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"most days, i am a museum of things i want to forget." - ee scott

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Delilah paced up and down the living room area connected to her hotel room, chewing her thumb nail as she moved between the couches. It was almost twelve and she was waiting for Nora and Colin Hart to arrive so the three of them could mourn and celebrate what would've been Dylan's twenty eighth birthday, today.

Delilah turned twenty eight, today. She had woken up an hour ago to texts from Dave, Hotch, Haley, Gideon, Liv and JJ telling her they were thinking of her and were just checking in, Dave, Liv and JJ asking that she called them if she felt up for it.

She'd texted them all back to say thanks, not promising any phone calls because she didn't know how long Nora and Colin would stay. She wouldn't make them leave early, either. She wasn't going to deny them what was, arguably, the only piece of Dylan they had left; her.

There was a knock on the door and Delilah stopped pacing, taking a deep breath before walking over. She undid the locks and pulled the door open, staring at Colin and Nora heart with a nervous smile.

She hadn't seen them in two years, since two thousand and four. She got back from her time away and they met her in California when she was taking the week off for the anniversary her first year on the BAU team.

They hadn't changed. Colin still had the same black hair with grey starting to spread through it, his beard tinged grey. He was still wearing his usual jeans and flannel shirt with a black coat over them, workboots on his feet.

Nora was still the same greying redhead, her eyes wrinkled from years of laughing and crying, the same mothering smile on her lips that had belonged to Dylan, once. She was still wearing her usual jeans and knitted jumper, converse on her feet that matched the colour of her jumper, her red coat over her jumper to keep her warm.

Delilah had changed more than they had. She'd grown up from a tiny newborn into a grown up in front of her eyes, but she barely remembered them changing over the years. Their hair had started greying and they had wrinkles, but their smiles didn't change and their personalities didn't.

"Hi, dizzy," Nora said, "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

Delilah had lied when she said nobody ever wished her happy birthday. She didn't allow anyone else to wish her happy birthday, only Nora and Colin. Delilah and Dylan had celebrated every birthday together. He'd died on their last birthday together. Nora and Colin lost birthdays with their son, but they didn't have to lose them with Delilah, too.

"Hi. Thank you," Delilah said.

She stepped aside to let them in, Nora pulling her into a hug as she stepped into the hotel room. She was still taller than Delilah, her arms still as warm and safe as they'd always been, the kiss dropped on her forehead as soothing and motherly as it had always been. Delilah's eyes pricked with tears. It wouldn't be the last time.

Nora let go of Delilah and stepped into the hotel room, Colin moving forward to pull Delilah into a side hug, the same side hug he'd always given her. Usually, Dylan would be on the other side, and Colin would squish them both together until they were giggling and trying to wriggle away.

"Hey, kiddo," Colin said, resting his chin on her head before moving into the room.

"Hi," Delilah said, closing the door behind them and locking it. "Coffee?"

"Thank you, sweetheart," Nora smiled, moving to the kitchen with bags Delilah hadn't noticed before. "I brought us a lot of junkfood, some birthday gifts, there's a birthday cake, and I even picked us up my favourite gin, so, we can have a few drinks later," Nora said.

Delilah couldn't help but smile. This was the same birthday routine from her childhood, only the alcohol was new since she'd turned twenty one. Familiarity usually freaked her the fuck out, but this was nice.

Delilah could handle this.

•

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"And I tell you, dizzy, you wouldn't believe how terrible Matthew Elson looks nowadays," Colin laughed over his whisky, sat on one of the couches with a bowl of popcorn in his lap.

"Oh, Colin, he thinks the earth is flat. His lack of brains is more important than that goddamn cheek lift thing he got," Nora laughed, stirring her gin with the straw.

Delilah chuckled from beside Nora on the other couch, a bowl of sweets on her lap that she was picking from, watching The Land Before Time on the hotel TV.

