Broken body. 

Shattered soul. 

--- 

I try to open my eyes, a dull ache in my head. I need a moment to collect my thoughts, to take in my surroundings.
I'm strung up, hanging like a limp lamb ready for slaughter. My hands are bound so tightly I can feel the rope burning into my flesh. My legs are tied to an extreme as well. Feiron must be afraid I'll manage to get loose. And I have every intention to.
We're inside a barn. The rope binding my hands has been tossed over a wooden beam in the ceiling, and fastened to the pole behind me. 

Feiron is standing a few feet away from me, studying one of my daggers; it's one of Adar's. I wonder how he managed to get me in here. I wound him pretty badly, but not fatally it seems. He's bandaged his torso. The cloth is red, but it's starting to look old. He's one tough enemy to kill. Two words I never thought I'd associate with Feiron. But he is, and I will. I must.
I've been stripped down to my shirt and pants. I can see my armor down on the ground beside Feiron, and the rest of my weapons.
The roots of my hair hurt, and I wonder if he dragged me by my braid to the barn. It's come undone, and I can feel the strands about my face. 

"What do you want?" I ask, my voice hoarse. Feiron turns around, sheating the dagger at his waist. His features are so twisted, he looks like an evil beast.
"To have a little fun with my slutty, ex-fiancé." Feiron's eyes turn into two black abysses of vile danger, and I swallow hard.
"Don't worry, Malwen, I might have worshipped your beauty once, but I won't rape you. You reek of him, and I don't want to sully myself with your Uruk filth. His seed has been planted too deep."
"Then what do you want?" The terror I felt thinking of Feiron touching me, forcing himself on me, easing up some.
"To make you scream," Feiron growls. "To hurt you so badly, you'll beg for death before I'm through with you."

This is so familiar, yet so different from how I met Adar; strung up and ready to face judgment for my crimes. He came to kill me, to slay me open, but then he stood before me, reading my soul and my intentions, and his blade remained sheathed. He might have threatened me, yes. He knocked me unconscious, yes. But he had his children to answer to. My children will never forgive me for letting you live this long. Yet, he gave me a second chance, a second life. My heart cried out to his, and he answered; taking it, keeping it. And I have his. And with it, I know I can get through anything. 

"So, where to begin?" Feiron studies me. "I probably don't have much time before we're found. A pity really, I want to take my time with you. I guess I just have to be effective then." He strikes me across my face, my head whipping to the side. He strikes my other cheek, my head flinging left to right, right to left, blood flowing from my nose and split lip.
Pain, I can deal with, I tell myself. For our future, I can deal with it. Live through it.
"I loved you, Malwen," Ferion roars in my face, and I can see tears in his murderous eyes. "So fucking much! You were mine!"
He hits me again, my head spinning from the force.
"I wanted you to survive that night, Malwen. To live, and to find me again."
The last words sound so wrong coming from Feiron. I didn't want to find him. I want to find Adar. 

"You survived, yet you died. Your elven-ness died that night, didn't it? You've become something else? Haven't you, Malwen? Mordo Nehtar. Shadow Assassin of the Southlands. And now you're his fucking wife?!" Feiron punches me in the gut.
"His wife!" he roars, punching me again. "His whore!"
His punches are getting harder, and more relentless, and I can hardly breathe through the pain.
"His fucking whore!" Feiron is becoming more bestial with every blow of his fist.
I'm beginning to see those sinister spikes of stars again, and this time I fear them, afraid they will embed themselves into me forever and bleed me out. I might even prefer it to this, to Feiron's torture. 

I try to ignore the pain, focusing on the barn I'm tied up in instead, on the wooden walls, the hay on the floor, the solid beams, imagining it all burning when the key is turned. Will I still be in here? Burning to a crisp. A whisper on the wind, my ashes crying tears in the shadows of a new land. A land I never get to see, with its new King I'll never get to sit beside. 

Fight for your life! Adar roars in my head. 

I stare defiantly into Feiron's twisted face. Rage fuming from his every pore. I spit in his face, snarling at him. "Fuck you, Feiron! You should have died that night, become warg feed. I mourned you. And then I let you go. You were never right for me. I never loved you, but I did care for you, but a part of you died that night too, Feiron. Didn't it? This isn't the knight I grew up with, was promised to. This is a monster! You're a monster!"
"Takes one to know one," Feiron says as he draws Adar's dagger from the waistband of his pants.
"You savage slut!"
"That's right, I'm Adar's slut. You heard how he makes me scream with pleasure. Pleasure you never did give me. You only took. You're a selfish bastard. A tool who didn't know what he was doing between the sheets," I mock him.
"You're right," Ferison says. "I did take my pleasure from your tight, little cunt, and now I'm going to take pleasure from killing you, cunt." 

