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Chapter Quote:
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength. Loving someone deeply gives you courage."
~Lao Tzu
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Chapter 3: Savium

Chris

"Hold still would you?" I griped as I tried to fix Nathan's uniform. He'd chosen to wear his military gear for the actual ceremony, but had chosen to wear a tuxedo for the after-party. It'd been two months of preparation for this day, at least on mine and Nathan's part. Hannah Lee, Abigail, and mom had done the rest of it.

"He hasn't been this nervous since finding out if he qualified to be a SEAL," James joked over Skype.

"I think the last time he was this nervous was when he was getting the courage to ask Hannah Lee out," Liam chimed in from Skype as well. They had been unable to attend the wedding in person, but they had time to talk before the ceremony, so we had a group call going on. I wish they could've been here in person because Nathan was going to need all the support he could get because as much as he was looking forward to spending his life with Hannah Lee for the rest of his years, Nathan worried about marrying her. And by that I mean he worried about the ever present, ever looming possibility that he may not make it back one day. That he could leave her alone and widowed. Even worse, he worried about leaving her alone, widowed, and with child. He was good at his job, but I knew that even the best could die too, and so did he. None of us were immune to it, and we'd both had a brother in arms die before, so we understood the very real threat of death. All of this he'd confided in me last night after his small bachelor party.

"All of you can just shut up," he grumbled. Someone knocked on the door before poking their head in the room. It turned out to be my sister. She always looked amazing but something about her makeup... her signature winged eye liner made her gaze more intense and cat-like, her silver eye shadow making her green eyes pop.

"May I come in?" she asked.

"You're half way in already so might as well," Nathan said.

"Why are you cranky? It's your wedding day," Abigail replied, stepping into the room. She wore a floor-length, silvery dress that was flowing fabric at the bottom while the top was made of a delicate late. It was sleeveless which was nice since although it was fall in Texas, it could still get hot but the nights could get cool. It had a sweetheart neckline and a relatively low-cut back. With a simple diamond necklace with a matching pair of earrings and bracelet, she looked stunning. Had the dress been white, I would've thought she would be the one getting married. The idea of it made me start wondering what she would look like married... and more importantly, who that guy would be. It'd take a very special man to marry my sister.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Abigail queried, staring at me. "Do I have something on my face? Oh god, did I mess up my makeup?"

"No, you just look great. I haven't seen you that dressed up since prom," I mused.

"Well there's no point in getting dressed up when you're riding horses all the time. Listen, you boys almost ready? Hannah Lee and I are both ready to go so..."

"Hey Abigail, Nathan and Chris are telling us you have a boyfriend," James remarked.

My sister's face fell into an expression of annoyance. "Have they now?"

"And what's more, it's Chris's friend," Liam added.

"His name is Grey," Abigail answered casually. "Nathan and Hannah Lee invited him to the wedding. It's no big deal."

"So that romantic horseback ride through the hill country was nothing but a friendly getting to know each other?" Liam prodded.

"All of you can shut up," Abigail said, echoing Nathan's earlier sentiment. "Are you all ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Nathan said.

"We'll let you go and can't wait to see the video of the ceremony," Liam said.

"Good luck! Don't screw this up!" James said. Nathan flipped them off. With good-natured grins, our two younger brothers waved good bye and hung up.

"Nathan, Chris, you two go to the barn. We'll be there soon," Abigail said. "Nathan, you look perfect."

"As do you. Come on, let's go!" Nathan practically ran out of the room whilst Abigail and I shared an amused look before following. She disappeared into Hannah Lee's room. I tried to catch a glimpse of my future sister-in-law, but to my dismay, all I saw was the inside of her room. I caught up with Nathan in the stable where the inside arena had been transformed into an altar. The once dirt floor had been evened and covered in a wooden platform for everyone to walk up. The altar itself was adorned with lights and poppies. The same lights were hung on the ceiling and columns supporting it. The once fluorescent lights that lit up the arena were off, replaced by hanging lanterns that gave a romantic, calm atmosphere.

