➳ TORY and I spent time with Aunt Tara while Mollie wandered off with Henry. Accidentally or not, it seemed to me that she wanted to spend more time with Henry than with her Aunt Tara.

Nevertheless, I didn't complain when she wandered off and Tara volunteered to look after Tory while I made my rounds around Hilltop and reuniting with some old flames and friends.

First, I approached Brie just as she was coming out of the medical trailer, seemingly looking over a clipboard in her hand. "Hey," I smiled and she looked up at me, surprised. "There you are."

"Tess?" she breathed out before I walked right into her, placing my arms around her stomach while hers were around my neck. "Oh, my gosh. What are you doing here?"

We separated, just as the clipboard nearly knocked me out on the back of my head. "The girls and I wanted to see Paul and Tara again," I answered through all the honesty in the world. "Saddiq told me that you came back here yesterday. Glad that you and Enid were here for Rosita before Saddiq came."

Brie nodded and replied, "Yeah, I was afraid that she wasn't going to make it. But, I'm glad that Enid and I were here for her."

I nodded, too, and placed my hands on my hips. I glanced away, seeing Alden off in the distance and working as a blacksmith, alongside Earl. "So, how is he? Alden, that is."

She smirked, glancing from Alden back to me, before signaling her head towards him and folding her arms over her chest. "Why don't you go and ask him, yourself?"

I shook my head and made sure that he won't catch me looking his way again. "Nah, I'm good."

"Tess," came Brie's warning tone, as she tried to look for my eyes. I allowed her to, but only for a split second. "He's not mad at you and you shouldn't be mad at him, either. You two used to be so close."

I nodded my head around before grunting out, "Yeah, I used to be close to a lot of people. Shit happens."

She shrugged her shoulders up and pursed her lips. "You two can't avoid each other forever. You know that, don't you?" She has no idea how well that I can avoid him. "The only thing that changed y'all is when I became pregnant with his child. You had something that I ruined, and I should be the one who is sorry."

I shook my head and waved my hand at her. "No, don't be—"

"No, seriously," she quickly cut me off before I could break out into song. "I am sorry. You forgave me before Alden could even explain himself." I really and truly was trying to avoid any sort of eye contact with her now. "He wanted to tell you about us. Even I wanted to tell you about us, but we never got around to telling anyone. It was our little secret, and what he did wasn't okay. He is sorry, trust me. You guys should talk about it and talk everything through, too."

I held my breath, just as I felt the desire to look up and turned my head right into his direction. As if he knew that I was staring, he slowly turned his head over in my direction as well, and I felt his eyes meet mine. It was like we were now standing right in front of each other. However, I didn't want to feel anything towards him anymore, so I quickly spun my head away and flashed my eyes back upon Brie instead.

"Mommy!"

I widened my eyes, seeing a little boy with curly brunette hair running straight up to Brie. He took him up in her arms and spun him around while he giggled. He was barely only a little over a year younger than Tory and, whenever he saw her, thought she was his best friend.

His name was Alden, Jr., but everyone just referred to him as AJ. He was Alden and Brie's son, which they had only a few months after Rick... died. He preferred to be more around his father than mother, and rumor has it that he has a sweet little crush on Tory, too.

She put him back on the ground and he turned, looking up at me before his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. "Aunt Tess!" He came flying over to me and I bent down on one knee, accepting his hug on the ground. He bounced back and frantically asked, "Where's Tory? Where's Tory?"

"Inside with Tara," I answered, grinning. "I'm pretty sure that she will be so happy to see you, AJ."

He was jumping up and down out of excitement when he spun his head around to look up at his mom. "Could I go see her, Mommy?!"

Brie laughed and nodded. "Of course, honey." With her barely getting that out, he started running straight towards the mansion, running like a crazy person. "AJ, c'mon, no running!"

I laughed until I finally stood back up on my two feet, now seeing someone new beside Brie. "That boy. I don't know where he gets that craziness from."

