It's been a couple of days since anyone has seen or heard from you. Jake and Neytiri were sick with worry. Neytiri was informed about everything along with Jake. She thought that Y/N may have needed space even though part of her wanted to go and find her. However, Jake chose to ignore everyone who told him to give her space. Fuck that. Space is not what she needs.

"NO! I cannot ignore this. We always leave her behind. She has made so many sacrifices for us, for this clan, for a bunch of Na'vi who didn't want her, didn't want us." He was pacing back and forth talking with Neytiri aware of his kids listening but, he didn't care. They had the right to worry as much as anyone else, especially Spider. Spider called her mom first, since she was the one who taught him how to use a bow, and how to swim, recorded his height, made sure he ate and slept and was safe, and would play with him. She did everything a mother would do.

"I understand ma, Jake." He stopped his pacing to squat and stare at Neytiri who continued to speak "We have...not treated her well. We have failed her. Ronal and Tonowari have failed her. The Metkayina clan has failed her... She is always so strong, always has been, and always will be but, there is so much only one person can take." Jake nodded in agreement.

"That's why we need to find her. We have to talk to her. Let her yell, scream, hit, and cuss at us. She can do anything she wants to us. If anyone deserves to be seen and heard it's her. She's always seen us, she's always seen the people, when was the last time someone has seen her? When was the last time we checked on her? She always makes sure everyone is taken care of, but who is taking care of her?" He was horrendously worried about you. The kids haven't seen you, and he tried having Bob talk to your Ikran who was just as clueless and worried about your whereabouts as everyone else. When he was informed by Neytiri and Tonowari about what happened to her he felt his heart clench. He was a moron on a good day but, even he knew how much you wanted kids. He was not blind to the longing looks you would give to families, to mothers, to him and Neytiri. Everyone always got what they wanted but, you.

"Where would we even look? She can be anywhere." That was true and Jake was tired of guessing he just wanted to go, he needed someone to come with him though. He knew exactly who.

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Tonowari was absolutely sick with worry, he knew it was bad for Y/N, he knew it and he had tried to mediate everything and he thought with Ranari everything was going to be okay. He should have known.

"There was no way for you to know everything Wari. You try the best you can." Ronal was comforting him to the best of her ability even though she knew Y/N deserved better, she knew that you didn't deserve any of the bashing and treatment that you did. She herself still didn't have the courage to talk with you, maybe now that she is no longer pregnant she can talk with you. Tell you how sorry she truly was and everything she said and did was out of unwarranted anger. She will understand if you choose not to forgive her. No one should blame you for the way your feelings have been pushed aside so much.

"It feels like I should have done more. We should have done more. Why didn't we? Why and when did we decide she was to blame for everything when all she ever did was help and love? Why didn't we try harder to understand her? To see her." He had so much guilt in his heart that it was physically and mentally draining him. He had to talk to you. He needed to talk to you. He looked over to his mate and their newborn contemplating for a few seconds before she gave him a kind smile

"Go ahead, my love. We will be fine." He gave her a grateful smile, the love for his family taking over all other feelings in his heart momentarily. Reaching out to caress her face, he exited the Marui only to bump into Jake. "Jake?" He gave him a hasty greeting which was returned.

"I need you to come with me to find Y/N."

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You were furiously stabbing into the bark, carving out nonsensical lines, anything to try to help the turmoil sitting heavy on your chest and the loud voices in your head. It was all too much and you thought disappearing for a few days would help bring some peace and clarity to you but, the opposite happened. You felt yourself spiraling more and more everything that has happened to you from verbal, and mental to physical since you set foot on this island a year ago finally came to a head and tumbled over. You couldn't handle it anymore. You were strong for too long and it broke, you finally broke.

"Stupid Metkayina, stupid fucking fish people. They think it's so easy to adapt. I would love to see them live in the fucking forest with their big arms, tails, and stupid webbed feet. Slippery eel mother fuckers." You were angry at the Metkayina who treated you like shit and Ronal. "Stupid Tsahik bitch." You screamed kicking, punching, and hitting everything in sight while yelling out whatever was in your head unaware of two navi who heard everything you were saying loud and clear unsure how to approach you.

"Spider was right about where she might be." Jake had asked Spider where does he think Y/N would be whenever she was upset and he had called her sa'nuk to the surprise of Tonowari but, the Sullys were used to it and didn't blink an eye when he said the tallest trees with yovo fruit on them.

"He loves her Tonowari you should know that. She is his mother. Of course, he would want to know everything about her." The two of them were a few yards away from her as she screamed, and yelled until she just collapsed in a heap on the floor sobbing. Jake felt himself faltering not wanting to impose on such a private moment but, that's not what he came out here for. He needed to fix this, they needed to fix this. Signaling for Tonowari to follow the two men moved closer so focused on you that Tonowari stepped on a branch.

