8 ◇ what you fear most in the world


THE NEXT WEEKS WENT BY slowly and uneventfully. September faded away into early October, the warm summer air cooling into the crisp chill of autumn. Robyn's wardrobe saw a similar change with the coming of the new season. T-shirts and sneakers traded themselves for flannels, sweaters, and boots. Her favorite red jumper made its debut reappearance after being packed away throughout the hot summer, to which Fred made his yearly "Cheery Cherry Robbie" comment upon seeing it again.

     Robyn had descended the stairs from the girls' dormitories that morning, the over-sized red jumper wrapped tightly around her shoulders. The others had already gathered down in the common room and were seated around the fireplace, waiting for Robyn. George and Lisa had been sitting side by side, one of George's arms looped around Lisa's shoulder, the other hand intertwined with hers. Fred had been slumped in a chair next to them, fiddling with a deck of playing cards. Flynn had perched on the arm of Fred's chair, staring curiously across the room at Oliver Wood, a seventh year and the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, who had been speaking animatedly with several of his friends.

     "Why are you looking at Oliver like he's some sort of anomaly?" Robyn had joked, poking Flynn in the arm to break her from her intent gaze.

     "I just don't get what Rose sees in him," Flynn had said quietly, shaking her head. "He's just so...Oliver."

     "Well, maybe being Oliver is just what Rose wants," Robyn had responded, running her fingers through her tousled mane of brown hair, pulling it up into a haphazard ponytail on the back of her head.

     "Good morning," Fred had interrupted. "I see the Cheery Cherry Robbie has emerged once again from her summer hibernation." His face had split into a wide smile as he pulled on the bottom of her jumper, to which Robyn had smacked his hand away.

     "I will never understand you, and stop calling me Robbie," she had shot back, though she had sprouted a small smile of her own. The absurd nickname wasn't too out-of-place, if Robyn was being honest. The red jumper was her prized possession; she did always feel happier when she wore it. The 'Robbie' part, however, she could live without.

     The morning of October thirteenth, Robyn woke up far too early. Rubbing at her sleepy eyes, she slowly sat up in bed, letting out a giant yawn. She stretched her arms out before shrinking them out of the cold air of the room and back under the warm, red comforter and beige sheets. Looking around the dark room, she quickly noticed that the only other disturbed bed was Lisa's. She could clearly see Flynn's restless form shifting back and forth in her bed from across the room. Flynn hadn't been able to sleep well since term started back.

     But the covers where Lisa usually slept were gathered at the foot of the bed and it was left vacant in the dark, early morning.

     Robyn slowly and quietly rolled out of bed, padding across the cold floor in bare feet, careful not to wake any of the other sleeping fifth years. She grabbed her red jumper from where it was tossed on the end of the bed and pulled her arms through it, wrapping it securely around her shoulders. Slipping from the room as silently as she could, she tiptoed down the stairs to the common room.

     The dim, flickering light of the fireplace lit up the room with warm amber, and that's where Robyn found Lisa, curled up next to the fire, sniffling and rubbing at her eyes. She donned her typical blue-and-purple pajamas, but had wrapped herself up in a thin, brown blanket. Her jet black hair was thrown up into a careless bun on the top of her head. It looked as though she hadn't slept at all.

     Robyn glanced up at the clock on the wall above the mantle. The hands on the enchanted clock read 4:34, or otherwise known as, way too fucking early in the morning.

     She walked down the staircase, slowly approaching her friend before sitting down across from her on the floor, crossing her legs beneath her.

     "Hey, what's going on? It's really early, are you okay?" She asked calmly, her voice barely above a whisper.

     At the silent shake of Lisa's head, Robyn shifted on the floor to where she was next to her, and Lisa moved to rest her head on Robyn's shoulder. She sniffled again, raising her hand to wipe the fresh tears from her eyes.

     "I'm just worried about him," Lisa said quietly, her voice broken and uneven. "I don't think he understands how much danger he's in. He's the only family I have left, Robyn."

     Robyn immediately knew who she was talking about. Harry, as Lisa's cousin, was the only other Potter left. Both Lisa's and Harry's parents had died the night You-Know-Who was defeated. Lily and James Potter were targets of You-Know-Who, and Michael Roberts and Alisa Potter just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. All four of them died defending little baby Harry, leaving him and Lisa as orphans. The two lost contact until Harry came to Hogwarts, and Robyn knew that Lisa felt incredibly guilty that she hadn't tried harder to watch after her little cousin and felt personally responsible for him.