Mostly everyone had taken their seats. Mom was sitting in the front with Grey, chatting cheerfully with him. On the other side of mom was Hannah Lee's mom and grandmother. Grandma Edna... we all adored her, even though there were some things that came out of her mouth that could not be repeated.

Ever.

She was a ninety-eight year old pistol and if she didn't like something, she'd be damned if she didn't make it known. She also made it known that she found me and my brothers extremely attractive. I'm also pretty sure that if Nathan wasn't marrying Hannah Lee, she would've asked him to marry her.

"Did you see her?" Nathan asked as I took my place next to him on the altar.

"No, I tried. But it's Hannah Lee. Of course she's going to look gorgeous," I told him. I glanced at my watch, then excused myself when realizing I needed to meet Abigail outside the house to begin the procession. To my surprise, Hannah Lee was waiting outside with her. I thought she'd be staying inside so no one would see her until she walked down the aisle. But unsurprisingly, she was absolutely gorgeous in her gown. It was a puffy, white lace with spaghetti straps that formed a slight V-neck. She had her hair curled and pulled up into a half ponytail. Her veil was long and the edges were lined with a lace similar to the one on her dress.

"You ready?" I inquired, holding my arm out for her. She grinned, looping her arm through mine and holding her bouquet in the other hand. We made our way to the barn where, when they saw us approach, the music started. Everyone stood up as Abigail and I made our way to the altar. We took our respective places and waited for the bride to appear.

It wasn't long before Hannah Lee appeared in view, sitting gracefully atop of Kodiak with her father leading the horse. She slid down and a stable hand hurried to take the horse away, but not before Hannah Lee kissed the horse on the nose. She began walking down the aisle towards Nathan, which is when I shifted my attention from her to him. My brother rarely cried. The only time I'd ever seen him cry was when dad died, and that had been once, and only I knew about that. I could now say that I'd seen my brother cry twice in his life. Tears were welling in his eyes at the sight of her, one trickling slowly down his cheek. Hannah Lee's dad kissed her on the cheek before handing her over to Nathan when they reached the altar. Even Mr. Fowler was getting teary-eyed. I glanced over at my sister to see how she was holding up. Even under her makeup, I could see her face getting red, but other than that, she was holding it together.

Hannah Lee was beaming at Nathan who was returning the smile wholeheartedly. The priest began talking. It was when the vows came that everyone, including myself, let a tear or two shed.

"I knew for a long time I wanted to be with you," Hannah Lee began, "But life always seemed to come between us. Whether it was family tragedies or other loves, we seemed destined to love each other from afar. But then something happened, and it changed my life forever. Because this rebellious, caring, handsome guy finally asked me again if I still wanted to try things like we had wanted to all those times before. You are my rock, my home, and my reminder that no matter what life throws at you, you can overcome it through love and family. I can't wait to start a life with you, to start a family of our own, and to spend the rest of my life with you. Whatever comes our way, good or bad, we'll be able to handle it because you're one of the strongest people I know, and your strength gives me strength as well. Thank you for being my best friend, my confidante, and my therapist for whenever I need to get things off of my chest. I love you and I can't wait to become Mrs. Nathan Kennedy. I love you."

"The first time I ever saw you, you were this feisty little brunette who had befriended my crazy little sister. The two of you were unstoppable together, and I always cared about you. But one day I found myself wishing you weren't just my sister's best friend. I found myself wishing you were by my side every day rather than hers. I found myself looking forward to gym class because it meant I could see you and hang out with you, just the two of us. Then I joined the Navy, and I thought any chance of dating you was out of the question. But like every other time, you surprised me. You stuck by my side through the thick and the thin and no matter how much I say thank you and I love you, you'll never know just how much you helped me through those times. You are selfless, kind, amazing, and beautiful and for the sake of our future kids, I hope they take on after you because god help us if they turn out like me." That earned a laugh from the crowd because anyone who knew Nathan knew about his track record in school, mainly detentions. "I am so proud of you. I'm proud of the things you've done already and the great things I know you're going to accomplish in the future. There's no one else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. I love you."

"Nathan, do you take this woman to be your wife?" the priest asked.

