Flashback: Stage 2

All I remember is that, a couple of years back, everything used to be so different. It was one of those rare days when everything was just perfect, and we would spend the whole day just ourselves. We had plans for a picnic in the park, which turned out to be very simple but became one of my favorite memories. I recall the sunbeams filtering through the leaves to give that warm glow when you laid the blanket on the grass.

We sat together, your head resting on my shoulder. I could feel the steady intake of your breath, which was calming, and I realized just how reliant I had grown on these moments with you. We talked about everything and nothing, our laughter mingling with the soft breeze. There was the feeling of peace, comfort in knowing we were together, sharing this small piece of our world.You reached for my hand, tangling your fingers in mine. I remember the heat of your skin, how it felt to be home. 

Even in such a small action, I felt an unspoken promise between us-a promise of attachment, of being there for each other come what may.

I'd never felt this secure, this connected. Those days formed the base of something unbreakable.

Present :

I started to hate myself; I felt the failure of our relationship was my fault. You never showed up during weekends when I prepared meals for you, saying you had to work. But I knew it was a lie. I had seen you entering a fancy restaurant and then coming out with another man whom I had never seen in our six years together. Was he the one whom you had started loving now?

You had informed me that you would be at your parent's house, then why were you going out with some other man, a stranger to me? It went deep in my psyche, and I was hurt, and tormented. Nobody could restore to health this pain that had engulfed me. I couldn't even share my grief with any person. You had started irreparably ruining my life, and I started disliking everything about my life. 

Every moment, I would stare at my phone, just waiting for your call or message. I couldn't sleep out of fear that sleeping may bring the message from you. Everything was against me, and I was living a hopeless, wretched, and miserable life. 

A lesson from my shattered life and a warning to every reader of this: "Never love a person deeply." Never, I mean. never.

You came back home, but you were absent even when present. We sat together and watched a movie, but your mind was elsewhere. The scenes were playing in front of us, but you were lost in some other world. I tried to pull you toward myself, seeking to offer comfort within my arms, but you pushed me away, claiming a need for a comfortable seat. Wasn't my arms once your comfort zone?

We both were indulged in the movie until one scene came-the scene wherein the actors kissed tenderly. I could feel your eyes upon me, and a shy smile was playing on your face. I inched closer towards you as I sensed that your cheeks had gotten into a light pink color.

 It was so cute. I pulled you onto my lap, ready to embrace the intimate connection we once shared, but.

"Jimin!" I was suddenly snapped out from my thoughts. You were shaking me, eyes all confused.

 "What's wrong with you? I've been calling you!"

"Oh, uh. I was just. sorry," I stuttered, shaking off the distraction.

You gave me that puzzled look; I tried to interpret it as concern. I was such a fool. Kisses from you I did crave, closeness with you, and every time the subject came up, you started to make excuses. You started to hide your phone, became touchy when I would pick it up innocently. You no longer smiled at me; I'd just sit in the living room, sad and exhausted from practice, then see you coming down the stairs, nicely dressed. I hope this time you would ask me to date or at least to dinner. But never did.

That day, you came back home late again. I was standing in the hallway and waiting for you. And just when you opened our door, you looked at me in surprise: "W-why are you. still awake?" suspiciously.

"Y/n. where were you all this time?" I asked, trying not to raise my voice. "It is none of my business, but. I just wondered."

You snapped, "Anywhere, none of your business!" Your voice was dripping with venom. "Why are you so wrapped up in my life? Let me breathe, for God's sake!" you yelled, pushing me away as I tried to reach out to you. "Jeez, do I Really need to answer that?" Your voice was like a dripping poison, and I just stared at you with empty eyes, void of hope or feeling.

Pains within me kept growing deep, the emotional wounds raw, bleeding.