"I can't believe he got plastic surgery. I'd be so scared of surgery on my face," Delilah said.

"Me, too," Colin sighed. "So, how have you been, kiddo? How's Liv and Dave?"

"I'm good, so are they. Liv's been doing a lot of tumour surgeries at work. Dave's still touring with his books and giving talks in colleges. We're probably gonna try and go up over Christmas, but, we're not sure if Liv can get the time off work," Delilah said.

"That's good," Nora smiled. "How's your job? Still loving it?"

"I do love it," Delilah smiled slightly. "My team is great. Aaron, my boss, he knows everything so, he knows when I need support and stuff. And I've made friends there. They've met Liv," Delilah said.

"They have?" Colin said. "That's good. I'm glad you're letting people in, again."

"Me, too. Tell us about them. Your team. We'd love to know more about the people making you smile," Nora said, taking a sip of her gin.

"Well, Aaron is my boss. He's had a baby with his wife, baby Jack, he's one, now. Jack's great. Liv spends more time with them than I do, but we have a weekly dinner and I just adore him," Delilah said.

"Oh, a baby," Nora cooed. "I love babies. They're so precious when they're little," Nora said quietly.

"Gideon, he's still Gideon. Grumpy, but lovable. And Spencer, god, he's just great. He's, like, twenty five and the smartest person I know. He knows statistics for everything and he's the sweetest soul, ever. He reminds me a bit of Dylan, sometimes. He has the same look of excitement when you listen to him talk about his interests," Delilah said, smiling as she thought of Spencer.

"He sounds adorable," Nora smiled.

"Sounds like a good man, too. A good friend," Colin said.

"Penelope, she's a firecracker. She wears the weirdest outfits and she's a tech genius. She's so sweet and she hates seeing all the bad stuff, but she loves helping us save people. She's one of my best friends and she always knows when something weird is going on with me," Delilah said.

"She sounds fun. I bet Liv loves her," Colin chuckled.

"She does," Delilah smiled. "Then Derek. Derek is... He's like the brother I never had. He's... He understands why I chose to do this. And he knows about Dylan. A bit of it, at least. He always has my back," Delilah said.

"He understands," Colin said.

"He's never... I don't know what..." Delilah trailed off with a sigh.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Do you want to keep going?" Nora asked.

"Yeah. Uh, Elle was on the team. She... She left a few weeks ago. But, uh, Elle and I got on great. She would call me out on my shit and laugh at my coffee addiction. Elle's great. I miss her," Delilah said, looking down at her lap.

"What about this Jennifer?" Colin asked.

"What?" Delilah looked up at him. "How do you know about JJ?"

"Dave mentioned her a few months ago," Colin said.

Delilah blinked.

"What?" she said.

"Oh, dizzy," Colin chuckled, taking a sip of his whisky, "Did you really think Dave would stop phoning us every week now you've moved out and are all grown up? He's never missed a call, all the years years he's known you," Colin said.

"I... I kind of figured you guys wouldn't do that anymore. Now I'm grown up and I phone you guys. Dad isn't even in the same state as me, anymore," Delilah said.

"He's a good man, Dave," Nora said, taking a sip of her gin. "He's visited many times over the years. Especially when you were away. Olivia often visited with him, back then. She's stuck to phonecalls and video chats on the computer now you're home again," Nora said.

"Oh," Delilah said.

"So, JJ?" Colin asked. "Tell us all about the girl who's stolen your heart, my girl," he smiled.

"I... She hasn't stolen my heart. She's just my..." Delilah trailed off.

Best friend seemed to catch in her throat. Their son was her best friend, her first best friend. Would they be offended?

"It's okay, sweetheart. We're happy you're moving on. You only took fifteen years to consider falling in love again," Nora smiled, though her tone was teasing and light. "Seriously, we're happy. We want to know all about this wonderful girl who's making our Izzy happy," she said.

