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"if only my heart were as cold as i pretend it is, maybe i could get over this." - jessica katoff 

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Delilah sat in the therapists office the next morning, staring blankly ahead at the painting on the wall behind her therapist. It was of a pretty meadow, with a mountain in the background and flowers blooming from the leafy grass.

If she looked long enough, she could almost make out the brush strokes used to add such detail to the painting.

"You know, I get paid at the end of this session, either way, so, if you wanna waste your time staring at a painting, you can."

Delilah looked over at her therapist, a man she'd worked with over her time since joining the BAU. He was a Bureau appointed one, but nothing was shared with anyone unless Delilah gave permission or he feared she was in trouble.

His name was Vince Hugo and he was one of the only men in this world outside her family and friends that she trusted. Hell, she probably trusted him more than some of her family or friends. Vince knew more about Delilah than anyone, including Hotch, Gideon, Dave and Liv.

"How much was the painting?" Delilah said.

"About forty thousand? Commissioned, of course," Vince said.

"Of course," Delilah looked at him with a small smile. "Eat the rich, right?" she said.

"Honey, we are the rich," Vince laughed, raising an eyebrow at her. "Now, as much as I have come to adore that grumpy little face of yours, what caused you to need an emergency appointment after we agreed your mental stability was at an all time high just a few weeks ago?" he said.

"I am having several problems," Delilah said.

"Aren't you always, hon?" Vince tutted. "What is it? Is it Liv? Is she blurting your business all over the place, again? Or is it the secret love you're harboring for your straight bestie? Or is it the anniversary coming up? Twenty eight, Lilah, you're gonna be old," he said.

Delilah couldn't help but smile. Vince was one of the most professional therapists, one of the most professional people, in the world. Yet, he and Delilah had gotten to know each other very well and their relationship had developed from the stiff awkwardness into this comfortable space where they could joke about Delilah's trauma and work on it at the same time.

"Liv is getting annoying, lately. She keeps judging me for staying besties with JJ. Like, we work together. If I pull away, it'll ruin our work relationship and I'll end up transferring departments because it's too messy. And don't even get me started on this secret love thing, okay? We had a whole ass moment on the balcony a few cases ago, looking at the moon and just talking and, I swear, Vin, I was in gay panic," Delilah said.

"Liv is probably just trying to look out for you, but it's important for you to set boundaries on what she can and can't tease you about. Tell her to mind her own business and gossip about something else. And, the balcony? Watching the moon? Oh, Delilah, that is so sapphic! How are you surviving this torture?" Vince said.

"Barely, but pulling away from JJ is bad," Delilah said.

"It is, if you're doing it for the wrong reasons. It's not, if it's what you think is best," Vince said. "Now, that leaves us with the anniversary. Spill, Lilah."

"We had a case that ended last night. These kids were beaten to death in the woods. We didn't realise the killer was another kid. A twelve year old. Part of the case was searching this haunted house. It was on a cliff, no electricity, all creaky and old and dusty. When I looked out the window, there were trees everywhere," Delilah trailed off, leaning back in the seat.

Vince watched her, silent.

"I thought I saw balloons. Black balloons. I didn't. But, I swear, Vin, I looked at the trees and balloons were floating, and then I looked back and they weren't there," Delilah said, twisting her rings around her fingers.

"Did you feel dizzy? Physically unwell? On edge?" Vince said.

"I was obviously on edge. We were looking for a murderer in a haunted house with no electricity," Delilah said.

"Had you cleared the house at that point?" Vince said.

"Yes," Delilah said.

"So, you were physically safe. You moved to a window, saw the trees and the balloons, and then they were gone," Vince said.

"Yeah," Delilah said.

"Okay. I want to say that it's your mind playing tricks on you. Your body automatically responds to being in places like that because of your time away. I'm sure you were reminded of the cabin, being in a house in the middle of the woods, a house with murder victims linked to it," Vince said.

Delilah nodded.

"Trauma response," she said.

"You're also nearing the anniversary of when Dylan died. It's natural for your mind to create things that remind you of what happened close to anniversaries. It was around this time when you first went to the cabin," Vince said.

"I'm not upset about what happened to me. He didn't hurt me," Delilah said.

"Maybe not sexually, but your father did hurt you, Delilah," Vince said.

"I wasn't his target. Dylan was," Delilah said.

"And, what, you were a casualty along the way?" Vince said.

"A casualty requires death," Delilah said.

"You had no issue killing Isobel," Vince said.

Delilah chewed the inside of her cheek.

"That's different," Delilah said.

"Okay, I picked a bad expression. Point to Delilah. But you not being his target doesn't mean that you weren't one of his vic-"

"If you say the word victim, I will up and walk out of here," Delilah pointed at him, face stony and eyes narrowed. "I am not a fucking victim. I killed Isobel so I wouldn't be a victim," Delilah said.

