~Three Weeks Later~

Why is life getting harder?

Jimin stares at the box with a mix of disgust and curiosity in his eyes. No... he shouldn't. This isn't him. Or is it? Fucking hell he doesn't even know anymore. He sighs and runs a hand through his long locks. His black hair is getting a lot longer nowadays, he hasn't gone to the barber in a while. Y/N keeps telling him to go, but for some reason he doesn't want to.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Jackson says, sitting next to him, "I know I won't. Not my thing. I don't even know who brought them." Minho sits on his opposite side, "I think Axel did." "My girlfriend might kill me," Jimin grimaces, "and by might I mean definitely would." "But she won't kill you for staying out late again?" Minho retorts. "I've been getting better with that, it's just this once this week," he mumbles back weakly.

"Dude what's going on with you?" Jackson asks, snatching the box of cigarettes out of his hands. "Nothing," Jimin replies with a shrug. "Obviously not. You and her have been distant as hell recently. Are you even sleeping in the same bed anymore?" Minho inquires. "Of course we are. We're still dating and we still love each other," Jimin argues. "Then why are you here instead of with her?" Minho presses.

Jimin looks at the ground, the night sky cloaking the track in a sheet of darkness. His eyes go as dark as the sky while he thinks of the best way to reply. "Listen, all I'm saying is you should go home. Go see her. I'll drive you home even. I like Y/N. She's a good girl, don't waste that," Minho says. Jimin grits his teeth, "my relationship is none of your business Minho." "Dude, go home," Jackson urges, "please."

He considers his options, looking at the bottles being passed around on the other side of the large circle the basketball and track team formed. Jungkook's here, on the other side. Directly across from Jimin but the difference is he's not drinking. Jungkook is one of those college kids who thinks a drop of a drink is bad. Poor boy isn't twenty-one yet.

"I'll stay for one more drink, then Minho can take me home," Jimin offers as an alternative. Minho and Jackson look like they want to protest, then realize that this is the best option they're getting. "Aye! Pass it down this way!" Minho calls. Soon enough one of the many bottles comes.

"Opener?" Jimin questions. "It's on the other side," Minho mutters. Jimin curses under his breath before pulling out his house key and pressing it under the cap. "Woah, what are you doing Park?" Jackson questions. "Emergency opener," he whispers, using the key to lift up the cap. With enough force it pops open, the cap falling to the ground.

Minho and Jackson stare in shock. Jimin merely shrugs and drinks. He lets out a satisfied 'ah' once he's done with his sip. "Life hacks," he chimes. His two friends give him a look of concern but Jimin shakes it off to keep drinking. It's not his fault he knows alternative ways to open bottles.

Five minutes later, he's done with his beverage. "Okay Park, ready to go?" Jackson asks. Jimin almost scoffs, "I just finished, give me a minute." Minho helps Jimin clean up, then guides him to the outskirts of the track. They say their goodbyes to the others then depart, heading to Minho's car since Jimin rode up with him. Y/N probably just got home from work, but she still had to take the car there. That's another thing: whenever she's working he's kind of stuck at the house unless he calls his friends for a ride. It's not like he can take taxi or Uber or something too often, they need to save money.

Regardless, the two of them enter the car and Minho starts the engine up. Even after a minute, Minho doesn't move. "Dude?" Jimin questions. Minho jumps as if caught off guard, "right, sorry." "Are you drunk or something?" "I didn't have a drop," he mutters. "Why not? You're always the one throwing parties and drinking," Jimin asks. "Because I told Y/N I'd keep my eye on you and I can't do that when I'm drunk," Minho sharply says.

Jimin's eyes expand, "what so you're like spying on me for her?" "No, I'm making sure you get home safe. It was my decision and my suggestion. She didn't ask me if that's what you're wondering, but even if she did I'd hope you wouldn't be mad. As if you wouldn't do the same thing if she was going out drinking all the time." Jimin sinks back in his seat. He can't really argue with that.