     "He'll be fine," said Robyn, wrapping a comforting arm around her friend's shoulder. "He's here with us at Hogwarts. He's safe here."

     Lisa shook her head again, and from underneath her blanket she pulled out yesterday's copy of the Daily Prophet. "Sirius Black was just spotted nearby. It was in the evening paper last night." In fact, there it was, scrawled across the front page in the usual headlining letters:

     Robyn sucked in a deep breath. "That's the next town over from Hogsmeade. That's only a few miles from here."

     Lisa nodded, tossing the paper into the fire, watching it crackle and pop and burn away into ash. "And all Harry's been talking about lately is wanting to go to Hogsmeade this Halloween. It's not safe for him if he goes. I'm just so worried, I don't want Black to get him. And I know Flynn isn't going to be happy knowing her father's nearby. Have you noticed every time he's mentioned, she gets all moody and upset? I don't like seeing her like that. And it'll only get worse once she finds out he's close."

     Lisa couldn't be more right. Flynn had been grumpy, well, grumpier than usual, what with all the talk about her father, and her restlessness at night was due to her constant fear of her father showing up to kill her. She believed that if she was asleep, she was vulnerable. And with the news of Black on the move, Flynn was losing more and more sleep every night. It was even beginning to worry Fred and George.

     Robyn wrapped her arms tightly around Lisa, who nestled in to rest her head on Robyn's chest. "Everything's going to be alright, I promise. If Dumbledore and McGonagall think it's not safe for Harry to go to Hogsmeade, they won't let him. Trust Dumbledore."

     Lisa nodded silently, and Robyn rested her head on top of her friend's. She closed her eyes, letting the feeling of comfort settle in to envelop the two. No matter how cynical Robyn was, seeing one of her closest friends panicked and afraid brought out her caring and gentle side. Especially since it was Lisa.

◇◇◇

ROBYN MUST'VE FALLEN ASLEEP, for the next thing she knew, she was surrounded by her other friends, who were poking and prodding at them, loudly telling her to wake up.

     "What the hell?" Robyn muttered, scratching at the back of her neck as she sat up. The brown blanket Lisa had been wrapped in was now draped over her lap, and she was sprawled out on the sofa instead of on the floor by the fireplace.

     "You refused to wake up this morning," Flynn said, laughing sharply, "so Fred put you on the sofa so you wouldn't accidentally roll into the fire and kill yourself. McGonagall's pissed you skipped Transfiguration, though, so you might be dead soon anyways."

     "Better hurry up and get ready so you can have your last lunch with us," George joked, wiping a fake tear from his cheek.

     "It's been nice knowing you, Robbie," Fred agreed, clapping a hand on his twin's shoulder as if to steady himself from the grief.

     Robyn groaned, standing up from the sofa, letting the blanket fall to the ground beneath her. "You two are such morons. I'll be back." She raced over to the stairs up to the girls' dormitories, taking them two steps at a time as she hurried up to the fifth year's dorm.

     Throwing open the door with a slam against the wall behind it, Robyn rushed over to her trunk at the foot of her bed, grabbing her Gryffindor robes. She changed as quickly as possible, yanking her arms through the sleeves of her robes.

     Slinging her bookbag over her shoulder, Robyn ran back down the stairs, swinging around the corner to face her friends before grabbing Flynn by the hand and pulling her through the portrait hole and out of the Gryffindor common room, the rest of the group trailing behind.

     When they finally made it into the Great Hall for lunch, the tables were packed full of students talking avidly about their days, the combination of their voices melting together into a dull roar. The staff sat up at their usual table in the front, and Robyn looked up to immediately meet the eyes of Professor McGonagall through her square spectacles. She looked both frustrated and disappointed, and her thin lips were pursed together disappointedly. Robyn let out a defeated sigh, lowering her eyes away to look at the Gryffindor table in front of her. She'd definitely be facing a detention later.

