A/N: I'm back!!! JK, no I'm really not. Just found this draft that I never published, and I decided to finally expose it to the world. It's kinda late, isn't it? To whoever is reading this, thanks. Sorry for the longggg wait. This story might end up having a conclusion, so get ready for possibly reading some upcoming chapters soon. Bye for now.

All the nearby villagers ran away from Hiccup as quickly as they could. A few dared to glance back at him only for a moment before they caught Hiccup's scornful look and quickly departed from the scene. The plain grass was slowly losing its color as it hadn't rained in nearly two weeks and the brisk air was hissing. At Hiccup's back was a hill upon which stood a house. The chief's house. Hiccup's house. He could easily retreat to his lonely sanctuary as he had planned to do just minutes before. He felt like iron and his heart like stone. 

A few feet in front of him in the plain open field stood a brave, blonde viking girl. She looked as stubborn and as powerful as ever. Astrid. Realizing his earlier actions, regret and guilt seeped into Hiccup's heart. What had he just done? He must've scared his villagers really bad. And the poor sheppard. Hiccup never wanted to be this kind of leader. A leader of fear. But, alas, here he was.

Hiccup had his eyes fixed on Astrid's. His muscles tensed with a rhythmic pulse of electricity. Shame pumped through his veins like hot poison. He didn't know how he would react when seeing her. He didn't know if would be able to control himself against the profound depth of his emotions. He didn't know if he would lash out in anger, or cry in sadness. But as he looked into Astrid's ocean eyes, unblinking as if challenging him, his rage dispelled. He didn't want to play this game with her. He turned away from Astrid and walked up the hill.

"I know you saw me with Ryder earlier today," she confessed. There was something in her voice. It sounded like a hint of regret. Maybe it was regret for what she did with Ryder in the first place. Or maybe regret that Hiccup had caught her. He chose not to ask.

Hiccup stopped and turned back to her. Their eyes locked. Only then did he realize that Astrid's eyes were bloodshot. How hadn't he noticed that before? There were tired rings around her eyes and veins pigmenting blue on her skin. Her hair was tangled and skin clammy and pale. But she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on. How those ocean eyes could still transcend him into another universe. How he wished to find comfort in her eyes. How he wished to be anywhere but here, to have any talk but this one, to be angry at anyone but her. How he wished to touch her cheek and play with her hair as she does with his. Her delicate hands had crocheted the little braids that he still wears today. Would she ever hold him again? Would she ever laugh with him again? Would she ever kiss him again? Hiccup painfully pushed those thoughts away before they could ruin him. 

"Is that what you came here to say?" Hiccup retorted. He gave his best attempt to keep his tone calm and collected. He failed at it.

Astrid walked up towards Hiccup until she was an arm's length away. "No," she replied. "I came here to talk to you about everything that's happened these past few days. We both did things that we shouldn't have."

"Well, I don't have time to talk. You clearly chose to talk to Ryder instead of talking to me. All night and all morning."

Despite the anger in his tone and all his attempts to push people away, Hiccup actually wanted comfort. He desperately tried to search for any emotion he could find from Astrid's expression--for a glimpse of hope that they could overcome this obstacle in their relationship. Maybe, we can fix this, he wishful thoughts allowed. Maybe, we aren't  broken after all. 

But her eyes were just cold. Her expression was unreadable. It was just like Astrid--the warrior, the solider--to be disturbingly good at masking her true feelings. It was as if Hiccup was looking at a statue. Her eyes looked like they didn't belong to a human, capable of having feelings. Her eyes could've been painted onto her face, for all he'd known.

"Ryder was there for me when no one else was. Not even you" She spoke with perfect civility, like a diplomat. It irritated Hiccup that he was so distraught while Astrid was able to stay so composed. "Yes, things got out of hand and they went where I didn't want them to, but what about you? What about who you were with last night?"

Hiccup breathed out hot air. "Oh, so you're saying that it's my fault?" 

There was a fire in his eyes, a rage he didn't know he had inside of him. But as images of Ryder and Astrid entered his mind, they ignited a sort of jealous rage that he hated to admit he had. Hiccup and Astrid once had trust in their relationship, great communication as well. And all that was ruined in one night. 

"I'm saying that we're both at fault, Hiccup. We've both been acting stupid and petty. So don't act so self-righteous, thinking that you're the only who's hurting. And don't cast an innocent villager to the dungeon because of what's happened between you and I. Something I really liked about you, even admired, was how you could be so level-headed. What happened to you, Hiccup?"

