Last Day of Term, June (Sixth Year) (Full Moon)

Moony

I wake instantly and completely, sitting bolt upright, and I feel Sirius' arm slip from around my waist. He stirs in his sleep and begins to wake as I'm trying to calm myself. My heart is thundering in my ears, my breathing is quick and shallow. A thin veil of sweat on my skin makes me feel cold and clammy. Already the nightmare is gone—I don't even remember what it was.

We're in the dormitory. In the same bed. What was Sirius thinking? I can just picture the gawking if Robert or Peter wake up. Even James, honestly.

Sirius lifts his head to look at me blearily and asks, "Remus?"

I'm starting to feel calm again, and I manage to ask him in a soft voice, "What're you doing over here?" I glance over to his empty bed, its covers messy and half falling off the bed.

"You were having a nightmare," he answers just as quietly, as if that answers everything. In a way, I suppose it does. I can't help smiling, grateful for the caring gesture. He frowns a little to himself and then adds, "You haven't had nightmares around the full moon in months. What's wrong?" He sits up, turning to face me with his legs crossed. I mimic him so that we're sitting with our knees touching.

He's right; I haven't had nightmares since winter—since Sirius pulled that thoughtless prank on Snape. There's a gnawing feeling in my belly, but I don't know exactly why I've started having nightmares again. I look around, but even James hasn't stirred. It's not quite dawn yet. Finally I reply, "I'm not sure."

"Why were you having nightmares before?" Sirius presses, watching me with intent gray eyes.

Good question. I never really thought about it, but in retrospect, I have an inkling of what plagued my unconscious mind. Dreams of hurting my friends during the change, when I'm not quite myself—but more than that. I felt as if I was only the werewolf. That was the only part that mattered. I felt like Sirius, James, and Peter hung around with me because of what I become on the full moon, and not only did it sting—I was afraid that the part of me they liked best would destroy them. Feeling Sirius' concerned gaze, remembering the last few months, I know that I don't have to worry about that now. So why are the nightmares back? "That was back when I was afraid you took me for granted," I attempt to explain. "I thought... the werewolf... Well, it was because of the werewolf that you became Animagi, because of the werewolf that we could create the Marauder's Map."

There's a faint edge of disbelief in his expression. "You know we never felt that way," he says, but it's half a question. I nod; of course I know. And he continues, "I've seen you when you're just the werewolf, and it scares me. I hate it when you aren't in control."

I lower my gaze, my nostrils flaring a little, and I murmur, "I hate it, too. It's terrifying. I was always afraid the werewolf would take over and I would hurt you. I still am afraid, sometimes. I hate having a monster inside me."

Sirius ducks his head low, forcing me to meet his gaze, and once I'm looking at him he tells me seriously, "Everyone has a monster inside. Yours is just more obvious. And you can control yours better than most people who aren't forced to change into a werewolf once a month."

I give a faint smile and nod.

"But that isn't what the nightmares are about now, is it?" This time, Sirius' question is half a statement.

No, it's not. If it was, they never would have stopped in the first place. I draw my lower lip between my teeth thoughtfully. What's different now?

Today is the last day at Hogwarts, my mind volunteers, and my stomach drops like a stone. We're only leaving for the summer, and since we were allowed to take our Apparating tests early so that I could stay an extra night at Hogwarts for the full moon, I suppose we can visit each other whenever we like. Still, it feels like an end to something. "After tonight, we'll all go home, and you will spend the summer with James..." Ah, there it is.

Sirius hides a small smile that is strangely adult, which seems like the most backward thing in the world on his face. He's a prankster, and rarely serious about anything, where I'm the prefect who worries about school and the full moon every month, so how did I get to be the 'child' in this situation? "You don't need to worry, Rems. James will be off half the summer pestering Lily until she's entirely sick of him, and we can visit each other any time we like."

"It still feels like an end. Summer..." I'm surprised at how much I've picked up from others' relationships when I've only had one serious one of my own—this one. The one that's still ongoing. "Summer is when so many couples break up or get together. You hardly see a couple together at the end of one year that's still together at the beginning of the next."

He gives me his characteristic grin, the one with a hint of mischief in it, and replies, "Not many people know we're together, do they? Maybe it's all the ones we don't know about that last."

I have to smile at his reasoning. "Maybe," I agree.

