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"all suffering originates from craving, from attachment, from desire." - edgar allan poe

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Delilah climbed out of the SUV outside of the diner where their unsub was sat with Derek, Gideon and some of the other officers. Emily, Spencer and Hotch followed her, Hotch helping George out of the backseat carefully.

"George?! George, baby?! You all right?!" a man hurried over to the car, wrapping his arms around George's waist. He was clearly her husband. "Thank god. Thank god," George's husband cried.

"He killed tommy's teacher. I saw it. Annie. She was just 22," George whispered, looking up at her husband's panicked face. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"They found the school bus abandoned just outside of town," George's husband said.

"Tommy's supposed to be on that field trip. Where is he?" George cried.

"Safe. He's fine. He's with my mom," George's husband assured her. "But, that man, he also killed the school bus driver," George's husband said, holding his wife's face in his hands.

"How?! We had the whole town shut down. There was no way out," George cried, turning to look at the BAU team.

"What was the one vehicle we weren't looking for?" Hotch said.

"A school bus," Delilah sighed.

"More importantly, where are the children?" Hotch asked, looking towards the diner with a grim face.

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A squad car pulled up to the diner ten minutes later with the sirens going off, an officer getting out and helping crazy Jane out of the backseat.

"Sir, I found her walking the streets," the officer said.

The BAU team hurried over, Emily moving to stand beside Jane with Hotch on her other side.

"Jane, he's been coming back to this town for years to see you," Hotch said.

"All those years. Why?" Jane asked.

"He says he's in love with you," Hotch said.

"He's in love with me? Why?!" Jane asked.

"That's what he says," Hotch said.

"He hides out in your old barn, and he watches you, and when he leaves, he leaves these wind chimes as gifts," Emily said, motioning to the whistle Jane was clutching in her hands, the whistle that was actually a rib bone.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Jane smiled at Emily.

"They're not beautiful. They are the remains of people he took, tortured, and killed. He is not an alien. You were abducted by a serial killer," Emily said.

"Same," Delilah mouthed to herself.

"But he did come for me, didn't he? Not George! He came for me, didn't he?" Jane said.

"That's what he says," Hotch said.

"You told me to run, but I didn't want to run. I wanted to see him again, to see his eyes and see his face. And I don't know... Somehow it just felt like I was coming home," Jane said dreamily, turning to look at George with a massive grin.

"Jane!"

Delilah turned, seeing Derek and Gideon were holding their unsub, Frank, back as they led him out of the diner. Jane squeaked, trying to run over, but George and Emily grabbed her, keeping them apart.

"Oh! He has the children, Jane," George pleaded.

"He has our children," Silo said.

"And we will find them," Derek said.

"And if we don't, they'll die of exposure!" Silo snapped. "He hasn't got Tommy, George, but what if he did? Hand him over," Silo said.

"Silo," George tried.

"What choice do we have?" Silo snapped.

"Not this one!" George said.

"Tell them, Jason. Tell them I'm not interested in harming children. You've studied me for years. Have I ever once harmed a child? It does nothing for me. Give me Jane... And they'll have their children back," Frank said.

"Is she part of this with you?" Silo scoffed.

"Look at her, Rick. She's not a part of anything. She's as much his victim as you are," George said.

"With Jane in my life, I will never harm another human being," Frank swore.

"Oh," Jane swooned, trying to move forward towards him again, but Emily and George held her back.

"Leave her alone!" Frank snapped, trying to move free.

"Hey! Don't even think about it," Derek warned him.

"No matter what you do to him, he will never give you what you want," Gideon told Silo.

"I'm telling you, Rick, they'll find the children. Trust me," George said.

"Take me with you, Frank," Gideon said. "Just you and me."

"And my Jane?" Frank asked.

"You'll take me to where the kids are?" Gideon asked.

"Happily. I couldn't have that on my conscience," Frank smiled creepily.

Delilah's jaw clenched as she watched Frank look at Jane. She knew sexual sadists couldn't feel love. This was an obsession. Jane was the only person who never feared Frank. She was his exception. Maybe it wasn't love, or maybe it was, but it was definitely insanity, too.

It was always the case with sexual sadists like Frank.

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Delilah shone her torch down at the group of kids off the school bus later that night, wincing through the darkness at the paramedics and police officers checking them to make sure they were okay so they could take them back to their families.

