#HeartboundWP

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Day 14.2 | E/N

ELIAS RESTS HIS head against the steering wheel for two minutes when he gets inside the car. He's not exactly sure how he feels, having just finished his initial intake session. He's . . . okay, generally, but there's this feeling he cannot name after stepping out of the building. It's not anything negative or something to flag for concern, but his first time is definitely . . . an experience. He thinks the odd feeling just stems from this being entirely new to him.

He raises his head, turning it from side to side to give his neck a good stretch. He fishes for his wristwatch on the front pocket of his jeans. Miss Luz's secretary asked him to surrender his watch before his session, saying that it's the therapist's protocol for initial intakes. He didn't bother putting it on immediately when it was returned to him after. Nagmamadali siya papuntang parking.

He finds the protocol weird, honestly, but harmless. When he sits on the teal couch placed on one side of the room, his eyes involuntarily search for a clock. There's none—at least none that he can see—aside from the hourglass on the low, cream table placed at the center. He watches the sands of time drop on moments where he finds it difficult to answer the questions Miss Luz asks him.

He gets his phone and searches the map for somewhere he can drive to. He doesn't feel like going home, yet. And he can use an early lunch because he woke up a bit later than he should and had to forego breakfast so as not to be late for his first appointment. The map suggests a mall just a few kilometers away from his spot. Not bothering to scan his other options, he drives to the place.

Several minutes later, he arrives at the parking lot of a mall relatively smaller than its neighboring shopping complexes. It probably explains why there seems to be fewer people than what one can expect on a weekend when he gets inside. The lights aren't so bright but they are on, and the stores aren't so packed but they remain open. Pabor naman kay Elias ang estado ng lugar dahil hindi na niya kinailangang humanap ng kakainan na may pinakakaunting tao—all the food places seem to have a lot of empty seats. He enters a Filipino restaurant, this branch noticeably smaller than the other branches he has been to, and orders his food.

He makes himself comfortable on the booth on one side of the place, the one closest to the glass walls. In the middle of waiting for his lunch, the centerpiece on the table beside the promo display catches his attention. It's a vase in an unusual shape. He thinks that it's made of glass, and its transparent walls display a few stems of flowers inside—artificial, he guesses.

He can think of one other person who would find it interesting.

And maybe it's his hunger, or the universe just toying with him like usual, but he swears his peripheral vision catches a glimpse of Nadi passing him by from the other side of the glass wall. He turns his head so quickly to check that he could have given himself a whiplash. By the second he gets a clear view of outside the restaurant, wala na si Nadi roon—if she ever were there.

He blinks his vision of her away, turning his gaze back to the table centerpiece. He swears he saw her. Maybe he saw someone else who just happens to be tall with waist-length hair and wearing a blue dress, but he thinks it's impossible that he would mistake anyone else for Nadi. If someone asks him to look for her at a pool of a thousand people, he knows he'll find her right away. He has her features memorized, her shape embedded deep in his brain, the smallest details he knows and loves about her spilled all over the crevices of his mind and the nooks of his heart. He might as well have developed an alert system that notifies him whenever she's around.

But, regardless of all these, he's still human and he makes mistakes. After all, he had quite a morning. He gets his phone from his pocket and sends a reply to his friends.

Maybe it's all in his head. He's not sure if it's better that way, or if he wants it to be that way, but it doesn't matter. He had already made a home in his mind for her, anyway.

And she's always welcome to visit.

* * *

NADIA ENDS HER much needed break on Saturday. She leaves home, gets breakfast with Yanyan, decides to doll herself up after, then takes herself out on a little date for lunch. She searches the web for movie showings she plans to attend after maybe getting her nails done or doing some window shopping. Most of the nearby theaters are nearly packed, so she spends a few more minutes after styling her hair looking for the other options where there's potentially less people.

She rushes to gather her things and puts on her kitten heels when she finally finds the perfect place. It's a mall a little bit farther than her usual go-to places, but they have this mini theater that looks so cozy—in photos, at least.

Unfortunately, when she arrives, she's already short in time to eat, do something else, and be in time for the movie. She decides to just have lunch and just get her nails done some other time. And this mall doesn't offer a lot for a fulfilling window shopping, anyway. She has enough time to make it to the cinemas when she finishes her food.