"She's beautiful," Delilah admitted. "And it's not her looks. I mean, she's great to look at, but she's just got an amazing heart. She takes care of me and she stays over so I actually sleep and because she doesn't like being alone after cases, even the happy ones, because she feels alone in her apartment. And she adores Liv. Like, not even pretending. She stayed at the apartment last night with Liv because she thought Liv would be worried about me," Delilah rambled.

Nora and Colin just stayed silent, watching Delilah talk, her face lighting up the more she talked.

"She doesn't judge me about anything. She makes me feel so safe. She wanted to bake a birthday cake for Dylan before I flew out here and she wants to bake her future kid's birthday cakes. She just cares so much about me and I don't get why because she helps me so much more than I help her and she's just... great," Delilah said.

"Sounds like you've found a soulmate," Colin said, finishing off his whisky. "This girl like you back?"

"Don't think so," Delilah sighed. "She's about as straight as she comes. Small town, christian parents, conversative neighbours. But we got drunk one night and she got jealous over me dancing with another girl and giving her my number, and we went back to my apartment and JJ was cuddling me and she told me she loved me and then passed out and just hasn't brought it up. She doesn't remember," Delilah said.

"Well, have you ever asked her about liking girls?" Nora said.

"We've talked a bit about it. She said she doesn't know if she likes kissing girls. I told her it's never too late to find out and she might be surprised. She hasn't brought it up," Delilah said.

"Well, is she dating men? Actively going on dates?" Colin said.

"We have no time to date. We're always working and, if we're not working, she's usually staying with me," Delilah said.

"And you're very cuddly and comfortable with each other? And she doesn't seem to want to date?" Nora asked.

"Yes, no," Delilah said. "Maybe she does. She just never mentions anything about going on dates or meeting guys that she likes," Delilah said.

"Do you tell her about your dates?" Colin said.

"Aside from the one night stand in Spain, like, five months ago, I haven't had a date. I didn't go home with that girl in the club. There's nothing to talk about," Delilah said.

"You always have dates. Why have you stopped being slutty?" Nora asked.

"I just haven't wanted to have a date," Delilah said.

"Because you're in love with JJ?" Colin said.

"I'm not-" Delilah cut herself off. "Maybe I'm falling for her, but, I can totally, like, ignore it. I'm going to ignore it. It's for the best I ignore it. It'll me messy and ruin our friendship and I'll have to move departments and she really has no idea about anything. Like, she only knows that I saw Dylan die and it was our birthday and I loved him. She doesn't know about my real dad or Jorge or the kids-"

"Sweetheart, breathe," Nora said, grabbing Delilah's hand and squeezing it.

Delilah took a deep breath, taking a sip of her gin and leaning back in the couch.

"You can't ignore it. She's your best friend and she's going to stick around for a while, by the sound of things. Ignorance is bliss, until it isn't," Nora said.

"My therapist said that," Delilah said.

"And he's the one getting paid to tell you that. I'm telling you the same thing for free," Nora chuckled. "She sounds great, sweetheart. But you can't hurt yourself by pretending things aren't happening. It's going to hit you eventually, and you can't change your name and run away every time. You have to face it," Nora said.

"What if I lose her?" Delilah asked, looking at Nora. "Our job is not safe. She isn't out in the field, yet, but she's already been in a cell with a serial killer who had a victim type, a type that looked exactly like her. What if we're happy and she dies on me? What if it's my fault again?" Delilah asked.

"Kiddo, look at me," Colin said.

Delilah looked over, watching as he shuffled to the end of the couch and took her hands in his.

"It was never your fault, what happened to our boy. You didn't know. You went looking for him. You lost your childhood for our son. And you saw our son die. None of that was your fault. You didn't hold the gun. You didn't pull the trigger. You did not make our son a target. We have never blamed you for any of this. Please, please, Isobel, stop blaming yourself and let your heart begin healing. It's been a long fifteen years. Aren't you exhausted?" Colin said.

