Chapter 35

It is now the middle of November, the sun is still shining but the temperature has dropped significantly and we’ve had a couple of light snowfalls so far this year. Also, with it being the middle of November, it also means that Carson and I have officially been together for about a month and a half.

On the Saturday of our one month anniversary Carson took me to the sliding hill at the neighbourhood park in the afternoon to go sledding. He also brought his delicious homemade hot chocolate to warm me up. For dinner that night I was only expecting a home cooked meal or something small but he surprised me again by bringing me to a fancy and romantic restaurant downtown. It was so sweet of him and the whole night he was the best boyfriend I could ask for, including when he gave me a necklace with a ‘C’ charm on it.

Also, in case you’re wondering, I haven’t told Carson I’m in love with him yet. I’m just scared that if I tell him he won’t reciprocate my feelings or that he’ll be afraid of commitment and break up with me. If either of those happened, I’d be heartbroken and not know what to do, so I settled for not telling him.

However, there is one problem with keeping it a secret; it’s getting a bit hard to keep the secret. Every time that Carson does something sweet or kisses me I feel like telling him that I love him. That is why I’m getting together with Kylie and Alenna today at a bakery downtown to talk with them about it. I mean, they both have boyfriend, or in Alenna’s case a fiancé, that they’re in love with and I need some love advice.

“I’m going out!” I yelled through my house for the benefit of whoever was home before grabbing my grey pea coat and heading out the door.

Alenna was picking me up today since I didn’t want to hitch a ride from Carson or Jaxon. She pulled up in my driveway and I hopped in the back since Kylie was currently occupying the passenger seat.

As we made our way to the bakery we made slight small talk. “So, how did your parents react when you told them you were engaged?” I asked Alenna.

She turned around at a red light for a second smiling at me. “Well, my dad already knew that Zach was planning to propose because Zach asked for his permission but they kept it a secret from my mom. When she found out I was engaged she went ballistic and was really excited and happy for me. Both my parents love Zach and they are just really happy for us.” she answered.

“That’s really great, you have any plans for the wedding yet?” Kylie asked, leaning back in her seat.

“Not really,” Alenna replied, “I mean, we know that we want a summer wedding so it’s going to be next summer, but other than that there’s not anything else we talked about much.”

Both me and Kylie nodded, accepting her reply while Alenna bumped up the volume of the radio when a Justin Bieber song came on and we were pretty much silent for the remainder of the ride.

When we got to the bakery, we headed straight in because the weather today wasn’t exactly warm in any way, shape or form.

“So, I invited you guys here today so I’m paying; what do you guys want?” I asked them, turning to look at the chalkboard written menu.

“You really don’t have to do that Lex.” Alenna said, while looking at the menu herself.

I shook my head. “I’m paying, no questions about it. So what do you guys want?”

Kylie threw her arms around my shoulders. “Well aren’t you such a good friend? Oh, and I’ll have a vanilla shake and a slice of apple pie.” she answered, before going to find a booth for us to sit in.

I looked at Alenna with an eyebrow raised in question and she sighed. “I’ll have a chocolate iced cappuccino and two double chocolate chip cookies.” she said before going to join Kylie at the booth.

I went up to the counter with the orders in my head. “Hello, and what can I get you today?” the lady at the counter asked.

I smiled at her. “I’ll have a vanilla shake, a chocolate iced cappuccino, a frozen strawberry lemonade, a slice of apple pie, two double chocolate chip cookies and a piece  of chocolate cake.” I replied, remembering my friend’s orders as well as my own.

The lady nodded behind the cash. “That’ll be $19.58.” she said and I handed her a twenty dollar bill from my back pocket.

When my order was ready, I took the tray with the food on it off the counter and headed over to the other side of the bakery to join my friends.

Once we had all started on our food, Kylie started talking. “So, Lexi, why did you ask us to come here today? There has to be some reason, right?” she asked.

I sighed and put my lemonade down on the table. “You guys are both in love right?” I asked.