"You, obviously," Brie laughed back and crossed her arms under her chest. "He did not get that from me."

I gulped just as I saw Alden standing and talking with Brie right in front of my face. I held back until he opened his mouth to speak to me and I shook my head, practically running right past him. I did not want to speak to him.

"Hey," I heard him call out for me, but I didn't stop or turn back. "Hey, Tess. C'mon, wait up." Then, he was there in front of me and holding me back from running away again; even though, I did try to run out of his grasp. "Let's talk. Can we talk?"

I stepped away and barked back, "I have nothing to say to you."

"Okay," he sighed out, shaking his head. "Then, can I talk to you?" I didn't want to hear his excuses or anything else anymore. He has tried every time that I have ever came up here to visit. "What Brie and I had before AJ was sex — and sex only. I was looking for something more and I thought that I could have that with you, but Brie became pregnant and started showing. I'm sorry, okay? I led you on while having Brie on the side. She already knows this, so isn't no secret. But, after AJ, we did fall in love and it was real. It still is."

"I don't care," I hissed back, looking straight into his darkish eyes now. "If this is you trying to explain and apologize, then I don't wanna—"

"This is me apologizing and explaining myself," he tried convincing me, but I just looked away. "I just want—"

"Dammit, Alden," I cursed, now cutting him off. "What do you want from me?!"

It was an intense moment when, almost like the next few seconds played out in slow motion, when he glared down into my eyes — my soul — and he yelled back: "I just want my best friend back!"

I swallowed my next breath and stood back, trying to study his face; as if, it matched his heart. I couldn't tell if he was being real or not at first; but, then, it started to come together that he was being honest-to-God sincere. Maybe I never realized just how close that we were with each other before Brie... and before AJ, too. Tara was my best friend, but he was my best friend, too.

I didn't want to accept his apology or hear any of his explanations, either, so I just sniffles and tried to suck the tears back inside. I will not cry over him anymore. "You know what, Al? You should've thought about that before you broke my heart."

Then, with that said, I shook my head and walked right passed him, and he let me.

➳ FINALLY breaking away from Alden and heading away from him, I noticed Luke nearby; as if, he wanted to talk. I was going to get to him after I talked to Tammy Rose.

"Hey," I spoke up to her with her back turned to me. She heard me and spun around, almost not recognizing me. "How are you?"

"Oh, honey," she whispered out, sticking her arms for me. She wrapped them around my neck and I sunk into her shoulder, closing my eyes and enjoying her embrace around me. "I am so glad to see you."

Over the course of the last few years, Tammy Rose had sort of became a mother-figure to me. After Rick, the kids and I spent a long time here than in Alexandria. She was there for me every single day, trying to cheer me up and get me out of the mansion for a little while. Nearly every single day, she held me together and took me out on walks, just for us to do something and chat with one another.

We separated, but she held onto me and squeezed my arms. "How are you doing, sweetheart?"

I slowly nodded and took a deep breath. "I'm alright. The girls and I are all doing pretty good. We came to see Tara, Paul, and just about everyone else, too."

She nodded and asked, "Where are those sweet girls at? I have sure missed them, too."

I smirked and claimed, "Oh, y'know, they're all around here and there. Tory is with Tara and AJ inside, and I believe Mollie is running around with Henry somewhere. I'll get them to come see you soon."

She smiled and pat my arm before taking hers back. "Good, and I'm glad that y'all came back to see us here."

She started to turn back around when he suddenly blurted out, "Yeah, I told Tara when we arrived that I was thinking of staying for a while."

She nearly broke her neck to turn and look at me, surprise written all over her face. "Really now?" I nodded with a smile, and she seemed very happy about that. "Oh, honey, I am so glad to hear that. I hope that y'all do end up staying for a while. I swear, all I hear your brother say is how much he misses you and those girls. He's gonna be really happy to see y'all when he gets back."

I nodded and placed my hands on my hips now. "Yeah, we cannot wait till we see him, too. All I ever hear my girls say is how much they miss him, too."