     The group made their way down the table where they found Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting together, talking quietly among themselves, as usual. Harry was tapping his wand absentmindedly against the table while Hermione spoke, and Ron was in the middle of devouring a glazed chicken breast. Lisa sat next to her little cousin, ruffling his already messy black hair affectionately.

     "How're you doing, Harry?" Robyn said, circling around to sit on the opposite side of the table in between Hermione and Flynn. George sat next to Lisa, and Fred next to him, as usual. 

     Harry shrugged, swatting Lisa's hand away with his own, smiling. "I'm alright, I guess. McGonagall won't let me go to Hogsmeade on Halloween because my Uncle Vernon never signed the permission slip, so I'm stuck here..." He trailed off, glancing down the table at some of his other third-year friends, who were engaged in an avid conversation about their Hogsmeade plans. Harry sighed, his smile dropping from his face.

     From across the table, Lisa shot Robyn a look of relief. Robyn subtly smiled back, knowing how much it eased Lisa knowing that Harry would remain safe inside Hogwarts's walls. Since they'd arrived at Hogwarts, the professors assured both Robyn and Lisa that they will watch out for Harry. Somehow they all knew of the minister's request for Robyn to look after Harry, and they all told Robyn not to worry about him any longer. It was her job to keep up with her studies, not with the safety of another human life.

     Even so, they quickly dug into their food, eager to get to their next class, Defence Against the Dark Arts. Professor Lupin was by far the best Defence Against the Dark Arts professor they'd ever had, far surpassing their previous years', such as Professor Quirrell and, God forbid, Professor Lockhart. That airhead wouldn't even be able to tell the difference between a Doxy and a toothpick. 

     While Robyn was indulging in a particularly good slice of treacle tart, she saw a flash of yellow out of the corner of her eye and a familiarly loud, obnoxious giggle echo out throughout the Great Hall.

     "How was your morning, Freddie?" None other than Jackie Bradley chirped happily, planting a kiss on Fred's lips before sitting down on his lap, pushing George over to make room. Fred grinned back at her, snaking an arm around her waist. Robyn looked to meet Flynn's eyes next to her, and the two of them rolled their eyes in unison, Flynn huffing in frustration. Every day Jackie found a way over to Fred at the Gryffindor table, and every day Robyn and Flynn continued to silently protest her presence. 

     Today, however, their silence ended.

     "Every day, you two huff and complain when Jackie comes over here. What is your problem with her?" Fred snapped, getting suddenly unusually serious. Robyn let out a long sigh. She knew this was eventually going to happen; she just never knew how to respond to it.

     "She's an over-excited, fake bitch," Flynn unwaveringly shot back, her eyes cold and leveled. Robyn knew that Flynn kept her focus trained on one thing to keep herself from letting her temper get the best of her, but it still frequently led to harsh words and hurt feelings.

     "Jackie, you're just really overbearing," Robyn said bluntly, partly in an effort to save Flynn's ass, and partly to show the never-ending smile of a Hufflepuff that not everyone loved and adored her like she thought they did, just without being as rude as Flynn.

     Jackie bit her lip, a look of saddened confusion across her face. Her dark, curled hair sat limply on her shoulders as she spun to hop off of Fred's lap, running from the Great Hall with her hands over her face.

     "What the hell?" said Fred, a rare look of anger in his brown eyes, which just infuriated Robyn even more. The fact he was so defensive about her, this girl who wasn't even supposed to last beyond a mere summer fling, dug under her skin. She didn't fit with the rest of them. They were sarcastic and humorous, and she was a gossip. They clashed too much, and it really bothered Robyn that Fred took such a liking to Jackie.

     With an aggravated grunt in response to Robyn and Flynn's silence, Fred shook his head before standing up, following Jackie out the door. Robyn glanced over at Flynn, who shared her same dejected, bitter look. They'd never seen Fred that angry before, and he was upset over something as ridiculous as Jackie Bradley.

     "You two are going to get your asses handed to you one day because of your honesty, you know that?" George snidely joked, breaking the tense silence that had settled within the group. 

     "There really was probably a better way you could have handled that," Hermione added matter-of-factly, before turning back to the copy of Hogwarts: A History she had folded out on the table.