I'm unable to say another word, unable to plan a meager escape. I can't do anything but watch as he rams Adar's dagger into my lower abdomen.
Undescribable pain sears through my body, and racks through my every limb. Feiron pulls the dagger free and is about to stab me again, but he stops, his gaze following the blood running down my legs, pooling at my feet.
"Well, will you look at that," he says. "His seed was planted deep."
It takes me a moment to understand what's going on; Feiron's words, the pain mixed with the warmth of blood coming not just from the wound in my gut, but from between my legs. Then it dawns on me; he didn't kill me, he killed another life. Whether it was his countless punches or the stab that caused it, he killed a life that would have been born in defiance of death. My baby. Adar's baby. 

I wasn't sure, not really, though my body's been acting a bit differently, but not enough for me to consider the signs. Umog's also acted a bit suspicious around me, often sending Shaká and Zunn to fuss over me.
I guess I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I might be going into battle pregnant. But now I regret not knowing. Maybe I would have fought harder. Fought and killed Feiron. Eradicated his sinister soul once and for all. But now it's too late. A life is lost, and mine hangs by a thread. But I don't care about my life, I care about the one I never got to meet. 

A grief so soul-shattering, I think it's going to end me, wrecks my body. A sob so animal-like, I can't believe it's coming from me, breaks free from my mouth, and I roar in raw rage at Feiron. He looks stunned, but only for a moment, readying himself to stab me again. Please do, I plead in silence. End me, I can't tell Adar I failed him. 
Feiron is just about to ram Adar's bloodied dagger into me once more, but a voice sounds behind us.
"Halt your blade, soldier!"
Feiron turns around, and above his shoulder, I can see a man with brown, wavy hair looking back at us. His face is splattered with black Uruk blood, and there is a tone in his voice, something lurking; an invisible command. I can see Feiron falling for the allure instantly. The man is handsome, even through my pain, I can see that. And I am grateful. In the end, I'm grateful for him finding us and stopping Feiron. I don't want to die. I want to see Adar again. If he still lives. 
"Who are you?" Feiron asks.
"I am Halbrand, King of the Southlands," he replies.
In my moment of pain and delusion, I manage to snort. He's not the King of the Southlands. Adar is. Or he will be.
"Got something to say, she-elf?" Halbrand asks.
I spit blood, the mere movement sending unspeakable pain through my body.
"I heard screams and thought I'd come and check it out," Halbrand continues. "The battle is under control, most of the Uruks have either been killed or captured, the sunlight keeping them in check. Their agony is sounding loud and hopefully, it will get their commander to talk." 

Their commander. Adar. He's alive! A sliver of hope I can cling to. At least, for now. 

"Well, maybe you should bring her to him," Feiron gestures to me. "This is his wife."
Halbrand eyes me. "His wife you say? Well, well, cut her down..." The man fishes for Feiron's name.
Feiron introduces himself before he starts cutting the rope holding me.
I scream in agony as I hit the floor, my legs unable to hold me. My bound hands splay into the pool of dark, dark blood and tears start streaming down my face, sobs breaking free from my dry throat.
"Never mind her, she just lost the orc filth growing inside her," Feiron explains to Halbrand. 

A last moment of rage seizes me, and I manage to grab one of my daggers on the floor, stabbing it into the back of Feiron's thigh. I'm unable to stand, to stab higher, but it feels good to get one more cut in.
And then I'm lost to grief again, collapsing onto the floor, letting the blood of my baby soak into my clothes. It's all I have. My baby's blood. A life ended before it could even begin.
If I wasn't so weakened, I would have made my last and final stand, taking them both on. But I'm a slaughtered lamb. And as Halbrand lifts me up, he carries me like I am one as well. 

--- 

"Galadriel," Halbrand says as we enter the house where Adar is being held captive.
I don't remember much of how I got here, the pain in my body is unbearable, but I manage to open my eyes to find Adar.

