Enjoy :)

Chapter Quote:
"Loving a soldier is not hard. The distance is hard. The worry is hard. The sacrifices are hard. But loving him...that's the easiest thing I have ever done."
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Chapter 6: Redi

Nathan

Talking to Hannah and learning my brother had died had shaken me to my core. It made me much more aware of the reality of death, and how often I faced it every day. It made me realize that any day could be my last and that any day, I could leave Hannah Lee widowed and my future son fatherless.

The idea of that terrified me.

I wondered how James and Liam had taken the news, or if mom had even been able to reach them. I wondered how Abigail, my baby sister who had had lost both a brother and a boyfriend, was holding up. I worried constantly about them because although they were not on the battlefield, they were dealing with the aftermath of it, and I knew how bad that could be. I knew Abigail and mom dealt with people who had seen their military brothers and sisters die on the battlefield, they dealt with soldiers who had severe PTSD, ones who had either seriously considered suicide or had attempted it. Hannah Lee dealt with special needs kids and even on occasion kids who had lost one of their parents or siblings in war.

Those three women were the strongest people I knew, and every day I wanted to make them proud and to be as strong as they were. And I wanted to be there for them during Chris and Grey's funeral service. I had a mission coming up, an important one that I probably wouldn't be able to get out of, but I had to try. Even if it meant just being able to be home for a day, to honor my brother's life and to honor Grey's, then that was okay.

I took a deep breath before knocking on my superior's door. He allowed me to enter. Captain Fortworth was sitting at his desk, going over some briefings it looked like. My superior was a tough, hard-as-nails man, and few got along with him. I was one of the few who did. He had been there for me in the aftermath of my father's death, after that, he had almost become a father figure to me. I loved my father, but after what had happened, I couldn't help but feel some anger towards him, which made me feel guilty, but I tried not to think about that too much. I tried not to think about him too much except for the good times.

"Nathan, what can I do for you?" Fortworth queried without looking up.

"Sir, I need to make a request to take two days off."

"What for?" he replied, standing up to look at me now.

"My brother, Chris, was just killed in action along with most of the others in his squad. I would like to make a formal request to make it home for his funeral and for one of his brother's, Grey. He was my sister's boyfriend and a good friend. I want to be there for my family if possible."

"I'll make some calls and see when your brother's funeral is going to be, and see if we can work it into the schedule before this mission. But you know I would never give you false hope, so I must tell you that the chances are low."

"I understand. I just wanted to try in the off chance I could," I answered. "Thank you, sir."

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine."

"If you need to talk, son, you know where to find me."

"Thank you, sir. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to try and call my brothers, to check to make sure they're okay."

"I'll see you at dinner then." I saluted him then turned around to leave. "Nathan."

I faced him again. "Yes, sir?"

"Take care of yourself too."

"I will, sir." I left his room and went to my bunk. Thankfully there was no one else in there. I pulled out my phone and called Liam first. He had always looked up to Chris, especially in high school. I hadn't exactly been the most stellar role model with all my detentions, but I'd been the one to help him bulk up. I figured out through word of mouth later on that he'd been bullied, although this was unbeknownst to Liam. Had I known at the time, I would've throttled anyone who messed with him. But it was probably a good thing he didn't because Liam might've been shy, but he didn't want other people fighting his battles.

"Hey, Nathan, what's up?" Liam queried cheerfully when he picked up. He most definitely did not know. My mom must not have reached him yet or she'd been unable to.

"Have you talked to mom or Abigail?" I asked, just making sure I was right in the fact that he didn't know.

"No, I literally just got done with a training exercise, although I saw I missed some calls from mom. I was just about to call them when you called me. What's wrong? You look down?" Something about my expression must've registered with him because he added, "Is everyone okay?"

"No..." I took a deep breath and told the bad news to my younger brother.
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Four days later...

Abigail

There had been a lot of tears the day that Chris and Grey had died, and the day we found out that I was going to be an aunt and that mom was going to be a grandma. Nathan had called Liam and James, informing them about Chris and Grey, which I think helped mom out because every time she said his name, she would break down crying. I don't think she would've been able to get through the phone call Liam and James without crying, which she would most definitely be trying to avoid because she didn't want to look weak in front of us. My mom was one of those people who would hide her own grief in order to make sure those she loved were okay first. And even though she knew we wouldn't care, that we knew she was just as upset as we were, she still put our emotions and our needs first. My mom was always one of those people who put others first before herself, and while that had always been the case, it had really gotten more intense after my dad's death...

It was close to midnight and thankfully, I didn't have any sessions for the next day, so I was spending my time in the barn with the horses, grooming them and listening to music. A majority of our patients had understood why we canceled, but there was always a handful that didn't.

Jax had been one of the ones that had stayed around, and he was checking in on me daily. It felt weird that the therapist was the one being checked in on by the patient because it should've been the other way around, but I let him. We shared an unfortunate experience with the same person, and that was the death of Grey.

I had started sleeping on the couch because I couldn't bring myself to sleep in my bed because every time I did, every time I woke up, I expected to see Grey lying there. Every time I woke up, I could still smell his cologne even though its scent had long since disappeared off the pillowcase. Mom and Hannah Lee didn't know about this though. I woke up before they did so they wouldn't figure it out. They had enough on their plates; they didn't need my behavior to worry about too.

Rhaegal nudged my shoulder which I took as a sign he wanted to go back into his stall. I'd been out in the barn grooming the horses as a way of self-therapy. It gave me time to think, to collect my thoughts, and to cry in private with only my horses as witnesses.

