XXIX.                                          Heartbreak Weather

trigger warning: mentions of eating disorder, throwing up, and purging

      When the rumor of what happened between Odessa and Joey first went around the school, Odessa was extremely depressed. She didn't come out of her room. She didn't eat. She didn't sleep. She was hurting herself by not taking care of herself. When it came time for her to finally eat something, she couldn't keep it down. The first time she threw up, it was the first time she actually felt something after being numb for so long. She felt like she deserved the pain. She didn't deserve to be happy. She was the school slut. The girl who's dad left her. She was nothing.

She never told anyone, especially not her mother, that she was purging. It only happened when Thalia wasn't around. She did it in the bathroom at school when nobody was in there. It's not like she wanted to have an earring disorder. She was just extremely fucked up and the people at school and the voice in her head didn't make it any better. She thought it would make her feel better but it only made her feel worse. It got to the point where she had to be hospitalized.

Thalia felt like she failed as a mother. Her friends treated her like glass. She struggled to get back into her eating habits for a long time. But she managed to get there. Everything was okay. Up until now and now, it was all happening again.

Odessa felt weak. She stood in the dojo with her hands behind her back, swaying side to side uncontrollably.

"We are all strong as our weakest links." Said Kreese. "When we remove these links, this is what's left." He pointed to the remainder of the class.

Hailey stared at her best friend with pure worry. Odessa looked terrible and like she could pass out at any point in time. She knew how much she was trifling and she didn't want to push her. But she was so worried.

"We are one unit with one united purpose."

The chime of the door went off and everyone looked over their shoulders. Odessa's eyes grew wide at the sight of Tory. "Hell no." Hailey uttered only loud enough for her to hear.

"Nichols, welcome back." Irredentist greeted the girl.

Tory kicked off hers shoes and walked on the mat. Odessa felt angry just being in the same room as her but she didn't have the physical strength to feel anything other than exhaustion.

Robby had been caught by the police. He was in juvie. Odessa's heart dropped to her stomach. She held onto her mom's hand tightly. "What are they going to do to him?" She stuttered.

"I don't know, honey." Thalia softly said. "Daniel made a deal with his lawyer saying he'll get a lighter sentence if he turns himself in. But he's going to be in there for a while, Dess."

Odessa's face paled beyond extreme. She couldn't hold back the nausea. She jumped from the couch and ran into the bathroom.

"Odessa?" Thalia said and quickly followed her. She saw her hunched over the toilet, vomiting. She held her hair back. "Baby girl, you look terrible."

"God, I wish everyone would stop saying that." Odessa cried.

Thalia covered her mouth and her eyes watered. "Please don't tell me it's happening again, Dessa?" She she pleaded.

The teenage girl sobbed uncontrollably. Failure was all she felt. She tried so hard to not crumble again but she didn't feel in control of her own life anymore. She was only sixteen years old. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Thalia dropped to the floor and hugged her daughter tightly to her. Odessa's cries grew louder and they only made her feel sicker.

Oliver texted in the group chat for everyone to get together. Odessa was happy. It felt so long since they all spent time together. She walked into the restaurant and saw Oliver already there at a table. He saw her and smiled. "Hey, beautiful." He greeted her.

She kissed his head and sat beside him. They immediately hugged. "I'm sorry we haven't hung out. I've been really stressed."

He waved it off. "Ahh, don't worry about it. Demetri's been keeping me company, y'know, since Miyagi-Do shut down. We've been watching way too much Star Wars. I think he's turning me into a nerd," Oliver said and laughed at the end.

She giggled. "How is Demetri, anyway?"

"Oh, he's great. He told me to tell you he missed you. He's been coming over to my house, a lot." He smiled a little at the last part.

Hailey and Grayson walked in hand and hand. "Hello, sexies." She greeted and they sat at the table across from them.

"You know, if there was a poster couple for Vogue, you two would definitely be on the cover," Oliver commented and held his hands up like a camera frame.

Hailey flipped her hair and Grayson leaned down kissed her cheek. They smiled. "So, how's everyone been doing?" Grayson asked.

"I think i'm falling in love." Oliver blurted out.

All their eyes went wide at him. Odessa choked on air. "I'm sorry, what?" She questioned after a minute.

"I think i'm falling in love with Demetri."

The three looked extremely shocked. "H-How does Demetri feel?" Hailey stuttered.

"I don't know. I haven't told him. He's definitely bicurious but I don't think he's ever dated a boy before. I'm kind of freaking out, no lie." Oliver explained even though he looked calm as ever on the outside.

Odessa smiled with her teeth. "Why didn't you say anything when I asked?" She asked and lightly hit his arm.

He shrugged. "I wanted to wait till we were all together. We always share news together."

"Hell yeah, man. Go for it. Demetri's great." Grayson encouraged and reached over the table to high five him.

Hailey agreed. "He is. Nerdy and a bit of a know-it-all, but great." She said with a smile.

Oliver grinned at his friend's encouragement. "Are we gonna order or what?" Grayson asked while drumming his hands on the table.

While the others agreed, Odessa shook her head. " no, I ate before I came." She put on a smile.

Hailey narrowed her eyes but Odessa avoided making eye contact.

When the table's orders arrived at the table, Odessa tried holding in her gag at the smells. It made her stomach churn. As she saw them picking at their plates, she felt bile in her throat. "I'm going to run to the bathroom." She announced and scooted out of her chair.

Hailey watched her best friend walk rather fast to the bathroom. "Have you guys noticed she's looking worse?" She asked the two boys.

"Miguel just woke up, Hails. People recover faster than others." Oliver said and took a big bite from his burger.

"Yeah, she's just really stressed out. She'd tell us if something was wrong." Grayson added in.

The boys continued to eat but Hailey kept staring at the hallway that lead to the bathrooms. Something wasn't right. She could feel it. She excused herself from the table and walked to the girl's bathroom. She opened the door slowly to not scare her and checked under the stalls looking for a pair of white sneakers. When she heard the sound of retching coming from the last stall, Hailey closed her eyes and leaned her head on the door. "Dess?"

Odessa began to cry. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, babe. Just unlock to the door for me?"

Sbe reached behind her and shakily undid the lock,  letting Hailey walk into the bathroom stall. She crouched down to her height.  "See how much I love you?  I'm crouching on this nasty ass floor for you."

"How did you know?" Odessa asked and wiped her tears.

"I remember the first time it happened, Dess. You've been looking sick for weeks. You almost collapsed at the dojo. I could feel that something was wrong but I was scared to ask you." Hailey smoothed out her blonde hair. "We need to get you help, baby girl. You're going to hurt yourself again if you keep doing this."

Odessa shook her head. "No, no, please don't tell anyone. I'm trying to stop but it's not easy. I can't change it in a day." She begged.

The brunette's eyes softened at her vulnerable state.

"Please, Hailey. Don't tell anyone. I'll try to stop, I promise." Odessa began to cry again. "I promise."

"Okay, okay. I won't say anything." Hailey quickly said.  She immediately felt guilty. She remembered what Thalia went through when Odessa was first going through her eating disorder. She remembered how mentally draining it was trying to help her over come it. She didn't want Thalia to go through that again. But she was in a hard place. All she could do was promise to help her best friend.