The next morning with Lance was bad. Lance's alarm was some Shakira song that was definitely not welcoming. And of course, Lance doesn't even wake up to it. It's raining so the room is still a little dark. Keith couldn't take it. The song played for a third time and Lance was still sound asleep. Keith got out of bed and turned the alarm off, hitting Lance with a pillow.

"Ow," he moaned out, rolling onto his side. "Keith," he groaned, drawing his name out. Keith's face flushed red as an unwanted though came to Keith's mind.

"Get up. Shakira has already serenaded you three times!" Lance sat up, the covers falling from his chest down to his lap. His eyes were squinted from sleepiness as he looked at Keith. Keith marched back to his own bed to fix the covers and the cave of pillows. Lance would be one hell of a roommate.

"Keith, how are you so awake?" He just shrugged. He really didn't want to talk to Lance, especially since he hated speaking before he brushed his teeth. Lance yawned, his mouth opening wide before he threw his legs over the bed and placed them on the cool floor. On impact, he cringed away. "Keith, its cold," he groaned. Keith sighed and threw whatever he was holding on the desk.

"Sleep with socks." Keith rummaged for a shirt today. He was up earlier than normal so why not at least put an effort into looking good. He finally found something and set it on the desk with his jeans. Lance was still on the edge of his bed. He was quiet now, just touching his toe to the cold ground. "Are you always this grumpy when you wake up?" Keith asked, looking for a pair of boxers.

"Depends."

"On what?" Keith scoffed. Lance didn't speak for a few seconds.

"How well I slept."

"Yeah sure. Okay." Keith grabbed his toiletries bag and hurried to the bathroom before anyone else did. He was so angry at Lance. It was a dumb reason, there's no point in him being angry for Lance complaining, there's plenty of worse things. Still, the way Lance said his name drifted into his brain. He quickly slammed his head on the stall door and threw on his jeans and... shirt? Keith looked under his sweatpants and sleeping shirt, but no shirt was found. Keith sighed. He grabbed his bag and his sleep clothes again and trotted back to the dorm room.

He knocked quietly to make sure Lance knew he was coming in. The literal last thing Keith wanted was to walk in to a naked Lance. When he entered Lance was sitting on Keith's bed with Keith's phone in his hand. Keith practically growled.

"Why are you on my phone?" Keith yelled. "And get off my bed!" Lance looked like a lost puppy when he scrambled off the bed and onto his two feet.

"Your alarm went off and I had to turn it off." Lance's cheeks were a faint red (as red as you could see through his tan skin). "Are you always this mad in the mornings?" Keith folded his sleep stuff nicely and tucked in in the top drawer. He looked around his desk area for his shirt before finding it had fallen between the wall and the desk.

"No because I haven't had to deal with you before!" Keith payed no mind to Lance. Lance was glad Keith was in too much of a whirlwind to see him. Keith couldn't see how words really effected him. Keith couldn't see the pain that he had hidden. Lance wanted to be friends with him, and if Keith uncovered all the dirty laundry Lance was hiding, that wouldn't ever happen.

"You know, you're unapproachable and hatable." Lance taunted, hands on his hips. Keith whirled around and looked at him like he was an autistic fly. His mouth was open in a sneer and his eyes squinted.

"You know what, I'm done. I'm just going to be quiet before I punch you." Lance narrowed his eyes.

"Go ahead Mullet!" he yelled at the closing door. "Bet you're too pussy to do it!" Lance was alone again. He didn't like the men's bathroom, so he did his makeup in the mirror on his desk. It wasn't much, he didn't have time too put on much. He, too, was fuming with anger just like Keith. Keith was so soft last night, he didn't understand. Maybe it was just because of his alarm. Lance convinced himself that was it. Keith brushed his teeth so hard there was blood when he spit it out in the sink.

Lance made him so mad. He ran cold water over his face and flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Lance, I swear to-" but when he looked up, it was just Shiro. Keith's tense shoulders dropped and his eyebrows unknotted. "Sorry I... I thought you were Lance." Shiro laughed.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Keith frowned. He leaned against the sink and crossed his arms, shutting his eyes to breathe. He was so angry and he didn't even know why. In retrospect, he was being dumb.

"More like someone woke me up with Shakira." Shiro laughed again. He was always so kind hearted. He had patience. Shiro was everyone's friend they didn't know they had.

"Keith you should calm down. I know you naturally hate Lance but honestly, he's not that bad. The meaner you are to him, the more defensive he's going to get." Keith didn't want to admit his stubbornness, but it was embarrassing being lectured in the men's bathroom.

"And you'd know because..." Shiro smiled, fake compassion in his eyes. Keith sensed a coldness from Shiro. He totally understood, he was being a bitch and the only response to bitchiness is to be a bitch back.

"Because I know. Me and Lance have known each other for quite some time now. I promise I know what I'm talking about." Someone called Shiro and he turned to walk back the other direction, an awkward end to such a short conversation. Keith sighed. He did need to calm down. He fixed his hair and made it back to the dorm with ten minutes before he had to leave for class.

Keith walked as slow as he could without being weird down the hall. He didn't want to see Lance, partially because he hated Lance and partially because he was angry at himself for being angry. He twisted the handle carefully and walked in on Lance doing his makeup quietly in the corner. Keith hummed and set his toiletries bag down on the desk. He admired Lance's persistence, despite how upset Keith had very visibly made Lance.

"Lance-"

"Keith-" both boys spoke at the same time.