With that said, Tammy Rose smirked before she stepped back towards me and moved some of my stray hairs out of my face, leaned in and pecked my cheek. "Stay. I could sure use your company again, Tess. I miss having my daughter-figure around. So does Earl, too."

I smiled and tried really hard not to cry, since I did miss her and Earl very much. Truthfully, they were just like parents to me — which is something that I haven't had in such a very long time, since mine and Paul's folks were alive. Earl and Tammy Rose were also like grandparents to my girls, too, and they treated them like their grandchildren in return.

At the end of the day, we all used to be just like family. We were blood, something that nobody could break. But, then, Rick died and nothing was truly ever the same again. Everything fell apart.

Knots untie and locks get picked.

"I'll go see him soon," I promised her about Earl. I smirked and sighed, shaking my head. "I better go see what I can do before dinner is swerved."

She smiled and reassured, "I'll save you a seat."

I quickly thanked her before walking away, heading straight towards Luke, who was with the rest of his crew. However, when he saw that I was coming his way, he stepped away from them, so that it would only be him and I.

"Hey," he breathed out, as I came up to him. He glanced back to make sure his friends weren't staring us down, placing his hands together. "Missed you."

"Seriously?" I practically laughed out, shaking my head. "I wasn't even gone that long. Just trying to reunite with everyone again."

He smiled, too, and I felt his hand reach out for mind and took it with his own. "Well, you're still very beautiful, too." We both grinned at one another, while I tried to hide my rosy-red cheeks away from him. "I sort of heard what you told your friend, Tara, earlier. You and the girls are thinking of staying here a while?" I slowly nodded before he quickly added, "And it's your twin brother that runs things here now?"

Again, I nodded and replied, "Yeah, he's out right now. I hope that he'll be back home soon." I watched Luke's eyes and mouth; as if, he wanted to say something else to me. I tightened my hand with his and he looked up into my eyes. "I'll put in a good word for you and your friends, so that y'all can stay with us."

He smiled and nodded. "Thank you. Seriously. We all appreciate it and you, Tess."

I didn't know what I was going to say, so I found it to be a good thing when I heard someone announce: "Dinner's ready!"

➳ I grabbed my plate of food and turned around, trying to find a spot to sit down at. I could see Aunt Tara, Mom, and Tory sitting with Tammy Rose and Earl.

However, my eyes started to wander until I saw Henry sitting off by himself at one of the picnic tables. I held pain in my heart for seeing him so alone, so I came around and smiled down at him.

"Need a friend?"

His face lit up as he breathed out, "Mollie, hey. Yes, come sit with me. Please."

I walked and slid in, sitting in front of him. I cleared my throat while trying to flatten out my napkin, laying it down on my lap. Then, I looked up at him and saw that he was already smiling.

"I really and truly did miss you," he confessed, placing his hand on the table and snaking it across to meet mine in the middle. Our hands intertwined in the middle, grinning from ear to ear. "Now that you're back, how long are y'all gonna stay?"

I shrugged and sighed. "Hopefully, forever."

"Me, too," he agreed; but, then, glanced down at his plate. "Anyways, I'm done, so I'm gonna put my plate away. Talk later?"

I smiled and enthusiastically nodded. "Sure! I'll just go speak and sit with my mom, anyways."

With that said, he stood up and walked around the picnic table; and, before walking away, he dipped down and kissed me once last time before leaving. I smiled before looking away to see if anyone else was staring us down. Nobody was, thankfully.

I decided to get up and head over to my mom's table, so that I wouldn't be all alone. On my way to the table, I looked back and saw Henry talking to the kids that live here. Their names were Gage, Addy, and Rodney. They didn't like me very much and I didn't care for them, either.

I wondered what they were saying to Henry, but I knew that — if anything — he would tell me what they said later.

"Mollie!" I heard someone call my name and looked up to see Tammy Rose with her arms up. "Come join us, honey!"

