"ɴᴏᴡ ᴡᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ꜱᴏʟᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

⋆·˚ ༘ *

If stress were a person, they would fall in love with me immediately. We would have a long-term relationship that made everyone envious because we were so in love. Stress would be totally obsessed with me.

When I hit the doorbell for my front door that night, many thoughts were running through my head. My mom's anger, my sister's exam, Ms. Walton, my grade, my study schedule, my extra-curriculars, Kyran fucking Drake and...

I waited patiently outside, knowing that my mom was cursing me to Eliza as she amusedly watched me suffer. She enjoyed it, I think. The yellow, bright, luminous lights were all around the house. It created a large burst of colors that can be seen from the outside as well. They were both ready to pounce at me the second they decided to open the door.

"Get in," I heard a voice firmly say as I made my way through the inevitable hell hole; that is the door of the house. My sister was sitting, her legs on the couch, studying, or should I say pretending to study while my mom guided me to the living room.

She sat down on the maroon-leathered couch, while Eliza removed her headphones and watched intently, waiting for the bomb to explode.

"What did you tell your teacher?" she asked me slowly, and her tone frightened me. I didn't move a muscle as I stood my ground and explained.

"No. She asked me if it was anything important, you'd have to call the school. But that's all," I said and she huffed.

"She thinks she's your parent. Why don't you just go to her then?"

Oh, I really wish I could. You have no idea.

I didn't say anything because this was a rhetorical question. Silently, I watched as Eliza kept her headphones off, her books closed, and her attention on my mom and me. I knew that I was in trouble in the first place because she wanted me to teach my sister for her exam tomorrow. But, I didn't see any signs of my sister feeling the fear of having an exam tomorrow.

My mom gave my sister a warm smile. Eliza gave her a grin that made me cringe but it made my mom happy. She turned her attention back to me as the frown reappeared on her face.

"Your dad was exactly like this. He never did anything for the family and always helped out others. You are just like him, why don't you go then. Since you don't care about the family?"

I looked down, knowing that it was another rhetorical question. Tears were forming in my eyes again. She often compared my dad with me, even though, I had barely met him.

"Get the whiteboard and teach your sister. GO!" she suddenly screamed and I hesitated.

"Mom, I have two assignments due tomorrow. Can I please finish them first?" I asked slowly, my voice shaking. Since I didn't go to Environmental Science or my elective, I had to catch up by tomorrow. That was the deal I had with Ms. Walton.

"Do you actually dare to ask me that? I don't care if you stay up all night to do your work! But, you need to do what I told you to do now," she shouted and Eliza had her headphones back on. I was surprised that no one ever came to our house to ask what was actually wrong because my mom was always screaming or shouting or breaking or hitting.

I didn't argue anymore as my mom left the room and went up the stairs. She turned around once and looked at Eliza, her dearest daughter.

"Eliza, tell me if she does anything wrong, will you? I'll sort her out," she said, glaring at me while leaving. I placed my backpack on the side of the couch, making a mental note to take it up to my bedroom after this.

Sulking, I dragged the whiteboard and the markers. Teaching Eliza had to be the greatest punishment of all time. She wouldn't listen. She preferred to scream and hit me, instead of actually learning anything for her exam. Because she was under my mom's watch her entire life, and the fact that she was treated like a spoilt princess, she acted like she was entitled. Even though there was nothing to be entitled to.

"What chapters?" I asked as she noisily slurped her milkshake that my mom graciously made for her earlier. I'd have appreciated a milkshake too, but I wasn't going to ask her when she was super pissed off that I didn't love my family.

"Trigonometry," she replied and pointed at her textbook. I took a deep breath, grabbed the textbook, and opened up the chapter. Dragging the whiteboard closer, I poked her.

"Hey, if you want to do well tomorrow, you have to listen to me," I said and she sulked. At least, thankfully she took off her headphones and listened.

"So, the three trig ratios are sine, cosine, and tan. You'll have others but first, you need to get these," I explained and Eliza stared at me uninterested.

This was going to take a long time.

In the end, it did take a long time. By the time I covered the entire chapter, and kept up with Eliza's tantrums, while also making sure she understood the chapter, three hours had gone by. My stomach rumbled, having only eaten two croissants today. I needed to eat and Eliza stalked off to her bedroom while I looked to see if there was anything to eat before working on Environmental Science and Creative Writing.