Tears burned in Delilah's eyes and she squeezed his hands, nodding.

"I am. I'm sick of running away from things. I'm finally settled and happy and I'm trying to heal so many different things, and JJ makes me feel safe. What if things go wrong and my life is a mess again? I can't do it again. I'm tired," Delilah whispered.

"You just have to trust your gut with this one, sweetheart. Do you think she'd really mess your life up that much?" Nora asked.

"Not on purpose. She has no idea what she's doing to me," Delilah said.

"Then give her time. Keep going to therapy. Keep healing. Spend time with your friends. Do things that make you happy. If she doesn't seem interested or give hints, start working on moving on. If you think she might like you back, you can tell her," Nora said.

"But what if-" Delilah started.

"You're torturing yourself with the what ifs," Colin said, letting go of her hand to ruffle her hair. "It's not healthy," he said.

"It's called anxiety, Colin," Nora said.

"Yeah, Colin," Delilah mumbled, a small smile on her face.

"I'm just an old man, dizzy. You don't have to listen to me. But, whatever you do, telling her or ignoring it, I hope I get to meet her. I haven't seen you smile the way you do when you're talking about her since Dylan was still here," Colin said.

"And that, my darling, is someone worth keeping hold of," Nora said, rubbing Delilah's shoulder. "She sounds good."

"She is," Delilah said. "She's like the sun. She's my sun."

"Every sun needs a moon, and every red string is connected to two people. There isn't one without the other," Colin said.

"I might not be her moon," Delilah said.

"You won't know unless you ask," Colin smiled. "Oh, the movie finished. My turn to pick!" he said, moving to grab the remote.

"Colin, if you pick the Goonies again-" Nora started.

"It's an amazing piece of cinema! Of course I'm picking the goonies," Colin said. "It's revolutionary."

"Yeah, Nora. It's great," Delilah smiled, wiping the stray tears off her cheeks.

Nora chuckled, standing up to get them more drinks.

"What am I going to do with you two, hm?" she said.

•

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Delilah stepped out of her gate in Virginia on the evening of the first of november, looking around the large space for Liv. She saw her standing near the doors, phone to her ear as she paced up and down, wearing a pair of jeans and a hoodie, hair braided and messy.

Delilah walked over, Liv grinning when she saw her and quickly ending her call, hurrying over to hug Delilah.

"I'm so glad you're back with me!" Liv mumbled, kissing Delilah's forehead three times in a row. "Did you sleep on your flight?"

"Yes," Delilah smiled. "What was the phone call about?" Delilah asked.

"Oh, one of my patients is giving my interns a bit of trouble. I have to drop you off and go straight there before there's a dead body. And I'm not talking about my patient," Liv sighed, taking the bag from Delilah's shoulder.

"Does not sound like fun," Delilah said.

"It isn't," Liv said. "Uh, JJ's on a case. She said she'd text you. It's in Seattle, a bomber of some sorts. I'm hoping to be home at some point tonight, but I'm honestly not sure that I'll even be back, 'cause one of my patients is in and out and I might have to go back into surgery with her later if she drops," Liv said, leading Delilah through the parking lot to her car.

"My phone died on the flight, but, I'll text her when it's back on," Delilah said. "I'll be okay. I just want to take a bath and read a book in bed with a cup of tea," Delilah said.

"I'm so jealous," Liv groaned, turning the engine on.

"You should be," Delilah grinned.

"JJ took your soulmate book with her for the case, by the way. You finished it, so, I figured it was fine," Liv said.

"It is, don't worry," Delilah nodded.

"Good," Liv sighed in relief.

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Delilah lay in bed a few hours later, having had a bath, gotten into pyjamas and made a cup of JJ's tea to drink while she read her book. The big light was off, the lamps at the bedside on to bathe the room in a dim glow so she could read the pages.

