stage 07. [ warning suicide and blood] 

Each day not spent with you had been a torturing test of wills, when every night the memories of your smile haunted me, now tainted by another's presence. A wave of pain came in, followed by emptiness. The city outside my window was so oblivious to that ache, a cold, concrete jungle reflecting the void inside me.

Tonight, the silence in my apartment was a heavy shroud weighted upon me. I tried to deaden the ache, but nothing worked. The loneliness was suffocating. My tears flowed like water, constant reminders of your absence. I felt lost, adrift in a sea of despair.

In that dark moment of clarity, the idea to end it all seemed like an exit. I stumbled towards the balcony, reeling with thoughts of escape. The lights of the city below seemed so distant and unforgiving. My peering over the edge of the 26th floor, vertigo chilled in contrast to the pain in my chest. Just as I was going to make the final leap, my phone buzzed furiously in my pocket. Your name flashed upon the screen, a light ray in my darkness.

I fumbled to answer, shaking. The moment your voice came through the receiver, it was a lifeline. "J. Jimin," you sobbed, a fragile whisper, "I just wanted to say. for the last time. that you shouldn't question our love. those six years."

"Y/N, where are you?" I pleaded-my desperation raw and unfiltered in my voice.

"I. I love you, Jimin. I always have. I never cheated on you. It was Mr. ." Your voice cracked, the words barely making it through your tears. "I saw you that day. You haven't been taking care of yourself." The heft of your confession hit me hard, like a gut punch. "They. they are so cruel to do this to us."

"Who are they? Who's doing this to us?" My voice was a whisper, my heart beating in a mix of terror and despair.

You let out a bitter laugh-a sound slicing into me with the pang of a hot knife. "I am leaving, Jimin," you said softly, but the finality within that one tone was just too much to bear. "Y/N, who are they? What's happening?"

"They. they said if I don't break up with you, all your hard work will go to naught, along with the other members." Your voice faltered then went silent.

"Y/N, tell me! Where are you? I need to know!" My voice was frantic, desperation clinging to my tone in contrast to how so calm you sounded.

"Mom. Dad is agreeing with them. They're making me get engaged to someone else." Your voice choked into a sob. Then, suddenly, there was silence; the line was dead.

The cold reality of your absence drove me into a panic. I grabbed my keys and raced to my car; my heart pounding with one thought: I needed to find you. The drive to your parents' house felt like an eternity. I pounded on the front door, desperation and anger driving my strength.Your father answered, his face masked with irritation and disbelief. "What-

"WHERE IS SHE?!" I bellowed, my voice breaking with emotion.

His eyes flashed with frustration. "Look, kid, I don't want my daughter in danger because of you—"

"Tell me, where is Y/N?!" I shouted, mixing fury and fear into my tone.

Your mother flung herself beside me, her face wet with tears. She nodded yes, you were inside the house. I took an instant run toward your room and found it locked from the outside. Your mother's wails heightened with her voice cracking. She revealed to me that you had been locked inside for weeks now. Buoyed by desperation, I broke the door open.

The scene inside was a heartless reflection of the chaos in your heart: clothes strewn everywhere, the room messy. 

I stumbled into the bathroom, my breath catching in my throat. Inconceivable what lay in there, a nightmare twisting my reality. You were lying lifeless in the tub, that bright form cold and unmoving. The tub was filled with your blood, the comforting tub filled with a pool of your blood. That pool spread dark, a cruel mirror of the love we shared.

As I reached to you, my hands shook uncaringly. Desperate, I tried shaking you awake, the fingers grasping a cold, limp body. "Wake up, Y/N! Please, wake up!" I screamed, raw and desperate in my voice. It was too late, however. Your skin turned pale, your eyes shut in eternal rest.

Her sobs were uncontrolled, her hands shaking as she drummed on your chest to try and restore life to it. The cry came out louder and louder, more frantic, to ring the room with the cacophony of desperation. I could see the agonized lines upon her face, the reflection of my own despair.I slumped onto the wet tiles of the bathroom, pulling your dead body into my arms. The cold tiles against my body were slick with your blood, crimson staining everything it touched. I held you close, my tears mingling with the blood. 

Pressing my ear against your chest, I hoped, prayed, that somehow against all the odds, I could hear the beat of a heart. My heart raced frantically with desperation, each beat a deafening reminder of the silence filling the room. "Please, Y/N. Please stay with me. Stay with me," I whispered, my voice trembling and breaking with every word. Tears streamed down my face, mingling with the blood that stained my hands and clothes. My fingers stroked your cold skin that had lost even a trace of warmth, a trace of life.

"Don't leave me like this. Not now," I begged, hearing my voice crack at my words. How did we end up here? I thought, finding this question echoing in the hollow of my heart. Wasn't there something I had overlooked? Something I might have done differently? I could hardly bear to look at you, yet I couldn't take my eyes away. Every time I blinked, I half-expected to see just a flicker of life, some sort of sign that you were still here with me.

I should have been there, I should have noticed, I should have saved you. These thoughts were relentless merciless siege of guilt and agony. You were my everything; how could I have let this happen?

I held on tighter, my arms shaking as I tried to protect you from cold, hard reality. Tears openly flowed, one river of grief that couldn't stem. How can I go on without you?

I wanted to scream, to shout out my pain and rage, but all that came out was a ragged whisper "I love you"