy of a few lines.

Avery and I weren't so different. We are both prisoners of expectations and struggle to break free. The main difference between us lay in the fact that I found an escape, while she suffered in silence.

Expectations.

There were questions I didn't have answers to, and to be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to find out. For too long, I had allowed myself to be defined by other people's expectations - my parents, my coaches, my friends, and even Avery's. Now, I knew that there was something that none of them could dictate.

Until Avery found out about everything.

Avery Turner, is the seeker of mysteries, the ambitious teenager, and the heartbreaker.

She had done it once, and now she was ready to do it again.

It was freshman year when we first met. I mean, officially talked to one another. She was fierce and I was amused. Our meeting wasn't entirely pleasant either.

I found her in the library, her arms folded and her dark hair in waves, talking back to an assistant teacher in Physics.

"I think it's very presumptuous of you to believe that I wouldn't be able to do Physics. Just because I did very well on the exam does not mean I cheated!"

Mr. Marlon, who was long since fired, scoffed. "Nobody, in my fifteen-year career managed to do so perfectly on a test. It's okay to admit that you cheated. I'll ignore it because it's your first year."

I watched, ignoring the books in my hands as she moved back and sighed, "I did not cheat. I've been studying for weeks. Do you want me to redo the test or something to prove that I didn't cheat? I'm prepared to do it right now."

Mr. Marlon didn't budge. "This is being reported. I'll take this to Ms. Walton and we'll see what she says. I'm giving you one last chance, admit it and I'll let you go."

Avery's jaw clenched, her amber eyes flashing with defiance as she stared down Mr. Marlon. "I won't admit to something I didn't do," she declared, her voice ringing out as I kept standing there, motionless.

Mr. Marlon shook his head in disbelief, clearly unwilling to believe Avery's protestations of innocence. "Very well, Miss Turner. We'll see what Ms. Walton has to say about this," he replied tersely, his tone dripping with skepticism.

I saw Mr. Marlon's face flushed with frustration as Avery challenged him, her tone sharp and defiant. Despite her badass argument, she seemed awkward and uncertain and I just couldn't help my savior complex.

And so, I placed the books in my hands on the desk nearby and casually made my way over to them. With a smirk playing on my lips, I approached her, my footsteps echoing against the polished floors of the library.

"Hi, Mr. Marlon. Is something wrong?" I interjected. Mr. Marlon turned to face me, his expression wary as he regarded me with a mixture of surprise and perhaps, confusion.

"Kyran," he acknowledged with a nod, clearly taken aback by my sudden appearance.

Avery turned to face me, her expression guarded. "No problem at all," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Just a little misunderstanding with Mr. Marlon here."

I was shocked by her confidence. However, Mr. Marlon was an incredibly irritating man, so I couldn't blame her.

I laughed. "Well, Mr. Marlon. Avery here helped me with studying for that test in three hours. I can vouch for her brilliance in Physics," I said as Avery gaped beside me.

Avery's lips twitched with the ghost of a smile, as Mr. Marlon left the library.

"Thanks, but I think I can handle it on my own," she replied, her tone teasing yet sincere.

She was unlike anyone I'd met before, and there was a spark, or maybe, an understanding between us. We both showed very similar distaste towards authority and expectation.

It was a time when we were both so simple and so unnerving. I was just Kyran, not the Kyran Drake who later became the greatest guy in school. She wasn't the infamous Avery Turner. She was just Avery.

I asked her first. She wore a green, pastel dress that reached her knees. Her hair which was usually pulled back in a ponytail was long and wavy around her shoulders. It was the third time that I'd seen her in a dress.

I knew I had to ask her.

I did and she said yes. It was supposed to be a secret.

It died within five days.

Avery had warned me that her mother was strict and that she didn't allow any sort of relationship. I believed that she exaggerated. It was alright at first. It was exhilarating - the secrets and closed doors.

Her mother found out in five days.

I was outside their house to hand Avery a book she had left at school. I should've known from Avery's apprehensiveness to leave immediately. I didn't and I stood still and tried to make conversation unaware that her mother was listening the entire time.

She was furious, to say the least. The way she stormed outside, her face flushed with anger...I was genuinely frightened by her. I stood there, frozen in place as Mrs. Turner unleashed her wrath upon me and Avery.

"Avery, what did I tell you about this?" she seethed, her voice trembling with barely contained rage. "You're not throwing your future away for some boy."

She pointed at me. I wanted to interject and tell her that I was just helping Avery but words seemed to fail me.

That was one of my greatest mistakes.

Avery's cheeks flushed with embarrassment or fear, I couldn't exactly tell then. Now, I realize that it was fear.

"Mom, please," she pleaded, her tone tinged with desperation. I had never seen her plead like this with anyone, not even teachers. It broke me, as I watched tears well up in Avery's eyes. "I don't even know him. He took my notebook to study without my permission."

Mrs. Turner looked me up and down. Perhaps, it was my Pink Floyd t-shirt or my disheveled hair because she nodded. "Interesting. In that case, Avery should report you, shouldn't she?"

Avery's eyes widened in horror as she realized how this would implicate me. She turned to me, panic flickering in her gaze, and looked back at her mother.

I knew that Avery would admit to the truth and say that I didn't steal her stuff. It seemed like Mrs. Turner was someone who'd make an innocent notebook borrow into a federal crime.

Except, Avery didn't say anything.

"It's true, mom. I don't know him," she replied, and my eyes widened in disbelief. A wave of shock washed over me as Avery's words registered in my mind. It felt like a betrayal like a knife being plunged into me. How could she just deny knowing me? I understood that she had to lie to her mother. I could even understand her telling her mother that I stole her stuff. One thing I couldn't understand was why she simply denied knowing me.

She couldn't even admit that we were friends, at least.

