Chapter Quote:
"A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty."
~Unknown
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Chapter 23: Infans

Abigail

Prepping for the wedding had been absolute and utter havoc. I didn't remember Hannah Lee's wedding being this chaotic to plan, but I guess since Grey and I were trying to do it within the next two months before he deployed again, it was ten times worse.

Grey had recovered from his injuries spectacularly well, and his rehab had progressed smoothly. He even finished ahead of schedule. Grey would be completely better by the time our wedding rolled around. Our week-long honeymoon to Italy would happen right after, he'd have three more weeks at home, and then he'd be deployed. I tried not to think about him leaving too much because when I did, the worry would become overwhelming, almost incapacitating, as the image of him in a coffin stayed burned into my mind. It would take a lot for one of my family members to break me out of it. Everyone attributed this spacing out to wedding stress... everyone but Grey and Hannah. They knew immediately what was wrong and always found some way to distract me. Hannah Lee would do so by having me help her prepare for her baby's arrival. Thinking about my nephew always made me happy and would turn away my negative thoughts.

For Grey, he would take me somewhere private, ask what had me think of him leaving, would let me vent, and when I finally had let out everything going on inside my head, he would cup my face and kiss me. Sometimes, the kiss would be soft and sweet. Other times, the kiss would be fiery and passionate and lead to so much more. But the distraction was welcome, and his distractions worked.

"Abigail, what color do you want our bridesmaid dresses to be?" Hannah Lee queried, walking into the kitchen while she flipped through a bridal magazine. "Giselle is booking her tickets as we speak. Ella wants to wear her flower girl dress constantly. It's to the point Giselle has had to pack it away and put it on a shelf Ella can't reach."

I laughed. "I'm starting to think she's more excited about my wedding than I am."

"It definitely rivals yours. Okay, bridesmaid dresses. What color?"

"Blue. Dark blue. I want silver as the accent color."

"Perfect. Okay, so we will be trying our dresses next week. Giselle will be here Monday, so she'll be here in time for that. Let's see... cake tasting is this Saturday, your dress fitting is next Wednesday, flowers are next Thursday, and we've already chosen the venue as here in the arena, so we're set for that. I- whoa."

"Hannah?" I asked worriedly. My sister had bent over, gripping the back of the couch so hard, her knuckles were white.

"Sorry, it was a contraction. I haven't had any recently. That was a big one."

"You're due tomorrow, you know. Do you want to go to the doctor's to make sure you're not going into early labor?"

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm going to run to the bathroom though. I need to pee like a rushin' racehorse." I watched Hannah Lee waddle away. I worried about her now that she was about to give birth. I wanted her to take it easy, but she was adamant in helping me with everything. Sometimes I wondered if helping with the wedding took her mind off of her pregnancy. I knew she was scared. This would be her first child, and with Nathan going to be away on tour for a lot of that time, a majority of the child-rearing rested on Hannah Lee. Of course, she had me, mom, Edna, Jax, and Grey to help; but mom and I had our jobs which would preoccupy a lot of our time, Grey was planning on deploying again, Jax didn't live here full-time, and Grandma Edna was nearly a hundred. As much as we knew she'd want to help as much as she possibly could, we also wanted her to take care of herself. Despite seeming invincible, we knew Grandma Edna couldn't live forever...

"Hey, beautiful," Grey greeted, breaking me out of my thoughts. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, kissing me on my cheek. "What are you thinking about?"

"My future nephew," I said. "I can't believe I'm going to be an aunt. It's crazy! How are you doing?"

"Good. Jax and I just went and got out tuxes. They're all ready to go. I'm trusting Nathan when he says his tux will be ready to go for the event."

"Thank you for asking him to be a groomsman. I know it means a lot to him."

"I'm guessing you've gotten the logistics of him being my groomsman and the person giving you away figured out?"

"I do. Jax is going to escort Hannah Lee and Giselle down the aisle simultaneously, and Nathan will escort me. Liam and James are going to escort Ella down as flower girl."

"Speaking of Hannah Lee, how's she doing?"

"She's nervous. She has a tendency to throw herself into her work when something's on her mind. Since she hasn't been able to do her therapy sessions, she's been working day and night on planning my wedding. I want her to take care of herself, but when she gets like this, there's no convincing her to stop. Believe me, I've tried."

"Funny. You do the same thing."

"I do?"

"Yeah. It's usually how I know something is bothering you. That, or you're unusually quiet. Like you're being today."

"It's just stressing over the wedding. There's so much to do before it and-"

"Hey, if it's too much, we can just elope if you want. Maybe Colorado in the middle of the mountains. Or in Hawaii next to the ocean."

"My mom would kill me if her only daughter eloped. She's been dreaming of this day for years, even if she won't admit it. Besides, I do actually want a wedding. I just didn't realize how stressful planning my own would be."

"Um, guys," Hannah Lee interrupted, coming into the room. Her eyes were wide with silent panic as she stared at us.

"Hannah?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"My water just broke!" She blurted out.

"Mom!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. She came hurrying down the stairs with Grandma Edna a few paces behind her.

"What's wrong?" Mom demanded.

"Hannah Lee's water broke. We need to get her to the hospital," I explained.

Mom immediately went into business-mode, ordering us around. "Grey, help Hannah Lee to the car. I'll go grab her baby bag. Abigail, go get your brothers. Have them take the truck and meet us at the hospital. Grandma Edna, call Nathan and let him know his wife is going into labor."