  ◇◇◇  

ROBYN FILED INTO the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom with all the other Gryffindors, Slytherins, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws, following Professor Lupin to where he stood next to a shaking wardrobe. He had called each of the Houses to a seminar style of lesson, so all of the fifth-year students found themselves crammed into the small classroom. Lupin's robes were particularly more disheveled than they had been since term started, and the bags under his eyes were darker and more pronounced, his brown hair messier and shaggier than usual.

     "I still think you look like him," Flynn commented quietly from where she stood next to Robyn. Robyn shot her friend a stern glare in efforts to shut her up as Lupin began his lesson.

     "Hello, class, I hope you all had a wonderful lunch, and I know your stomachs are full but we can't let that deter us from today's lesson," Professor Lupin began, his voice showing quite a bit of strain as he spoke. "Now, looking back on the curricula of previous professors in this position, it was very quickly made clear to me how lacking your education has been in this subject. I taught this lesson to my third years a few days ago, but I thought this might be a good opportunity to teach you all as well how to defend against this 'non-being.' Speaking of which, does anyone have an idea as to what this might be?"

     A green-lined sleeve lazily raised itself into the air from across the room. Professor Lupin nodded in its direction. "Yes, Rheinallt?"

     The dark-haired Slytherin raised his eyes from the floor to meet the professor's, whose eyebrows were raised expectantly. "It's a boggart," said Rheinallt, his voice monotone and oozing boredom.

     Professor Lupin nodded. "And what exactly is a boggart?"

     At that, Robyn raised her hand in the air, determined to answer a question as well.

     "Yes, Robyn?"

     "A boggart is a shape-shifter," Robyn said confidently. She'd learned enough about them through the books she read over the summer, shut away in her room to avoid her parents. "They take the form of your greatest fear. No one knows what they look like when they're alone."

     Professor Lupin smiled, impressed. "That is exactly correct, Robyn. The boggart sitting in the darkness within this wardrobe has not assumed a form yet, but I let him out, he will immediately become whatever each of us most fears."

     "However," he continued, even as Lisa gave a small squeak of fright, "this means we have a huge advantage over the boggart before we even begin. Does anyone know why? Fred? George?"

     "There are too many of us-" Fred began, a smirk sliding up his face.

     "-so it won't know which form to take," finished George.

     "Precisely," said Professor Lupin, to which the twins grinned at each other proudly. "It's always ideal to have company when dealing with a boggart. It becomes confused. Which should it become, a headless corpse or a flesh-eating slug? I saw a boggart make that exact mistake once - turned himself into half a slug trying to frighten two people at once. Not remotely frightening.

     "The charm that repels a boggart is quite simple; however, it requires diligence. The thing that really finishes a boggart is laughter. What you'll need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing.

     "To do this, I'll teach you a charm. We'll practice it without wands first. After me, please. Riddikulus."

     "Riddikulus!" the body of Gryffindors and Slytherins repeated back at him.

     "Very good," Professor Lupin said. "But that was the easy part. See, the spell is not enough on its own. Now, can I have a volunteer?"

     The class stood in an awkward silence for several seconds, before out of the corner of her eye, Robyn saw an arm hesitantly raise into the air.

     "I'll volunteer, Professor," Flynn's voice called out, her voice collected and assertive.

     "Thank you very much, Flynn," said Professor Lupin, and Flynn made her way to the front of the class, where she stood facing the wardrobe, her back to the rest of the class. She held her wand to her side, ready for whatever she had to face. Robyn always admired that courage that Flynn seemed to wield effortlessly.

     "Now, first things first: what would you say is the thing that frightens you most in the world, Flynn?" Professor Lupin asked kindly.

     Flynn stood in silence for a few moments before her face went white.

     "Sirius Black," she muttered, and the room erupted into nervous, accusatory whispers. Professor Lupin himself even paled at the name. Lisa nudged Robyn, and when she turned to look at her, gave her a worried glance.

     "Alright, settle down, settle down," said Professor Lupin after several seconds, and the room diminished into silence once again. "Now, Flynn, you said Sirius Black...tell me, what's your favorite animal?"

     Flynn furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "A monkey?" She replied, though it sounded more like a question than an answer.

     "Perfect," Professor Lupin continued. "When I open this wardrobe, the boggart will assume the form of Sirius Black. What I want you to do, Flynn, is raise your wand - as so - and cry 'Riddikulus' - and concentrate hard on your favorite animal. If all goes well - and I'm sure it will, I have the utmost confidence in you - Boggart Sirius Black will be transformed into a monkey."