I did, sitting down and joining them. I sat beside Tory at the end of the picnic table. Next to her was Mom and Aunt Tara. Across from us sat Tammy Rose and Earl. It was like having a small family reunion right here at the table.

"It's so good to see you finally, Mollie," Tammy Rose laughed, smiling from ear to ear. "Your mother was telling us how you've been glued to Henry's side since you got here earlier."

My eyes widened, hoping that none of them saw Henry and I together just now. They noticed my sudden weirdness and shook it off until I heard Tory suddenly say: "Mollie has a boyfriend!"

"No, I don't! Shut up!"

"You do, too! Henry is your boyfriend!"

"And AJ is yours!"

"No, he isn't!"

"Shut it, you two," Mom demanded, stomping her foot down. That hard glare that she sent to us both was not to be taken lightly. "Anyways... Mollie, Earl was telling us how Henry is going to train to be a blacksmith here at Hilltop. He said that, if we end up staying for a while, you could even learn, too."

"Me?"

It never really occurred to me before of what I would do once I grew up. I mean, before the world went straight to shit, I was just a little girl and hadn't had the pleasure of exploring possible career options. And, even after all this time, I never thought of what I could do to even help out around the communities. I was just going to take guard and watch over things, but if Earl was willing to teach me alongside Henry, then I would jump at the opportunity.

"I truly think that you would be really good at it," Earl was saying, just as I was drawing myself out of my deep thoughts. "The next generation has to be smarter and stronger than the last, if you're gonna help lead it."

He was completely right and, since he was, I decided to nod frantically and smile. "I agree, and I think that it's a really good idea."

"Really?" Mom's face fell with her eyebrows together in question. "I'm little surprised, that's all. If you end up doing it and getting trained by Earl, then we can stay for a while longer. Maybe... forever."

I smirked and nodded, agreeing with her. "Y'know," I said, picking up my fork and ready to eat, "forever sounds like a pretty good idea."

➳ "TESS!"

Michonne and others started running towards me, as I was cleaning up after dinner. "What's wrong?"

She had to take a moment to catch her breath as they yield to a sudden stop in front of me. "Rosita just woke up." And? "We gotta go. Now."

She grabbed ahold of my arm and started to drag me with her, but I didn't move whatsoever. "I don't understand! What's going on?"

She stopped, gulped, and looked down into my soul — not just my eyes. "Someone was after Rosita and Eugene in the woods," she wanted, trying to explain piece by piece. "They could be after Daryl, Aaron... and your brother, too. We have to go. Now!"

My heart stopped, as I tried to find my breath again, but hearing that Daryl, Aaron, and Paul — along with Eugene — were in possible danger, it frightened me in ways that I haven't felt in a very long time. I had to get to them and save them before it's too late.

"Mom!" I heard Mollie call out, now running up to me. "What's wrong?"

I didn't know what to say as I started to run after Michonne, Magna, and Yumiko. I wasn't going to hold Mollie back, if she decided to come with us. And, when she ran after me, I knew that I was going to regret it.

➳ I don't know how, but we found them in the middle of the chaos. It was foggy and they were practically locked inside of a cemetery.

"Eugene," Michonne called out to him on the other side of the gate, trying to get it opened. "Eugene!"

"Michonne, honest to God, am I happy to see you," Eugene said back to her, as we all came up and tried to get this damn thing opened, somehow. "The gate's obstructed by topsoil erosion. We can't get out."

"I need you to push," Michonne called back, but seeing my brother straight ahead in the middle of all this, I couldn't bare to see him all by himself.

"Fuck this," I cursed, now climbing up the walls and gate.

"What?" Michonne breathed back, shaking her head and looking up at me. "What are you doing?"

I glared down at her and stated, "After all I've done, I can't be the hero in all this. But, I'm going to do everything that I possibly can to save my brother."

With that said, I hopped and jumped across on to the other side. "Mom," Mollie called out and tried to reach out for me. As long as she was with Michonne, she was going to be alright.

