Chapter 21

He shook his hand through his hair and turned to look at me. “Lexi, we need to talk”.

I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about and I didn’t know if I was ready for it.

I gulped before replying. “Um… sure” I said unsteadily, ringing my hands together nervously.

He sighed. “Umm… well, it’s just that, well, umm…. I, well I just don’t know where to start” he said nervously, trying to avoid eye contact.

I sighed as I realized that this was just as awkward and nerve-wracking for him as it was for me. I took a breath and reached over to grab one of his hands in mine. “It’s okay” I said giving him a small smile.

He gave my hand a squeeze before gulping. “I… I just wanted to talk to you about what happened last week, if that’s okay with you” he said rubbing his neck nervously with the hand that I wasn’t holding.

I bit my lip nervously. “Yea… umm, it’s fine” I answered.

He sighed. “Okay, well, umm… I guess I just wanted to ask you if you ever thought about what would’ve happened if my parents hadn’t come home when they did?” he asked nervously.

“Carson, I know what would’ve happened. We would’ve kissed” I said smiling slightly but looking down at my lap.

“Yea” he said shaking his hair out of his face, and sighed.

He was about to continue when I interrupted. “Why did you do it?” I asked him.

He looked like a deer caught in headlights when he heard my question, and that made me all the more anxious for his answer.

“Wh… what?” he stuttered.

I sighed. “I asked you why you almost kissed me that day.”

He squeezed my hand before answering. “Truth?” he asked quietly.

I looked at him for a second and was shocked to see him actually really frightened. The last time I saw him this scared was probably when I was in middle school and it was his first day of high school. He had tried out for the basketball team with Jaxon and he was scared shitless that he wasn’t going to make the team. Him and Jaxon were scared and nervous for the rest of that week, but when they made the team, they went back to being their cocky selves.

I looked into his eyes and nodded, begging him to tell me the truth as to why he wanted to kiss his best friends little sister.

He sighed. “It’s just… over the summer when Kylie was gone and you started hanging out with us, I don’t know, you seemed different to me I guess” he said.

“Wait, different? What?” I said shaking my hand out of his grip because I was thinking that he was trying to insult me.

He gasped in shock and shook his head, grabbing my hand again. “No, no, I didn’t mean that in a bad way Lex. You seemed different in a good way” he said squeezing me hand and smiling and me slightly.

I returned the smile slightly while a small blush made its way onto my face.

“Lex, this summer you became more of a friend to me then you’ve ever been. You’re the only girl I’ve had as a friend since I was in the early years of elementary school. You were cool and just hung out with Jaxon, Zayn and I like it wasn’t a big deal. You didn’t care that you were the only girl; you were fine hanging with the guys” he said, and the blush on my face became a little more noticeable to him, so I hid my face behind my face behind my hair.

He let go of my hand and reached over to sweep my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. “You don’t need to hide your blush Lex” he said in a sweet and caring tone looking me in the eyes – making my blush sky rocket.

I smiled at him. “So you thought of me as one of the guys… that still doesn’t explain to me why you almost kissed me?” I asked a little teasingly.

He turned his head away from me slightly but not before I saw a slight pink colour to his cheeks and I giggled slightly. “Oh my god Carson, I made you blush” I said teasingly while giggling.

“Phst” he said, “no you didn’t”.

“Sure I didn’t, but continue with your story” I said.

He sighed. “Don’t laugh” he said nervously, ringing his hands together

“I won’t” I said squeezing his hand in reassurance.

He gulped. “Okay, well… umm, I guess with you hanging around with us, I just started to feel closer to you, so when school started and we started to hang out more I stopped hanging around all the girls at our school because I figured something out.”

I had a feeling at what he was about to say, but I just wanted to hear what he was going to say. I looked at him through my eyelashes. “But did you realize?” I asked him quietly.

He looked me in the eyes when he said the words that I wanted to hear for the past week, but I think sub-consciously, I wanted to hear them for a while before. “I realized that I had feelings for you Alexandra”.

There were several ways I could have replied to this confession, but I went with an obvious option. I leaned slightly forward and planted my lips on his.

As my lips touched his, fireworks erupted; at least that’s what it felt like to me. It was a sweet and slow kiss and once he got over the shock that I had kissed him, he gladly returned it. The kiss was short and he didn’t try to push it further which I was glad about – this was only my first kiss after all.

I pulled away first and lent back against the couch biting my lip.

Carson opened his eyes and looked at me, making a new blush spread across my cheeks. “Wow” he said.