She sighed, turning and walking to where Gideon, Emily, George, Derek, Spencer and Hotch were stood.

"He told you where they were?" Emily asked.

"They were just over that ridge," Gideon pointed over one of the ridges, Emily setting off to look immediately.

"Which way did he go?" Hotch asked.

"West," Gideon said.

"All units, all units, we have the children. Get search planes up. Start a grid search westbound from this location," Silo said into his radio.

Gideon started walking off, Hotch and Delilah sharing a look before following him, shining their torches down on the tracks through the dirt until they stopped.

"The tracks, they disappear," Hotch said.

"We'll find them," Gideon said confidently, turning around to walk back to the officers.

"I doubt it," Delilah whispered, looking at the tracks, then up at the dark sky. "They've got hours on us. He was one step ahead of us this entire time. He had a way out planned for this scenario. He and Jane are most likely gone," Delilah told Hotch.

"I'm sure Gideon is aware of this," Hotch sighed.

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Delilah sat in her bathroom a few hours later, the door closed and light on as she braided her hair back out of her face from her spot on the floor. She'd gotten home from the case, Liv already having picked JJ up for a sleepover, and Hotch had dropped Delilah home on his way home.

JJ had been asleep, so, Delilah had gotten a shower, almost fainted from having barely eaten all day and from the heat of her shower, and was now sat on the bathroom door to try and keep herself from going dizzy.

Delilah tied off the second braid and stood up, flicking the bathroom light off and slowly leaving the room. She crept out of the bedroom, glancing at JJ curled up asleep in the bed, then headed down the hallway towards the kitchen, flicking the light on and moving over to the fridge.

She grabbed the butter and closed the fridge, getting the bread out and putting two slices in the toaster. She flicked the kettle on as she waited, getting one of her cups ready to make a cup of tea.

Delilah yawned, rubbing her eyes as she looked out of the kitchen window at the stars in the sky. Her phone vibrated on the kitchen side where she'd left it on her way into the apartment, knowing she'd have to eat before she slept so she wouldn't wake up feeling even worse.

The toast popped out and she buttered it, cutting it into triangles and taking a bite as she started making her tea, putting the spoon in the sink with the knife when she was done. She leaned against the counter as she took another bite of her toast, picking up her phone and unlocking it.

It was a message from Nora checking in about any Christmas plans. Delilah sent back that she was working over Christmas because Liv couldn't get the time off work and they told Dave not to fly in because, chances are, they wouldn't see him for much longer than a few hours before one of them got called into work.

Delilah put her phone back down, finishing her toast and then wiping the side clean. She finished her tea, then grabbed a bottle of water, flicked the lights off and headed down the hallway to her bedroom.

Delilah closed the bedroom door shut behind her, glancing at the bed and JJ still tucked up under the blankets, then the small sofa near the windows. Delilah grabbed a book and a blanket, heading over to the sofa and lying down. She threw the blanket over herself, opening the book to page one and starting to read to herself in the moonlight.

She got about one hundred pages in when JJ stirred in the bed at the sound of Delilah turning a page too loudly. JJ mumbled something, turning over in the bed and blinking a few times until she opened her eyes, looking around until she spotted Delilah on the sofa.

"You're not in bed," JJ mumbled, rolling onto her stomach and blinking tiredly at Delilah. "Can't sleep again?"

"Haven't tried. Needed a distraction before bed so I don't dream of torsos and corpses," Delilah said.

"You saw the victim in the coffin in the torture chamber?" JJ asked.

"Yeah," Delilah sighed, folding the corner of her book page and dropping it onto the floor. "Throat slit. Seemed fresh."

"That's horrible. I'm sorry," JJ mumbled.

"It's not your fault," Delilah said, looking back towards the stars.

"What are you thinking about?" JJ asked.

"Nothing, really," Delilah said.

JJ hummed, fighting to keep her eyes open as she watched Delilah watching the stars through the window. Delilah sighed, tugging on the star pendant of her necklace a few times.

"She looked like you," Delilah said. "The woman. The corpse. Blonde hair, blue eyes, young. And she had her throat slit, blood everywhere. Her eyes were open, staring up at me. And, for a minute, I thought it was you. And then I remembered that you were fine. You were in Virginia with Penelope and Hotch spoke to you on the phone an hour before. It wasn't you," Delilah said.

