ALTHOUGH IT'S ALWAYS CROWDED,
BUT YOU STILL CAN FIND SOME ROOM
FOR BROKEN HEARTED LOVERS
TO CRY IN THEIR GLOOM

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

I seem to hurt everyone around me. As much as I'm angry at him, Austin is right. "If I was a good sister, I would've seen Hugo relapsing, but I didn't. I was too busy with Austin."

"My Ottilie pie..." Maria takes my hand into hers. The acoustics of the car make my breath sound dull, but in reality, it is as shallow as can be. "You did see it. You wouldn't be here if you hadn't."

"Well, I was too late." I argue.

She lets out a sigh and starts the engine. As we take on the road, Maria tries to, not so subtly, distract me. "Remember this place?" She points out at the strawberry field we're driving by, and floods my mind with memories of bitter childhood. Right by the road stand people selling pounds of strawberries to travelers passing by.

"We'd be here every Saturday." Maria smiles. The field disappears behind my peripheral vision once she takes a turn, though it is carved into my memory. "I remember you always wanting the dark red and sweet ones, while Hugo wanted the small and white ones because he liked how sour they were."

I chuckle. Forcibly, it makes me smile. "I know. I used to get so angry about it. I mean, how could you like the white strawberries? They're disgusting!"

Maria laughed along, stopping at a right red, not so far away from the field. "But Hugo would never get angry, because he was the only one that liked the sour ones, so he'd have them all to himself."

Hugo would never get angry.

That line strikes me more than I thought it would. She was right. Hugo never really got angry, and when he did, it was a quick spark that went out even quicker. Hugo is my brother, but we are nothing alike.

I'm anxious most of the time, while Hugo is only anxious when I am. I get attached too quickly, and ignore my surrounding. The only thing Hugo seems to get attached to is drugs, in which case he takes the same road as I do. He ignores his surrounding.

"Can we make a turn?" I ask as I change my mind about Hugo and I. Maybe we are similar after all.

"Why?" Maria questions.

"I wanna buy some strawberries."

Maria does not question again, and does as I ask. When we park, I step out and rush to one of the strawberry stands. "Hi, can I have all the little white ones?"

-

"Oliver, take the fedora off Priscilla's head!" Holly chimes as she's pulling the curtains to make it as dark in their living room as possible.

"But she looks so silly!" Oliver chuckles. He still does as he's told, and helps light the candles instead. "What if she touches these? Isn't it dangerous for babies?"

"We're going to put her here." Holly grunts as she picks Priscilla up, and sits her in her maxi-cosi. "This way she can't touch the candles."

They take position. Sitting with their legs crossed on the floor, while candles burn around them in a circle. "Okay," Holly breathes in, "ready?"

"Y-yeah..." Oliver does the same, though he isn't so sure about what they're doing. "Do you think this is going to work?"

"Of course! I watched a woman on YouTube, she said this is the best way to manifest. We just have to clear our heads."

Following the way Holly breathes in and out, Oliver tries to clear his mind. Deafening silence, Priscilla watches the two in confusion, before she throws her chewable toy and Oliver. "Ow!" She groans.

"If you want Priscilla to be out baby, you have to focus!" Holly rolls her eyes.

"I-I'm trying but I think she's making fun of us..." He points at the cheeky baby laughing in front of them.

-

I ring his doorbell.

Classic Hugo, it takes minutes before he opens. "Ottie?"

"Hugo." I say, holding out the basket of tiny little white strawberries for him. "Can I come in?"

His pupils dialate as he moves out of frame for me, throwing a couple of the strawberries in his mouth.

His house is all over the place. Clothes scattered, empty beer cans crumpled and thrown in every corner. His PlayStation connected to the living room TV, I smile, at least his childhood dream came true.

"Where's Olga?"

He rolls his eyes, and although tries to hide it, I see it. "She left. Why? We're going to fight her?"

"Hugo, I'm sorry."

He looks at me like he's seen a ghost.

"I'm sorry for being a terrible sister. I'm sorry I couldn't see it, and I'm sorry I was so busy with Austin."

"What?" As he leads me to his couch, stretching his legs over the coffee table, "You couldn't see what?"

"Hugo, you're on drugs."

I can feel the strawberry leaf stuck in his throat. He gulps. "N-No... I told you I'm clea-"

"You're fucking not! Hugo! Olga's drugging you!" My immediate cut off sends him into a frenzy.

Hugo rises to his feet, his nostrils flaring, "Not this again! Ottie, why can't you just be happy I'm in a relationship for once?"

"I would be happy if the person you're dating wasn't drugging you because she has a drug fetish!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I groans with his face buried in his palms. I take the chance to simmer the moment by holding his wrists and leading him back to the couch. It breaks my heart to see him like this, again... "What does that even mean?"

"Hugo, I talked to Julien- Olga's ex." I say.

"You found her ex?"

Rolling my eyes, "I didn't find him! He was a customer at Andromeda, remember? Austin's old friend- whatever, him and Olga dated a long time ago. Before she ever dated Austin."

"So?" He shrugs. "What'd he say?"

I lick my chapped lips, clear my throat, sit straight. All of these are ways for me to gather my thoughts and win more time. I have no idea where to start. "Olga has a history of doing this. He told me he always felt down around her, like, different. Then he met another one of her exes, and they talked over coffee where Julien learned Olga likes to drug her boyfriends because she likes them better that way."

I'm not sure if Hugo is listening, and even if he is, I don't know if this is the quiet before the storm. Will he yell at me? Or finally realize everything?

"So when Olga started dating Austin, Julien said Austin looked just like he did when he dated her. He looked different, always had bags under his eyes."

Hugo shivered beside me. His fingers went to his face, to feel the bags under his own eyes.

"And then they broke up, and she started dating you." I tell him, as I look him straight in the eyes. "I noticed you looking different. And I asked you if you were on something, remember?"

"I remember." He whispers. Hugo seems to have been brought back to his senses.

"Hugo, I swear it's not about Olga, or that she's Austin's ex. I'm just worried about you. You're my little brother, you're like, my favorite person in the whole world, and I want the absolute best for you."

His eyes widen. "I'm your favorite person?"

My arms sneak around his shoulders. "Of course you are. I know I've been so busy with Austin, and I know I've been a terrible sister-"

"You're not a terrible sister." He cuts me off, shaking his head. "I never thought that way of you."

"Because your heart isn't programmed to think badly about people. Hugo, you're too good for this world. I know I've been neglecting you, but I won't anymore. I won't treat you like I did when I had that stupid Barbie."

He turns to me, eyes watering. "Maria told you that story too?"

"The time I had a Barbie that looked just like me, that I was in love with, and therefore didn't speak to anyone else?" I recap, while he's vigorously shaking his head with a dumb smile on his face. "She did!"

"She's been telling me our childhood stories lately. I realized how annoying I was." He says.

Something inside of me shatters. "I realized how angry I was, all the time. And how selfish I was. Hugo, I promise there won't ever be a Barbie in my life again, I won't waste my time on love."

He sits with me, in the silence of our thoughts. "You will." He whispers. "Yes, I was jealous of that Barbie, but I was a kid. Don't let me stop you from having someone in your life. Just, make sure to love me a little more."

We laugh, tears streaming down our faces, and embrace each other in a warm hug. I realized I needed it. A weight has been lift off my shoulders, though what Hugo said got stuck in my mind.

I am allowed to have someone in my life...

Austin, he was my Barbie, and I was allowed to work things out with him.

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

IN THE NEXT CHAPTER

Hugo breaks it off

Someone's going to jail...

and the Priscilla situation

Please don't forget to vote<3