"You go first," they both said. Lance smiled.

"No you!" Keith smiled too. Then they laughed. The angry atmosphere was broken, and Lance's body was opened up a little more out of comfort.

"Okay okay," Keith said. "I'm sorry for getting mad. I shouldn't have gotten mad, it was something dumb." Lance waved a hand and turned back to his mirror.

"Whatever Kogane. Do you want to go get ice cream after classes end today? We can take pictures there and, well, get ice cream."

"Whatever McClain." Keith grabbed his bag and waved to Lance before leaving. The only reason why that was so easy was because they had accidentally made the air very light and easy to talk in. It was kind of hard to stay mad at the ever charming Lance McClain.

Keith wished he had a bike. All these people around campus got places quickly when they rode to class on their bikes. Keith hated walking, biking would be more fun. He wondered how expensive a bike would be. Maybe Pidge would know. He slipped in the door and jogged up the white brick stairs. His hand dragged along the railing until he reached the top where it fell lazily next to his side. Pidge's head was popped out the door ready to greet Keith. Pidge always welcomed Keith with a smile. Keith grinned, knowing what was coming next.

"Hey best friendddd!" They yelled. Pidge giggled when Keith walked into the chemistry room, settling at the desk. Keith set his bag in the under counter cabinet next to Pidge's and then rested himself against the desk.

"So? Did you miss me?" Pidge asked, a wicked grin on her face. Keith scoffed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I hardly had time to miss you, not with Lance McClain sleeping in the bed next to me." Pidge gasped loudly, drawing people's attention. Her mouth was wide in an 'o'.

"Lance?" She whispered yelled. "In a dorm with you?" Keith smiled and rolled his eyes.

"He's such a handful," Keith said, frowning. "I want him out of the dorm. I can't stand him. He complains when I try and be nice, he complains when I'm mean. Like, what's his motive?" Pidge laughed.

"Maybe if you just look unapproachable he'll go away. First off, we both know that's impossible now that he's my roommate and second, I'm his photographer so it's even less likely." Pidge grabbed Keith's shoulders and shook them.

"You're his photographer?" she screamed. "That's like... third on your bucket list!"

"Ugh, don't remind me." Class started, and Pidge and Keith were hard to rip apart. They talked throughout their experiment and talked through notes, even though they'd been separated for less than twenty-four hours.

Pidge was so kind, the dorky kind. The kind that you could joke around with. Some might say like a sister, but Keith wouldn't know. He didn't have a sister. Keith really didn't want to walk to class, he knew Lance would probably find him somehow and walk him there. Sighing, he waved goodbye to Pidge and walked down the sidewalk. He pulled out his phone too, hoping it would somehow repel Lance. Lance repellant. Keith laughed. He went through Instagram, pictures from orphanage friends and random celebrities filling his timelines with pictures he wished could capture.

These pictures showed how in love with the moment people could be. Keith wanted to capture his own time being in love with the moment, but the problem was, Keith didn't do anything noteworthy. He just sat in his dorm and read and took pictures. He wasn't anything special, he wasn't these celebrities. He wasn't Lance.  He didn't have parties he went to or family vacations. He didn't even have a family to photograph. Lance was his one and only subject.

Speaking of Lance, Lance was sitting on the marble steps with some boy looking over his shoulder at his phone. Keith didn't want to know. Instead he pulled his phone closer to his face and looked absorbed so Lance wouldn't call him out. He managed up the stairs pretty well, getting to class safely.

It was the same as yesterday. Keith kicked the hollow desk in boredom waiting for class to start. His camera was set on the ground next to him for afterwards. He opened his journal to the bucket list page and read through all the dumb things he'd written. Fall in love, go skydiving, go scuba diving. Lance sighed and checked off 'Photograph for Lance's Instagram.' One down. He heard the chair next to him creak and Keith cringed.

"Why do you always get the squeaky chair?" He asked, impatiently.

"I don't know. Ask the teacher." Keith scoffed at Lance, smiling at his stupidity.

"Like the teacher would know," Keith said, rolling his eyes. The rain got louder, and both boys feared they wouldn't be able to get ice cream today. Keith set his head on his arms and waited. Professors shouldn't be late. If they were late any longer, class would automatically be cancelled. Keith could've fallen asleep easily right there. The warmth of his jacket and the cold air calming him right to the perfect state of sleep. Keith loved the rain.

Just not the thunder.

There was a big flash of light that caught Keith's attention before there was a loud rumble in the sky. Keith yelped quietly and accidentally kicked the desk in front of him. The noise echoed through the lecture hall. He clamped his hands over his mouth and sunk to the desk. Lance was eyeing him weirdly, yet quietly. Keith could already see the malice in Lance's eye. He was going to get teased beyond belief. Keith crossed his ankles and hooked them behind the chair legs to stop from kicking the desk again.

Thunder rolled loudly through the room, scaring Keith. He buried his head on the table, squishing his noise on the cool surface to keep from bursting into tears right there. Lance was surprisingly quiet about this whole ordeal. Maybe thunder scared him too.

"Hey," Lance mumbled quietly. "I can take you out of the classroom and help you calm down if you want." Keith really didn't like the idea of Lance of all people helping him calm down. But as soon as the thunder came again, his fist was in the shirt at Lance's back.