"Still scared you, though," JJ whispered, sitting up on her elbows to look at Delilah better.

"Still scared me," Delilah sighed.

"Have you ever seen that before? A torture chamber?" JJ asked.

"Not one like that, no, but that wasn't what freaked me out. I mean, fuck, JJ, I've seen the worst things you can imagine and that still freaked me out. A fucking surgical room with a bone saw hanging from the ceiling, blood in the tray, the tools," Delilah trailed off as she blinked a few times, sighing as she shifted on the sofa. "I almost considered surgery. As a career. Like Liv."

"You did?" JJ asked, sitting up properly in the bed and crossing her legs over.

"Yeah. For about a week before I realised I'd be in charge of someone's life," Delilah said.

"You still are, in this job," JJ said.

"But it's not just on me, this way," Delilah said. "Liv, she's the chief of neuro at her hospital. She's the go-to surgeon for any cases. People from all over the country travel for her because she is a superstar with a scalpel and can carve tumours the size of baseballs out of someone's brain. One wrong move and her patient is dead, and it's her mistake that caused that. I couldn't do that, hold all the power alone, make the call to go in on a surgery that seems impossible," Delilah said.

"It is terrifying. It's also terrifying that you hunt down serial killers and put your life at risk to save others," JJ said.

"Yeah, I guess," Delilah shrugged.

"I think it's a control issue," JJ said.

Delilah looked over at her curiously.

"You can trust yourself more as a profiler. You know human behaviour inside and out. You're amazing at what you do and that's because you were exposed to the worst of humanity at such a young age. You've grown up with a profiler at home. It's familiar and you have more control when you can predict what someone else is going to do. Surgery is unfamiliar to you, and it probably throws you out of your comfort zone way more than you'd like," JJ said.

"Maybe you should become a profiler," Delilah hummed. "You're good at figuring me out," she said.

"I just know you, honey," JJ smiled, tilting her head to the side. "That means I was right?"

"You know you were," Delilah rolled her eyes fondly.

"Doesn't hurt to hear it, once in a while," JJ grinned. "The girl who looked like me," JJ started.

"Annie," Delilah said. "Twenty two years old. Tommy, Sheriff George's son, his teacher. George saw it," Delilah said.

"Annie," JJ said. "Not Jennifer. Not me," JJ said.

"Still looked like you," Delilah said.

JJ stood up, padding across the bedroom in just a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, despise the cold December air making the entire building cold, no matter how warm the radiators were. She crossed over to the sofa, sitting down cross legged in front of it.

"I'm right here. It wasn't me. I'm safe," JJ said softly.

She took Delilah's hand, gently moving it to rest over JJ's chest, placed just above her pounding heart.

"I'm okay. It's just me and you. We're both safe. We're both alive. I'm right here," JJ whispered.

Delilah stared at her for a few seconds, feeling JJ's heartbeat pounding against her ribs like it was trying to break free from a cage. Delilah was half concerned she was going to have a heart attack, but she knew there would be other symptoms she'd notice, so it wasn't a heart attack.

But the only other thing she could think it would be wasn't really an option. JJ said was straight. Delilah wasn't going to go against JJ's boundaries in case she was wrong and ruin their relationship entirely. She couldn't do that. Maybe JJ was keeping something to herself, maybe there was hope for them, but Delilah wasn't going to push her.

That was the only reasonable explanation for any of this. It had to be. That, or JJ was actually having a heart attack, which Delilah also didn't really want.

Whatever it was, Delilah wasn't sure she liked it. JJ looking at her like that, Delilah's hand being where it was, it was like the world was spinning way faster than Delilah could handle and she was feeling a little bit overwhelmed.

JJ was alive. Delilah could feel her heartbeat under her hand and she knew she was alive, something JJ was doing to prove to Delilah that she was fine. Delilah should be focusing on that, should be focusing on the fact that she'd seen a dead body that looked a lot like JJ today, but she couldn't.

All she could focus on was the way JJ's eyes were staring at her, so wide and open and loving. Delilah was almost scared she'd try and say those words again.

"Lilah?" JJ whispered, shuffling closer and putting her hand on Delilah's shoulder. "Lilah, you okay?" she whispered, poking her cheek with a small smile.