"WHO'S THERE!?" You whirled around looking for them and when your eyes fell on them, time seemed to have frozen. You stared at them as if they weren't real while they took in your disheveled appearance. Tears poured like a waterfall from your swollen eyes, you had irritated scratch marks along your legs and arms that were still bleeding in some places. You looked like a caged animal and if they didn't want you to bolt they had to be really careful with their words and movements. "Why are you two here? Aren't you Olo'eyktan, don't you have to take care of your precious Ronal? You know new baby and everything?" You were pacing back and forth never losing sight of either one of them. "How about you Toruk makto? You have a whole family, a mate, children, and ways to better yourself as you claim. What the FUCK are you doing out here?" You were impatiently waiting for an answer from either of the men.

"You've been missing for a couple of days." Your tail was thrashing wildly behind you, your tears never quite stopping. Why do they care if you went missing? Jake is lucky that you have such a soft spot for him and he knew it. He was the reason you didn't bolt instantly at the sight of them.

"I was worried." You whirled on Tonowari with a snarl pointing an accusing finger at him ignoring the way your heart tugged when he flinched and his ears pinned back.

"You were worried. Bull fucking shit. You were worried that the big, bad blue demon, the fake Na'vi who has brought nothing but war and despair amongst your people was going to do something. The monster shouldn't know anything, the five-fingered freak that's fat, weird, and ugly shouldn't even have a mate or a family let alone the right to live. That's the one you're claiming to have been worried about." Your chest was rising rapidly as you took uneven pants and took a step back when they stepped forward. Jake was determined and took a couple more steps this time giving Tonowari the courage to follow suit. Jake was confused, worried, and angry at the words that escaped your mouth.

"Who says those things to you?" Jake knew he had a snarl on his face but, was taken aback when a guttural growl escaped your lips, with a wild look in your eyes as your rage was directed towards him now. He knew it was coming but, it still caught him off guard.

"EVERYONE DOES!" You were quite tired of them not getting the picture, not understanding the struggles that you went through, tired of them always making it about themselves. "Yes, Jake of course you know how it is to not be accepted because of your appearance. Of course, we have similar experiences but, the similarities END there." You took a step forward not realizing you did in your rage. "WHO MADE A FAMILY JAKE? WHO MANAGED TO MATE WITH THE OMATICAYA PRINCESS JAKE? WHO SAVED HOMETREE JAKE? WHO GOT CROWNED OLO'EYKTAN JAKE? WHO IS TORUK MAKTO JAKE? WHO LED THE WAR AND WON JAKE?" You don't even know where your anger started and where it ended but, now that you started you needed to let it out. "ONCE YOU COMPLETED SOOO MUCH NO ONE MENTIONED HOW YOU USED TO BE A SKY DEMON, NO ONE MENTIONED HOW YOU DIDN'T BELONG, ALL THE NEGATIVITY STOPPED AROUND YOU BUT, THEY NEVER STOPPED FOR ME!" You were shuffling side to side now. "EVERY FUCKING DAY I HAD TO HEAR ABOUT HOW I WILL NEVER BE NAVI, I SHOULD HAVE GONE BACK TO MY DYING PLANET, HOW FAT I AM, HOW I WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING WORTH A DAMN, I DON'T BELONG, I WILL NEVER HAVE A FAMILY, NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME. IT WAS SICKENING ALREADY!" You took a deep steadying breath choking a bit from screaming, almost frothing at the mouth from rage "I ALSO never knew fucking peace, everyone and their mother wanted to fight me for whatever God damn reason." You were exhausted but determined to say more. You really should have eaten and had water the last couple of days. All that crying dehydrated you.

Tonowari and Jake can only watch with their ears pinned back, wanting to hug you and squeeze you until you understood just how wrong you were about everything. You are loved, you are cared for, and you are Navi but, they refused to say anything until you were done. You were interrupted one too many times.

"That's why I thought If I explore and go to different clans I can find somewhere I belong but, nooooo. It was so fucking hard. My God, no matter where I went I was an outcast so I accepted that. I've accepted that, I just wanted to love Pandora, I wanted to learn new cultures, meet new Navi, and make connections that's all I wanted. I did make connections, and I've met some amazing people who I care about so much but, it wasn't the same. I was looking for anyone, someone as a replacement but, it never worked. I ended up finding soulmates which were great and all it truly is but, damn I did all of this to get over the love I have for you and Neytiri. I hated seeing the two of you grow, seeing the way you two love each other, make a family knowing that was something I wanted with the two of you for fuck's sake." You bent down now pressing your face to the ground harshly with a growl before sitting back up. "I am so damn tired Jake. 17 years on this fucking planet and I still don't belong. Yes, the children make it worth being here they always have and always will, the soulmates I met over the years made it worth it as well but, it's so hard when you're not sure the ones you truly want, the ones you want to mate with and make a family with want you back." The fight left you, you were done. You were so tired. You were drained. "I'm done. I want to be complimented, I want to be loved, I want to be seen." You fell flat on your back throwing an arm over your eyes. You were crying now, silent sobs escaping your lips.