"Besides," he teases, wrinkling his nose, "if you're worried about me liking James—don't." He makes a gagging noise. "He's more my brother than Regulus is... Sorry, but I don't think I'll be snogging my brother anytime soon."

I wrinkle my nose in agreement and laugh. "Let's hope not."

* * *

Padfoot

Breakfast was cheery; that's to be expected, with the free day to follow, giving students the chance to say their goodbyes and have their last bit of fun before going home.

Dinner, though, is a little more depressed. The Slytherin table is the only one that doesn't seem to be buzzing with an intense, nervous sort of muted excitement—or maybe anxiety is the better word. All the attacks we've been hearing about all year—all of Voldemort's moves—they suddenly seem more real. We're about to go home, where we will be in as much danger as any other witch or wizard of finding ourselves on the receiving end of one of Voldemort's attacks. During the school year, we were safe. At home...

The Slytherins, though, look almost smug. Most of them, at least. I'll eat James' glasses if half of them aren't the children of Death Eaters, and I'll bet a lot of them are Death Eaters themselves, or close to it. Even Regulus doesn't look remotely worried. Our parents aren't Death Eaters, but dear old mum and dad—may they rot in hell—think Voldemort has the right idea. Purity of blood and all.

James looks particularly worried. For Lily, I'm sure, even though he looks more anxious than she does. Where Voldemort would have no qualms killing any one of us Marauders, at least we're from wizarding families. Lily, being Muggle-born, is probably at greater risk than we are.

"I'm sure we'll be fine," Lily reassures James, but while she looks decidedly less apprehensive than Prongs, she still doesn't have the customary sparkle of laughter in her bright eyes.

I glance around the Hall, taking in the Ravenclaw colors. Gryffindor probably could have won the House Cup if it wasn't for us Marauders stirring up trouble all the time, but everyone's happy enough that the Slytherins didn't get the cup. Still, that doesn't stop Gryffindors from shooting James, Remus, Peter, and me half-amused looks of admonishment.

I'm sitting next to Remus, who looks quiet and pensive playing with his food. He's hardly eating anything, but there have been worse months. Sometimes around the full moon he has to force himself to get down a small meal a day. James and Lily are across from us, and Lil is watching Remus with concern on her face, but she knows the routine around the full moon by now as well as we do. She doesn't say anything to him.

Once the majority of us have eaten our fill, Dumbledore stands to get our attention. The Great Hall falls silent as everyone waits for him to speak. He runs his fingers through his long white beard for a moment before he says in a slightly somber voice, "I'm afraid we've reached the close of another year. Tomorrow, you will all be packing your trunks and heading home on the Hogwarts Express...

"These are dark times, and I wish you all a safe summer. I'm sure I will see each of your faces back next year, your heads properly emptied over the summer so that you are ready for another year of learning." He looks to either side at the teachers sharing the Staff Table with him and gives a small smile.

Turning back to the students, he finishes, "But enough of my rambling. Spend this last night at Hogwarts well, and I'll see you next year." With that, he sits down to applause—not as enthusiastic as at previous feasts of the year, but applause all the same.

I lean my head forward between James, Lily, and Remus as I murmur, "We should probably go. Madam Pomfrey will be waiting." Remus puts down his fork on a half-empty plate as he stands, Lily, James, and I following suit. We make our way out of the Great Hall; we aren't the only ones doing so, but the majority of students remain in the hall to socialize. It will probably still be crowded late into the night.

We meet Madam Pomfrey at the entrance to the castle, and she smiles warmly at us. "Now, remember," she says as we reach her, "you lot can still take the Hogwarts Express tomorrow morning if you like—Dumbledore just thought you might not like to rush after a night like you'll have." The last part is addressed to Remus, of course; it took a bit of pleading to let James, Lily, and I stay as well when there didn't seem to be much point. We didn't want Remus to be alone, but Madam Pomfrey had pointed out that he would be alone anyway for the night... so we convinced her that he might like to see some friendly faces the next morning. We took our Apparating tests in case we sleep past the departure time of the Hogwarts Express—otherwise Peter might have stayed, too, but he hasn't passed his test yet.

Remus nods at Madam Pomfrey and tells her, "I'm ready."