She already knows what the showing movies are, but decides to take a look at the movie posters displayed on one side of the small ticketing booth. There are only two options to choose from, given the capacity of the place. She scans the bright displays of a few brands for movie snacks, not worrying about the time because there are no lines forming, before proceeding to buy her ticket.

She walks to the snack counter without looking where she's going. Her eyes are too busy finding that spot on her small, pretty, but impractical handbag where the wallet she's now returning inside fits earlier. It's not like she's going to get lost in a space this empty, anyway, nor bump into anyone. She stops on her tracks when the back of a pair of shoes and the hems of brown pants registers in her vision while she's still busy playing Tetris with her wallet and her bag.

She sighs when she finally slips her wallet in.

She brings her eyes up from her bag to the man in front of her.

Her heart skips a beat.

It doesn't take her more than a second to align the pieces in her head.

Why would it? They match as perfectly as she remembers. She didn't even have to think. They just . . . fell into place.

Like how it has always been.

* * *

AFTER LUNCH, ELIAS decides to roam around the mall for a few minutes, walking just to pass the time. He goes up a floor when he encounters a standing display of the cinema schedule beside the escalators. He does not feel like leaving, yet, despite the academic backlogs waiting for him in his room. A movie won't hurt, right? It's just a little under two hours. Then, he'll drive to Ate's for Zozo and to help with dinner. He'll go home after, and if he feels like he still can, he'll attend to what he missed in classes this week. Pero kung hindi na niya kaya, then he would just sleep and take care of it first thing tomorrow.

He's pacing himself—careful not to rush and hurt himself, as well as not to dwell too long on things that he ends up getting stuck on.

When he locates the almost empty cinemas, he heads to the counter to get his tickets. Napadalawang-isip pa siya upon seeing that only four of the seats are shown to be occupied, almost thinking that the place is for something else because it's now starting to seem so sketchy. He still buys his ticket, though, then proceeds to the snack booth to get a bucket of popcorn and a huge bottle of water.

Kabubukas-bukas lang ng booth for snacks, so he's asked to wait for a few minutes for the popcorn. He nods to the staff who hands him his bottled water. He's staying in his spot, waiting, when he hears clicking sounds against the floor. When he turns his head to look at the source, pakiramdam niya ay binuhos niya sa sarili niya ang hawak niyang malamig na tubig.

Holy shit.

It was, in fact, not just all in his head.

She's here. She's here.

He looks away, blinking a couple times to make sure that his vision's clear. He gets his phone from his pocket, his fingers quite shaking but still quickly padding over the letters to tell his friends that he thinks he saw Nadi, like it's some sort of breaking news that couldn't wait until he gets home later. His screen shows marks from his hands that are starting to sweat when he locks his phone.

He doesn't know what to do. Shall he look again and check? Paano kung hindi iyon si Nadi? He can no longer pin this one on hunger since he just had lunch. Fuck.

With his heart pumping a concoction of apprehension, avidity, and everything in between, Elias braves himself to take a second glance.

It's her. It's really her. He watches her look around, craning her neck upwards and reading all the booth signs. His heart rams against his chest violently, scared of what would happen to him if she ever meets his eyes and catches him staring unabashed.

He lets out a shaky breath when she turns to the ticketing staff in front of her without noticing his figure. Parang pinakaba lang siya. Before he can even pass out with all his staring, the staff gets his attention for his popcorn.

When he turns his head to look again, she's gone. His eyebrows furrow in confusion. Pumasok na ba siya sa loob ng sinehan? Hindi alam ni Elias kung makakahinga ba siya nang maluwag o ano. Are they going to watch the same movie? Are they going to sit in the same row? How many seats apart, kung ganoon? Is she going to be fine with that? Or would he need to move and find another seat where she couldn't see him so she would be more comfortable?

Elias sighs when his heartbeats finally slow down and finds its calm.

But then, he turns around.

And there stands Nadi, looking at him with her bright eyes and lips parted, reminding him that there's no easy way to escape her.

* * *

THEIR EYES MEET, and their hearts take it as a starting whistle before they race.

It's not like Nadia needed any more confirmation that it's Elias standing in front of her, having recognized him merely by the breadth of his shoulders and the way he stands earlier. She was searching the area just a second ago for Zoa, thinking that she's here with his uncle, when the said uncle turns around and their eyes lock.