Almost like everything was in slow motion for the next couple of seconds, I spun around and immediately was faced by a Walker, who I took down with just a kick to the chest before spinning my machete out and driving it down into its head. Then, I took down yet another one.

Through the fog, I saw my brother and started sprinting towards him. "Paul!"

He spun around with his sword in hand and stopped himself before he could take my head right off with it. "Tess?" I run up to him and he embraced me, as I felt his warmth run through my body and his exhausted breath on my shoulder, tickling my ear. "My God. Thank you."

I didn't exactly know why he was thanking me, but I had the suspicious that he was thanking God that I was here with him and alive. Grunts and groans from the dead started to get closer, so we separated and I nodded towards him.

"Just like old times, remember?"

He nodded and that it when he pounced into action, turning our backs on one another, but sticking them to each other with our weapons up. The Walkers made their way up to us, as we took down each and every one of them with our boots and weapons. We kept our formation, having the same thoughts running through our identical minds.

"Jesus! Tess!" I suddenly heard someone say, now realizing that it was Aaron on the other side of the gate with everyone else. Mollie's eyes pleaded with me to come over. "Come on!"

I turned to glance at my brother and he nodded, so we started to walk towards the gate to go back home. We only had a few more to take out, so he stuck to the left side while I took care of the right. I smacked down with my machete, slicing its head right off.

Then, I spun around to take care of the one that was creeping towards Paul. I went to slice its head off when it suddenly duck, avoiding my machete, and snuck up behind me. I felt pain in my lower half, like a needle sliding in, until I heard Paul yell out: "Tess! No!"

Was I being bitten or stabbed? I had no idea, but there was pain. Mollie was screaming and crying for me, as I held my breath, and the Walker was taken down off of my back.

However, just as I spun around, the same Walker that had me was behind Paul. His face said it all, shock and hurt. Pain. I heard the stab go completely through him before I heard the Walker whisper to him, "You are where you do not belong."

Paul's body fell and the Walker remained with the sword in hand, standing there. I couldn't breathe, but I felt my body shaking with sadness and anger. "No!"

I charged forward and swung my machete back out, ignoring the pain in my heart and lower back for the moment. The Walker tried to get away, but I quickly grabbed it by the back of the hair and swung it back to me. It fell to the ground and I was just on top of it, deciding to use my fists rather than my machete.

I started to hit it over and over again on repeat, groaning and crying. Commotion was going on behind me, but I didn't care. This... thing hurt my brother. My twin brother.

"Mom?" I heard Mollie call out before she placed her hands on my shoulders, trying to drag me off of the Walker. Someone surly did, but I didn't know who it was. It couldn't have been her, though. "Mommy... Uncle Paul is..."

I smacked everyone off of me as I crawled over to Paul, his eyes somewhat open and his mouth ajar. "Paul?" I cried out, grabbing ahold of his hand. "Paul, I'm here. Don't leave me. Please don't."

"Tess," he whispered out, but barely. "I..."

"Why did you have to save me?" I cried out, wanting to blame him. "You should've just—"

"I love you, baby sister," he breathed out and I was bawling at this point. He is not leaving me. I will not accept it.

"Don't say it like it's the last thing that you're gonna say to me," I cried out, squeezing his hand more. He kept looking at me; as if, he was looking up at the sky or a passing bird. "Paul? Paul, I love you more."

Then, as if he was waiting on me to say it, he took his very last breath and his head fell over to the side. "Paul?" I called out, shaking him just as he stopped squeezing my hand back. "Paul? Paul, no... Paul! PAUL!"

Mollie dropped down to her knees beside me and cried out, just as I heard everyone start to whimper. "Uncle Paul, no..." Her head fell down to his knees, her back shaking with each sob.

N-No... This isn't possible. He didn't just die. He didn't... He didn't just take his very last breath. No. No. No. Paul...

"Paul!" I screamed out, trying to pick his body up to get moving again. "Paul! No! No! No!"