We all dispersed to follow the direction given to us. I bolted out to the barn, running as fast as my legs would carry me. Liam and James were doing repairs in the stable. They must've heard my feet pounding on the ground because they were already standing up when I skidded to a stop in front of them. Liam placed steadying hands on my shoulders as I explained to them in a breathless rush what was happening. Dropping their tools, my brothers ran towards the house with me yelling after them to wait up. My legs, while long, couldn't keep me going fast enough to keep up with them.

Upon arriving at the garage, James, Liam, and Grey got in the truck while mom, Grandma Edna, and I hopped into mom's car. Hannah Lee laced her fingers through mine, searching for some kind of comfort as the contractions started to occur more frequently.

I didn't mind holding her hand, and it eased my own nerves with my mom's driving. I've never seen my mom drive so fast before. I'm pretty sure she left skid-marks pulling into the parking space at the hospital. James and Liam were already at our car, escorting Hannah Lee inside. Grey slipped his hand in mine. His touch made me relax. I hadn't even noticed how tense I was.

Nurses came over to us, placing Hannah Lee in a wheelchair before rolling her away. They directed us to stay put in the waiting room until told otherwise. Reluctantly, we did so. We took seats near the door. Mom shook her knee up and down. Grandma Edna stared at the entryway to the room we were in, ready to get up at a moment's notice. Liam and James were flipping through a pregnancy magazine, making horrified faces as they read about what happened to a woman and her body when she was pregnant. I gripped Grey's hand, biting my lower lip in anticipation.

"Has she had the baby yet?" Jax inquired, running into the waiting room.

"Jax!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing here? And no, she hasn't."

"Grey texted me. I wanted to be here for y'all."

I smiled. "Thank you. Come on, sit with us. It'll be a while."

The moment Jax sat down, however, a doctor came in, asking, "Hannah Lee's family?"

We all stood up. He seemed taken aback by how many of us were there, but continued, "She's definitely going into labor. She's requesting the girls be with her."

Mom, Grandma Edna, and I nodded, urging the doctor to lead the way. As we walked to Hannah Lee's room, I could feel the boys staring at us.
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Hannah Lee

At 4:25 p.m. on May the third, I became a mother.

I held the six pounds and nine ounces, bundle of joy in my arms, unable to believe I had finally given birth. The baby I'd been carrying in my stomach for nine months was truly here. He stared at me, cooing and waving his arms. For having been just born, he was extremely active. Immediately, I knew he took on after his father. I only hoped he wouldn't be as much of a rebel as his dad in school.

"He's beautiful," Diana remarked softly. She and Grandma Edna sat on my left. Grey and Abigail were on my right. Jax, Liam, and James stood at the foot of the bed. "What's his name?"

"Christopher Julian Kennedy," I replied. "Christopher after his brave, brave uncle. Julian after his heroic great-great-grandfather. I think I'm going to nickname him CJ. Have any of you told Nathan?"

"I texted him you had the baby after I couldn't get through to him via call. He must be busy," James answered.

"You're going to meet daddy soon," I whispered to CJ. "He's going to be so happy to see you! You're going to be just like him, I can already tell."

"You should probably start preparing for the teacher meetings and detentions then," Diana joked.

"Hannah Lee?" I froze at the sound of my name upon the lips of my husband. A man who wasn't supposed to be home for another week. But when I looked at the doorway, I saw him standing there in shock, still dressed in uniform, backpack still on his shoulders, like he'd just stepped off the plane. His green eyes glittered with unshed tears.

Diana and Grandma Edna moved aside, allowing him to shuffle next to me. His hand gingerly stroked CJ's head as he grinned down upon his son. This was one of the few moments Nathan had been rendered speechless. He turned to me, an expression filled with love and joy and enthrallment written upon his face.

"You're going to be a wonderful mother," he said. Then he kissed me long and slow. I couldn't believe he was here, and seemingly having read my mind, he added, "The mission finished early. I got to come home sooner. I had really good timing. I just wish I had been here for the actual-"

"You're here now, and that's what matters," I interrupted.

"Welcome to the world, Christopher Julian."

"You knew his name?" Liam queried.

"We decided on it a while ago."

"Would any of you like to hold him?" I offered. Nathan volunteered first, cradling his son in his arms. My husband couldn't stop smiling. Finally, he handed CJ to Grandma Edna. For one of the few times in my life, I witnessed my grandmother say only nice things. Nothing snarky, nothing sassy, nothing rude, just kind. She would be spoiling my son whenever she got the chance. That was obvious. Diana was much the same when she held him.

Liam, James, and Jax all froze when they held CJ. Here were these three men who put their lives out on the line, going headfirst into life-threatening situations, and holding a newborn is what terrified them. Maybe it was the morphine, maybe it wasn't, but I laughed harder than I should have at the thought. Grey was next, and Abigail was last. She gently rocked her nephew to the point he fell asleep. My sister acted like a natural with him, and I was so grateful I had her in my corner to help me raise CJ.

Grey watched his fiancée with a soft smile on his lips. Abigail had no idea he watched her every move. I could see in his eyes that he was thinking the same thing as me: she would be an amazing mother.

Finally, my son was back in my own arms. The exhaustion of today started to catch up to me, and my eyelids weighed heavily. I have no memory of falling asleep, but I remember I fell asleep smiling, excited for the future ahead of me.