"I do," he said immediately, excitement glittering in his eyes.

"And do you, Hannah Lee, take this man to be your husband?"

"I do," Hannah breathed giddily.

"Then I am happy to announce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride."

"Thought you'd never get to that part," Nathan said with a grin. He cupped Hannah Lee's face in his hands and kissed her. She slipped her hands into his hair, smiling into the kiss. Everyone was cheering as they broke it off to look at everyone in the crowd, but their gaze soon went back to each other.

And for the rest of the night, they couldn't stop staring at each other.
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Abigail

The wedding had been amazing. Dinner had been held in the backyard underneath strands of lights wound in the trees and bushes creating a fairy-tale like effect. I had my first dance with Chris since he and I had been the Maid of Honor and the Best Man and we joined Nathan and Hannah Lee for their first dance which was to the song Tequila by Dan and Shay (probably because tequila had been involved for them to finally admit their feelings for each other but that was just my speculation). But afterwards, I tended to dance with Grey. At one point Grandma Edna intervened, stealing him away for a dance. There was no way I was turning that woman down or else I might be six feet under. Later on in the night when I was chatting to her, she had stared at Grey who was talking with Chris on the other side of the backyard and said, "If you don't tap that, I will."

I nearly spewed the sip of champagne I'd just taken.

Unfortunately Grey had seen that almost happen and by the slightly confused, slightly amused (mainly the latter) expression on his face, I could tell he was wondering what Grandma Edna had said that could've caused my reaction.

He didn't forget the rest of the night either because the next time we danced, he brought it up, trying to pry it out of me. I stubbornly refused to say. I also didn't have enough alcohol in me to repeat it, although if he waited long enough into the night and I had a few more drinks, he might get it out of me.

The party went on until two in the morning until the last few guests trickled out. Nathan and Hannah Lee went to bed immediately after so they could get up in time to get dressed and catch their flight for their honeymoon to Greece. Hannah Lee hadn't been able to stop talking about it since she found out that that's where Nathan had booked them for. They would be gone for a week and I didn't know what I was going to do without my best friend around.

I was still wired with adrenaline from the party, not to mention I was pretty tipsy, if not drunk. But I wasn't the only one. Chris and Grey were up too so we grabbed a bottle of wine from the cellar and went into the living room where we sat down and drank some more. Around three Chris crashed, but he didn't even make it to the bedroom. He just passed out on the couch, leaving me and Grey on our own.

"Okay, I don't know about you, but I'm full of energy and I don't want to go to bed yet," Grey said.

"Want to go to the stables?" I suggested. He agreed, so we went outside, heading to the barn. Upon arriving there, I led Drogon out of his stable and grabbed a set of brushes, handing one to Grey while I took it upon myself to comb out Drogon's mane.

"So have you brushed your horse in a fancy dress before or is this a first?" Grey queried, peering over Drogon's back at me.

"This is not a first. I did this after every school dance and half the time Hannah Lee was with me. We've done this after a few weddings."

"Is it always calming?"

"I've never had a time when it wasn't."

"It's good therapy."

"Horses in general are. It's why all my therapy sessions involve them and if it's rainy out, then we stay in here and ride around the arena or we groom them, whichever my patient wants."

The two of us fell silent as Grey seemed to fall into his own thoughts. And we stayed like that for about ten minutes before he made his way over to next to me so he could brush Drogon's other side.

"So what did Grandma Edna say to you earlier that warranted that reaction out of you?" he prodded.

"You're not going to drop that, are you?" I mused.

"Nope. Because whatever it was is so bad that you get embarrassed just thinking about telling me."

"That would be because it has to do with you."

"Oh?"

I sighed. "You really want to know?"

"Yes," he replied immediately.

I felt a blush creep onto my face, hesitating before I said, "She said that if I don't 'tap that', then she would."

Grey burst out laughing as I squeezed my eyes shut from embarrassment. It took him almost a minute just for him to collect himself enough to say 'That's amazing' before continuing his fit of laughter.

"I knew you'd get a kick out of that," I remarked.

