❝ Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken? ❞
— TERRY PRATCHETT —

➳ I finally started to calm down or, rather, as calm as I could be. My heart still ached like I was about to have a full-blown heart attack.

Finally, Aaron began to let go of me and, as soon as he did, I shoved him completely off and crawled back over to the murderous bastard that just killed my twin brother. I started to hit him in the face again, over and over on repeat.

"Tess," I heard Daryl's warning tone, but I couldn't give two shits right now. I kept pounding his head in more and more with my fists of straight fury. "He's dead. You already killed him."

I kept on, feeling my fists becoming hurt and bleeding from the impact. Suddenly, someone grabbed ahold of my arm and dragged me up to my feet from beating the guy's face in more. I knew it was Daryl and that's why I shoved him off of me before he could say anything else.

"Fuck you!" I screamed at him, tears still streaming down my face. "You weren't there! You fucking left! You left me! I tried to stay in contact with you, but you didn't want me around! I waited for you! Was I... Was I some kind of fucking burden?"

He remained silent, watching me with everyone else as I made a total ass of myself. I stared him down, as I felt the blood drip off of my fists and down my injured back. I could barely stand, as I struggled to keep myself steady in the middle of everyone.

My chest started to tightened, so I placed my left hand over it and clenched it. I had hoped that it would help, but it didn't. It hurt so much. My heart was going crazy inside of there, like it was trying to escape the cage around it.

"Tess?" I heard Aaron call out my name, but my vision started to become blurry. "Tess!"

I couldn't control what happened next when my eyes fell to the back of my head and my legs gave out underneath me, as I fell and crashed to the ground below me with a thud. The left side of my body hurt the most when that is the side that I fell directly onto.

Maybe I will just die of a broken heart because that's what was happening right now. I was legitimately dying of a broken heart without my brother here to pick me and all my shattered pieces up.

➳ IT was definitely a person who I killed by beating his face in. Daryl, after I awoke with the help of Aaron and Mollie, tore off and lifted up the mask from the person, which appeared to have been an actual Walker's face at some point.

My face dropped when I breathed out, "What the fuck is that?"

Before any of us could process the situation at hand, the shadows in the most came forward and seemed to be surrounding us. "Weapons up," Michonne called out to us and without question, too.

I slid out my machete and it vibrated in my hand; or, perhaps, it was my shaking body attached to it. Either way, I was ready to kill all of these freaks, once and for all.

I could hear actual whispering through the air, too, and I honestly started to think that it was just me going insane. Course, it wasn't, though.

"You... die... now," the whispering voice called out, whistling through the wind and mist around us. Walkers growled and Dog started to bark, warning us to leave while we still could.

Then, just as the whispers around us began to get louder and we started to prepare for an actual fight, someone grabbed my shoulder and I was ready to chomp their arm off; but, before I could, I quickly realized that it was just Michonne.

Her intense eyes met mine when she demanded, "Go. Now."

With that said, the others started to leave through the front gate, but I wasn't so quick to leave when I bent down next to my brother's deceased body and tried to pick him up by myself. However, since I couldn't do it on my own, Aaron was immediately there for me in helping taking my brother's body back home to bury in peace.

I was going to try and independent by telling him that I had it, but it was sad to admit that I didn't have it on my own. I did need some help here because I wanted my brother to come home with us, for us to visit him every single day.

Aaron picked up Paul's body and started to leave with him in his arms, and I was about to join him, but not before I noticed Daryl starting to fight the dead — or, was it the dead? — off by himself.

I grabbed Mollie by her shoulders and made it to where she had to face me, our eyes meeting. "Baby, go with Uncle Aaron. I have to help."

"But, Mom..."

Before she could finish, Aaron turned back and nodded. "C'mon, Mollie. Let's go."

They started to leave while I turned back, ready to shove the machete through somebody's face. Daryl noticed that I stayed back to fight with him and he only stared, not knowing what to actually say to me. It was almost like we were two strangers reuniting again after being apart for so long — because, honestly, that's what this was. We were two different people than we were years ago.

