"Soldiers are dreamers; when the guns begin, they think of firelit homes, clean beds, and wives."

~Siegfried Sassoon
__________________________________

"Shots! Shots! Shots!" James cheered as Nathan brought a tray overfilled with an array of alcohol.

"Are you trying to make me forget everything I've ever known?" I joked.

"This is why we're having your bachelor's party three weeks before your wedding, so you have three weeks to recuperate," Nathan replied, handing out the shots. He slid into the booth and lifted one of his glasses up. We joined him as he toasted, "To Grey Stone, one of the bravest men to ever walk the planet! I'm not sure what's more dangerous: marrying my little sister or marrying into our family."

Clinking our glasses, we knocked back their first round of shots.

Jax grabbed another shot, lifted it into the air, and said, "To the cousin who turned into the brother I never had!"

Liam and James made short speeches after, shots in hand, and then I made one. Standing up, I declared, "To the brothers I've lost and the brothers I've gained, and the incredible woman who, in a few weeks, I get to call my wife! Semper Fi!"

"Semper Fi!" the boys echoed, knocking back the last round of shots.

"Shit, Nathan, what was that last one?" Liam asked, his face contorting in disgust.

His brother grinned. "Fuck if I know. I just told the bartender to give me five rounds of five shots of the five strongest drinks he had."

I nodded slowly in acceptance. "So, long story short, we're just getting absolutely fucked tonight?"

"That we are, and it's going to be glorious," Nathan confirmed, clapping me on the shoulder. He pulled out a box from underneath the table and slid it in front of me. "Open up."

I obeyed and pulled out a sash that read "Buy me a shot, I'm tying the knot!" on the front and the words "The Groom" on the back. With it came a sizeable plastic crown. Laughing, I donned both pieces, standing up so my brothers could snap some photos, ones I'd probably come to regret later on.

"Don't worry, we aren't going to let you embarrass yourself all alone," Jax said, pulling out four more sashes. He's said 'I Have the Bail Money" on the front and "The Best Man" on the back. Nathan's, James's, and Liam's sashes all read "The Groomsmen" on the back but had different sayings on the front. Nathan's read "I Have the Alcohol," which he seemed to be taking seriously as he hurried over to the bar to order some more drinks after slipping on his sash. James's read "I Have the Dance Moves," which I highly questioned as I watched him bob his head up and down to the music. Lastly, Liam's said, "I Have the Get-Away Car." Considering he was getting as smashed as the rest of us, I think it was more like he had the Uber app.

Nathan returned with beers for all of us, and not long after that, the first free shots appeared. The waitress smiled and said, "This is from the bartender. On the house. Congrats on getting married!"

"Thank you!" I exclaimed, slightly too enthusiastically.

She scanned the rest of my group. "I promised I'd ask this for some ladies at the bar, but who here is single?"

"Are one of those ladies you?" Jax countered, leaning forward with a smirk. His eyes glittered with enchantment at the dark-haired waitress.

"Why? Do you want me to be?" she countered with equal amounts of interest.

"Possibly, although I don't think I'd get this lucky twenty minutes into being here. What's your name?"

"Genevieve, but you can call me Gen."

"That's a beautiful name, just like-" Jax clicked his tongue and pointed a finger gun at her- "You."

"Jesus Christ, man, is that the smoothest pick-up line you have?" Nathan demanded, staring in horror at the man who sat beside him.

Gen, however, appeared more than flattered. "I'm not supposed to give my number out while I'm working, but if you're still here after nine, I suppose I can give it to you."

Jax turned to us, hopefully. I told the waitress we absolutely would and, she left with a smile on her face and a spring in her step. James whistled, saying, "Damn, Jax. You didn't just bring the bail money. You brought your A-game!"

"I still don't know how the fuck that worked," Nathan said.

Jax shrugged. "It's my puppy dog eyes that do the trick."

"Uh-huh, sure. Listen, I don't know about y'all-" Nathan interrupted, his gaze fixated on something in the corner of the room- "but I want to go for a ride."

I followed his line of sight and found a mechanical bull, unoccupied and just waiting for some drunken idiots to attempt to ride it. Chugging my beer and wiping my mouth with my sleeve, I declared, "Let's do this shit."

With roars of approval, my groomsmen followed me to the mechanical bull. An operator watched us approach, an amused smile on his face. He must've been anticipating a hilarious show. He wasn't the only one. I was not going to be the only one to face the bull. My groomsmen were going to do it too, whether they wanted to or not.