"Yeah." So Lance found Keith's hand and took it, pulling him behind him quickly. Keith had no idea where they were going, and he had no idea if Lance did either. But he trusted the boy as right now, he would be sobbing if it weren't for him. Keith sunk into his jacket like a turtle, his legs having to move quickly to stay in pace with Lance. Lance squeezed Keith's fingers tightly. He watched as Lance's feet glided over the yellow marble of the floor. Soon, the floor color changed to a grey tile. Lance had pulled him into a bathroom at the very back of the building. It was kind of dark, but surprisingly nice for its weird placement. Keith plopped himself onto the desk (desk in a bathroom? What is this, the 1800's?) and pulled Lance close.

He never imagined relying on Lance in a thunderstorm, but he did it nonetheless. Lance didn't hesitate to take Keith fully in his arms. Keith flushed hot red, distracted by the warmth Lance was giving off. His palms burned into his back and his chest was warm against Keith's forehead. Keith pulled Lance closer until Lance's knees were flat with the desk. Keith's palms were wrapped snugly in Lance's shirt like his life depended on it. It was really hard to breathe, partly from fear and partly from the fact that Lance was holding him. Keith was touch starved, people hardly touched him, much less held him.

Keith's tears were hot and wet as they streamed down his face, but Lance didn't know he was crying. Lance didn't ever have to know. "You do realize how awkwardly sexual this looks?" Keith laughed shakily.

"S-Shut up." Lance pulled Keith farther to the edge of the desk to wrap his arms easily around him. Keith took in every touch like it was the last he was ever going to get. So what, maybe he was a cuddle hog, Lance didn't have to know that either.

"You're scared of thunder?" Lance asked. His voice was strongly different from the loud thunder. It was soft and calming, and made Keith settle back into his bones. Thunder couldn't get to him if Lance was there, right?

"Yeah. You haven't teased me yet?" When Lance laughed, it echoed around in his chest. It was a gentle hum in the storm roaring outside.

"I'm scared of the dark, Keith. Trust me, you don't have the most tease-worthy fear."

"The dark is scary too." Keith laughed in his head. Two grown men scared of thunder and the dark. Keith sniffed, the tears incessant.

"If you get snot on my shirt I swear I will murder you." Keith laughed, blubbering helplessly though his tears.

"I'm sorry L-Lance. Hours ago we were fighting but you're willing to keep me calm right now." Lance scoffed.

"Of course, Keith." No mullet. No sarcasm. Keith felt calm right there. Lance's warm body heat calming him as he cried against Lance's chest. "As long as the power doesn't go out, we'll be fine." Keith nodded. The storm was not quick to pass, it lingered. Lance never once let go, and when it got extra loud, he only squeezed tighter. Keith had in time wrapped his arms around Lance's skinny waist and buried his face right in the crook of Lance's neck. Soon, it was quiet again, the rain subsiding too.

Keith hated Lance. But he didn't want to let go. When Lance began to pull away, spouting some bullshit about the storm ending, Keith just scrambled to pull him back.

"Do you even know how to get back?" Keith asked quietly.

"Of course silly. Why would I want to be lost with you?" There goes Lance again with his teasing.

"You're the worst person to get lost with, Lance."

"You literally won't let me go." Keith realized how contradictory his words and his actions were. Keith really liked Lance's touch, his skin was soft and warm as it brushed over Keith's back. It felt like a home, or, at least what Keith guessed a home would feel like. When he thought of a home, he thought of something warm and inviting just like Lance's arms. Keith blushed a deep red, face blotchy. He hid deeper in Lance's neck to hide how much he was secretly enjoying this. He knew he had to compose himself within the next minute. He had to get this sickly warm feeling away and push Lance away and make some snide comment.

Reluctantly, Keith un-looped his arms from around Lance's waist and pulled away, head down. Lance dipped his head to look into Keith's eyes. Lance could easily tell Keith wasn't quite ready to pull away, but they couldn't idle here any longer. He frowned, standing up again.

"Is it alright if I hold your hand on the way back? Or do you want me to keep hugging you?" Keith reached wordlessly for Lance's hand as a silent gesture towards what he wanted. Lance pulled Keith off the desk and slowly walked him out into the brighter hallway. Keith kept his head turned the other direction so Lance wouldn't see the hot red blotches on his face. He bit his lip and dug a hand deep into his pocket. The warm feeling was still there in his heart, it made him want to scream and cry and punch Lance. In the face. With his lips. Keith shook his head and exhaled quickly. What was he thinking?

Keith looked over at Lance who's face was red too. It wasn't a blotchy red, like Keith's face, it was a soft pink that shone brightly through his tan skin. He was looking at a text message on his phone. His lips pursed together.

"Lance? What is it?"

"Classes are cancelled the rest of the day. They say the storm is going to get really bad again so they want us all to get back to our dorms." Keith clenched Lance's hand again, he could hardly imagine going through an even worse storm than before again. "Hey, look at me." Keith turned to face Lance who was watching him with a surprising seriousness. His eyes glittered, but they always glittered. His freckles shone bright and his lips were soft and pink as he spoke. "Classes are cancelled. We dorm together silly, I'm not leaving you."

"That's about the nicest thing you've said," he mumbled, looking forward again. The lecture hall stood before them. They continued to talk as they gathered their stuff. Of course Lance got stopped many times, by girls and guys. By friends and people he couldn't even name. Girls gave him small kisses when they finished talking. Those kisses made Keith's stomach contort angrily. He didn't know why he was being so protective, he'd personally known the kid for a day now. Why was his heart thrashing with anger? Keith pulled his bag over his chest until it lay snugly by his hip.