Opening the fridge, I saw a couple of fruits and vegetables. I had to be real, there was no food shortage in our house. I just wished that mom made something for me too.

I sighed, dragging my backpack that lay at the edge of the couch upstairs to my bedroom. I heard snores coming from the left side of the hall. There was no way I could ask her for food now.

Eliza was playing some music that I couldn't recognize from her room while I stood there, motionless. I went back into my room and closed the door.

I restarted my laptop, opened my emails, and found a three-page personal essay due for creative writing and a brief on the biggest environmental goal that governments should focus on during COP28.

Personal Essay - What are things that you treasure in your everyday life?

When we wake up in the morning, we don't realize that we spend the entire day doing very mundane things. We never stop and think about what we're doing because we've done it a gazillion times before. We don't need to notice them anymore. However, once we do take the time to notice their inevitable significance in our lives, we'll treasure them more...

I finished writing by 1 a.m. Yawning, I downloaded the pdf and saved it to my laptop. I had an environmental science brief to write and my eyes were drooping. I knew that if I finished this, I could potentially get two and a half hours of sleep before I had to wake up at 5:30 again.

When I woke up to my alarm at 5:30, I realized that I had fallen asleep halfway through my brief. My head was on the refill pad that I was writing in. I slept for three hours at least, I guess. I cleared the personal essay off my checklist. Checking my schedule, today was a nicer day. I still had to work 3 hours at the reception. But, I had quite a bit of time to finish my brief before tea and perhaps, tutor Kyran.

I sent him a quick message.

I really wanted to slap him.

Is he for real?

The morning was exactly the same. It was as though nothing had happened the night before. I was used to that by now. I followed the same routine, the same roads, but arrived earlier. I was there by 6:30. The sky was still dusky blue, and the crescent moon was still visible. There were numerous puddles on the rocky floor around Oakland High and once I pushed the pull door, I knew I needed more sleep and preferably more coffee. Yawning for the third time in the past half an hour, I logged on to the computer in the reception and checked the to-do list. There were a few monotonous jobs, like entering the names of all the freshmen into the Excel file and assigning them to their wellness classes. Another very interesting one was following up on the admission applications of some seniors, who've left their statements till the last minute. By last minute, I mean very last minute. They're due in three days.

I Bcc'd the emails to 13 people and copied and pasted the lists to an Excel file with the help of YouTube, considering my very limited knowledge of Excel. I'd finished 2 hours of my shift without any interruptions, being the girl boss that I am.

Thank you, I know.

At half past eight, my brain was drooping. I could feel it malfunctioning and threatening to shut down, meaning I needed more coffee or sleep but given the circumstances, caffeine should suffice. Before I could go anywhere, however, I was stopped by Ms. Walton, clicking her new boots at the side of the reception desk.

"Good morning Avery. You don't look very good. Is everything alright?" she asked and I mentally cursed myself for not checking what I looked like in the mirror before I arrived this morning.

"Good morning miss. Yeah, all's good. Just didn't get enough sleep last night," I replied honestly pointing to my finished cup of Macchiato. She didn't need to know that I was going to get more coffee already. She looked at me suspiciously, looking up and down to find something, but I didn't know what. The silence became too awkward and I cleared my throat.

"Um, I finished the Excel filing and the follow-up emails. Also, done with the scan to the Harvard Admission officer. I didn't send it in yet though, I was waiting for your approval," I told her and she smiled.

"Yeah, that's for Emily Brunston. She's on the shortlist to Harvard for next year, given that she gets an extraordinary secondary application ready by next week. Hopefully, you don't have to go through that hassle and just get into Princeton."

I gave a nervous laugh as she turned on her heel and went back into her office.

The walk to the cafeteria was a long and tedious one, especially at 8:30 a.m. The school halls are usually bustling at this time and it's suddenly like getting through an infinite maze with a never-ending blockade.

By the time I got my coffee, and my books and made it to class, I had 5 minutes to spare and was a panting mess. It gave me a déjà vu of yesterday when I looked like I ran a marathon up the stairs.

English. Here we go.

To my pleasant surprise, Kyran was already in his seat. That was the exact same seat he was in yesterday. As I walked in, I couldn't help but wonder why he didn't sit somewhere else. As if someone could read my mind, a voice nearby bellowed.