Mrs. Turner's expression softened slightly, but the menace was still visible, a hint of satisfaction flickering in her eyes. "See, Avery knows better than to associate with boys like you," she remarked as anger flooded through my veins. "Now, give me that notebook and leave! I'll talk to your parents about this."

I stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to move or speak as Avery and her mother's words echoed in my mind. I felt a sting of Avery's betrayal and back then, it didn't occur to me that Avery probably had her reasons.

Or maybe, she just considered me nothing but a passing acquaintance and a whim. Either way, the realization was a bitter reminder that relationships were not worth it.

I caught Avery's eyes before her mother ushered her into the house again. She looked away, and I sighed and left her front porch.

She tried to talk to me again the day after, secretly. She tried to catch me before I left or pretended to talk to me about some assignment. I ignored her every time. She tried for a month and after the spring break, she gave up entirely.

She stopped acknowledging me entirely. She pretended she didn't even know me. She soon became the greatest Avery Turner, whom everyone either admired or hated.

I won the first championship game and became Kyran Drake.

We dissolved away, fading away like a distant memory. Avery and I became strangers once more, two ships passing in the night, our paths diverging with each passing day.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of regret, as I watched her drift further and further away. She moved away so much that there was no way anyone could ever believe that we once knew each other. There was a part of me that was relieved, relieved that I didn't have to deal with the complexities of a relationship ever again.

I decided that no relationship could last longer than a few months.

Ever.

Sophomore year came along and I buried myself deeper into football, and coding and ignored my studies. I focused solely on becoming the best football player I could be, channeling all my energy and frustrations into the game. Avery focused on becoming the greatest student this world has ever seen.

It's been nearly two years, and there were moments when memories of Avery would resurface and I would get angry and pissed. I couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal, the bitterness of her denial, and I also wondered if she thought about me sometimes.

So when Ms. Walton assigned Avery to be my tutor, I was apprehensive. I knew that Avery was going to have to ask me one day.

I just expected it to be in secret, not in front of the entire cafeteria.

She told me that my grades were a pile of shit and that I was pretty much stupid. I still found it incredibly amusing. I knew she had a point about my grades, but her straightforwardness almost reminded me of the same Avery who screamed at the Physics tutor.

I would be lying if I said that Avery before our relationship and Avery after our relationship were very different people. Avery never talked back to any teacher after, she never let anyone close to her. She became dangerously self-invested. The fierce Avery soon disappeared.

"Kyran, don't make this awkward. I'm just tutoring you and technically, I don't even know you," she said to me during our very first study session.

"Yeah, you made it very clear that you didn't know me," I murmured and she sighed.

"Can you just not?" she replied, her voice tinged with frustration. "Look, I'm here to help you improve your grades, not to rehash the past. Can we just, get this chapter done with?"

I nodded, my veins burning from sitting in such proximity after so long. Even in that English class, she felt dangerously close to me, and I felt the same fire I felt the first day I met her.

Despite her hate towards me, I couldn't deny that she was an excellent tutor. She was organized, her explanations were clear and she helped me.

Soon, I saw the glimpses of the Avery I once knew appear now and then. I found myself enjoying her presence, and she seemed to enjoy mine. Our study sessions reignited a spark, however faint it may have been.

I found myself wanting to spend more time with her, even if I was studying, than with my friends.

One evening, as we sat poring over our textbooks in the library, I decided to broach the subject that had been weighing on my mind.

"Avery, can I ask you something?" I began, my voice tentative.

She glanced up from her notes, her expression guarded. "What is it?"

I hesitated, unsure of how to phrase my question. "Why did you... deny knowing me that day?" I finally blurted out, my words coming out in a rush.

Avery's eyes widened in surprise, her features softening slightly. "Kyran, that was a long time ago," she replied, her tone tinged with sadness. "I... I had my reasons."

Her response only served to fuel my curiosity further. "But why couldn't you just tell your mom the truth? That we were friends or at least acquaintances?"

Avery sighed, her gaze dropping to her lap. "It's complicated, Kyran. You wouldn't understand."

I felt a surge of frustration at her evasive answer. "Try me," I insisted.

She hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip as if contemplating her next words. Finally, she looked up, meeting my gaze head-on.

"Let's just say that I had to protect myself," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "And sometimes, that means sacrificing things..."

I nodded and didn't press her further. I knew she had her reasons, I just didn't take it particularly well.

Our study session became the highlight of my day, and I found myself looking forward to our time together more than anything else, even football and coding. We laughed over random things, even how ridiculous our fake dating fiasco was.

I think what she loved about it was how it had no expectations, unlike a real relationship.

Even if we were pretending to be dating, I loved spending extra time with her and she knew it. Even if she didn't say much about it.

If there was one thing I knew well about her, it was how guarded she was.

Another thing about her, she's the greatest liar this world has ever seen.

But then again, aren't we all?

⋆·˚ ༘ *

Welcome to Kyran's POV!!👋

I had so much fun writing this, and honestly, it was also a stressful time. Hence, the later update. However, It was interesting writing things from Kyran's point of view because boy is smitten... and Avery just misled you all! 👀

Anyway, I hope anyone who's doing the ONC is having an exciting time. I sure am, I just submitted my entry for 2000 words. I know I should keep working on the ONC more, but yes, it's a work in progress. (And, sci-fi is a new genre I'm trying out so we'll see how well I do it)😬

Life updates: Single for yet another Valentine's Day. I might've failed my Linear Algebra Quiz and also, I toppled on the stairs this morning. Such a lovely start to this lovely week.😮‍💨

Wish you guys a lovely Valentine's Day and if you're single like me, why not have a Galentine's day with your friends?😂

Finally, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter and pretty please, vote if you liked it. 

Signing off, 

Audrey.💕😘  (BA in being single)