"So Keith, since for some reason our fights are having an off hour, let's play twenty questions." Keith sighed

"Let's wait until we get back to the dorms," he said tiredly. Keith kept both hands in his pocket so that Lance wouldn't hold them. Not that he didn't want Lance to, but he didn't want other people to see Lance do it. They walked in silence to the dorms, the drizzle increasing again. Keith popped out of his bones again, uprooted by the thought of another serious storm again.

Keith trailed a little behind Lance, letting him lead the way. Lance had this habit of looking at his legs even though he could clearly walk just fine. When Lance pulled open the door, that's when Keith reached for Lance's hand again.

"You're like a sad puppy," Lance said as he carefully pulled Keith along behind him. Lance opened the door for Keith and Keith immediately released Lance's hand. He put down his bag by the edge of his bed and sighed. Keith crawled into his bed when Lance crawled into his own.

"Okay, you first Lance," Keith muttered. They were both laying on their sides, head resting on the palms of their hands to look at each other.

"Okay um... greatest strength and weakness." Keith had to think about that one. He was sure he had plenty, he was a pretty weak guy. Some things he thought of, he immediately pushed off the table. He didn't want this conversation to go awry.

"Strength, I don't know, I guess I'm good at math. Weakness... plenty of things. First I'm an orphan and second I care too much about my grades. And I'm scared of thunder. " Lance laughed. He really did have a nice laugh. He had a nice everything.

"Why do you care so much about your grades, it's just school? Can I take my shirt off, is that okay with you?" Keith shrugged.

"Do whatever you want. And it's because if I flunk out, there aren't any funds to support me for another year at college. I got a full ride working really hard in high school, I can't fail now because if I do, I can't come back." Lance watched in astonishment, pulling his shirt over his head. Freckles dotted the tops of his shoulders and collarbone. Keith blushed and looked at the rug.

"Damn." Keith just smiled.

"Doesn't matter." Keith smirked, holding back a laugh. "What was your first thought this morning?" Lance scoffed and collapsed on his back, his pretty eyes watching the ceiling.

"Damn," Lance said, a smirk pulling at his lips. Keith laughed hard, falling down so his head was rested directly on the pillow. "Anyways, would you eat a whole bowl of crickets for $40,000?" Keith laughed loudly again, hiding the gentle rumble of thunder.

"What the fuck?"

"Answer it!" Lance whined.

"Yes? Depends on how their cooked." The boys laughed, another roll of thunder echoing louder. Keith watched the window uneasily. There was a moment of quiet, an unbreakable silence that followed. Lance figured Keith would find it weird if just crawled into bed with him, especially since he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Okay Lance, what's it like having a family?" Keith knew what the answer would be, but he still didn't expect it.

"What do you think?" Lance asked quietly. He refused to turn his head, like maybe something happened when Lance left for college or something.

"How would I know?" Keith asked defensively. The thunder got louder and he shuttered, but his anger was greater than the fear thunder caused in him. "I've never had a family. All I've seen is those sitcoms where they're all sarcastic brats that cry when they get a paper cut." Lance placed a hand on his forehead.

"You mean you've never had anyone else tell you what a family is like?"

"You know Lance, when you said I had no friends you were almost correct. Pidge is the only true friend I've had in my whole life. I've been in foster care, of course none of them knew what a family was like either. All I know is when I scroll through Instagram I see all these happy families at Disney World or having a barbecue with the neighbors and everyone's smiling. So when I see a family, not only do I envy it, I see this perfect happy picture of people who love each other all the time. Parents love their kids always. It's just a happy thing I never got." Lance snorted.

"Families have problems Keith. There's no such thing as a perfect, happy family! That's for kids cartoons." Keith sat up, clutching his blanket to his shoulders.

"Sure! But there's a lot of love to go around evenly and they still stick together-"

"That's not true!" Lance yelled, sitting up too. Lance looked like he was going to cry, his eyes glittering and wavering behind his eyelashes.

"Tell me then. Tell me what goes on in the McClain family that makes my statement not true!" Lance laughed manically, like he was ready to throw himself off a cliff. His anger washed into some sort of pain. That alone proved Keith's statement wrong.

"I'm the middle child. Automatically I'm kind of put on last to bat. My sister? My sister was a stillborn. She wasn't breathing when she came out, my Mama was scared half to death! The second youngest brother, he has down syndrome so bad he goes around in a wheelchair. He'll never run around with other kids, he'll be teased no matter where he goes. I walk in and tell you I don't have everything because I don't! I could choose to be greedy, keep my money to myself. But I have a brother who needs it more than me. My dad abuses the third oldest brother because he's bisexual and dad just can't fucking deal with me anymore I-" Lance took a big breath. Keith watched in disbelief.

"I was born with a leg problem. You wonder why I watch my leg when I go down stairs? Because I could fall. I had cancer when I was six and thirteen. The scars... the scars on my body are from chemo and my f-father." Keith watched as Lance broke right there on the bed. His fingers were tangling with each other nervously. His tears glittered against his dark cheeks. "Many days there wasn't enough love to go around. I attempted suicide when I was fourteen because my parents would fight every night about me. I'm a horrible son causing my mother to worry so much. I was the tear that started the downfall. Sometimes I would rather be dead to save my family a hell of a lot of trouble." Lance wiped his tears away just to replace them with more. The thunder boomed outside the window, making Keith jump. Lance's voice shook when he spoke, anxiety filling it like the jelly in a jelly donut. But now, there were tears. Anxious tears, angry tears, sad tears. Lance's tears.