"What happened to me? Are you serious? I'm hurt, Astrid. My girlfriend was-- You were--"

"Kissing someone else. I know and I'm sorry," Astrid interrupted. It was a good thing, too, that she said it instead of him--before he had to utter those words--because Hiccup wouldn't have been able to do it. He would have stuttered and his lips would have quivered and his heart would have poured out a little more blood. Every raw and painful wound he was burying deep down would have resurfaced and been uncovered. She, however, said it strongly. It was blunt, upfront. Remorseful, too. It comforted a small part of Hiccup to know that, if anything else, she felt regret. 

"But you hurt me too," Astrid continued. "You also kissed someone else." Her voice cracked, and she bit her bottom lip, which was what she always did to hold back tears. 

Seeing her like this was torture for Hiccup. He wanted to get closer to her, hold her, tell her he was sorry and that he's make it up to her for the rest of his life. But he didn't do any of those things. His feet stayed planted firmly on the ground. 

Hiccup's heart still shattered in a million pieces. How, even in a frenzy of rage, just hearing her in pain could take all his anger away. How he desperately wanted things to go back to how they were before. Chills danced down his body. This a literal nightmare, he thought. "I'm sorry, too. Astrid, I--"

"I trusted you, Hiccup. I always thought of you as someone who would never hurt me, but now all I could think about is you... with her."  Tears glistened in her eyes. Astrid wiped them away before they could fall. 

"You hurt me too. You ran away and spent all this time with a new dragon rider that we don't even know. What did you expect me to think?"

"I expected you to trust me," Astrid replied.

"How could I? He kissed you. Why did you let him kiss you? Or did you kiss him?" Hiccup asked. His tone balanced on a fine line between a question and plea. He was desperate. He wanted to know but, at the same time, he didn't. If he didn't know, maybe, he could trick his brain into forgetting everything that's happened. That Ryder never came to Berk. And he never took Astrid away with him. And Hiccup never asked out Heather. And Heather never kissed him. And Astrid never saw them. And Ryder never kissed Astrid. And Hiccup never had his heart shatter into a million pieces.

"Ryder kissed me. And I don't know why I let him kiss me. I was heartbroken. I wanted to tell you about it right after it happened. It was a mistake."

"Is that supposed to make it better?" Hiccup asked. 

"No, but don't act so hypocritical, Hiccup. Don't forget that you kissed Heather. Not only that, you didn't tell me about it. I waited all night for you to come see me, or at least give me your side of the story. But, nothing. At least I had the guts and the decency to come talk to you after. Why was Heather even at your house last night? Has--" Astrid hesitated and took a deep breath before asking, "Has this thing with you and Heather been going on for a while?" Her voice was almost as soft as a whisper.

"No! How could you think that?" Hiccup fumed.

"Then why?" she asked.

"Because I thought you would leave me for Ryder!" There was a long pause before Hiccup spoke again. "From the moment Ryder came to Berk, I knew you were into him. And he definitely likes you. I had no competition with him. I thought that if you'd see me with Heather, then you'd remember your feelings for me. And that you'd come back to me."

Astrid's eyes went wide. Her tears were now dry. Her scornful look told Hiccup that what he had just said was very much wrong.

"Well, if you thought that by kissing Heather to try to make me jealous would make me realize my feelings for you, then you were wrong," she hissed. "I have always been certain about my feelings for you. I did choose you. All day, when I was with Ryder, I was thinking, 'I can't wait to tell Hiccup the new dragon secrets Ryder showed me today'. After my day with Ryder, I couldn't wait to see you." 

Despite himself, Hiccup stepped forward to touch Astrid's face. She, however, took a step back. "But everything's changed now. I don't know how I feel or how I should feel about you. You hurt me, and it seems to me like you did it on purpose. Maybe you didn't think it would go this far but that was a risk you were willing to take." Then, Astrid said the words that would haunt Hiccup for a long time. "I can't trust you anymore."  

There was nothing more for Astrid to say. It was now her time to walk away from Hiccup. But in that moment, Hiccup realized that he really, truly couldn't let Astrid go. He tried to grab her hand, but she deflected really easily. 

"No, Hiccup. You could've talked to me. You should've talked to me because I would've told you then that I loved you and you had nothing to worry about. But it's too late now. You've screwed it up, and then I also made it worse. I don't know if this is something that we can ever fix."

With those last words, Astrid walked away, leaving Hiccup alone on that hill. The day was still young and lively, but Hiccup had never felt more alone.