"I'll cover you," Michonne called to Daryl and I. "Go. Aaron needs your help."

With that said, Daryl and I fled the scene, heading out of the gate to Aaron to help him with Paul's body. Daryl had the ability to help more than me, so I kept my machete up and ready to help Michonne with the bodies headed our way.

One nearly came and swiped Michonne, but Yumiko was there with her bow-and-arrow to fend them off from harming Michonne in time. Then, one little beat later, one tried to get me, but I ready to spin around and stab my machete right through their throats before they could get me.

"Come on!" Daryl yelled out to us. "Let's go!"

Daryl got us behind the gate, and I stayed behind to watch their backs while they tried to lock the gate from the outside. Walkers continued to growl from the inside, but we didn't care as we ran for our lives.

➳ EVERYONE was running around Hilltop, worried about the others being out there and still not back yet.

Around a small table right next to the horse's pen, I stood there along with Tara, Marco, Enid, DJ, and Alden. We were trying our very best way of handling things here while Jesus was off with the others.

"I'm worried to death right now," Tara sighed out, shaking her head. "Tess and Mollie are still out there, just like Jesus is, too. We gotta bring them home. All of them."

Alden scratched the back of his neck and gulped. "I mean, shouldn't we give it a little longer? Michonne's only been gone a few hours."

I smirked and shook my head, ready to disagree fully with my husband and the father of my child. "I agree with Tara. The longer they're out there, the more dangerous it is."

"I mean, it's almost been a full day since they went out looking," Enid added, turning to glare at Alden with her hands on her waists.

DJ tilted his head and turned his eyes to Tara. "And, give what Rosita said..."

He didn't even have to finish since Tara knew what he meant, briefly turning towards Marco. She breathed out his name in question, "Marco?"

It took a split moment, but all Marco had to do was glance down at the map before glaring back up at Tara. "Maybe we have two 2-person teams loop around their part of the grid, see what we see."

It sound to be a decent plan, but it ultimately boiled down to what Tara wanted than the rest of us did. When Paul wasn't here, she was in charged. Almost immediately, though, before she had enough time to think about it, Tara automatically agreed. "Okay. Let's do it. One loop, no risks. And get Oscar from the gate. We're going to need a fourth."

Before I could recommend myself to go out there and look for them, a little voice popped in and squeaked out: "I'll do it."

We all turned our necks and glanced back at one of the new people that recently came in. I believed that his name was Luke, and Tess liked him. I was already hearing the rumors roaming around here, so it wasn't no shocker that their business was already out there.

Luke smiled and lifted his right hand up to wave. "Hey. Uh... Luke here." He started to step forward, joining us at the small table. "Uh, just say you needed an extra hand? 'Cause I got two." I thought that what he said was funny, but nobody else did. "Um... You need help, I'm your guy."

I didn't think that it was entirely the worst idea in the world, given the fact that he was new and wanting to pull his weight around here. This was a great chance for him to prove himself and his worth here, and Tara would surly tell Paul when he returned with the others.

However, before we could all discuss it, Marco snapped his head towards Tara and said, "I'll go check with Oscar."

"No, no, no, no, no," Luke quickly blurted out before Marco could run off. "Um..." He paused before pointing off at something. "Connie and Kelly, they're... They're in the gardens already. And, uh, Magna and Yumiko, they're... They're out there. I just wanna do my part."

It was quiet for a moment while our options weighed back and forth. I tilted my head and shrugged, turning towards Tara. "Look, um... It's not the worst idea in the world. Give the man a chance."

Then, after Alden heard from me, he nodded and glanced at Tara, too. "He can ride with me."

"Um," I barked out, turning towards my husband. "Babe, honey, no."

"Huh?"

"Nah, I'm going with you two," I demanded and, before he could argue, I placed my index finger on his lips. "I am. There is no if's, and's, or but's about it."

