"You're... in love with Adrien?" The memory of your sister's words flowed through you so unexpectedly, that you had no choice but to reminisce with them.

"Yeah, what about it?" You asked as you tugged on your leather jacket. You admired yourself in the mirror along with your creation. You had just studded the seams along the jacket the night before, and you were very proud of your work.

Marinette's face fell before it shifted to a bright red hue that showed her fury, and her hand twitched with jealously as she clutched your sheets between her fingers.

She sat there watching you, despising you.

You stood so much taller than she did, which was always infuriating since she was the older twin. Your hair was always a mess and she was certain you never brushed it, but you some how pulled it all off as a 'zero effort' look that everyone wished for (and hated everyone who could pull it off). Your voice was calming compared to hers, even though you yell just about as much as she did, and it always drew people in. You would fit with Adrien. He deserved someone who could actually have a normal conversation with him, which wasn't her.

"What do you think?" You asked her as you spun around to face her and held your arms out wide, with a hopeful smile sprawled across your lips.

You were better than her at creating too.

That one thing that had always been hers, you came right in and did it better. Like you did with everything.

She wanted to hate you. She despised that you had everything she could only dream of having. She wanted to make you feel this emptiness that she's held in her gut for so long.

It wasn't fair that only she was feeling it.

"I think..." Marinette spoke and her voice trailed off, causing your features to shift into a confused expression. You took a seat next to her on the bed after you noticed she was shaking. You couldn't tell if she was crying or cold, but it wasn't like it mattered since you were never able to successfully comfort her.

You never knew what to say or what to do to help...but something comfortable always helped you, so maybe-

You reached behind you and grabbed your fuzzy blanket when she stood abruptly.

"I'm in love with Adrien too!" She yelled, leaving you stunned. You let go of the blanket and turned towards her.

"You are?" You asked softly and felt your eyes well with tears.

You and Marinette had never been close, you've been different, but oddly similar your entire lives. Never once had the two of you talked about boys, so you had no idea she felt this way, no matter how obvious it may have been.

You never assumed anything about her, just always watched her live from the sidelines and waited for the day she would come back to you.

"Yes...so much it hurts." She spoke her confession quietly so it wouldn't break, exposing the rotten feeling living inside of her.

You frowned as you stared at your sister. There was so much the two of you didn't know about each other, and you were so desperate to change that.

The only reason you even told her how you felt about him was because you planned to go tell him how you felt as soon as you finished getting ready.

You wanted advice on how to approach this from your sister. You had your friends, sure, but you were hoping if you asked Marinette about this, then maybe it would be a good reconnecting point for the two of you.

You hadn't even stopped to think that it would result in another wedge to drive the two of you apart.

You looked up and saw Marinette's eyes were welling with tears. You sighed, hunched over, and gripped your hair as your mind raced, searching for the best possible solution for this predicament.

And you found only one.

You took in a sharp, but deep breath as you looked up at her again, your eyes were struggling to focus as your tears became more prominent. "Okay." You spoke and she tilted her head in confusion.

"Okay?" She questioned.

"He's yours. I won't tell him how I feel." You spoke with a small, forced smile. This was the only way to fix this.

Marinette gasped at your decision. How could you give up on Adrien so easily if you loved him? You were just prepared to tell him how you felt minutes before and now you were ready to walk away. She knew some would say this act was considerate, but she was wrong—Adrien deserved better than you.

He deserved someone who would choose him always, like she would.

"Yeah. Thanks." Her vile tone held still in the air as she stormed from your room and slammed the door shut.

Everything holding in the air crashed to the surface.

Her action stunned you into silence.

How stupid could you have been to think that giving up something that truly mattered to you would fix things?

You tried to stand, tried to walk to the door and demand that she saw this from your perspective. But your legs gave out as soon as your feet touched the floor, and the tears took control, you broke out into heavy sobs.

"What the hell?" You whispered.

With a sigh you saved yourself from reliving any more of that memory. The flash of your phone, notifying you that there was a new YouTube video to watch relieved you from the reminder that you gave up on one of the only things you cared about.

You were alone in your room, spinning around in your desk chair, sadly amused. It was the only thing that took up the small space besides your desk and bed.

Once your belongings arrived, your parents had helped you bring everything back to your room. But being back here has been so saddening that you haven't been able to convince yourself to tear through the tape and put things up.

Your room was bland without your decoration, the eggshell walls were desperate for your posters of various bands, anime, and travel locations to return.

That still didn't motivate you.

You sighed and checked your weather app to see what time it was in New York. It was late over there but you still started a FaceTime call to Zoe, hoping she was up late playing on her switch.

Nothing.

You placed your phone down on your desk silently, leaving the failed call screen up. You tugged your graphically designed shoe you made with her off your foot and brushed your thumb over the large 'I love you' written on the top of it.

It was startling to realize that you were in a similar position that you were a year ago; hunched over, crying slow tears as you watched them drop to the surface one
by
one.

It was sorta like the rain, the beginning stages where the droplets of water slowly started to form. You adored the rain, but only when it was truly pouring outside. Those first few drops were just irritating, like the advertisements before a movie.

You guess you felt the same way about crying. Everything inside of you was slowly breaking, the cracks of your heart and soul only expanded with time. There were so many tears inside of you clawing to get out, but here you were with only a few irritating droplets that failed to wash the sadness away.

You sighed once more and wiped your eyes, tossing your shoe into the bin along with the other one.

You walked into your closet and pulled out your old, dusty keyboard. You felt your mood instantly lighten at the sight of it. Back in New York, you always borrowed the piano at the school you attended with Jess. You didn't have the space in your luggage to bring this one along for the ride.