They looked at each other for a second. “Yeah… why?” Alenna asked me.

“It’s just, I know that I’m in love with Carson but I don’t know how to tell him. I’m scared that if I tell him how I feel that he won’t feel the same way and break up with me. I just got close to him in the last couple months and I really don’t want to lose him, so what should I do?” I asked nobody in particular.

“Well it took me a while to tell Zayn that I even liked him, actually, I didn’t even do that, Zach did. I was too scared that he’d reject me that I didn’t realize that he might reciprocate the feelings. I shouldn’t have been scared in the first place, and neither should you. Anybody could tell you that Carson is head over heels in love with you.” Kylie replied.

Alenna nodded. “Yea, like Kylie said, he’s in love with you. It’s written all over his face and he’s probably got the same problem as you… he’s scared. He loves you but he doesn’t want to be rejected by the girl that he cares so much for. If you tell him you’re in love with him then you’ll feel better and you’ll see that he feels the exact same way.”

I nodded, taking what my friends had told me in. “So, I’m going to Carson’s tonight for dinner… do you think I should tell him tonight?” I asked them.

Alenna nodded. “Yes, I actually think you should. You’ve probably been harbouring these feelings for a while and they’re going to come out eventually. Tonight just tell him and you’ll see he feels the same way. It’s worth the risk girl.”

“I agree with her Lex, you need to tell him.” Kylie inputted.

I nodded. “Okay, I’ll tell him tonight”

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Later that night, I was sitting on the couch with Carson watching television. We weren’t really watching anything in particular, but switching channels  every time a commercial came on.

“So, I’m going to make dinner now. You okay in here, right Cutie?” Carson asked while getting up from the couch.

I smiled up at him. “Yea, I’m fine. Go make dinner sexy.” I replied.

He grinned at me before swooping in to kiss me for a couple of seconds. When he pulled back, he kissed my nose quickly before heading into the kitchen to make dinner.

While sitting on the couch Alenna’s words were replaying in my mind. ‘Tonight just tell him and you’ll see he feels the same same way.’ ‘If you tell him you’re in love with him then you’ll feel better and you’ll see that he feels that exact same way.’ ‘It’s worth the risk girl.’

I took a deep breath and made my decision… I’d tell him.

I got up from the couch and walked as silently as I could into the kitchen where Carson was supposed to be. Sure enough, my sexy boyfriend was there cooking something that smelled absolutely delicious.

I guess I made a little too much noise as I leaned against the doorway because Carson turned around to look at me with a smile. “Hey you, what are you doing in here?” he asked teasingly, wiping his hands on a dish cloth.

I smiled at him. “Can I talk to you about something really quick?” I asked nervously.

Carson looked at me nervously. “Umm yeah, wait one second.” he replied as he turned off the heat on the stove and walked to me. He put his arms around my waist and dragged me back into the living room, sitting us both onto the couch. “What did you want to talk about?”

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes before opening them again and looking straight into Carson’s eyes. “I’m in love with you Carson.” I said confidently with a small smile on my face.

It looked like Carson had frozen for a minute. I was about to ask him if something was wrong when he pushed me onto my back and hovered me on the sofa. “You’re in love with me?” he asked with a huge smile on his face.

I nodded shyly with a smile on my face. “I love you Carson.”

He swooped down and kissed me with so much passion that I thought my heart was going to explode. His lips were soft and inviting and when his tongue touched my lips, begging for me to open for him, I did just that. Our tongues danced with passion and love for a couple minutes before he pulled back slightly.

I could still feel his breath on my face and it felt like home. “I love you too Lex.” he replied.

I grinned back at me before bringing his body back down onto mine.

I knew I loved Carson with all of my heart so when he picked me up and carried me upstairs, I didn’t object, I welcomed the feeling of love and wasn’t afraid about what was too come.

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Well that’s it! Heart Shaped Love is over. The epilogue will up later tonight or early tomorrow but other than that this book is finished.

Epilogue will be posted soon !xx

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