She smiles at him and tells the three of us who are to remain behind, "I hope you don't mind staying in the Hospital Wing... I thought it might be easier than having you stay in your dormitories."

"That'll be fine," Lily says, returning Madam Pomfrey's smile.

"Alright, then. Go ahead and bring your things to the Hospital Wing while I take care of Remus." She shoos us away, leading Moony out across the grounds.

* * *

"You can't just sneak off," Lily murmurs as we wait in the Hospital Wing for Madam Pomfrey. She is cross-legged on a bed, and James and I are sitting on our trunks in front of her. "Madam Pomfrey will check on us during the night—you know how she is. I'll have to find a way to cover for you."

James is shaking his head slowly, looking thoughtful. After a moment, he looks at me and asks, "Do you think Moony will mind if only you show up? Lily shouldn't have to cover for us alone. I can stay behind, and then we can say you've gone to the bathroom if Madam Pomfrey notices you're gone."

He's right, of course. Madam Pomfrey will definitely notice if two of us go missing. We'll be lucky if we can get away with just me leaving without her finding out. I nod, frowning, and say, "That's probably best. I'll stay with you until it's dark. We can play Exploding Snap or something. Then I'll 'go to bed' for the night... right?"

Lily nods her agreement, but turns her gaze to James and asks, "Are you sure you don't want to go? I can cover for the both of you. Might take a little Charms work, but I can if you want to stay with Remus."

"No, it's fine," he replies with a smile, adjusting his glasses over his hazel eyes. "Besides," he adds in a teasing undertone, "this way the couples get some alone time together."

Lily laughs and smacks his arm in mock admonishment, but nods. "Alright, then. Well. Who's up for a round of Exploding Snap? Or maybe Wizard's Chess?"

"Exploding Snap," I reply immediately. "So we can all play." In truth, I'm not very good at chess, nor do I particularly like it. I used to have a set, but my pieces never learned to trust me and were always shouting about what an idiot I was whenever I moved them. I think my mother may have put them up to it, though.

Lily nods, grinning, and smacks playfully at James' leg until he moves off of his trunk so that she can open it up and retrieve his Exploding Snap deck. She rummages through robes and underwear alike, completely unabashed, though I note amusedly out of the corner of my eye that James is blushing a little.

Once she's found the deck of highly volatile cards and reorganized James' underwear so that she can close his trunk without having to sit on it and force the latch shut, we play until well after sundown. James ends up with soot on his glasses more than once, and Lily singes the tips of her hair. I somehow manage to singe my nose hair—no idea how—which James and Lily find highly amusing. I keep wrinkling my nose at the smell of burnt hair until I finally take some water and rinse my face, hoping it will dampen the smell.

Madam Pomfrey even joins us for a round of the game, but she decides to quit while she's ahead after Lily's highly excitable cards leave a burn mark on her robes. She retires to her office, smiling her amusement at us; once she's been gone for a while, James, Lily, and I wrap up our round of Exploding Snap so that I can take James' Invisibility Cloak and sneak out of the castle to spend the night in the Shrieking Shack with Moony.

James helps me arrange some pillows on a Hospital Wing bed, Transfiguring the top one to sprout a bit of black hair. I can't help but laugh a little at the sight of a pillow growing hair. We pull the blankets up until only a little of the hair peeps out of the top, and then James digs his Invisibility Cloak out and hands it to me.

"Good luck," I murmur to him, grinning before I pull the cloak over me. Then, brushing past him on my way out, I whisper in his ear: "Have fun with Lily."

He glares at the spot where I was a moment ago as I slip over to the door of the wing. "See you in the morning," I tell them both.

"See you," Lily replies brightly, and they both wave at what looks like nothing as I sneak out of the Hospital Wing.

***

It isn't until I wake in the morning, muzzle resting on Remus' chest, that I realize we slept through most of the night. For a full moon, this is very unusual, but it's a nice change. I start to smile, but it doesn't quite work out well in dog form, so I change back to human. The strong scent of Remus dulls. He still smells of chocolate, though. I rest my cheek against his chest, one arm cast casually over his belly.

After a few moments, he stirs, waking. I hear his soft moan as sleep falls away, and then I feel his fingers in my hair, gentle and tickling. I raise my head to look up at him, smiling.

"Good morning," he murmurs, hand falling from my hair to my cheek.