Luke smiled and breathed out, "Cool. Alright."

Alden wasn't about to argue when he just shook his hand and extended his right hand to Luke, introducing himself. Luke accepted his handshake and replied, "Hey. Two-Hand Luke."

Alden was already smitten by him, as I saw the glow in their eyes over this instant connection. I could see the brotherly connection already. It was really cute. "Hey, how you doing?"

"Uh, that was a bad joke," Luke remarked, speaking of the hand joke. "Uh, thank you."

I smirked before shaking my head and turning towards Alden again. "C'mon, baby, let's go."

We started to walk towards the horses when Alden called to Luke: "C'mon, professor. Saddle up, huh?"

Luke laughed back, "Professor? I like that."

"Brie," I heard someone call out, as I spun around and saw Tara staring at me from the distance. "Bring them home safe."

I nodded and confirmed, "I will."

➳ IT was daylight and we were walking — no, running. I couldn't tell you how I was feeling on the inside and what I can do to feel better. Nothing could cure me now.

"Who the hell would do this?" Yumiko growled out while she and Magna was leading the group in the front. "Even think about doing this?"

"I suspect some vessel filled with a chunky salsa of abnormal impulses and metastasized rage," Eugene quickly added to what Yumiko had asked — all while Michonne had to help him get around.

Magna sighed and claimed, "It's full-on batshit." She wasn't wrong there.

"You think there's more?" I heard Aaron ask, trying to keep his voice down from Mollie and I hearing behind him. He and daryl were carrying Paul's body around; as if, he was passed out and was going to wake up any minute now. It didn't feel right whatsoever.

Daryl quickly agreed, "Yeah."

Magna walked up to a fence and threw it down on the ground. "So, what do we do?"

Michonne didn't pussyfoot around when she barked back: "Right now, keep moving."

➳ WE finally found our horses and put Paul's body over one while Eugene used another since he couldn't walk all that well right now.

My lower back was aching, but I wasn't about to beg to get on a horse, either. I struggled to walk, taking each step with care, and had my arms wrapped around myself to comfort myself.

I heard Mollie close beside me, sniffling and had her own arms wrapped around herself. I reached out to her and whispered out, "Mollie?"

She jerked away, so that I couldn't touch her anymore. "I didn't even get to say goodbye..."

Sometimes, I forgot just how young she was — that she was still just a child. Paul was her uncle and she loved him since the very first moment that they met, and he loved her just as much. Seeing Mollie still so emotional with the fresh scars on her like myself, I couldn't imagine telling Tory when we returned.

I heard them whispering behind us — Aaron, Eugene, Magna, and Yumiko — while Michonne and Daryl were in front of us with Dog leading the way.

"Are they going to be okay?" I heard Magna whisper to either Aaron or Eugene since they knew us better than them. "Tess isn't looking so good, herself."

It took a few seconds, but I heard Aaron bluntly reply: "No. They're not."

We kept on walking along while Mollie tried her very best to distant herself from me; as if, it was my fault that Paul died. Technically, I suppose it was since he wanted to be the hero for the very last time and take the knife in the back than me.

Holy shit. It was all my fault.

"Tess?" I heard Aaron call out, loud enough for everyone to hear him. "Hey, Tess. Your back doesn't look so good. Stop and let me take a look at it."

"No."

"Tess, c'mon, you're hurt," he tried to reason with me, his voice growing closer to me as I heard his boots scraping the dirt underneath them. He reached out to me and tried to yank me back. "Hey, I can see the blood—"

In one swift motion, I spun around and yanked him off of me, shoving him completely off of me — like he was a new sickness. "I'm fucking fine!"

Everything suddenly stopped around me; the horses, Mollie, Daryl, Michonne, and Dog. They all stopped and stared. The emotional side — the one that doesn't do well with death — is slowly coming back and, no matter how hard I try, I can't get that part of me to go away and leave me alone.