     The room gave out a roar of laughter, and the wardrobe shook violently.

     "If Flynn is successful, the boggart will likely shift its attention to each of us in turn," Professor Lupin said, this time to the whole class. "I would like all of you to take a moment now and think of the thing that scares you the most. Then, imagine how you might force it to look comical."

     As the room settled into silence, Robyn thought hard on what her greatest fear might be. The one thing that came to mind was helplessness. She hated that awful feeling of being unable to change the circumstances around her...but how could a boggart embody something that doesn't have a physical form?

     "Everyone ready?" said Professor Lupin.

     Everyone around Robyn was rolling up their sleeves, nodding in excitement, but Robyn still stood there in contemplation. How would the boggart fight against her? She didn't have a typical fear of snakes or spiders or vampires.

     "Alright, Flynn, we're going to back away, leave you some room," Professor Lupin instructed, and the room followed him, retreating to back against the walls on the opposite end of the room. "I'll call the next person forward once she's had her turn."

     Flynn stood confidently alone in the center of the room, her sleeves pulled up, wand at the ready. 

     "On the count of three, Flynn," said Professor Lupin, who held his own wand, pointing it at the handle of the wardrobe. "One...two...three!"

     The wardrobe door burst open, and the menacing, growling form of Sirius Black, not unlike how he looked in the wanted posters, stepped from the wardrobe. His tired eyes flashed crazily at Flynn, who stood her ground fiercely.

     "Riddikulus!" She cried, and with a noise like a whip crack, Boggart Sirius Black was suddenly a dancing monkey, screeching and howling as he hopped around on the floor.

     The class laughed from the back of the room. The boggart-monkey paused, confused, and Professor Lupin shouted, "Robyn! Forward!"

     Robyn started forwards as Flynn backed away, a grin set wide on her face. The two nodded at each other, Robyn's in pride towards her friend's success, and Flynn's in encouragement. Robyn swallowed nervously as the boggart turned to her.

     With another crack, the monkey shifted into the form of Rose Figg, her head bowed, a deep-set frown on her face.

     "You can't help me," She said, her voice filled with sorrow. "There's nothing you can do."

     Robyn flinched. This wasn't what she had in mind at all. How the boggart managed to look into her mind that far...see one of her closest friends and use that against her...

     "Riddikulus!" She cried, but when the crack sounded out, Boggart Rose was merely replaced with Fred, whose sullen face reminded her all too well of his expression on the Hogwarts Express after the dementor attacked. He looked as though there was no happiness left in the world.

     Robyn sucked in a deep breath, focusing all her energy on the laughter the group frequently shared. "Riddikulus!" She cried one more time, and the boggart shifted into George laughing, throwing a Zonko's joke product at Boggart Fred's back.

     "Excellent!" Professor Lupin shouted from the back of room over the laughter, "Flora, next!" A brunette Ravenclaw emerged from the crowd to take Robyn's place as she retreated back to her friends in the corner of the room.

     One by one, each student approached the boggart, and one by one, the boggart shifted into one fear after the next. Eventually, Lisa was called up to face the boggart herself, and she stepped forwards to the creature as if with ease, though the look of terror on her face spoke otherwise.

     The boggart looked at her before yet another crack sounded out, and this time, it was Harry Potter's body lying on the ground, surrounded in a pool of blood. Lisa let out a loud shriek and jumped back in fright. Robyn moved to run forward, but Flynn held her back, shaking her head. This was Lisa's challenge.

     But Lisa wasn't making a move to fight the boggart. She simply stood in tears, her wand pointed shakily towards the body of her little cousin.

     Professor Lupin began to step forwards when a body ran out from the crowd of Slytherins to stand in front of Lisa, and the boggart shifted from the body of Harry Potter into Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, who stood tall and unnaturally foreboding, his usually kind, gentle eyes cold behind his half-moon spectacles.

     Lisa shrank away as Rheinallt shouted, "Riddikulus!" And with a final crack, Boggart Professor Dumbledore shifted to where he was now seated upon a lion, wearing a space suit. The class let out a loud roar of laughter, and the boggart exploded, bursting into wisps of smoke before vanishing altogether.

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