"Lance, I..." What would he say anyways? He had said some things that he didn't even know hurt Lance until now. And now Lance was sobbing under his fairy lights, wrapped up in his blanket. Now that Keith looked, he did notice some light brown tears in the skin on his arms and stomach. Some were bigger, some smaller. Scars of all shapes and sizes covered his body. Keith crawled out of bed and into Lance's instead. "I'm glad you're alive now." Lance scoffed and wiped the tears away with his long, spindly fingers. Lance's shivering eyes were rimmed with red as tears continued to leak from his eyes.

"Whatever you say M-Mullet." Keith reached out to run a finger down a particularly long one crossing right over his heart. Lance flinched under Keith's hand. The skin was rough but soft and warm under Keith's fingers, he found himself accidentally tracing them, studying them like he would a math problem. Anytime there would be a roll of thunder, Keith would jump and Lance would place his hands over Keith's arms, the warm piercing right through his jacket.

Lance watched the boy curiously. He seemed so enamored with the scars, like they were art. Lance felt like a masterpiece under Keith's hands. Soon Keith was using both of his hands to inspect. Lance felt really hot under Keith's touch. The pads of Keith's fingers burned him as they felt around, invading a privacy Lance had told to no one except Keith. Keith splayed his fingers across Lance's chest to look at one right under his jaw. Lance's heart beat quickly under his skin. Why was it so hot? Lance checked his breathing as Keith continued to feel around.

His breath was hot and Lance almost felt like he was purposefully trying to fluster him. Lance grew red at Keith's slow, hot breaths at his neck and his chest and every part of him. Why did this fluster him? He didn't know. Keith was just a guy in class who became his roommate accidentally. So why was he here crying and letting Keith in on the things no one else knows? And why could he only think about Keith's eyes and Keith's breath and Keith's fingers and Keith's lips.

"I'm-" the thunder made Keith shake and jump. "S-sorry." Lance shrugged.

"It's whatever." Lance fell back against the bed. Keith watched sadly.

"Not really." Keith rested his head right in the crook of Lance's shoulder and wrapped an arm around his stomach.

"W-What are you doing?" Keith chuckled. Lance was flustered. His skin heated up more than it already was.

"You're crying, I'm going to comfort you. It's thunder storming, you're going to comfort me. We're just going to cuddle until it gets better okay?" Lance paused and then nodded slowly, turning to engulf Keith in his arms. Keith couldn't breathe he was so nervous. What was this feeling in his chest, and why wouldn't it go away? Keith's heart was beating so fast he felt it would burst right out of his chest.

"This bed isn't big enough for two people." Keith smiled against Lance's warm chest.

"That's why we're cuddling you idiot." Lance grinned crookedly, this strange happiness consuming him.

Later

Keith woke up with a splitting headache. It was like there was an arrow right through his head. He sat up, a weight falling into his lap. When he looked down, Lance's hand was there. Lance must have kept cuddling him in their sleep. He smiled sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair. God it hurt. His vision was clouded with green and red spots that danced across his line of sight.

"Fuck," Keith muttered. He knew if he got up, he would probably trip and fall and wake Lance up. Instead he tried to lay back down, only feeling the pain worsen. He quickly sat up again and pulled at his hair. The pain stabbed him. Every movement, every breath, and every blink of an eye felt like a million lasers burning his skull. It could drive him to tears if he wasn't too embarrassed to cry again.

The rain was beating heavily on the window, but it wasn't thundering. It was dark outside, pitch black. Something Lance wouldn't like. Keith closed his eyes and then opened them to find almost no difference between the two darknesses. He had to turn on the lights before Lance woke up or else he'd freak.

There was a big shift in the bed as Lance moved. Keith gasped and then immediately regretted it as his head stabbed in pain. The hand on Keith's lap moved to feel for Keith's shirt. Keith blushed a cherry red. He couldn't see Lance, but he could picture him. He could picture him probably drooling all over his damn pillow and waking up with a crick in his neck. But he could also picture the pretty dotting of Lance's freckles bright after a good nap. He pictured those glittery eyes when they first opened to look up at Keith.

"Lance?" Keith called quietly. It sounded distant when it echoed around his head. God it hurt like a bitch. Lance's quiet groan hardly registered in his brain.

"Keith," he mumbled back. Lance began shifting to sit. Keith panicked. What would he do? Seeing the other boy freak out would be a handful he didn't want to take care of.

"Lance, don't open your eyes." Keith moved to slip his legs off the bed, but they felt gooey. They hardly supported his weight so he began to fall. Keith couldn't see shit, and he didn't want to bang his head onto anything. Then both of them would be screwed.

"Why?" Lance questioned tiredly. His voice was quiet below the rain. Keith felt like a melting candle, weight falling right on his chest when he sat there panting on the floor.

"I-it's a surprise." Lance laughed breathily. Keith tried not to picture how cute that probably looked. He blushed and groaned in pain, sitting back on his heels for a moment. Keith dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, somehow thinking that was a good idea. It wasn't, just for anyone who was curious. It felt like his eyes were being pricked with little toothpicks.

"Are you masturbating?" Lance asked. For some reason, that was really funny to Keith.

"No." He laughed, but it was cut short with a yelp of pain. "Ow." Keith tried to crawl more to wherever the plug was, but he couldn't see and he couldn't think because of his headache.