"Kyrannnn, why don't you come over here? You don't have to sit next to the Avery bitch you know?" Michaela Walker said in her usual sweet whiny voice. It felt very nice knowing that I was known as 'the Avery bitch' when I haven't done anything to her - literally and figuratively. Also, the comment didn't hurt because the creativity she had in coming up with that insult satisfied my ego.

Kyran turned back to face the beautiful Michaela Walker and said, "I need to get an A in this class, Mic."

Delightful. He is basically using me.

I mean, I am too, so it's even.

I pretended as if I didn't hear anything and casually walked over to my seat. If I could witness that look of sheer terror on Kyran Drake's face again, I totally would. Bro thought that I actually cared what he thought of me. He needs to get his head out of the clouds.

"Excuse me, could I get to my seat please?" I asked formally, and he was taken aback. He didn't say anything and moved so that I could go inside. I placed my backpack on the windowsill, got my books, and waited for Mr. Sherman to begin.

Kyran turned back and shifted uncomfortably. "Did you hear much of that?" he asked as I kept rummaging through my bag to find my pen.

"Much of what?" I asked innocently and he didn't believe me.

"You did hear that," he murmured and this time, it was a statement.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I reassured him as he looked guiltily at his book. "Fine, I did hear about it. But I couldn't care less. I thought I told you that yesterday. My job here is to tutor you and that's pretty much it," I replied, assuredly.

"Yeah, sure. Lucky me," he muttered and I punched him in the elbow. He didn't wince and looked straight at Mr. Sherman who was busy writing on the whiteboard. There, etched in bright red was 'FAIR IS FOUL AND FOUL IS FAIR'

Turning towards the 20 or so people in the class, he asked, in a slow dramatic voice, "Can anyone explain the significance of this? What does it even mean?"

Some hands shot up in the air to my surprise. I was way too tired to answer anything or contribute anything to the class today so I decided to let the others take the credit.

Mr. Sherman pointed to the back of the class where a blond guy laughed. "Isn't that your job, Mr. Sherman? To tell us what it means?"

There were a couple of sniggers around the classroom and I rolled my eyes. Mr. Sherman's face contorted in annoyance and I saw Kyran rolling his eyes as well. He was pissed for some reason and I have a fair idea that it was my fault.

Kyran's voice spoke up beside me. "It basically means good is evil, and evil is good. So, appearances deceive?" I nodded in agreement, out of habit and Mr. Sherman noticed it.

"Ms. Turner. Anything to add to that?"

"Yeah, basically what Kyran said. Maybe the Witches think of themselves as good, although they are representations of evil. Also, the moral compass of characters is pretty much a blurred line so the Witches could also be alluding to that."

"Precisely," Mr. Sherman said, turning his back to us to write on the whiteboard.

1) Appearances deceive

2) Moral compasses of characters

3) Are the Witches good or evil?

"Your homework is to pick one of the three titles here and write a 3000-word essay on the significance of these themes to your initial impressions of the play. Due Friday."

Mr. Sherman spent the rest of the class talking about the moral compass of Macbeth, compared to Banquo who doesn't blindly trust the Witches. Kyran, who would've said something sarcastic or witty by now, hasn't said a word to me this entire time.

Mr Sherman's class dragged disastrously. He was crankier today than he was yesterday, he was very unwilling to keep up with our antics. Neither was I, to be fair. I kept yawning and closing my eyes, and that happened during Macbeth's many monologues.

When I close my eyes, all I see is darkness and ultimately zone out. The trick is to position your head in such a way that you're staring at the book but it looks like you're reading but in reality, you're actually falling asleep. I'd gotten 5-minute bursts of sleep when I was again awoken by my mind reminding me that I was in class. The trick worked until the last 10 minutes of the class.

I could feel shuffling around me and whipped open my eyes in fear that I had missed something, or that Mr. Sherman called upon me to answer his many questions. I was still staring at my copy of Macbeth, apprehensive that I needed to answer a question. That was when I felt a sharp pain in my side.

Wincing, I turned to see Kyran pinching me on the side.

What the actual fuck?

I glared at him and he grinned. "Stay awake, sleepy. Mr. Sherman's handing out extra-credit assignments. Wouldn't want him to see his star student sleeping."

