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Chapter Quote:
"Loving a military man is not hard. The distance is hard, the worry is hard, the sacrifice is hard. But loving him... that's the easiest thing I've ever done."
~Unknown
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Chapter 21: Novis Initiis

Abigail

The week with Giselle and Ella had flown by. I could see why Grey loved that girl so much. I loved her too, and I'd only known her a week. He'd been so happy having her here that it had physically pained me to see him say goodbye to them earlier today. I'd been lucky that I had some sessions to keep my mind preoccupied from thinking about it though.

I'd already taken care of the horses afterwards, but even after dinner and a shower, I couldn't sleep. So at eleven, I snuck downstairs to the stables to groom the horses again.

"So, little sister, why did Grey sleep on the couch last night?" James inquired, stepping into the stable. I didn't bother asking why he was here. I figured he couldn't sleep either and had heard me leave.

"He probably just fell asleep watching the TV," I said, watching my brother grab an apple to feed Drogon.

"Uh huh... So he's done that the last week? Just keeps falling asleep on the couch? Including tonight?"

"Okay, fine. We had an argument."

"And you two haven't solved it yet?"

"I don't know... I never told him to sleep on the couch. He's just done that himself. Every time I go downstairs to see if he wants to come up, he's asleep, and I don't want to wake him."

"What was it about?"

"He wants to go back once he's better. He said he wants justice done for what happened to his brothers, but I'm worried that not only is he getting justice mixed with revenge, but that this time he really won't come back."

"I wish I could tell you not to worry, that he'll definitely come back, because I can't. But if he's this adamant about it, then it sounds like he needs to do this for him."

"You think I don't know that?" I snapped. My brother held his hands up in surrender as my tirade began. "You think I don't know that he needs to go back there to get some peace after what happened to Chris and Duke and his other brothers? You think I wouldn't feel the same in his position? I know he needs to go back, and I know I would feel the same way, but he nearly got killed out there the last time he went, and that was with a squadron he knew! This time he'll be going out with an entirely new one that he has no rapport with, and god only knows what he's going to see this time around which, for all we know, could trigger something in that could cause him to freeze or panic and get himself hurt, or worse, killed. And I'm trying to rationalize in my head that he needs to do this because I know it's the right thing to do, but I'm having a little trouble getting over the fact that he might die out there because I love him and I want to marry him and that won't happen if he's dead! But I can't say any of this to him because it sounds so god damn selfish, and he is one of the most selfless person on the planet. All he does it put others before himself, and I know for the first time he's actually putting himself first for once by wanting to do this, but why does it have to be in a life-threatening situation? Why does it have to be him? Why was he the only one left to go do this? Why is he always the one that has to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders? Why does he have to be the one to fix everything?"

I threw the brush across the stable out of anger as I broke down into tears. I hated crying, but I was frustrated with extremely frazzled emotions. As much as I thought crying didn't help, at least not for me, it was also the only way I could get out my emotions right now that didn't involve hitting something.

I sank down against the door to Drogon's stall, burying my face in my hands as I tried to get my composure back. I heard James sit down next to me, and felt his arm go around my shoulders. He said, "I'm sure he's trying to figure out a way to fix what's going on between the two of you, but you say he's always the one fixing things, why don't you try to fix this? You don't have to accept his decision, he's not going to expect you to, but you at least have to respect his decision."

I sniffed, an image of Grey in a casket flashing across my mind. "I know... god, when did you get so smart?"

"I've always been smart. I just haven't always shown it. I like to be underestimated when going into things. Go talk to him."

"Thank you, James. Before I go, are you sure you're doing okay?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you later. Right now, go fix your relationship with Grey."

"I love you. And thank you."

"I'm your big brother. It's my job to help you."

"It's not, but I'm very glad you did. I'll see you later."

"Love you, Abs. You go. I'll put Drogon away."

Thanking my brother, I headed back to the house where I found Grey watching TV. I was surprised to find him awake though. He seemed just as surprised to see me, too.

"Hey, can we talk? Privately?" I requested.