"Morning," I reply. I slowly sit up, looking around at the early morning light streaming in through the Shrieking Shack's windows. Remus follows suit, stretching and groaning after the night of sleeping on hard floor. "Sleep well?" I ask him, half-teasing.

"Very," he replies, grinning.

I give him a coy smile and reach out, pulling him close to me. "Good." He looks better than I remember after a full moon; he still looks a little tired, but his brown eyes are light with life and his color is already returning. I smile and kiss his neck; he lifts my face until our lips are touching and kisses me. I return the kiss, nibbling on his lower lip a little and grinning against his mouth until the kiss resumes, warmth and tongues and all.

I hear Lily clear her throat from behind Remus, and I pull back, looking over his shoulder at her. She grins at me, giving a wave, and says, "Terribly sorry to interrupt, but we thought we'd get here early so it wouldn't look so suspicious that your hairy pillow was sleeping in like a great lump..." She pulls on James' arm, and he appears in the doorway, looking slightly embarrassed. He may be fine with Remus and me by now, but that doesn't stop him from blushing anytime he walks in on us. Of course, I think he might blush walking in on any couple snogging, so that doesn't particularly bother me.

"You were up early," Remus says, turning to face them. His cheeks have the faintest trace of pink to them, but otherwise he looks completely normal. Well, aside from the fact that he's only in his pants. "It's not even breakfast time, and it had to take you forever to get here."

Lily shrugs and smiles. "I'll get to sleep in all summer. I thought I ought to get up early one last time, for old time's sake." She flicks her wand, and four trunks float past her into the Shack. "We've brought everything, so we can leave anytime. I thought it might be fun to spend the day in Hogsmeade, though."

"Yeah, but we can leave you here if you need some time alone," James says, recovering with the tease fully in place in his voice.

I exchange a glance with Remus, who shrugs. I take that as a yes and, grinning, tell James, "I'll see you back at your house."

The blush returns briefly to James' cheeks, but then he nods and tells Remus, "Come and visit any time this summer. We'll visit you, too, if you're away too long." He shakes his finger as if the last part is a threat, and I smile to myself. I think Lily's been lecturing him on including Remus. He takes out his wand and gestures to his and Lily's trunks, murmuring "Locomotor Trunks" as he starts directing them out of the doorway. He tells me by way of explanation, "I think we'll leave these in the front room, come back for them later..."

I suppress a laugh, but nod and ask, "Did you get your cloak?"

"I did," he replies. "See you later."

He heads out the door, and Lily follows, casting over her shoulder, "You're welcome to visit me, as well, but I imagine I'll be with James most of the time."

"I'll see you," Remus says, waving as she retreats from view.

James and Lily's easy companionship, the way they seem to fit, reminds me of the discussion Remus and I had yesterday morning. "So, Rems, you think Lily and James have one of those relationships that'll be over after the summer?" I ask him, idly playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He turns back to look at me, giving me a crooked grin. "I get the point."

"Mm-hmm." I twirl his hair on my fingers; he pulls my hand away, murmuring something about it tickling. "You sure you feel better? You're not going to have any more nightmares, are you?"

"I don't think so," he replies, smiling.

I'm not quite satisfied. "Just remember that we can see each other all summer—even after next year, we can see each other whenever we want. It's never the end, you know." I remember the other part of what he told me, the werewolf. The monster everyone has inside—but that Remus has to become once a month. It isn't fair. The werewolf should be some Slytherin beast who doesn't even try to hide his inner monster, not Remus. Everyone has their inner demons—everyone has the heart of a werewolf. Remus' monster, though, doesn't come out but once a month, and even then he's mostly in control. The real werewolves are the people who don't keep that monster inside while they have the opportunity.

"What're you thinking?" Remus asks quietly.

"About werewolves," I reply. "And you. And how it isn't fair that you had to be one when there are so many people who are more like werewolves than you are."

He grins and puts a hand to the back of my neck, drawing me forward until our lips meet in another kiss.  

&&&&&

Okay, heads up: the next and final chapter is an epilogue. It takes place in 1996 around the end of Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts. It's not fluffy like the rest of this story has been. If you feel like ending on a fluffy note, it won't hurt my feelings if you stop here, lol. Though, please do comment and/or vote if you've enjoyed this story!