"Keith, are you alright?" Keith grunted as he reached to touch the cold wall. He was really close. If the lights were on, he would probably look really dumb fumbling against the wall for the plug to the light string.

"Yes! Lance, don't open your eyes." Keith felt all over the wall, begging to find the plug. He wanted to go get some headache medicine, but first it was Lance. The weight on Keith's sinuses only got heavier and heavier, and he felt like he would fall over even though he was sitting down. He finally felt a string that felt vaguely like his lights and he didn't hesitate to plug it in, his hands shaking. He scrunched his face in pain, begging for just a few seconds of calm to just plug in the damned lights. There was a click and things were dimly lit. He rested his head on the wall and sighed heavily. The cool wall was soothing to his head.

"You can... open your eyes now." Keith wanted to scream. Or break something. Why did this hurt so much? He'd never had a headache so bad. He groaned and shut his eyes, the pads of his fingers rested on the wall.

Lance didn't know what he expected when he opened his eyes, maybe a punch in the face or something. Just not what he saw which was, well, pretty much nothing. "Some surprise," Lance mumbled.

"Can you just, agh!" Keith began to yell, but it was cut short with a sharp pain in the head. He quieted for he next sentence. "Can you just appreciate this for a second." Keith breathed hard against the wall, trying to gain the strength to stand up and down a whole bottle of Advil.

"Keith, what am I appreciating?" Keith stood up by practically dragging his nails down the wall and pulling him up like a rock climber.

"The light. It was pitch black when I woke up and I have a splitting headache." Lance was speechless. Keith hated him, what would Keith be kind for? Especially in the pain he was in.

"You're being awful kind Keith, call it a bonding moment." Keith growled and began walking. His hip was pressed to the bed frame and his fingers trailed across the surface of the bed to keep himself steady. He reached for the desk eagerly, hearing the sound of pills knock over when his hand hit them. The noise was grating on his ears, and he cringed in pain. "Thank you," Lance mumbled.

"Welcome," Keith exhaled quickly. He just wanted his medicine. He took out two (or what he hoped was two) and swallowed them down. Keith sat on the bed and leaned over his legs. Why did it hurt so much? He couldn't breathe too hard, or a stuttering pain would take over his head.

"What time is it?" Keith asked quietly. He knew the medicine wouldn't take effect right away, but he sure as hell wished it would. He hated the distance in his voice. He hated the distance in Lance's voice. He struggled to hear, or to focus enough to hear. It was all like amplified static.

"Two a.m." Maybe that's why. Keith probably needed food from skipping Lunch and dinner. Keith groaned.

"Do you think the cafeteria will still be open?" Lance snickered, like Keith was actually being funny. If the cafeteria wasn't open, he didn't know what he'd do. He was so hungry, and he couldn't keep downing pills to keep the pain away.

"You heard me, right? I said two a.m." Keith gritted his teeth. How could Lance be so snobbish?

"Did I ask for you to be such a bitch!" Keith screamed. "Just... where's the nearest place to eat." He pictured Lance's frown at that. He pictured his thinking face, that rare sight that Keith had seen at an increasing rate recently. There was the sound of shifting sheets and footsteps on the cold tile.

"Keith, we'll go get food at the diner when the medicine kicks in." The bed beside Keith dipped, and he felt the presence that was Lance's and Lance's only.

"I'm sorry, I can't think."

"Obviously not." Keith didn't reply, he rested his head on Lance's shoulder, not really caring about how angry he was. Lance's shoulder was a shoulder nonetheless. He had put on a blue sweatshirt that was really comfortable not only to Lance, but to Keith's cheeks too.

Keith really hoped Lance wasn't mad at him for being mean. He remember Lance crying earlier (er, yesterday) and how broken he looked. Not only was his skin broken, his eyes looked literally like a shattered ocean. Keith's chest tightened at the thought of Lance crying again. It was a moment of intimacy between the boys he didn't know they were capable of having. Keith hated Lance. But did he really? He found himself sneaking glances at Lance and wanting to be near him. So dumb.

He mumbled to himself, trying to calm his pounding heart down. The colors faded from the corners of his eyes, and he felt steady. He stood to test his theory, and he was just fine.

"We can take some pictures there," Keith said, eyeing his camera. Lance eyed him carefully. He was concerned, concerned for the Mullet boy who was his roommate.

"Are you sure about that?" But Keith had his camera in his hands quickly. Lance watched only a second longer than he should've before getting distracted by one of Keith's pillows. It was cute; a little blue cloud that was blushing and smiling up at Lance. Clouds typically meant rain, but this cloud meant happiness. It didn't want to hide the sun, he wanted to be the sun. There was a click. Lance looked up and laughed, several more clicks echoing.

"Keith, what-"

"Relax, they're just test pictures." Keith smiled and looked at the pictures. Lance was so accidentally pretty, his long body looking beautiful, even with that dorky cloud pillow in his hands. And when he looked up, his eyes sparkled. And when he laughed... Keith couldn't describe the warmth that spread through his chest. His laugh was so sweet. "Let's go." Lance hopped to Keith's side.

"What's with that smile? Am I really that attractive?" Lance smirked and his teeth sparkled. Keith scoffed.

"Don't be so full of yourself," Keith said. Keith looked through his old pictures while they were walking, occasionally getting stopped by Lance at a crosswalk. Lance would laugh and tease him saying shit like 'if I weren't here, you'd be the worst tasting pancake ever.' Keith didn't mind, he actually laughed sometimes. Then he'd say 'whatever McClain' and keep looking at his camera.