Delilah's phone vibrated beside her and she picked it up, smiling when she saw an incoming call from JJ. She'd tried to phone when her phone came back on, but JJ hadn't picked up, presumably busy working on their case.

"Hey," Delilah put the phone to her ear.

"Lilah," JJ said into the phone. "I just got back to the hotel. There's a whole bomber thing going on and he blew up a gas station, so, I've literally just finished damage control," JJ said.

"It's okay. How's the case looking?" Delilah asked.

"Honestly, not great. We don't have a clue who this guy is," JJ sighed. "But it's fine. We're gonna figure it out tomorrow. I'm too tired to think about it anymore. How was Jacksonville?"

"It was good. It was nice seeing them again. I missed them," Delilah said, resting her head on the headboard. "We talked about you."

"You did?" JJ asked, sounding more surprised than Delilah expected.

"Sorry. It's weird, me telling my dead boyfriend's parents about my new best friend," Delilah sighed.

"It's not weird. They're important to you. I just didn't think I'd be worth mentioning to them," JJ said.

"Why wouldn't I mention you? You're literally my best friend. Besides, they asked me about you. Apparently, Dave has been telling them everything Liv and I tell him when we phone him," Delilah said.

"That's literally so cute. Did they like me? Or the sound of me?" JJ asked, giggling quietly on the phone.

"They want to meet you. I said I'd sort it next time they're gonna visit," Delilah said.

"They want to meet me?" JJ asked.

"Yeah," Delilah said. "It's weird, I know. You don't have to. Sorry, I shouldn't have even brought it-"

"I want to. Meet them. Dylan's parents. They're important to you, and you're important to me, so," JJ said.

Delilah closed her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek. All she wanted to say were those three words, but those three words changed everything and, Nora and Colin's advice or not, she couldn't help but want to run away at the thought of everything being different than it was right now.

"I'm so lucky to have you in my life," Delilah mumbled.

"Lilah," JJ said softly. "I'm so lucky to have you. I... I wish I was at home right now. With you. I always feel better with you near me. I think we're starting to turn codependent," JJ chuckled.

"Well, you are obsessed with me, so," Delilah teased.

"Everybody is obsessed with you," JJ laughed. "Me included, yes. Whatever. It's what best friends do," JJ said.

"It is," Delilah agreed. "For the record, I'm kind of obsessed with you, too."

"Yeah, I figured. I'm pretty great," JJ laughed.

"You are," Delilah smiled.

"You sound tired. Are you in bed? Liv texted to say she's back at the hospital," JJ said.

"I don't know if I'm okay with you and Liv suddenly being besties. Are you trying to replace me with the older Bellerose? I know she's nice, but I am way funnier than Liv," Delilah said.

"She won't ever replace you. She just... I don't like her the way I like you. Don't ever worry about anyone replacing you. You're my favourite person," JJ said.

"You know, your future husband better respect my first place role in your life," Delilah said.

"If they don't, they're gone. Don't worry," JJ laughed.

"Your future kids, then. Can't get rid of them super easily," Delilah said.

"Well, I won't have to. Their aunt Lilah is gonna spoil them rotten, so, she will be first place in their lives, too. Even over their mom," JJ said.

"I love when my friends have kids. Raising kids is not fun. Giving them back is," Delilah said.

"Have some babysitting experience?" JJ laughed.

"Something like that," Delilah smiled.

She yawned, looking at the time on her phone.

"It's so late. We should sleep. I'm actually tired for once and you have a big case going on," Delilah said.

"That is a good idea. I can feel my eyes burning from staying open so long," JJ said.

"Aren't you blinking?" Delilah asked.

"I've been awake since six am," JJ said.

"Fair. Misunderstood," Delilah nodded. "Okay, I'll text you tomorrow. Ring me when you're back at the hotel or coming home," Delilah said.

"I will. Speak to you tomorrow, honey," JJ yawned.

"Speak to you tomorrow, Jayje."

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