You carried it towards the corner of your room and set it up, dragging a small stool that was stored upstairs to place in front of it.

Music was the one true light of your life, remembering that you had that outlet here suddenly made things feel more okay.

Finally, you were feeling the motivation to make this place look like home again.

**

The weekend went by fast and you didn't hear back from Zoe until early Monday morning. She was apologetic but didn't have time to talk since she was already running late for a lecture that morning.

You were worried sick about her, but you didn't have time to dwell on that. Your mother was already knocking on your door to remind you that you did in fact have to go back to your old school today.

You fumbled through the clothes in your closet and found absolutely nothing. You finished redecorating your room with some old and new decorations you brought back, but you fell asleep before getting around to your clothes.

Okay, you were watching anime but that's besides the point.

Your closet was filled with the clothes you left behind, but your style had changed a lot since you left. It was already in the process of changing right before, but it had shifted enough now that you didn't want to wear anything in your closet. You ripped the clothes off their hangers and threw them in the corner of your room to put in bags to donate later.

You grabbed a pair of scissors off your desk and sliced open your box of clothes.

You pulled out a graphic tee and your black oversized denim jacket. You searched through your clothes and found a pair of shorts to wear with it.

You got dressed and headed downstairs, grabbing a croissant and leaving without saying anything other than thank you for the breakfast to your parents.

Marinette was out of the door soon after you were and followed almost uncomfortably close behind you, but not next to you.

Never next to you.

She had been really sad seeing how you returned. You were much snippier than you were a year ago, which was saying something considering you always had a sassy attitude. You barely talked to your parents and you spent most of your time in your room trying to call someone. She stood outside of your door and heard three FaceTime fail sounds. She wondered what happened in New York to make you so sad.

Maybe it was just leaving that broke you.

Another thought crossed Marinette's mind rapidly and she cringed at the thought, maybe she caused this heartache for you.

Did you really love Adrien that much?

It's not like it mattered what Marinette felt anymore anyways. Adrien was in love with another girl and made no move to reciprocate Marinette's feelings.

You walked into the courtyard and your old classmates stared at you intently.

The school wasn't huge, but everyone congregated in the courtyard before the classes started. You were surprised that you made it there with enough time to face the gawkers.

You weren't the best at making it places on time.

When you left last year, it was pretty abrupt. You had received many concerned messages from your old friends, but you answered none of them.

You left the story of what drove you away to Marinette's fabrication.

"Y/n? Is that you?" Your blood chilled at the sound of his voice.

It was so distant, so familiar.

It felt like home, hearing him again.

You spun on your feet and tried casually faced him (don't mind the fact that you stumbled on your feet when you tried to look suave.)

Adrien looked the exact same, with his bright green eyes that only lit up more with his happy smile. You had kept up on him and his recent ads over the past year, it was hard letting go of the boy who unintentionally broke your heart.

There was something slightly off with him, his smile wasn't as tall as it would be and his eyes highlighted the sadness he was trying to suppress.

It was your fault, wasn't it?

Adrien had been one of the first people to ask you why you left without saying goodbye, and you couldn't bring yourself to answer him.

You had a hard time facing the fact that you ran away from your sister because you were in love with a boy who wasn't meant to be yours.

"It's me alright." You laughed awkwardly, finally breaking out of your thoughts. You had been staring at him way longer than normal, so you pinched yourself for being so awkward.

"How was New York? I saw all the pictures you posted on your Instagram!" He sounded really excited for you which made your heart race.

He's not even mentioning the fact that I ignored all of them...he's too kind.

You nodded, temporarily throwing the thought away, "It was amazing, everything I could have dreamed it would be." Wait, I didn't even realize he kept up with me when I was gone...holy shit.

His smile only grew when he saw how happy you were with your exchange program. It was so relieving.

Marinette was terribly upset when you left, but never explained why other than her sister was leaving. He hoped whatever happened between the two of you had been resolved. "That's great Y/n. Where's Marinette? Did she come in with you?" He asked excitedly, wondering if she had already made her way to class.

Your heart sank but you forced a smile, remembering why you spent a year ignoring and trying getting over these feelings in the first place. "I think she came a bit later than I did." You replied, having no clue she walked in right behind you.

Hearing her name leave his mouth irked a feeling you tried to ignore. You had told Marinette that he was hers but she never acted on it.

Seeing her mope around about not being with him instead of telling him had truly torn you two apart.

You felt like you gave up the chance to be happy with someone, for nothing.

"Wanna walk to class?" He asked as he pointed his thumb up towards the stairs, "We've got the same teacher as last year." He smiled, thinking about how lovely their favorite teacher, Miss Bustier, was.

With a nod, you silently followed him up the stairs. All these thoughts about your sister killed your desire to say anymore.

The class was laid out the same as you remembered. You made your way to the back and sat behind a girl with dark hair who you didn't recognize at first.

When you realize it was Juleka, you jumped up and hugged her tightly—despite how uncomfortable it made her.

You apologized endlessly to her, she and Rose were your closest friends in Paris, and you left them in the dark.

Such a shitty friend.

"We forgive you Y/n, promise." Juleka muttered and Rose nodded, grabbing your hands and wearing that same, contagious smile.

"Of course we forgive you Y/n! We're happy you had so much fun." Rose said, beaming like she always was.

What would you do without such good friends who understood that you just needed an escape?

And you did escape, what a lovely, temporary feeling that was.

Because like everything, all good things come to an end.

Now you were left here, back in the place where it all started with spiteful memories returning with you to Paris with a vengeance.

You quickly glanced to the front of the class and found Marinette staring at Adrien from behind him, like a damn love sick puppy.

So much changes in life, but at the same time, so much doesn't.

Edited: 5/13 ;)