They walked pretty quietly, Lance distracted constantly by the things around him. Keith stole a glance at him, watching him. He made even walking look elegant. One hell of a beauty vlogger Lance was. His eyes glistened under the moonlight and his freckles shone brightly. His freckles were always bright though, like they were constantly glowing. Keith blushed and looked down at his camera. Stupid prick.

They sat at the table, Lance resisting wolfing down his food for a picture. Keith took several, hoping one of them would be worthy for his Lance's Instagram. When Keith gave Lance the halfhearted okay to eat, he immediately looked through the pictures. Some were really bad, especially since Keith found his eyes focusing on Lance, not the camera. Keith sucked on his milkshake straw and looked through the millions of pictures he'd taken. Keith did this for a while, scrolling mindlessly through the pictures until he's reached the end.

Some of them, Lance was blinking or looking dumb, but others he looked flawless in. Keith sighed, setting his camera down. His phone buzzed. When he looked at Lance, one eyebrow was raised at Keith questioningly. He didn't understand, Keith cocked his head, lip still caught in the milkshake straw.

"Do you have my post notifications on?" Keith choked on the milkshake in his throat. When he checked his phone, it sure as hell was Lance. He curiously swiped to look at it. He groaned when he saw it. It was Keith leaning over the table to look at his camera, sucking lightly at the milkshake straw. He looked so focused yet... not completely shitty in the picture. Keith scoffed and leaned back in his chair.

"I thought I was taking pictures of you," Keith said. Lance laughed, his chest jumping.

"I deserve a couple pictures of you." Keith raised an eyebrow skeptically. That was a flirty Lance thing to say. It was a School Lance thing to say.

"What are you saying McClain?" Lance rolled his eyes, nibbling on the corner of a fry.

"Exactly what I said, Mullet." Keith wished he could easily hide his red cheeks. Lance seemed to think they were friends. It was cute, it was funny. Keith scoffed.

"You think we're friends?" Keith asked. The words slipped out unintentionally, and his brain was still clouded. He hated Lance, no way would they be friends.

"Uh, yeah?" Lance looked confused, almost like he didn't understand. They weren't friends, they wouldn't ever be friends. Keith hated Lance.

"No, uh, we're not," he said strongly. "We are roommates. We are literature partners. We are not friends. I am Keith Kogane, the loser with one friend. You are Lance McClain, the pretty vlogger who probably has ten girlfriends. Lance and Keith don't add up to friends." Lance glared hard at Keith, narrowing his eyes. His skin drained to a pallor Keith didn't know his skin could reach.

"And why not? We shared fears. We cuddled. I shared my... myself." Keith hardly noticed the hurt in Lance's voice. "That's something only friends do." Keith rolled his eyes, refusing to look at Lance. Instead he watched an old woman eating pancakes with her husband. They looked maybe sixty or seventy, and Keith resisted a smile because it was cute.

"No Lance, its called mutual respect. I'm your photographer, you're my subject. That's all we are. Don't you dare call me friend." There was a malice in Keith's voice that even surprised him.

"Keith, that's such dumb reasoning. Mutual respect? What even is that?" Keith stood up, not willing to disturb the poor couple. He walked to the counter with Lancer stumbling behind him. He payed quietly for the meal with a smile and a small bow, something he learned was polite. Once he reached outside, he didn't bother with keeping quiet. He walked up past the diner so no one had to see him fight.

"I hate you, Lance! I hate you with every fiber of my being." He thrust a finger in Lance's face and glared hard. He was just so... mad. Shiro wasn't here to tell him to calm down, and Lance's frown made him even more angry.

"And why would you hate me?" Keith ran both his hands through his hair angrily. Not even two hours ago were they cuddling together on the bed, Lance's bed.

"I hate you because people like you. I hate you because every girl and some guys fall in love with you the second they lay their eyes on you. I hate you because you talk about your family like they're horrible. I get it isn't perfect, but at least you have a family to support you. I hate you because you're pretty. I hate you because you're a prick. I hate you because you're so full of yourself. I hate you because you strut around like your the best thing since sliced bread. I hate you!" Keith really didn't have a strong argument. I hate you because you're pretty? That's so fucking dumb! But Keith said it because that's what he felt.

"Did you just call me pretty?" Lance asked. Keith wanted to punch Lance. He wanted to run his fist right through that look on his face. So he did.

"Lance I wish you were dead!" Keith screamed, pushing Lance hard, the heels of his hands hard against Lance's chest. Keith saw the pain in Lance's eyes, but everything happened too fast to think it through. Keith dug at the deepest parts of Lance. Lance didn't ask if Keith called him pretty to be snobbish, he asked like he didn't believe he was pretty.

Keith forgot about Lance's suicide. He forgot about Lance's leg problem that caused him to tumble backwards. All of this flooded back in the moment it was too late. The words had already set in Lance's skin, and Lance was already sitting in the middle of the road. Lance hardly even flinched when the car swerved around him, narrowly missing his twig body. Keith watched helplessly. He caused this, it would be dumb to try and help. His anger all left with Lance's body. He didn't want to yell anymore. Lance was just another person. He may have been a snobbish prick, but there was always more to a person than being a prick. Lance was human, which means he was probably hurting on Keith's behalf.