"Listen man, something's wrong with you. And if you don't want to talk to me or Y/N about it, who are you gonna tell? We have your back. Let us help you." Jimin winces at that. Help... yeah, help. He knows he's changing. He's not that stupid, but he can't stop it for some reason. All he wants is to solve his problems on his own. The constant stress, loneliness, grades slipping, basketball... even one of those things seems impossible to solve to Jimin. Even when he's surrounded by friends he feels alone. Isolated, which only adds to his stress. He's honestly had enough. He wants to curl in a ball and cry for hours, see if that solves anything since drinking at first did but now it doesn't.

"Just leave me alone," Jimin grumbles, "I'll be fine when this whole year is over." "Do you think your girlfriend can wait that long?" Minho protests. "Minho." "Yes?" "Drive." He pauses to look over at the driver, "please." Minho opens his mouth to say something but decides against it. "Fine... but don't blame me if she gets fed up with you." And without another word, they drive away...

~~~

"Oh look who's finally home," you mumble as the door closes. You're standing in the kitchen, cleaning up your dinner. Jimin sighs, sensing your angry mood. Jesus when does this end? Going out whenever he can, not talking much to you, never taking you on dates. What happened to the boy who got all sad and pouty whenever you were away from him for a minute?

To your surprise, he comes over to the kitchen and back-hugs you. "Hey," he whispers, kissing your shoulder before resting his chin on it. Although you're pissed as hell, you'd be lying if you said his actions didn't make your heart flutter. "Hey," you whisper back, placing the plate in the sink to just focus on his touch. It feels like it's been forever since you've felt his lips on your skin.

"Can we cuddle?" he mumbles, bringing you closer. "Okay," you say without even thinking about it. Jimin picks you up bridal style, you yelping at the sudden movement. He pecks your forehead before walking to the stairs and bringing the two of you up them.

You find yourself being cuddled up in Jimin's arms on your bed, the lamp out while he holds you close. It's silent, but you can tell he wants to speak. There's silence for the next few minutes and it drives you insane. All you want to do is break it... but it should be him who speaks first. He was the one out all night after all.

"I'm sorry," he lets out, "I'm sorry for everything. For the parties, the drinking, the ignoring, even for taking so long to apologize but... I'm sorry." You somberly nod. "I know an 'I'm sorry' doesn't fix anything but Minho was right. You're a good girl and I shouldn't waste that by being stupid."

You don't have the strength to reply. You lie there in silence, still nodding against his chest. He sighs and kisses the top of your head. "Goodnight baby girl." "Goodnight," you murmur. He squeezes you against his body as if scared of letting go. Although you really, really want to believe his words, you know they're bullshit. He'll go out drinking and partying again. Even if it's not tomorrow, he'll go out again sometime this week. You know it. It's only a matter of time. You sniff. This is your fault, isn't it? You're not good enough for him. You did something wrong. The thoughts plague your mind, your heart beating faster. What if the problem is you?

~The Next Day~

Jimin throws the pencil across the room, his hands going up to squeeze his dark locks. God dammit this is too hard to understand! He's been trying to read for an hour now, but he fucking can't. He just can't! He's not sure why but every word looks like it's written in a different language. How is he supposed to study when he can't understand a single thing?!

"Fuck," he mumbles, trying not to cry. So he skipped basketball today to study. Wonderful idea. Yeah, totally going well for him. Now he has eighteen missed calls from Minho, twelve from Jackson, and a million calls and two million texts from his coach. He told them he wouldn't be there, but apparently that's not enough. They need to hear his voice now? Is that it? He told them he was really sick. Since tomorrow's Sunday he'll get off from basketball again. Two days off, that's what he needs. Maybe by the time he comes back he can convince them he's not sick anymore and talk in his normal voice rather than his fake raspy one.