I brought Drogon out because he was getting antsy in his stall. Part of me worried that he was antsy because there was something in there that shouldn't have been, but after doing a thorough check of the shavings that covered the floor, I found nothing. I figured Drogon just wanted some attention which I was happy to give him.

"What song do you want?" I asked him, flipping through the songs on my iPod. I hit select and turned to look at my horse who seemed wide awake. Narrowing my eyes at him, I said, "Why are you so awake? It's midnight. You're usually mad if I'm in here moving about."

Drogon reached his nose out towards me.

"Do you know I'm upset and that I'm spending my time in here because of it?"

Drogon shook his head up and down. Either it was just a coincidence that he was doing the motions in response to my questions, or he could understand what I was saying. I was inclined to go with the latter.

On a whim, I grabbed his saddle and bridle and prepared him for a ride. I was just going to stay in the arena because while I was adventurous, I wasn't comfortable going on a midnight ride in the middle of the hill country without anyone by my side.

I set up some obstacles to make it interesting for both me and Drogon because it would give me something to concentrate on other than my thoughts about Chris and Grey. I needed a reprieve and this was the perfect way to do so.

"You ready, boy?" I asked, leading him into the arena. I swung myself easily up onto the saddle, lightly tapping his sides to encourage him to go. We started off at a walk, slowly warming up before going into a trot, then into a canter. It felt good to be running again because for liability reasons, the fastest I would ever go with a client would be a trot. The only time I'd ever gone faster than that with a client was when Viserion had gotten spooked by a snake and had darted away. I had no problem catching up with him, and thankfully my client was used to riding horses, so they stayed calm.

Once I was sure Drogon was nice and warmed up, I started leading him to the obstacles, which mainly included a few low jumps and some barrels and poles to go around. I wasn't for barrel racing and pole weaving or rodeos in general (even if they were fun to go to), but they offered a good way to create an obstacle course for when one was bored or wanted to do something other than sleep, such as in my case.

Whenever Drogon went over a jump, it reminded me of just how powerful he truly was. The biggest of the horses in the stable, he was the leader, with only Kodiak challenging him once in a while. Since they were brothers, Drogon would occasionally let him get away with it. In fact, speaking of Kodiak, I could hear him snorting in his stall, as if sensing that his brother was having all the fun. Unable to resist letting the horse have some freedom, I dismounted Drogon and let him run about in the arena (with the door between the arena and barn itself securely locked) while I went and got Kodiak. Hannah Lee's horse could barely contain his excitement as I led him to the arena. Drogon came to a sliding stop in front of us, as if trying to show off. I scratched his nose, letting Kodiak go off the lead rope before getting back in the saddle on Drogon. I set off to complete the obstacle course again, and Kodiak followed beside us. To my surprise, they weren't trying to compete with each other for once, but maybe since it was just them and there were no other horses around to see, they were just being brothers that got along.

And then again maybe I was making my horses too human...

After almost an hour of riding, I gave myself a break, leaning back in the saddle and staring up at the ceiling of the arena; Drogon and Kodiak kept on walking around the place leisurely. I felt my eyelids getting heavy, so I shut my eyes, planning on relaxing for a few moments. I didn't expect to fall asleep as hard and fast the way I did. The only reason I woke up was because I heard Kodiak snort at something. In most cases that wouldn't have woken me up but considering it had basically been right in my ear...

"What is it boy? You two want to go to bed?" I inquired.

Another snort.

I chuckled as I sat up and slid off the saddle. I unlocked the gate between the arena and the barn, opening Kodiak's stall door. He trotted in and I slid the door shut before he changed his mind about wanting to go to bed. I unsaddled Drogon and went to grooming him, trying to hurry so he could get some sleep. I had just scraped the dirt out of his hooves and was stretching my back when Drogon's entire body language changed. I could feel a presence behind me. I thought my music might've been a little on the louder side but for me not to have heard the barn door open? That was scary.

I whirled around to see who was there, lifting the hoof pick up in case I needed to fend off an unwanted intruder.

But when I saw who it was, I froze, unable to believe anything but the idea that my eyes were playing tricks on me. Figuring the only possible explanations for what was occurring was either I was hallucinating because of all the stress I'd been under recently, or I'd been dreaming the last few hours.

Because there was no way my boyfriend could physically be standing in front of me right now. Grey was beat up badly. He had stitches for a three inch gash on his hairline, his face was scraped up in multiple places. His left arm was wrapped up in bandages, and he was on crutches since his left leg was in a cast.

But Grey was here.

He was standing in front of me with those beautiful, emerald green eyes.

He was wearing the cologne that I could still smell after all this time.

He was wearing his utility uniform, the same one he'd worn when I left him at the airport.

He wore that soft, small smile that never failed to make me melt at the sight of it.

"I'd come hug you, but I think you might stab me," Grey said softly, breaking me out of my reverie. I lowered my arm, the hoof pick clattering to the ground. His eyes watched it fall, but quickly travelled back to meet mine. "Abigail?"

At the sound of my name on his lips, I broke out of my shock that had left me frozen in place, running up to him and throwing myself at him, arms wrapping around his neck and legs wrapping around his waist, and burying my face in his shoulder. I heard him grunt, most likely out of pain, but he stayed upright. His good arm wrapped around me and even in his weakened state, he held me up with ease.

I felt the tears rolling down my face and soaking into his uniform as I wrapped my head around the fact that he was here, physically here, alive and safe and home.

"I thought you were dead," I sobbed.

He kissed the side of my head before saying gently, "I had a promise to keep."
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There you go SACarter! Hope you enjoyed it :)