Paying the fee and signing the waiver, I hopped onto the bull. Nathan tossed me a ten-gallon hat, from where I had no idea. Still, I put it on. A few seconds later, the ride shuddered to life. It started out easily enough. My hat did fly off not long after I started, but as the bull twisted in a circle and I could see my groomsmen, I grinned and gave them the thumbs up. They responded in turn before Jax leaned over to the operator and whispered something in his ear. Before I could react, the bull bucked so hard to the side, it flung me off onto the mat.

"I'm good!" I declared, jumping up. "What was my time?"

"Four seconds," James replied, stepping up. "Get your old ass off the mat, and let a young person show you how to do it."

"I'm not old!"

"Then why are you moving so slow?"

"Because I'm seeing double." I shook my head to clear my vision. It worked just in time for me to see James hop cockily onto the bull. I glanced over at the operator and locked eyes with him. He raised a questioning eyebrow at me, and I instinctively knew what he was asking. Giving him a slight nod, I watched and waited.

James declared, "Prepare to watch and weep lo-"

In the blink of an eye, James flew across the room, crashing into the padded wall. He slumped to the floor, dazed for only a moment before he bounded back to the bull and demanded a retry. I gave the operator "the look" again, and he obeyed. After the fifth time, Liam dragged James away, allowing Nathan to ride, who suffered the same defeat as his younger brother. Jax attempted it next. Having noticed what I'd been doing, he managed to stay on for a hot second before the bull violently threw him off. Unlike Jax, Liam wasn't so lucky and maybe stayed on for half a second.

After an hour of maddening attempts and with me finally staying on for the full eight seconds, we retired to the pool tables. A patron saw our shirts and ordered a round of shots for us. More soon followed, courtesy of other patrons. Honestly, the night turned into a blur of laughter, shenanigans, and swearing. For Jax, it also included sneaking off to a booth and making out with the attractive waitress from earlier.

I slumped into a booth in the corner, away from the chaos. It was then that all the alcohol I had hit me, and the room spun like crazy. My hand felt like lead as I reached for a glass of water that one of the waitresses so graciously placed in front of me like she knew I was struggling. Soon to follow was a dish of sliders, and I greedily devoured them one by one. As I did so, I watched the Kennedy brothers and Jax live it up in the bar, all with ear-splitting grins. I felt myself smiling at the sight. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had this much fun with someone other than Abigail and my brothers-in-arms, but it was welcome. I needed to get out there and have fun. I needed to find happiness in places outside my comfort zone. I needed to move on from the tragedies that plagued my life.

"You can't just think about moving on and move on," Chris said, appearing in front of me wearing a sash that said 'I'll Bring the Mayhem.' I blinked, and he chuckled. "You always were a lightweight."

"I've had more shots than I can fucking count. You're a lightweight you... lightweight."

Chris snorted. "I'm so insulted. You wound me."

"Shut up."

"Joking aside, I'm happy for you. It's been a long time coming for both of you."

"Thanks. I wish you were here in person, though."

"I mean, technically, I am."

"Technically, I'm pretty sure you're a hallucination created by my survivor's guilt over being the only one to walk away from the shitstorm we went through."

"Duke's MIA. For all you know, he's alive."

"If he were, I would know by now."

Nathan came stumbling over, his beer slopping over the rim of its glass. "Who the fuck are you talking to?"

"Chris," I replied, stuffing my mouth with another slider.

Nathan choked on his drink and stared at me with sparkling, amused eyes. "Dude. How shit-faced are you?"

"Very. Another round?"

"Of what? Bool, pull, or shots?"

"What?"

"Pool," Nathan sounded out carefully, "bull, or shots?"

"Of all the words, I like he said 'shots' perfectly fine," Chris observed, trying to ruffle his brother's hair only for his hand to go through Nathan's head. Sadness flickered in his eyes.

Ignoring Chris, I said, "Yes."

"That's not an answer!" Nathan exclaimed, slurping his beer.

"I'm acknogeling- anoledging- ackonleging..." I frowned at my inability to say the word before deciding to go a different route entirely. "I'm agreeing your suggestions are good ones. I just don't know which one I want."

"All?"

I thought about it and nodded. "All."

"Let's go! My brothers are catching up to me in the amount they've drunk and are still holdin' on, and I refuse to let them not just outdrink me but do so without blacking out. Come on!"

"Don't die!" Chris shouted after us. I flipped him off behind my back so Nathan wouldn't see before walking to the shots that would do me in.