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my coffee which had become cold by now. I kept a strict gaze at the word 'Essay' on the whiteboard while Mr. Sherman seemed to take his time to come our way. As if my fate was crossed enough to make me get in more inevitable trouble, my elbow nudged my coffee cup and I gasped and closed my eyes, not wanting to see the coffee-covered hair of the girl in front of me.

When I finally opened my eyes, it was when I heard nothing but Mr Sherman's voice. I didn't hear the falling cup, or the cold liquid inside splattering the ground. I was most grateful that I didn't hear the girl in front of me shrieking or screaming.

The cup was back in its original position on my desk and I looked to my left to see Kyran staring at me very amused. I stayed silent and took the sheet that Mr. Sherman gave me, violently scribbling my name on top of the page.

"Hey, smartass. What is up with you today? I didn't think I made you that nervous that you would knock over your beloved coffee cup."

I didn't say anything else and decided that I was better off coursing through this awful day without involving myself in any unnecessary drama. It was the end of the first period, and I had involved myself already in too much Kyran drama. I need to keep my mind alive for that at 1 anyway. So, I ignored him and let him have his fun with Michaela Walker who was more than eager to talk to Kyran about...

"... Having you over last night was really good Kyran. You should come over again some time. Does Gemma mind that we're... you know."

Ew. I'd rather not listen to their conversation.

Saved by the bell was never a phrase I thought I would use but yes, I was saved by the bell. Rushing out of a classroom before anybody else was also something I never thought I'd do and there I was, running out of the classroom leaving some curious, some confused, and some happy.

I was surprised myself as well.

Room 256 was on the fifth floor on the East side of Oakland High. It was one of the few rooms that could be booked for student use. Usually, there would be virtually no way to get rooms there without pre-booking at least a week early but working at the reception as the secretary has its perks.

Well, I decided to book myself in for the next semester anyway. Not that Ms. Walton knows.

The corridor on the fifth floor stretched out in serene solitude, given that this corridor was generally uncrowded. The classroom was one of the first ones in the corridor and there was a faint hum of fluorescent lights overhead that were permanently on, even when the sunlight was there. I walked in, the floor echoing the soft, deliberate rhythm of my footsteps.

I checked the time, and it was 12:55. I had anticipated that Kyran would be here a little bit later because his schedule required him to get from the bottom floor to the 5th one, which mathematically takes 12 minutes but with Kyran taking his time and talking to his friends, it might take much longer.

The cool sunlight filtered through the partially closed blinds, casting a mellow glow on the corridor. I reached for the door of the empty classroom, the cool metal of the handle felt reassuringly familiar. I was here multiple times, and the handle was covered in specks of dust, reminding me that I was the first in a couple of months to step foot here.

"Damn, I didn't even know this place existed?" I heard a voice exclaim and I jumped instinctively. Kyran's voice was enormously loud and the echo startled me and brought me back to my senses.

"Well, now you know," I replied as the door creaked reluctantly open, revealing the small classroom that had long been untouched. I was the last person to be here, I had booked it last year to study for my finals. It looked exactly as I had left it, like a quiet sanctuary frozen in time. I walked in first and flicked the light switches on the side allowing light to engulf the room. Kyran followed close behind.

Dust particles hung in the air and I coughed. The whiteboard in the front of the room displayed faint remnants of the words ' definite integrals' and I smiled, remembering my study sessions here. That felt like a distant past.

There were ten wooden desks that were covered in dust particles, and I sat at one of them, near the front. Kyran took the seat next to me. I opened my backpack to reveal his schedule, his report card, and the checklist that I made for him.

"Your current GPA is 2.0," I said and he laughed.

 "Yeah, so what?"

"It means that no college is going to accept your application," I replied and he took a deep breath.

"Instead of telling me that I'm shit, why can't you just help me?" he asked and I suddenly felt bad. Maybe, I shouldn't have said that. That was insensitive of me.

"Okay. Sorry. Mathematically, if you get an A in everything for the rest of your high school life, you can make it to a 3.0 GPA!" I said excitedly as he raised his eyebrows. I cleared my throat.

"You want me to get A's in everything? Are you insane?" he asked incredulously as I looked down. That was not a realistic goal, what is wrong with me?

"Sorry, I mean, you don't need a 3.0 GPA, but the minimum you need is 2.3 but that means you need really good SAT scores. So, you're better off with a better GPA."