Delilah couldn't help but smile back, head turning to the side against the sofa to look at JJ. Her eyes were squinted in the corner, the dimples in her cheeks prominent in the night glow illuminating the room.

"Just tired," Delilah whispered back.

"Ready to try and sleep?" JJ asked.

"In a minute," Delilah said, closing her eyes as she turned her head back towards the ceiling.

She moved her hand from JJ's chest, taking JJ's hand in her own. She pressed two fingers to JJ's pulse, counting the slowing beats for a minute until she felt less like the world was flying by without her and more like it was standing still.

But, the truth was, Delilah didn't know if she preferred the world to stand still.

She was all too aware of how JJ's skin felt against hers, how JJ's eyes felt staring at her, how familiar her warmth was. She was all too aware that JJ did love her, even if it wasn't in the way Delilah loved her back.

Delilah opened her eyes and stood up, tugging JJ to her feet and over to the bed. They lay down in silence, JJ lying on her back and pulling Delilah to rest her head against JJ's chest, ear pressed above her heart, their heartbeats falling into sync within a few seconds of lying together.

JJ's hands moved to Delilah's hair, starting to fiddle with the braids gently while Delilah tugged the blankets over them, closing her eyes as she draped an arm over JJ's waist, the sound of JJ's heart beating beneath her soothing her more than Delilah thought an organ could do.

JJ was alive. She was alive and she was right here in Delilah's arms and she was safe. They were both safe and they were both alive. They were the sun and the moon, but the moon wasn't saying goodbye, yet. They still had time.

This wouldn't end up like it did with Dylan. It couldn't.

"Go to sleep, Lilah. We're okay," JJ whispered.

"Thank you," Delilah whispered back.

"What for?" JJ said softly.

"Existing. You're my favourite person in the world," Delilah mumbled, eyes heavy as she tried to stay awake.

JJ chuckled, the sound making a sleepy smile spread across Delilah's lips.

"You're my favourite person in the world, too," JJ whispered, dropping a soft kiss to Delilah's forehead.

"Penso che mi sto innamorando di te," Delilah whispered.

"I don't speak Italian, Lilah," JJ whispered.

"Good."

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Delilah sat up on the kitchen counter the next morning, phone in one hand as she sipped her morning coffee. Liv was looking over case files at the kitchen island, a laptop set up with brain scans displayed while Liv had a 3D silicone model of a brain on the table, molding playdough in the hands to make the shape of a tumour in her real life model.

JJ was sat at the kitchen island with Liv, watching Liv with her playdough before looking down at her own files, losing interest within seconds to watch Liv fit the playdough into the jelly brain, the green colour standing out against the clear silicone brain.

"So, uh, the silicone brain is your patient's brain, and the playdough is their tumour?" JJ said.

"Yes," Liv mumbled, adding more playdough in the brain. "I have to figure out a way to extract this tumour without damaging the surrounding areas. This tumour is particularly difficult. It's called a butterfly glioblastoma and it straddles both sides of the brain. They'll still die, but surgically resecting it can give them a better chance at living a longer time with chemo. It'll also give them happier last months, if I can do it," Liv said.

"Why would anyone get the surgery if they're going to die, anyway?" JJ asked curiously.

"This patient is a single parent of a seventeen year old boy. The boy's mom died of brain cancer two years ago. My patient wants to get his son to eighteen before he dies and he's scared that the tumour will make his son put off college to take care of him. My patient is hoping that, if the surgery goes well, his last few months to a year and a half will be easier on his son and he can help his son properly adjust to lose his only parent," Liv said.

"Oh," JJ mumbled. "That's no pressure," she said, the sarcasm clear in her tone.

"Tell me about it," Liv sighed. "My brain is going to burn if I stare at this all day. I'm already getting a headache," she said.

"Well," Delilah spoke up. "Good news. We're all going out tonight. You are meeting our new teammate, and Haley even said she'd come out with Hotch because they've got a babysitter. And we're all off tomorrow, so, you can properly recover from your hangover," she said.

"Oh my god," Liv turned to look at Delilah. "You didn't even make me ask or beg you," she said.

"You've proved you can behave yourself around my friends. I'm not opposed to the introduction. Besides, she was asking after you, so, I said I'd let you meet, and I am," Delilah said. "Don't make me take it back."