Jimin shakes his thoughts off and tries to focus on his textbook. Still looks foreign. He groans, rolling over and pushing the book off the bed. Is it even worth trying anymore? His grades are slipping like crazy. Not like - failing crazy, but crazy enough that his highest grade is a B minus... in one class. The rest are C's and one D.

He'd be fine with having a couple B's, maybe even a C... but to have them all be C's with one D? Unacceptable. He's had enough of this bullshit. Jimin rests his head on his pillow, taking the pillow from his girlfriend's side and hugging it against his chest. He buries his nose on the top of it and inhales as much of her scent as he can.

God he misses her so much. He's an idiot who fucked up, but it feels like he deserves to be alone. Like he shouldn't be with her, like he shouldn't have friends. Jimin sniffles as he softly cries. What's wrong with him? Why can't he do anything right? Why can't he stop being so stressed and start seeing things clearly? It's like in his stress he's saying and doing things he wouldn't do otherwise. He hates that. He wants it to stop but he's not sure how to stop it.

Jimin lies there for over an hour, not having the motivation to get out of bed. His tears stopped half an hour ago, but that doesn't change how tired he is. He stares at the wall with the pillow still mounted between his arms. He needs her so badly. Why can't she be hom- "Min?" He goes stiffer than he already is. "What are you doing weirdo?" she says with a chuckle. When he doesn't reply, she gets confused. "Min?" she repeats, walking over. She goes to her side and kneels to see him. "Hey... what's wrong?" she gently asks.

"I feel sick," he lies with a pout. "Sick? What's wrong?" "Headache." "Oh babe... did you take medicine?" He nods, "a few minutes ago." She sits on the end of the bed and strokes his hair. "Do you want some water? Some soup maybe?" "No I'm okay, you just got home princess you should relax." "I don't mind making us some soup. Or maybe sandwiches. What do you want Chim?"

"Soup and sandwich," he mumbles against her pillow. She laughs, kissing his forehead, "one soup and one sandwich coming up. Your usual sandwich?" He cutely nods. "Alright. Stay here and I'll be back in a bit." He feels really bad, but at the same time he hasn't eaten all day. Why would he? He didn't eat much this week, he doubts he'll eat much next week either. But for her sake and ease of mind he'll eat at least once a day.

Ten minutes later his girlfriend comes back with a bowl of soup and a sandwich on a plate. Gaining a little bit of motivation, he at least sits up while still holding the pillow. She has a water in her other hand and places it on the nightstand before sitting next to him. "Open wide baby," she coos. Although confused he obeys. She brings a spoonful of soup to her lips and blows on it softly, then places it in his mouth.

He hums in satisfaction at the flavor hitting his tongue. When she pulls the spoon out he instantly misses it and whines. "You're such a baby Chim," she giggles, getting more soup. She brings the spoon to his lips again and he eagerly takes it. The heat makes his brain and heart fill with ecstasy. She's perfect, isn't she?

When she pulls back he stares at her. She eventually meets his gaze, "what?" "I love you," he instantly says. She goes still, then smiles. "I love you too." Yes! They're still in love! He thought for sure he was driving her away (which he totally still is) but at least he has that. He loves her so much, he wishes he could stop letting his stress overtake him.

Jimin pecks her lips, the girl raising a brow at his sudden affection. "You okay?" "Mhm," he chimes, "I just want to show my baby how much I love her." With that she places the plate on the nightstand next to the water. "You're not sick, are you?" "Not at all." She blinks, him nervously laughing. "I uh... u-uh don't be mad?" "What if I want to be mad?" His eyes widen as she creeps closer.

"I'm having a gay... wait no this is straight. Straight panic? Is that a thing? Can that be a thing-" "Min." "Rambling. Right. Sorry." She climbs onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "So... you lied to me, hm?" He gulps, "yeah." She smirks, "we're in for a long, looong night Mr. Park." Finally, some physical attention after what feels like years. He wishes it could last forever, but he knows this is only temporary bliss. It always gets worse before it gets better... and the worst is yet to come.