Galadriel is pressing a dagger to his neck, a chroaked "no," leaving my lips as a plea to the commander of the Northern Armies.
"Who is this?" Galadriel asks Halbrand.
"That orc's wife," Halbrand says.
"Uruk," I can hear Adar growl, his neck getting cut as he turns his head to look at me. His eyes widen in horror, and he starts rattling his chains, trying to get up. Galadriel stops him, kicking him down. "Don't move, filth," she snarls at him.
Adar turns his head in my direction again, his eyes full of tears. "Let her go," he says. "It's me you want."
"I don't think you have anything more to tell me," Galadriel says to him. "If Sauron's dead, I don't have further need of you."
I can feel Halbrand's arms stiffen at Galadriel's words, his hold on me getting harder, and I cry out in agony.
"What happened to her?" Galadriel asks, but before Halbrand can answer, Feiron steps forward.
"I happened to her," he says. "And I would have killed her if Halbrand here didn't show up when he did."
"It's a wonder she's still alive," Galadriel says, looking at my hand covering the cut in my gut, blood seeping through my fingers.
"Oh, she is, but what that orc planted in her is no longer growing," Feiron says, sounding rather proud of his dreadful action.
I try to find Adar's eyes through my tears, a sob breaking from my throat, causing my body to hurt all over again.
Adar roars in agony, trashing on the floor, but Galadriel is on him, holding a dagger to his neck again. "Calm down, Uruk," she commands him.
Adar stills, but I can see his body shaking with rage and sorrow. I know he is powerful; he could have destroyed the barn with his bare hands if he so desired, but he's compliant, for me, to protect me. 

Galadriel gets up, addressing Halbrand. "Put her down. She can't hurt us in this state." She sounds almost worried.
Halbrand puts me down gently. Once I'm on the ground, I start crawling towards Adar, every move more painful than the last.
Adar crawls whatever length his chains allow him, and finally, I'm in his arms, sobbing so hard, I think the loss and affliction will kill me.
"Malwen," he whispers. "Malwen, my precious." He kisses my face, his chained hands trying to comfort me. "What did he do to you? There is so much blood. Oh, Malwen," he cries into my hair. 

I manage to wrap my hands around him, holding onto him as I feel like slipping away, a numbness taking over me. "He killed our baby," I cry, unable to say another word. But that's all I need to say.
"Nyë lélë nahta idë!" Adar roars at Feiorn. I will slay you.
"I'd like to see you try," Feiron snarls, taking a step forward, and drawing his sword.
"Enough!" yells Galadriel. "Stand down, soldier. He is not to be touched, or killed by anyone but me. Nor his wife, though she's been traitorous to her kind, she's been through enough. Halbrand, take him outside, I'll be with you shortly."
Halbrand gestures to Feiron to exit the barn first, and then the supposed King of the Southlands follows after him. 

--- 

My body hurts all over, and I wonder how I'm still even here. It must be Adar's love, his hold on me, both body and soul, refusing to let me go. I'm cradled in his arms, one of his hands stanching the blood still seeping from my gut, though in lesser amounts now. 

I look up at Galadriel, who's watching us intently. She seems torn for some reason. Like she doesn't know how to handle the situation we're in. She seemed pretty determined to kill Adar at one point, but now she looks unsure what to do with my distress.  

"This is unnatural," Galadriel mutters, mainly to herself. "An elf, and an Uruk."
"The only unnatural thing about this is the facts we've been given since birth about our enemies," I press out through gritted teeth."No," Galadriel counters, studying us, how Adar holds me, cooing into my hair, trying to soothe my pain. It sounds like it's in elvish, but what he speaks is so low, I can't be sure."I know love for elves is different, but this isn't love, it can't be. This is something twisted."
"It can be, and it is," Adar says. "I'd die for her a thousand times over." 

Galadriel ignores him. "You had a chance to stop him, but you didn't. You were this close to him." She kneels in front of us, drawing her dagger again. Adar's twisting me away from her, growling.
Galadriel presses the knife to Adar's throat again. "This close," she says, her voice like flint.
"Look," she commands me, and I obey, turning my head to look at the silver steel against Adar's pale throat, the previous cut still trickling black blood.
"You're a disgrace to the elven race," Galadriel spits in my face.
"Maybe I don't want to be an elf anymore," I growl.
"Trust me," Galadriel says. "You're not. You're a wicked creature, dark and dangerous."
She seems almost afraid of me, a slight tremble in her voice. "You should be dead. And you will be, the both of you. Though it will be by my hand, there are others out there who want to watch you die. For your crimes upon these lands, and what you've done to these men and women." She slices the knife through the same cut on Adar's throat, deeper this time, black blood flowing down his armor, into my hair.
"Take this time to say goodbye to each other. There is nothing for you beyond death. You will never find each other again, only eternal darkness." Galadriel gets up, staring down at us. 