Keith counted to three. Three was always a good number, a safe number. Lance grew this sickening smile and he stood up, anger lacing the pretty curves of his face. Keith was speechless, he brought whatever Lance was going to do him onto himself. Lance walked faster to meet up with Keith, fists balling up by his side. Keith held his breath, a bad habit of his. Lance was practically blinking away tears as he walked right up to Keith. Before he could reach out to grab Keith's neck, he tripped. Keith watched nervously, Lance's possible reactions total taboo.

When Lance looked up, he locked eyes with Keith and laughed. He laughed hard. It wasn't an ugly snicker, it was just a laugh, loud and pure. The one you would do when there was a really funny joke. Behind it was sadness. Bloody tears streamed down his face but he laughed.

"Stupid fucking ankle." Keith smiled a little. If it was a normal day, if Lance just fell, he would be on the floor too, dying of laughter. But now he couldn't bring himself to laugh, no matter how funny it was. He knew he hurt Lance to a point where asking for forgiveness was almost rhetorical. Keith was on overdrive. Lance slowly got up, still laughing and crying those bloody tears. "It's all fun and games until someone breaks an ankle."

"Lance-" Lance just held up a hand. He looked tired, like he could sleep for years and still be sleep deprived.

"Save it." Keith felt a different anger take over him. He snatched Lance's wrist and looked him dead in his big watery eyes. "Are you still mad? Feel free to hit me back into the road. And try not to miss this time." Lance was smiling but tears were falling in massive amounts. He was so hurt, but he acted like he wasn't. He said a terrible sentence with a smile. Keith just wanted to hug him. Kiss him. Do something to prove how sorry he was.

"Lance, I'm sorry. I was mad, I shouldn't have replied like that. Really, I... I know I can't show it but I hope you know how sorry I am I-" Keith wrapped an arm around Lance to get him back home. "It was stupid, I shouldn't have said it. Sure, you are a prick and you are self-absorbed, but I don't want you to die. Really, I don't. You're worth more than I give you credit for. And yeah, Lance... I called you pretty." Lance forced out a laugh.

"Qu-quit your blubbering, Mullet." Keith could only hope Lance believed him. Once they got to the dorm, Lance would swat away any touch Keith offered. Slowly, he even stopped trying. He just watched Lance warily as he moved around the room, eyes all sad and droopy. Sometimes they'd make eye contact, and Lance would force out a smile. Lance eventually made it in bed, the area around his eye a dark red. His back was scratched up too from hitting the road. His eyes were dull. Lance was the most un-Lance he could be right now. He settled in his bed with his journal and began to write.

"Lance... I really hope you do know how sorry I am." Keith hated himself for acting how he did. He didn't want to see Lance cry again, he didn't even want to fight anymore. But he knew tomorrow they'd be at each other's necks again.

"Keith, it's fine. It was an... an accident." Lance tried a half smile, but gave up. Keith could've left it there. He could've agreed; just an accident. Except it wasn't. At the time, Keith was ready to kill Lance. He was ready to make him suffer as much as possible.

"No... its not. I have no right to say all those things to you. Especially..." Keith didn't even want to think about it. "Saying I wish you'd die. I don't wish you'd die." Lance nodded sarcastically.

"It's okay Keith. You have every right to say those things. Besides, we're not friends, right? Which means we don't care about each other. Hate me all you want. Go to sleep Keith, classes are in three hours." Keith sighed, frustrated. He wanted to throw himself out that window right there, he even contemplated it for quite some time. Whenever he looked at Lance, Lance was writing or drawing or rubbing his eyes to keep the tear leakage away. Keith was so stupid. He took the nearest pillow and buried his face in it, growling angrily into it. He could imagine and bewildered look on Lance's face. He laughed, the pillow muffling any noise.

"Idiot Keith," he mumbled. "Idiot, idiot Keith." Keith was so mad at himself. The rain grew noisy.

"Why are you beating yourself up so much?" Lance asked. He looked really cute, really small and innocent with his journal on his knee.

"Because I'm an idiot." Keith met Lance's eyes and immediately regretted it. It hurt so much. Keith could feel every ounce of Lance's pain. "I shouldn't have said those things. I hated the you before I found out about you. I can't even justify what I said. It was so dumb I can't even understand why I said it." Keith sat up, playing with a string on his bed. He just wanted to avoid eye contact. He wanted to avoid the pain he caused.

"Please don't give up on letting me be your friend," Keith mumbled. He blushed red under the light. Friends? With Lance?

"Didn't you say Lance and Keith didn't add up to friends?" Lance said. Now he was just being stubborn. That's exactly what Keith said, and it pissed him off that he said it.

"That's exactly what I said. But I sure hope I was wrong." Keith wasn't good at making friends. He was too awkward or too mad. He watched as Lance's face slowly contorted into a sappy smile. Lance was happy? Because Keith offered a friendship? "Why the fuck are you so excited about being my friend?"

"I don't know, you're kind of lame. But it's fine. I'll give you some of my coolness." Keith rolled his eyes. Lance was back. He collapsed on his bed again, sighing in relief. Pidge would get a laugh out of this.

"Whatever dork. Night."

"Night Mullet." Keith was happy Lance was happy. That gnawing beast in his stomach subsided. Keith felt himself worrying greatly for the boy. Lance's happiness directly correlated with him. Why was he so captivated by Lance? Being kind to Lance felt good. He smiled. Why did he have such a desire to keep Lance happy?

Pidge would get a laugh out of this.