"He's... He's gone, Tess," I heard Aaron say above me, crying as well. "I am so sorry."

I screamed out again, feeling the hot tears run down my face. I hadn't cried in so long that it didn't feel possible for me to cry now, but I was. I was mourning the loss of my twin brother.

"No! No... Paul. Paul, wake up!" I cried out, shaking his body again. "Paul?! Paul, please wake up!"

"Tess," I heard a new voice call out to me, nearly whispered my name out. It was Daryl. No matter how long we've been apart, I have never forgotten the sound of his voice. "Tess, come on. Walk away."

I felt pain in my heart, something that I haven't felt in a long time. However, this pain was much different than any that I have felt before. This pain cut deeper; as if, the sword had went right through me, too. I felt what he had just felt because we were twins. We would always be twins, no matter what.

"I should've been here more. I should've stayed with you more. I shouldn't have ever left you," I sobbed out, laying on top of his body. My back was heaving as I held onto him. "I should've stayed with you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

I snapped back and tried shaking him again. "You can't leave me, Paul. Please... Please?!"

"Tess, c'mon," I heard Aaron day, taking ahold of my shoulder and trying to drag me off of my brother. "I... I have to take care of him before he..."

"No!" I yelled back, pushing him off of me. I turned and looked up at him with tears clouding my vision, along with the fog already there. "He's my brother!"

"You don't have to," Aaron argued, stepping up. "Let me."

I didn't have time to argue when I turned my head back around, fiddling with my side until I found my small knife and took it out. I held it in my left hand than my right, studying my brother's precious face. Once I do this, he can't ever come back.

"Tess? Tess, I'm leaving now. Aren't you gonna say goodbye?"

"Where are you going, Paul?"

"Home."

"To Hilltop?"

"Nah. I'm going back home, to Mom and Dad. Back to everyone that we've ever lost."

"Won't you miss me and the girls, and everyone else?"

"Of course, but I'm not actually going anywhere, y'know. I'll always be close and watching after you all."

"I love you, Paul."

"I love you more, Tess. More than you will ever know."

Holding his hand with my right, I used my left to quickly stab him through the back of his head, so that he wouldn't have to come back as a Walker. I had my eyes closed when I did it while the tears continued to leave trails down my face and neck.

Then, once it was over, I screamed out again and threw my knife down to the ground. "No! No...," I yelled out, hoping that someone would come and save him. "I just want my brother back! Why couldn't you stay? Paul? Paul, no... Come back! Come back, please!"

"It's my time to go, Tess. I hope you understand."

"I never will, Paul. I don't want to live in a world where you're not in it. Let me come with you."

"You have to stay, Tess. Okay? Just stay there with your girls and the others. They'll only make you stronger."

"I... I can't do this again. I can't lose anyone else. I just wanna be with you, Paul, forever and always."

"I'm never too far away."

I started to hit his body and cried out more and more. He can't leave me. "Why did you save me?! Why, why, why..."

Someone came up behind me and threw their arm around me, yanking me away from my brother. I tried to fight their grip, but to no avail. I just accepted it and allowed them to hold me back, screaming and crying out for my brother to come back to me.

I practically melted in their grip and drowned in my tears. All I kept saying was: "I just want my brother back..."

I want him back, even if I die in return. I just want him back. I was supposed to die, not him. That knife was for me, not him. He should still be here, not me.

Why did he have to save me for? I just want my brother back! Why, why, why...

• I... Idk what to actually say right now. I am actually bawling my fcking eyes out WITH TESS. I don't know what to say, so I'm gonna just say that Paul shouldn't have EVER died. I had to give him his last words to Tess. She deserved that, y'know. Anyways, down below after this message, y'all will see some edits that go with this chapter and the events that took place. I made them, so enjoy. But, um... All I want is Paul back, too 💔 It's not fair that he died. It's such shit. 😭 All the love .xx •

my fucking heart has been
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