"Yeah, sure," he said, standing up. Grabbing his crutches, he hobbled after me up the stairs into our room. When we entered it, I shut the door, steeling myself to say what I needed.

"So no good conversation has ever started with the words you just asked me," he remarked grimly.

"About our argument... I'm sorry. I know I overreacted, and it was out of fear. When I suspected that you wanted to go back out there, I thought I had also convinced myself that I was okay with that. But when I heard you tell Ella that you were going to get the guys that did this to Chris and your brothers, it hit me that I wasn't okay with it because all I could see in my head was you in a casket and I couldn't... I couldn't..."

I bowed my head so Grey wouldn't see the tears forming in my eyes, but I guess my stammering had given away what I was going through because he was suddenly in front of me. Finding my strength, I continued on. "I couldn't bear the thought of you not returning back. But you have a duty to your brothers and a duty to yourself, and you need to go back out there. I don't agree with it, I can never fully agree to it, but I do respect it."

"I don't expect you to accept it or agree with it. I could never ask that of you, especially after the last time you had family go back, one of them didn't come back. But knowing you respect my decision means a lot to me. I swear on my life I will get back to you. Alive. In one piece."

"How can you make that promise?"

"I made it last time and came back, didn't I? I mean, yeah, there were a few hiccups along the way-"

"Yeah, just being told you had died..."

"Okay, they were major hiccups, but I still came back. And I'm going to come back. I will always come back to you. I love you, Abigail."

"I love you, too," I replied through my tears. Grey pressed his lips to mine, the kiss slowly transitioning from soft to hungry. My boyfriend's hands roamed all over my body: my hair, my face, my back, my hips. When he got to the backs of my legs, he lifted me up with ease, something I didn't think he was capable of doing in his state.

Boy was I wrong.

"I swear to God if you fall and injure yourself," I laughed, breaking off the kiss to look at him.

"Well by this time I've gotten pretty good at it," he told me with a cheeky grin.

"So if I said we should move this to the bed..."

"A broken leg will not hinder me when you want to do something." Suddenly my back was pressed against the cotton sheets, Grey on top of me. "Now where were we?"
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Grey

"Jax, come on! Before Abigail sees me leaving without her. I want to surprise her!" I insisted, anxiously peering at the stairwell as I could hear my girlfriend finishing getting ready. Any minute she'd be coming down, and I was terrible at lying, so I knew if she came down this instant, I wouldn't be able to come up with a feasible lie that could convince her I wasn't doing anything devious.

"That's why you don't say a word, and let me handle it if she comes down," my cousin responded, throwing on his jacket. "Let's go!"

The two of us rushed out the door into his truck. Or, as much as a guy on crutches and a guy with one leg can rush...

Jax pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the doctor's office where I was going to be getting my cast removed. I was itching to get it off, but then that also meant starting physical therapy, and I'll be honest, I was not looking forward to that. I just wanted to get my cast off and go, but knew that wasn't going to be possible. But at last it would be off.

Abigail texted me on the way to the appointment asking where I was. Jax told me to tell her he wanted to grab breakfast and catch up with his cousin. My girlfriend seemed to buy it. Besides, it wasn't a lie. We did stop for breakfast on the way, even if it was only grabbing something to-go from McDonalds.

Upon arriving at the doctor's, they were surprisingly quick. The longest part was figuring out a physical therapy schedule for me. But in the end, we got it all figured out. Maybe they could tell I was chomping at the bit to get out of there. I had a lot of things to get in order for tonight. That's another reason Jax was here, to help me pick out all the things I needed for Abigail's surprise tonight.

First thing I needed to do was to call Hannah Lee, James, Liam, and Diana to see if they could keep Abigail preoccupied and out of the barn after her sessions ended. Diana agreed to take care of the horses while James and Liam offered to get Abigail out of the house. Hannah Lee offered to help me decorate. Grandma Edna popped into the conversation midway and said she would start dinner for me so that I could get dressed and ready. I certainly wasn't going to say no to that.