Jake sat for one second before bolting towards you and bringing you up into a crushing hug. It was tight, both arms wrapped around you in a vice grip as if you would disappear if he let you go. Your head was on his shoulder and turned to Tonowari looking at him as he hovered unsure what to do and where to put his hands.

"Tonowari." His ears perked up as you addressed him. "It is not really you I am upset and angry with. It is Ronal. I am upset that you did nothing while she attacked me. I hate that she blamed me for things out of my control. I hate that I allowed the two of you in my heart and she cast me away as if I was nothing and you stood there and watched."

He flinched at the vacant look on your face. You seemed defeated and that was not the strong Y/N he fell in love with. He can admit that he was in love with you, and has been for a while. He acknowledged that love when you died saving his children, his children. You protected his home and his family and for the first time in a long time, he had cried with Ronal as if he lost a piece of him. In a sense, he did that day. "You knew she was wrong, regardless that she is Tsahik, it is not my fault that the sky people came. You guys were so sweet with me and I thought I made a connection with you two, I truly thought you guys would see me but, then a whole personality switch happened and I was treated like garbage. She hurt me in front of everyone and she didn't even say sorry. I see the guilt she harbors but, it's not enough. I deserve a verbal apology, to talk with her. Then you guys left me while you went to fight knowing I love children."

"That was all my doing." You twitched an ear at Jake who you still haven't hugged back but, you were leaning into his hold. "I was bitter, angry that Ronal treated you the way she did, she embarrassed you when you have been nothing but kind. I left you because if she was so great and powerful she didn't need your help getting her children back. You didn't need to fight in a war for people who didn't care about you." You froze looking at Tonowari's reaction but, noticing no surprise you figured at one point in time Jake had told both him and Ronal how he feels about the whole thing.

"We have failed you." Your eyes never left Tonowari as he got closer raising a hand to gently press against your face. When you made no movement he pressed more firmly running his thumb under your eye to collect leftover tears. "The Metkayina, Ma Ronal, me." he looked anguished as he leaned forward pressing his forehead to yours. "I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. My soul. I am sorry. There will never be enough words to truly convey the guilt I feel. All I can promise is I will make it up to you. No more childish games. No more lying to you or myself. I will be someone you can love and depend on." All this time Jake has not let up on his hold on you. Your eyes were closed taking in both of their scents, their peace. You knew more talks would need to happen in the future, you knew more stuff could come up but, if they are willing to listen to you as much as you listen to them everything will be okay.

"I love you ma Y/N." You jolted, opening your eyes and feeling yourself being pulled to face Jake who was crying. Jake never cries, he only cried when his children were born and when he had told the truth about the RDA all those years ago. He shouldn't be crying now. "Don't tell me why I shouldn't be crying. I hurt you. Don't you get it? I made you think I don't care about you, I made you think you're not worthy when none of that is true. I've loved you, I do love you. I always loved you. Those dates we used to go on together? Those late-night Ikran rides, when I would go hunt for you, I would do your hair, make your clothes and bows, knives, and arrows? When I checked up on you whenever I saw you upset, sad, and angry? I did all of those things because I love you. I love you Y/N. I love you. Oel ngati kameie, nga yawne lu oer." He was squeezing you, using a hand to hold your face so you can't look away. He needed you to understand, he needed you to see how deep his love and adoration for you went. He wanted and needed you to see how much he would love to have a family with you. Your only answer was to sob and he pressed a feverish kiss to your lips trying to convey everything he couldn't put into words into the kiss.

"Oel ngati kameie Y/N." You pulled away from the kiss aware finally of a pair of hands sitting at your waist and a thick tail curled around your frame. You turned your head a bit away from Jake to catch Tonowari's eyes. You've always seen that look in his eyes whenever he looked at Ronal and a few times you had convinced yourself he was giving you the same look. This time you didn't have to convince yourself, you can see it. He was looking at you with love, adoration, care, and gentleness. Something you've always wanted to feel from Jake, Neytiri, Ronal, and him. The way Ranari cared and loved you was something you wanted from them as well. You love Ranari but, you love them just as much. As Tonowari leaned down towards your lips, a small part of you wanted to fight, wanted to not give in, wanted to make them fight for it more but, you were drained. You were so tired of fighting, fighting for love, fighting for recognition, fighting to be seen. Why would you stop it now? You finally talked and explained how you felt and you were getting what you wanted. You'll worry about the other conversations later, right now all you wanted was to enjoy the feel of his webbed hands on your waist and his soft lips on yours. His touch was gentle but, firm, filled with sincerity.

"You are loved Y/N. I don't care what I got to do to prove that I love you but, I will. Neytiri will agree with me on whatever when it comes to you. Don't think I didn't see you when you two kissed. She loves you Y/N. She loves you the way she loves me. We love you, the way we love each other." Jake was determined to prove to you with actions and words and when Tonowari pulled away and they shared a look over your head, squished between the both of them he knew the Metkayina leader was in agreement. They weren't going to hide anymore. They were going to love you the way they should have.

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This chapter was definitely something and the next chapter is going to be emotional with Ronal. I can't wait to see you guy's in the next chapter!