"Perhaps your search for Morgoth's successor should have ended in your own mirror," Adar says.
"I will not end anything," Galadriel states. "Only you, you slavering Orc. And your Orc-loving wife." She turns to leave.
"Uruk," Adar and I correct her, making her halt momentarily before she leaves us alone. 

---

"Malwen," Adar says when we're unattended. "We don't have much time, and I need you to do something for me."
"Anything," I say weakly, unsure how I can be of any help in my state.
"Drink my blood," Adar commands me.
Since it's not the first time I've done this, having developed quite the taste for his blood after our wedding night, I do not flinch at his request.
He helps me so I can face him, and when our eyes meet I can hardly keep myself from falling to pieces. His eyes are brimming with tears, his bottom lip quivering. He looks how I feel, but we have no time to mourn. I kiss him, and then I lower my lips to his neck, sucking at the blood streaming from the cut Galadriel inflicted on him.
I gulp it down, tasting the hot, dark iron, feeling stronger by it.
"That's it, my love. Take what you need."
I've always wondered why he wants me to drink his blood, but since I crave every inch of him, I've done so freely and curiously. 

I stop after a while, looking up into his eyes again. They're resolute, and I know why. I no longer feel like I'm balancing on the edge of death. I've spun away from its slowing rhythm, my heart a steady beat in my chest. It beats for love, for vengeance, for a blazing future.
"It is almost time," Adar says. "We must be ready." 

I stumble to my feet, the pain in my body almost unbearable, but I grit my teeth and stagger towards Adar's things in the corner; his sword, gauntlet, and a dagger. I saw through the rope binding my hands on Adar's blade, the feel of relief when the burning tightness finally is free from around my wrists pure bliss. If I ever see Feiron again, I will choke the life out of him with my bare fucking hands. I never thought I could hate someone so fully, but the rage that simmers in me buries the crushing emotion of the loss he's wreaked upon us. It keeps me moving forward, knowing vengeance in some form or another, will come down hard on both Feiron and the rest.

"That's good, Mordo Nehtar," Adar says as I free myself, placing the dagger at my waist, taking his sword in one hand and his spiked glove in the other. I walk slowly towards him, the dizziness from all the blood loss and the blows Feiron brought on my head, still working against me.
When I finally reach Adar, I'm ready to fall, but I lean on his long, heavy sword for a moment, gathering my strength. I need to free my Veru.
I use the dagger to pry open his chains, and when he's free of them, he embraces me so fully I can't help letting out a loud sob. It feels unreal to be in his arms, still alive. "I love you so much," I cry.
"I love you too, my precious. My ever brave, Shadow Assassin. You are so strong, indis." Adar's eyes lock on mine before our foreheads meet.

"Let me check if the bleeding's stopped," Adar says, placing a hand on the stab wound in my gut. I notice his hand has a vicious cut straight through it, but it's already healing.
"Who did that to you?" I ask him.
"The man who carried you here," Adar replies.
"Who is he?" I wonder.
"I do not know for certain, but there's something about him..." Adar continues to examine me. It hurts faintly, but I don't think I am bleeding any longer. How, I'm not sure, but I know Adar has something to do with it.
"You healed me again, didn't you?" I ask him.
"However I could considering the circumstances," he nods. "My blood, my words... Your body will heal in time. But what Feiron did to you, to us, that will take an age, believe me."
There's something in his face, a sinister shadow from his past, that makes him look like a fallen warrior. Fallen, and risen again, more dark, more fierce, and more powerful. He knows loss so severely, I'm in awe at his ability to keep fighting. For his children, for the ones who didn't make it. A tear runs down my cheek, and another sob escapes me.
"We will mourn, my love, but we need to move, we're not safe here." Adar caresses my cheek.
"It won't be long till we are," I say.
"Not long at all," Adar nods. And as soon as his words leave his mouth, a loud rumbling sounds throughout the Southlands, and the ground begins to shake. A sudden eruption of what can only be water causes clamor on the outside. 

The look on Adar's face as he stretches out his long, lean body to lay down, placing his left ear to the floor, closing his eyes for a brief moment; a faint smile on his lips... I'll etch the look into my memory forever. 