The second stop was the store to get everything necessary for the dinner. Since it was still early in the year, it was going to be pretty cool outside, so I was going to be using the arena. The Kennedy's had kept the floor covering used in Hannah Lee and Nathan's wedding, and that's what I was going to be using tonight. They also had a nice table and everything needed to set the table, including the tablecloth and napkin holders. So I just needed to buy what I was going to make for dinner and some flowers and lights.

Jax and I probably spent a good half hour just trying to figure out what flower arrangement to go with before a very helpful lady that worked there came over to help us. She made the process much, much easier.

Picking out the lights went a little faster, but I was trying to decide between the warm white lights and the bright white LED lights. In the end I went with the former after that same lady saw us struggling with the lights as well and said the warm white would be more romantic.

Thankfully, I knew exactly what I needed for dinner, and I'd already gone over with Grandma Edna what I was making. Not only was Beef Wellington one of her favorite dishes, she also knew how to make it which was super impressive.

The third step was to go to a suit shop and buy a nice pair of dress pants and a nice dress shirt. I knew Abigail loved me in my uniform, but I wanted this to be about the two of us and not bring up anything to do with the military, especially considering she'd just lost her brother and her other brother was deployed, and her other two brothers were going to be deployed again soon. I didn't want her thinking about any of that.

The fourth step was the jewelry store. That's where the big surprise was coming from. I just hoped it was ready. After all, this was a big step for the both of us. I just hoped she was as ready to accept it as I was for her to...
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Abigail

My whole family seemed to be preoccupied with something today, but none of them wanted to tell me what was up. Even Hannah Lee wouldn't, and she told me practically everything. After the end of my last session, mom told me she would take care of the horses tonight, and that I should go up and shower. Most days I'd argue with her, but since I'd taken a tumble in some mud earlier and that there was some still in my hair, I decided she was right.

I took a long shower, making sure I got all the dirt and grime out of my hair and off my body. When I stepped out, a cold wave of air hit my bare skin, making me wrap my towel around me tighter. I went into my room and threw on some jeans and a shirt before going back into my bathroom and drying my hair and doing my makeup.

About an hour later, I was done. I headed downstairs, making my way to the kitchen, but was accosted by my brothers on the way there.

"What are you two up to?" I inquired.

"We need your help," Liam said.

"We want to get a jump on mom's Mother's Day present since we won't be here for it. But it's big, and we need your eye for design to help," James added.

"Okay, let me go grab my coat and purse from the kitchen," I told them, trying to move past them. James held up my coat and purse, saying, "You mean these? Already got you covered. Now let's go!"

The two of them practically dragged me out through the front door to the truck on the driveway. I swear to god they pushed me into that thing, shut the door, got in themselves, and tore out of the driveway faster than I could blink.

"What's so imperative about this that you're willing to put our lives on the line with your driving?" I queried, gripping the door handle for dear life.

"We need to get to the jewelry store before it closes!" Liam informed, turning onto the highway.

"Where exactly are we going?"

"Pandora. Well, that's the first stop. Second stop is Walmart," James replied. "We want to get her a bracelet with a charm that represents each of us, including Jax and Grey. So we were thinking charms that represent each branch of the military, and then special charms to represent each one of us."

"That's actually really thoughtful. Okay, I get it. But doesn't Pandora close at like... nine? Because we have two hours."

"Yes, but it might be busy, and we might take a while. We want to have ample time."

"Fine, fine. What's the Walmart stop for?"

"Because we want ice cream and alcohol."

"Did you two go through some form of breakup with girls that I didn't know about?" I joked.

"That's only if we get Ben and Jerry's, but we're not. We're getting the big gallons."

"Then what are we celebrating?"

"Why do we need a celebration to have gallons of ice cream?" Liam countered.

"We don't. But that's the only time we get the gallons," I pointed out.

"Things can change. Besides, I missed having it while on tour. It wasn't that easy to come by."

"Agreed," James said just as Liam pulled into a parking spot in front of Pandora. The three of us got out of the truck and walked in. Immediately a sales person came over to see if we needed help with anything. I let Liam and James take over since this was their present. I browsed around looking for a charm that I thought was a good representation of my mom or of our relationship.

"Which one are you thinking of getting?" James queried from behind me.

"I don't know."