He didn't react but looked at the report card on my desk and muttered, "No shit, Sherlock."

I ignored him. Until, he opened his bag and pulled out a mega pack of Cheetos, and M&M's, followed by shortbread assortments, and then three cans of Red Bull. He ripped open the pack of Cheetos and munched on them as I glared furiously.

"I said no snacks."

"I'm not dying on your account!" he replied while munching on the Cheetos. Disgusted, I grabbed his study checklist, which was something better to focus on.

"Can you not make so much noise?" I asked and he continued munching. I swear he's only trying to provoke me more. I showed him his four-page checklist of the study schedules and the success criteria for each of his classes.

"So, 5 AP classes, that's good. Here are the class criteria for those, I did AP Pre-Calculus in Freshman Year so I can help you out with that. AP Lit, we happen to sit next to each other so that's fine," I continued but stopped when I saw Kyran gaping at the pages in front of me.

"Did you do this yesterday?" he asked, looking at the extremely detailed plans that were strategically organized and color-coded. They were double-sided, which meant that yes, I typed out 8 pages of scheduled revision.

"Yeah. Any problem?" I asked and he shook his head.

"No. I was just... Never mind," he finished.

We spent an hour on Osmosis for Biology without any interruptions. I had expected him to create some distraction or not listen to me. It was something I was used to, given that Eliza was always a pain in the ass when I was tutoring. However, teaching and working with Kyran was easy, easier than I thought.

"Is Osmosis a passive or active process?" I asked and he took a couple of seconds in thought.

"Passive," he replied and I clapped my hands.

"And, perfect. There you go, you mastered osmosis," I said, smiling and he grinned, with mischief glinting in his eyes.

"Now, that we're done with studying, I think we need to get to know each other a little more," he told me and I hesitated.

"Um, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, I have a class now and-" I replied, fiddling with the pen in my hand. He seemed to notice that I was uncomfortable and took joy in it.

"We have 15 minutes. Come on! Okay, I'll go first." He stopped, thinking, "I live with my mom, my step-dad, and step-sisters in Greenfield Avenue."

Greenfield Avenue. Damn, he's rich.

He waited for me to say something. "Um, I live with my mom and my sister," I said and he frowned.

"Come on, you're gonna have to give me more than that!" he exclaimed and I sighed.

"Fine. I've been getting straight A's for two years," I told him, hoping that he'd be satisfied but his frown became bigger and he gathered his stuff up and put it into his bag.

"You know what? Forget that I asked. Maybe this is why you have no friends. You don't let anyone in, do you?" he shouted and I was taken aback. I had known that he was short-tempered but I didn't expect him to go off like that.

I bit my lip as I thought about what he said. I mean, he's not wrong, but he's not right either. Suddenly, I felt angry and hurt because this wasn't my fault. But, it also was my fault. I felt my chest hurt from holding too much pressure there. I stopped taking proper breaths as well.

Something in me snapped. "Yeah, you're right. That's why I have no friends. When some people define you as a one-dimensional teacher's pet, and others tell you that you're actually worthless, you can't go and ask, 'Hey, please be my friend. The only thing is, I won't be able to spend time with you because I have to prove myself to certain people who think that I don't deserve anything that I have now!"

I stuffed everything into my bag and avoided eye contact with Kyran, as I stormed past him. Everything comes easy to him, and he doesn't even realize it. He doesn't even know what it feels like, so no, he can't judge me.

"Hey, I'm-" he started to say but I didn't know what he said next because I slammed the door behind him, and walked off to Environmental Science, to hand up my rushed brief that I didn't get to write last night, because I was teaching my sister. 

⋆·˚ ༘ *

This chapter is like, 4500 words long. I don't know if people like longer or shorter chapters more but I started writing and I was on a sugar rush. I was a bit hyper because I'm done with exams. 🤭

And... thank you for reading this super long chapter! I was going to make it shorter, but I thought that it had to have both Eliza and Kyran's study sessions in the same chapter. So, let me know what you thought of it.

If you liked this chapter, please vote, much appreciated ❤️

And a Merry late Christmas to anyone who celebrates. This chapter was supposed to be out yesterday for Christmas but, oh well. 

See you all for the next chapter very soon (😉I'm hinting at New Year's Day)

Lots of love,

Audrey. 💕😘