We ready ourselves, Adar sheathing his sword. Among the uproar beyond the walls of the barn, we hear the force of nature being twisted into destruction, flowing wild beneath the ground to lay waste to land and light. Adar takes my hand. I'm still feeling faint, but the adrenaline of what is about to happen drives me on. "Lean on me, love. I will get you to safety."  

Exiting the barn, we see the people are in total disorder due to the explosions of water and flaming debris raining down on them. The Uruks are taking advantage of the chaos to free themselves, chanting "Udûn". They've been through hell, and now a dark pit will be the men and women of the Southlands' hell. The key's been turned, doom has been set free, and we step into the fire. 

"Lord-Father!" we hear a familiar voice say.
"Sorogrim!" I shout. "What are you doing here?" He's got a limp, but he's still fast, rushing towards us.
"I had to come back and help," Sorogrim says. "Scouts reported the arriving army, and how you've been taken captive. We searched the buildings, we found some of your things," Sorogrim gives me my sword. "And the blood. So much blood, but you're alive." He looks me over.
"Not for long," a voice I once found soothing states behind us. 

Adar steps in front of me, shielding me from Feiron. "By fight or fire, you die today," he growls. "Come at me then, orc," Feiron spits, drawing his sword. I spot Adar's dagger, the one he used to stab me with, at his waist. Oh, how I wish to cut out his tongue and then his heart with it. 

"Sorogrim, you know the plan, take Malwen to safety. Do not look back," Adar commands.
"Yes, Lord-Father," Sorogrim starts to pull me away.
"No!" I shout, trying to get back to Adar. "We take him together."
"No," Adar says. "You take cover. I will find you, I promise. Always."
A ball of fire crashes just beside us. There is no time to argue, no time to think. All we can do is act. I look at Feiron, his hands flexing at his sides, waiting to attack. Hopefully, it will be the last I ever see him.
"Find me!" I shout at Adar, letting Sorogrim lead me through the mayhem. 

--- 

Adar turns his full focus on Feiron. The village's in total disarray, people are running to take shelter from the fire sky.

"Let's get this over with," Feiron cracks his neck, his eyes turning black. "And when I'm done with you, I will find her."
With lethal pace, Adar's on Feiron with extreme force, swinging his sword. Feiron hardly has any time to deflect the blow, staggering underneath the rattling steel.
"Come on, you filthy bastard," Feiron roars.
"Just getting started," Adar brings his sword down on Feiron again, and again, hacking away at the elf's resolve.
Adar can see the fear in Feiron's eyes. He's met his match, and his vile actions have led to his demise.
The fire continues to rain down on them, and screams are all around, everyone too busy ducking away from the blasts. It won't be long till a blazing shadow takes them. Adar's running out of time. He needs to find Malwen. Another bolt of fire strikes nearby, but Adar does not waver.  

Feiron's fighting without grace, his every move made is in pure desperation, all smugness gone from his wicked face. Adar's unscathed, having avoided Feiron's every advance.
Their swords clash together, and Adar grabs Feiron's writs, twisting it, bones snapping. Feiron screams in pain. Next, Adar trips Feiron to the ground, kicking away his sword, and delivers a shattering blow to his face. Feiron is too stunned and in too much pain to react.
"You messed with the wrong Uruk," Adar growls, grabbing Feiron by the neck, and lifting him high. "You never should have laid a hand on my wife. You showed no mercy, and neither will I."
With his other hand, Adar grabs the dagger at Feiron's waist and stabs the elf with it. Twisting it. Blood sputters from Feiron's mouth and Adar lets him slump to the ground. He might be badly wounded, but this fiend has lived through impossible trauma before. Adar needs to be sure this time.
"She never loved you," Adar says to him. "She was glad to be free of you. And now..." Adar looks into Feiron's eyes, utter defeat written in every feature on his face. "She will be." Adar swings his sword, severing Feiron's head from his shoulders. 

Feiron might have been Malwen's knight once upon a time, but in the end, he was nothing but a nightmare. His actions will plague them for a long time, but he can never hurt them again. 

--- 

Adar looks around at the fear and tumult, noticing Galadriel and the man he encountered in the woods, a nagging feeling about something familiar at the back of his mind, but he's got no time to ponder it. He rushes in the direction Sorogrim and Malwen left. He might have set this plan in motion, years and years in the making; he might be a god creating a new land, but he's nothing without his goddess.