"You don't have to decide now. Plus mom needs us to stop by the store on the way home so it looks like we're not just making the stop for ice cream." Liam made his way over to us, a Pandora bag in hand. The three of us walked back out to the car and went to Walmart.

"Just stay in the car Abs. We'll be super quick," Liam said.

"Okay, why is everyone acting so weird today? Honestly, it's freaking me out."

"We're always weird," James joked. My brothers hopped out of the truck and practically ran inside. I texted Grey saying, "Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are acting strangely. I mean they usually do but they're being extra weird today."

Grey responded by laughing and agreeing with me, then asking when I'd be home. I ended up texting him until my brothers got back. Finally, we were on our way back home which was good because I was starving. My stomach made a growling sound that made Liam and James briefly turn around to stare at me with raised eyebrows.

Upon arriving at our house, I noticed the lights in the arena were on, but figuring Hannah Lee or someone was in there, I ignored it, helping my brothers bring the groceries into the house. When we entered the kitchen, my nose was assaulted with the most delicious smell, even though I couldn't place what it was.

Grandma Edna and mom stood at the stove; Hannah Lee was hurriedly putting something in the fridge, hiding it from my view. Jax sat at the bar on his computer.

"It smells delicious in here. What are you making?" I asked, setting down the bags on the counter.

"You'll see," Grandma Edna claimed with a sly smile.

"Where's Grey?"

"I think he's upstairs. Would you mind going to ask him what he wants to drink?" Mom requested. I went upstairs to my room. My boyfriend wasn't there, but there was a massive box on the bed. Opening it, I found a stunning, black lace dress with a pair of brand new stilettos. My mouth fell ajar a little at the sight of it because looking at the name of the brands, these items were anything but cheap. As I ogled the sight of them, I heard Hannah Lee say from the doorway, "Put it on."

"Who got this for me?"

Hannah Lee grinned. "Just put it on and go out to the arena."

Knowing my sister was going to remain steadfast in her secrecy of what was happening, I decided to just listen to her. I quickly put on the new outfit, admiring the way it looked on me, the dress hugging every curve on my body, the shoes giving the illusion of long, lean legs.

"Where's your jewelry?" Hannah Lee asked.

"It didn't come with any."

"What?!" My sister rushed over, digging through the tissue paper in the box. When her search yielded nothing, she dropped to her knees, looking under the bed. "Aha!"

Hannah Lee stood back up, a triumphant smile on her face as she held up a gorgeous pair of ruby earrings and ruby necklace.

"How much did these cost?" I asked, my mouth agape as I took them from her. The gems caught the light from ceiling, sparkling brilliantly. There was no mistaking that these were genuine.

"I don't know, and I don't care. Hurry up and put them on!" Hannah Lee insisted, taking the mission into her own hands and putting my necklace on for me while I put in my earrings.

"How do I look?" I asked, glancing down at my ensemble.

"Absolutely beautiful. The boys aren't going to know what hit them!" Grinning, my sister helped me down the stairs in my heels, making sure I didn't trip and stumble. Entering the kitchen, Liam and James both whistled.

"I know I'm your big brother, and I should probably make some jerk comment, but all that's coming to mind right now is you look beautiful," James said.

"You're going to kill Grey when he sees you," Liam added.

"Oh honey, you look stunning!" Mom exclaimed.

"Thank you. Speaking of Grey, where is he? And why am I the only one dressed up here?"

"Wow, you're oblivious. It's a date. Just the two of you," James said.

"Where exactly are we going?"

"Arena. Go. Now," Liam ordered.

"All right, all right. I'm going." Rather than listening to my brothers get on my case about my obliviousness, I headed towards the barn. The night was cool, but warmer than usual. I just hoped the barn was warm. Why I was dressed up in an outfit suited for an elegant, five-star restaurant when I was just going to the barn was beyond me, but I chose to trust my family. They wouldn't lead me astray with something like this.

Upon arriving at the barn, I found Luke sitting patiently at the entrance, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. I knelt down and kissed him on his nose. "Hey buddy. Do you know what's going on?"