And she gets sucked in again like it's the first time.

Hindi niya alam kung bakit pa siya nagulat—both on the confirmation that it's really him, and on the way her heart wants to leap out of her throat, make its way to his hands, and ask him to own it—to keep it. She already knew it was him the second she laid her eyes on him, while the latter one is not a new experience—she already knows that feeling all too well.

She doesn't know where to look, nor what to say. When she gets over her own shock, she recognizes the surprise on his face. His hair has grown quite longer now than she remembers, kahit na it has just been two weeks since they last saw each other. She can almost feel his hair on her palms, slipping in between the spaces of her fingers. His cream, cable knit pullover hugs him in the right places. Like it was specifically made to fit him, the fabric lays in a way that makes it seem like it has been ironed against his chest.

She blinks rapidly when she feels her cheeks eating up. Oh my god. Her heart picks up its pace even more when she realizes that she's ogling him and that he might notice, fully unaware that he's struggling to keep his hold on his popcorn and bottled water stable because she wouldn't break eye contact.

Kung hindi lang siya todo-todong mapapahiya, baka nabitiwan na ni Elias ang mga bitbit niya. His throat runs dry when Nadia blinks slowly at him, fragments of the cinemas' downlights reflecting from her eyes. Her hair forms waves that perfectly fit her face, running down to the indent of her waist emphasized by the blue dress she's wearing. Mesmerized, he fights the urge to trace the moles on her face with his eyes, but he fails. It's even a bigger mistake to let his eyes linger for a little too long on the two beauty marks near her lips. God. This is just a whole new level of beauty. He struggles, but is able to collect himself, and gives her a curt nod before moving out of her way.

He's supposed to turn to the narrow corner leading to the hall of where the viewing area is, but he's stuck. He remains standing just a few feet away from her, unable to take his eyes off her despite knowing how much he's embarrassing himself for staring. He wants to look away, afraid to make her uncomfortable, but he can't. He just can't. Like there's a force pulling him in towards her orbit, and he's helpless.

Nadia stutters when she tells the staff her order. From the side of her eye, she can see and feel him looking, and it takes everything in her not to turn her head and meet his gaze again. But he doesn't give her a choice because he's not moving from his spot, so she lets herself look.

Elias doesn't let her gaze go anywhere else as she makes her way towards where he is. She stops right in front of him. Now that the rush has dissipated, she realizes that she doesn't mind seeing him nor being this near him. Did she prepare herself that she would be seeing him this afternoon? No, this is totally unexpected. But it's not necessarily a bad thing.

She assesses her emotions. She's not sad. She doesn't find any regrets from her decision two weeks ago. Is her heart beating at an unusually fast rate being this close to him after having him gone for fourteen days? Does looking at him now remind her of her unreciprocated affection? The answer is yes to both questions, but nothing is reversing any of her progress—not his captivating dark brown eyes or all his staring that feels like an invite for her to take the leap again and fall towards him.

She's not blaming him for things not working out between them. She's not the slightest bit angry at him for them not having a real chance. She may even be . . . happy to see him.

So, she smiles at him, for the first time since they have ended whatever good thing they had going on, and says, "Hi."

On multiple occasions during the previous days, Elias had wondered what he would say when he met her again. He already had a jumble of words to choose from and had prepared a string of incoherent questions, but he manages to form new ones at this very moment. How are you? Have you been well? I'm sorry. How's work? You're taking a break? That's good. You should do it more often. Are you mad at me? You look nice. That dress suits you. I'm so sorry. What did you have for lunch? What are you planning to have for dinner? You should eat well, ha? I hurt you, didn't I? I'm sorry. How did you find this place? Can we stay here? What made you see this movie? Let's stay here, please. Do you have plans after? Can you not go? Ingat, ah? Especially if you're driving.

Please don't leave. I'm sorry.

I hope I see you around again.

The words start to quickly crawl out of his throat, and he closes his mouth before a single one can escape. Instead, not wanting to get this wrong this time around, he paces himself and doesn't say anything.

There's no need to rush.

He merely smiles at her, hoping that it's enough to tell her that he thinks it's nice to see her again, before stepping aside, and gesturing for her to walk ahead of him and go inside first.

He follows behind her, carefully matching her pace.

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a/n | new telegram channel for notifs/announcements: <t.me/mayupdateba>