I chuckled quietly and he started laughing to.

Once we both stopped laughing I looked into his eyes. “I like you too Carson”.

His eyes bulged and his mouth dropped open. “You do?” he asked.

I nodded slowly biting my lip to confirm what I had just said. Suddenly, Carson threw his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his chest giving me a hug while he rested his head a top mine.

After five minutes of just lying there in each other’s arms, Carson let me go and set me down beside him looking nervous.

“What is it Carson?” I asked him nervously, thinking that everything that had just happened was a joke.

He sighed. “It’s just... you know I’ve never had a girlfriend before right?” he asked nervously.

I nodded. “Yea, you’re not into commitment” I said.

“Exactly, but I can really see myself with you” he said, “but I need some more time to come to terms with it”.

“Huh?” I asked confused.

“Well, I didn’t plan on what happened last week because I wanted to have a month or so to come to terms with what was happening. I knew I was starting to look at you in a different way, but I couldn’t understand after years of not being able to look at a girl without the use of a one night stand, I suddenly wanted you to my only girl. I just wanted to wait to see if you felt the same way, then I’d talk to Jaxon about it” he said.

I shook my head confused. “I still don’t get what you’re saying” I told him.

“Well, I was kind of hoping for a couple weeks to get used to the idea of having one girl and treating her the way she should be treated, so I was wondering… and you totally don’t have to agree, actually you should probably walk out of here right now because you deserve somebody better, and nicer, and…” he said, starting to ramble on about non-sense that I really didn’t care about.

I chuckled. “Just tell me Carson” I said.

“Umm… well, I was wondering if we could stay friends for a little bit so I can come to terms on what’s happening and maybe get closer before we go any further. Plus, I don’t want to ask you out before I know for sure that Jaxon doesn’t mind me dating his little sister” he said.

I stared at him in shock. “You really care about me that much?” I asked.

“What?” he said confused, tilting his head to the side.

I started to laugh. “You do know that when you talk to Jaxon he’s going to rip you to threads, best friend or not right? Why do you think I’ve never dated anyone before?” I asked raising an eyebrow.

He sunk back into his couch. “He’s gonna kill me” he moaned helplessly.

“Yeah, Probably” I said giggling quietly.

He looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks” he said in a sarcastic voice.

“Glad to lift your spirits” I said teasingly.

He chuckled quietly shaking his head back and forth. “So wait, you don’t care that I just kissed you and I don’t want a relationship this second?” he asked surprised.

I shook my head. “No, for two reasons; one, you didn’t kiss me, I kissed you and two, I understand what you said and I know that talking to Jaxon means a lot to you since you don’t want to go behind his back and date me. Plus, I kind of agree with you on the point that I didn’t want to talk to you about this for a couple of weeks so I could come to terms with it.”

“Wait, didn’t you know what I was going to say when I said ‘we need to talk’?” he asked me.

I nodded. “Yea, I figured as much” I said shrugging my shoulders. “I just thought you’d say we could be keep being friends, which is basically what you’re saying”.

He grabbed my face in his hands and made me look into his eyes. “That’s not what I want Lex. I want to be with you, I just need a week or so to come to terms with this all. When I am certain that Jaxon won’t shoot me, I will ask you out and you will say yes” he said.

I blushed at his words. “Oh, I’ll say yes?” I asked teasingly raising an eyebrow.

“Of course, you’ll say yes, I mean… look at me” he said gesturing to his face and body.

“I don’t see much player” I said teasingly, waving my hand dismissively.

“Sure, you don’t” he said with his usual cocky attitude.

“Anyways, can we turn the TV back on because I think ’Pretty Little Liars’ is starting?” I asked.

“Yeah, whatever you want Cutie” he replied, grabbing the remote and turning the television to the channel I wanted.

“By the way, you don’t need to change Carson. I like you just the way you are” I said.

He turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow sceptically. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“You just did what I said. Sure, it was cute, but I like the way you tease me and trick me. You don’t need to always do what I say just because you like me” I replied.

“Okay, you are definitely the best girl I have ever met” he said hugging me to his side laughing.

I joined in with his laughing because I found it funny that he thought I would make him change.

After we stopped laughing and ’Pretty Little Liars’ came on, I settled into Carson’s side, relaxing next to the guy I could easily see myself falling for.

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So, they finally kissed, but they aren't together ! Please comment to tell me what you thought of this chapter ! I’d appreciate it.

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