I hate myself for running from there. It's not like I hate that the most handsome TEACHER and the most POPULAR guy in campus  are interested in me. Still  something in me just doesn't think  it exsits , someone can really love me for long time without leaving me.I lied when I sayed to Katie. A tear drops on dress.I feel like I came sailing a boat.  But I still can't  find my ocean shore. It's like I'm drowning in the ocean. It's suffocating.Only the special blue diary can clam me down. It's not just a diary to me. It means more.I didn't tell my brother that the diary he bought me was desinged by mom. Her name was Mylia but she had her business name change into Ms.M. She just wanted to keep a low profile.I saw her when she desinged this diary and chose it as the diary Chase will buy for me. After she died I had to see a therapist. She told me to write my feelings down on something. I started writing in a diary. But didn't feel better until I started to writing on this diary. I felt like I could see and feel my mom through this diary. She looked just like me but still more pretty , elegant and thoose blue ocean eyes made every man fall  for her.

She used to tell me ,'' Lia you have a dazzling smile ,a pretty face and most important thing a unique and kind personality. Don't ever let someone make you feel like you are not enough. ''. After some time  we moved to LA .One day I came home crying because other kids made fun of my dress. My mom held me up and said ,'' Lia, you are a very special person ,thoose who know you for some time will understand that''. I said while crying ,'' B..b..but mom they say I'm boring and plain''. My mom lifts me up and takes me near the window.

Mom said ,'' Lia honey , YOU ARE LIKE A STAR IN A CLOUDY NIGHT. You don't always show up  in front of everyone, but you are still there covered behind the clouds. Somebody who knows your wroth and understands your specialty will  see and find you more amazing than the moon''. Then I said ,'' Then mom you are the sky, the most beautiful sky''. She laughed and said ,'' Sure sweetie!''. 

I can't help but smile to the memories of my mom. I feel like talking to myself so I just do that ,''Why did she had to die in that car accident ? She saw me as a bright twinkling star. I saw her as a perfect clear sky. She was the only one who understood and found me special. I broke her promise to always think, I'm not average or below average. Even if I'm special , it's no you use when every person you love starts fading from your life. My mom who I loved the most left me, my brother left during the hardest time of my life and dad well he became more and more busy in thoose years and Flynn left me in that time too''.  A voice echos from behind ,'' I was there the whole time ,wasn't I? I'm sure your mom didn't want to leave you too and others also had their reason. So don't think LOVE doesn't exsist . It does! A lot of people love and  you are very special to me and others''.I look behind and see Katie . As soon as we make eye contact she comes running and hugs me. Katie ,'' Don't ever leave without telling me Ly. I was so worried''. I look at her and hug her again. She  pulls away ,'' There are someone waiting for you to make you feel special''.