"Never would," Liv grinned. "But, uh, tonight isn't a great night. I'm meeting the work girls for drinks," Liv said.

Delilah raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously? I do this out of the kindness of my heart and you're not even coming? Spencer's been telling her all about you and your surgery shit. She's excited to meet you!" Delilah said.

"Well, we'll just meet you guys at your bar after," Liv shrugged.

"Your friends and my friends mixing?" Delilah said.

"Is that bad?" JJ asked.

"Who's going?" Delilah asked Liv.

"Inessa, Inaya, Cecelia, Marlene and Jace," Liv said.

"You said the girls. Jace is a boy," Delilah said.

"Jace is one of the girls at this point," Liv rolled her eyes fondly. "They're not that bad."

"Ness, maybe not. Naya is wild, Cece is Italian, Mar is... Mar, and Jace is... Well, Jace," Delilah said.

"You like my friends! Okay, look, Ness will get on great with Spencer, if he's fascinated with surgery. She'll talk his ear off. Naya can talk to Derek about their shared love of kicking doors down. Penelope and Mar are both sunshines. Cece can talk to Haley about baby Jack and Jace can bond with Derek over being bros when he's done talking to Naya," Liv said.

"Bros," Delilah gagged. "That's a disgusting word."

"You're a disgusting word," Liv stuck her tongue out at Delilah. "I have a life outside of you, Lilah. I'm allowed to make plans without consulting you. We'll just meet you guys after and it'll be fine," Liv said.

"It's rude that you think I shouldn't be the main focus in your life," Delilah teased. "I thought you were basically my mom."

"You can't use that to win arguments and then snap at me for trying to mother you outside of arguments. Pick a side, you little shit," Liv said, turning back to her brain and playdough.

"To be honest, I think it might be fun," JJ said. "We should socialise with more people who we don't work with. Doctors are fun," JJ said.

"Naya's a firefighter," Liv said.

"How are you guys friends?" JJ asked curiously.

"Jace, Ness and Naya are siblings. Their dad is the chief of surgery at the hospital. He's my boss. Jace is head of plastics, Ness is cardio, Naya is firefighting. Cece is OB/GYN, she delivered baby Jack, and Mar is head of pediatrics," Liv said.

"Ah, that makes sense," JJ said. "I want to meet them. They sound fun."

"Then we'll meet you guys at the bar," Liv smirked at Delilah. "I'll call you when we're thinking of moving."

"Can't wait," Delilah said.

"Oh, c'mon, you're just scared Mar is gonna try and hit on you again," Liv said.

"No, I'm not," Delilah rolled her eyes, a small flush flooding her cheeks. "Marlene can hit on me all she wants-"

"And she will," Liv said, eyeing the frown on JJ's face.

"-But she isn't gonna sleep with me because I don't break the rules of sisterhood," Delilah finished.

"The rules of sisterhood?" Liv repeated.

"Don't sleep with each other's friends," Delilah said.

"I haven't slept with-"

"Seven times."

"It's not-"

"Seven times."

"That's coworkers-"

"It's friends, and it's seven times. Do not sleep with my friends, Olivia. Do not sleep with my coworkers. I don't sleep with yours," Delilah said.

JJ smirked when Liv rolled her eyes, turning back to her brain with a sigh.

"I won't break the rules of sisterhood. I promise," Liv said.

"Break it and I'll break your face," Delilah smiled sweetly.

"Ah, violence. The only way you know how to show your love," Liv said.

"You're asking for me to kick your ass," Delilah said, sliding off the counter. "C'mon, JJ. We can watch a movie while Liv is all boring with her brains," she said.

"Okay," JJ said, standing up and abandoning her files to follow Delilah to the living room.

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AN:

hey guys so starting from next chapter (next monday probs), liv's book "take me to church" will be getting published :)

it's an emily prentiss fanfic and it will run parallel with this book throughout the rest of the seasons.

it'll also probably be single chapter updates while this book will continue to be double updates, just because season 2 in this book is a lot bigger than it is for liv and emily's story

there will be some crossover into this book with scenes between delilah and liv, but those scenes will be told from their perspectives in that scenario

but yeah, just wanted to let you all know :)

and thank you so much for 80K reads, i'm so glad you all love delilah and jj as much as i do🫶

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