A sharp whistle sounded from inside the barn. Luke instantly trotted inside with me on his heels. I entered the arena to find it transformed into a romantic dinner setup. The floor that had been used in Nathan and Hannah Lee's wedding was once again being used. In the middle was a table for two, set underneath a wooden canopy decorated with peonies and white, Stargazer lilies, my favorite flower. Candles in dainty glass containers were strung around the edges of the canopy.

Underneath it all sat Grey in a sharp, black suit. He was in the chair facing me, a smile gracing his face.

"What is all this?" I asked, stepping underneath the canopy.

"This," he said, standing up, "is a date."

My mouth fell open at the sight of him standing without his crutches. "Your cast is gone!"

"I wanted to surprise you. It's why I left in such a hurry this morning," he explained. "I still have to go through some physical therapy, but the doctor said I've already made a really good recovery, so it shouldn't take too long for me to be back in top shape."

I threw my arms around his neck, so incredibly happy for him because I knew he'd been getting antsy having the cast on for so long.

"Well do you have any other surprises for me?" I laughed, pulling back to look at him. "First dinner, then the cast off... what else do you have in store for me?"

Grey smirked. "Why don't we take a seat and find out?"

My boyfriend pulled out my chair for me, and I sat down. For the next hour and a half, we feasted on a delicious meal cooked by mom and Grandma Edna. Hannah Lee and Jax brought it out to us. I figured mom didn't trust Liam and James not to drop it or taste it on their way over to us.

Grey and I talked endlessly about things, from the dogs to the horses to childhood stories to items on our bucket lists. I learned that he had always wanted to travel Switzerland because his family had emigrated from there. I learned that he had broken ten bones in his body, not including his most recent incident. He had broken his right leg, his left and his right arm (different times), his left foot, had broken three ribs from flipping over the handle bars of his bike; he had also broken his left thumb, left index finger, and his right big toe. Half the time, Jax had been present during these accidents, oftentimes getting injured in the process too.

All of these injuries had a funny story behind them, and Grey had reduced me down to tears from laughing so hard. I hadn't heard him talk this much since before he deployed. It was as if he was a whole new man tonight. He was lighter, funnier, happier.

I remarked, "I am happy to say I've never broken a bone in my life. How I've managed to avoid doing that, I'll never know considering I'm such a klutz, but I'm grateful. Honestly though, ten bones? That's crazy!"

"What can I say? I was an accident-prone child. Thankfully I grew out of that. For the most part."

"I can't thank you enough for tonight, by the way. It's been absolutely amazing."

"You're my girlfriend, and I wanted to do something special for you now that I have full mobility. I also wanted to talk to you about something."

"What's on your mind, sweetie?"

Grey stared at me with a soft expression on his face. "I haven't been the luckiest of people in the world. I never had a dad, my mom passed away right after I graduated from school... and I put my job first. I put everything else above my own happiness because I realized I wasn't really happy unless I was working and with my brothers. To me, work equaled happiness. But then I met you. You were my brother's little sister, and you were off limits. And why would you ever date a guy like me? A guy with no family and married to his job? Then that night of the wedding when you confirmed you liked me, I couldn't wrap my head around it. Part of that might have been the alcohol, but still... I couldn't fathom you were actually saying you liked me back. I also couldn't understand why you thought I didn't like you in the same way. You were perfect to me then, and you still are. I love all your little quirks and habits, like when you play with your hair when you're focusing on something on your computer, or when you fiddle with your necklace when reading your book at night, or belt out to Rascal Flatts while grooming the horses when you think no one is listening."

"Oh god, did I break your eardrums?" I asked, burying my face in my hands and peeking at him through my fingers, thoroughly embarrassed.

He chuckled. "No. I think you are pretty good actually..."

"Can I ask what made you think of all this?" I inquired softly, lowering my hands.

"Because I was thinking about all of this after we had our conversation about me going back, and I realized something..."

"What did you realize?"

Grey hesitated for a moment, staring at his hands, before looking up at me, green eyes bright with excitement. "I realized that I wanted to be married to something other than my job."
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Long chapter because I didn't know when to stop. Hope you enjoyed!