My head was spinning, as every face started to swirl and become blurry. The voices were coming back — almost like those whispers that we heard back there. Only, the voice belonged to Paul.

I love you, baby sister.

"Tess?" I heard a new voice enter the equation and didn't realize who it was, apparently, until they had their hands on my shoulders and was twirling me around to face them. "Hey, Tess. Listen to me. Hey."

Then, before I could control myself or the rest of my body, my legs turned to jelly and fell right from underneath me, as I crashed straight into Daryl's arms. He caught me, but we managed to fall straight down to the dirt underneath us.

I sat down next to him and my back was hovered, shaking while I started to cry all over again. I couldn't control my emotions this time, allowing it to all come out right here and now.

I couldn't actually believe that Daryl was there for me and right when I was about to break all apart, too. Everything hurt so much — worse than any other death had done to me before.

This one was different than the rest because it was my identical twin brother that was dead now. I didn't have much time to mourn his loss when it happened because the unknown surrounded us and I was out for instant revenge, which I received. But, Paul's death won't be forgotten. Nope, not from a long shot.

"I want my brother back," I cried out, my hands shaking, too, as I brought my head back up. "I want him back so bad."

I felt someone's hand lightly touch my back, knowing good and damn well that it was Daryl just from the way he touched me. My head fell forward again as my back hovered over, crying it out even more.

I needed him way more than he needed me. Another unexplained death of someone who was more worthy to be here than me. Paul should still be here. So should Glenn, Abraham, Sasha, Izzy, Carl, and Rick, too. They should all be here right now than me.

That's it. I'm the only one left and I fear more than anything else that, one day, I'll be telling all the children our stories of survival by myself.

Daryl leaned up and whispered in my ear, "C'mon, Tess." A brief pause. "You don't want to do this right now. Your girl is watching. Don't go down that dark road again. You know how hard it is to come back from it."

As much as I wanted to kick and scream at him for not being there for a while, I decided to just agree to disagree because, to a certain extent, he was completely right. So, I slowly started to put the pieces together one by one; and, realizing that I wasn't ever going to be complete again without Paul around, I decided to just put the pieces that I had left back together again.

As much as I was hurting inside, nothing would ever make sense to any outsiders. Still, I was unsure which pain was worse — the shock of what just happened or the ache of the emptiness that he left behind.

And, as much as I wanted to sit on this very road and mourn myself to death, I couldn't let it bring me completely down to its level. I had to get up and keep going, some way or another.

As much as it felt impossible to do so in the heat of the moment, I knew what Paul would say if he was here right now. "You gotta keep going, Tess. You can't give up. Ever."

So, I lifted my head and took a deep breath; and, although the scars would remain and the tears would still come after today, I gulped and pulled myself together. I stood up and brushed myself off, avoiding the glares and stares, and walked forward with my head held up.

That's it, Tess. It's time to go home.

• So... I'm not even gonna lie when I say that I started crying in this chapter, too, when Tess broke down in the middle of that road and just wanted her brother back. Man, I FELT that shit. Anyways, I apologize for not updating. Thing is, I have an actual excuse this time. I haven't had any phone service for a very long time now. Without service and/or WiFi, I have no way of updating. FINALLY, though! Am I right? So, just to clarify if y'all were wondering... I think that it is safe to say that, at this point in the never-ending apocalypse, Tess Rovia is someone to be described as being INSANE. Eh, maybe that isn't the right word for it, but you get my drift. When death occurs, she cannot physically, emotionally, and mentally grasp it and/or deal with it, in general. Plus, guys, she JUST lost her identical twin brother and, let's be honest, who WOULDN'T be okay right now? I mean, ever since day one when they were in the WOMB together until now... Man, I couldn't imagine. This is the worst pain that Tess has EVER felt... Until the "STORM" comes. 💔 BTW: IDK if I ever showed y'all that edit up there, so... Just in case I haven't, there it is! All the love .xx •