"What I don't get is why you were embarrassed to tell me about that." He paused and I knew he was amount to come to the inevitable conclusion, which he did. "I mean the only reason that would've embarrassed you is if you wanted to or if you like me and- wait a second, do you like me?"

I didn't say anything because I was entering into dangerous territory for me. I hadn't dated much in my life, having only a couple boyfriends and they didn't last long because they didn't understand me. They didn't get that I didn't always want to talk about what was going through my head, that sometimes I just wanted some time to myself, that just because I was silent didn't mean I was upset or mad. I was just like that.

"Abigail," Grey said. His tone was softer now, gentler.

"Hmm?" I answered, unable to resist answering him.

"You have a very good poker face, so I can't tell if you're silent because I'm right or wrong."

"No, you're right, I do like you..."

"Do you really?"

"Yes..." I said quietly. He turned to look at me but I remained facing Drogon. My face was flaming from awkwardness.

"You're really good at hiding it."

I shrugged. "You're a brother to my own brother, and I wouldn't want to make things awkward in the off chance you like me back."

"Why an off chance?"

"Because I've never had much luck with guys in my life and whenever something seems to be going the way I want it to, it gets ripped out from underneath me, so I just don't put myself out there anymore. The only reason you're getting this out of me is because I've had enough alcohol that my filter has come off."

I placed the comb in the grooming box, taking Grey's brush from him too, avoiding eye contact at all costs. I led Drogon back into his stall, ignoring the sensation of knowing that Grey watching every move I made. I shut the stall door and without saying a word, walked out of the stable. My companion followed me. My stomach was doing flip flops; I had a knot in my throat. I had just admitted that I liked him and he'd been silent, which led me to believe he didn't feel the same, and once more, a guy I liked didn't like me back.

We walked up the steps to the front door when Grey took my hand in his. I looked at him to see what he wanted. His free hand found its way up to my cheek, cupping it. His head jerked forward ever so slightly, as if he wanted kiss me. I knew he wanted to. I wasn't blind to that. And my brain was screaming at me to reach up and kiss him because it was obvious he was wanting my approval for it. But then there was that tiny voice in my head saying no, I'm imagining things, because no other guy I've liked has liked me before, so why would this one be any different? That voice, despite being so tiny, was very loud and very persuasive.

But then Grey leaned in, having made up his mind, and his lips connected with mine. It was soft and slow, as if he was testing the waters, as if he knew I was uncomfortable. But I wasn't uncomfortable with the kiss like he probably thought I was. I was uncomfortable because I was shy. It'd been ages since I'd kissed a guy, let alone a guy I liked this much.

Grey started to pull back but I stood up taller and put my lips back on his which he willingly obliged to continue kissing me. His hand left mine only so he could wrap it around my waist, pulling me closer into him. My arms snaked around his neck.

We broke apart a couple moments later, foreheads bracing against each other. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears because I couldn't believe that'd just happened. I opened my eyes to see what he was doing to find his green eyes staring at me, studying my face.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he queried.

"Sleeping in because I'm going to have a hangover," I confessed.

"Could we go on another horseback ride again?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because I want to spend some alone time with you," he told me.

"I like the sound of that."

Grey kissed me on my forehead, grabbing my hand again and leading me in the house. We passed the living room to find Chris still passed out. I left Grey's side for a moment to go put a blanket over my brother, but quickly made my way back over to him. The two of us padded quietly upstairs, a feat considering we were both still slightly drunk. We stopped outside my bedroom.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, giving me a kiss.

"I can't wait," I replied, butterflies fluttering madly in my stomach.

I entered my room before I let myself kiss him once more because I knew if we started it up again, it might lead to things neither of us was ready for this early on into whatever this was. But for the remainder of the time that I was awake, I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. I couldn't stop feeling his lips pressing into mine. I couldn't stop smelling his intoxicating cologne. I couldn't stop seeing his deep, green eyes that stared into mine as if he could see every thought racing through my brain.

I fell asleep knowing that I was head over heels for this guy, and that I was going to have my heart broken when he left to go back on tour in just a couple of months. But he was worth it.

Love was always worth it.
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