Vince sighed, a sad look on his face as he looked at Delilah.

"Sweetheart, you can't kill your inner child, and that's who Isobel always will be to you. Isobel was a victim. Just because you changed your name and made a new life for yourself doesn't mean you can ignore what got you here. You can run, Lilah, but you can't hide forever. It's going to catch up to you. Why wait when we can talk about it, now? Before it kills you?" Vince said.

Delilah stared at him for a few seconds, heart pounding loudly as the blood rushed to her head. Her hands were hot where they were crossed over her chest, lips turned down in a tense glare. Her jaw ached from keeping her mouth shut and not retaliating with something that would end up with her getting pulled off field work, even if that may be for the best considering she was debating punching Vince for saying the truth she was trying to run away from.

God, maybe she needed to go to a psych hospital. Maybe she needed some time off work, time alone where she could lock herself in a library and spend a month filling her mind with beautiful stories with happy endings because she loved happy endings, even if she was never going to get one.

Then again, she probably wouldn't come back to work if she could read her stories, all day. Not enough of their cases had happy endings and Delilah was getting sick of seeing dead bodies and grieving families and friends.

Delilah looked over at the painting again. She let herself relax as she took a few deep breaths, though her back stayed rigid and her arms stayed crossed.

"I think I might start running again," Delilah said.

"Oh? So, you can push yourself past your limits and torture your body as well as your mind and heart?" Vince said.

"You're such a judgmental bitch," Delilah said.

"I'm sorry if I upset you," Vince said. "I am. That was not my intention. Though, we both know that the only way to get things through your head is to say it how it is. I think you've been running from your past for fourteen years, and things are finally starting to catch up to you. And, if you want my opinion on why that is-"

"I don't, but you're gonna give it to me, anyway, right?" Delilah said.

"Honey, you called me for therapy. You asked for my opinion," Vince said.

"Point to Vince," Delilah muttered.

"Anyway! I think it's because you have someone you feel safe with, someone who lets you process your emotions without talking and doesn't judge you for your trauma responses. You have JJ and your body is coming out of fight or flight mode. Your body wants to rest. Your mind wants to rest. Your heart wants to rest. Are you going to let yourself rest? Or will you keep pushing until you crash and burn?" Vince said.

"In another life, you would've been a poet," Delilah commented, looking back over at him.

"Hm, I would be a brilliant poet. It's never too late," Vince said.

His watch beeped and he sighed.

"I'm afraid our session is over, honey. Would you like to book in for another?" Vince said.

"I'll text you if I need one," Delilah said.

"Text me, even if you don't. I want updates on you giving Liv boundaries," Vince said.

"You got it," Delilah stood up, turning to walk towards the door.

"Delilah, my question?" Vince said.

"It's a good question," Delilah said, leaning against the door. "Don't know if I'm ready to break my own heart again, though."

"Well, I'll be here when you're ready to break it, and until then," Vince smiled.

"Thanks, asshole," Delilah said, smiling back as she left the room.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket, turning it back on now she was out of therapy. Immediately, notifications started coming in. Three missed calls from JJ, one from Derek, then a message from Hotch telling her to phone him.

Delilah clicked on Hotch's number, putting the phone to her ear as she walked through the first floor of Quantico towards the elevators.

"Hotch."

"Hey, you told me to call you?" Delilah said.

"Yes. How was your morning?" Hotch said.

"It was fine. What's up?" Delilah said.

"We have a case," Hotch said.

"Meet you at the jet?"

"Please."

"Be there soon."

•

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Delilah sat on the jet, flicking through the file JJ had quickly made up for her with the information about the case. Hotch was sat opposite Delilah in the booth, JJ sat next to her, with the others scattered around.

Elle wasn't here again. Delilah hadn't heard anything from her, all of her calls and messages going unanswered, and all Hotch had said was that she was leaving the team.

Delilah ran her hand through her hair, blinking a few times down at the page.

"Brooke Chambers, Polly Homefeldt and Kelly Seymour were having a sleepover at Brooke's house while her dad was away for the weekend. Kelly and Polly phoned home during the pep rally with the same message about going on a roadtrip returning home on friday," Delilah mumbled to herself.

"Both calls were made from Brooke's cell, which has since been turned off, and there's been no activity on their cells or atm cards since Saturday," JJ said.

"Why didn't Brooke leave a message for her dad? He was away for the weekend? He'd be back before Friday. Unless he was going to be gone for longer. Though, the unsub would've had to know that. If he's prepared enough to script a message for Kelly and Polly and he knew they wouldn't be at the pep rally, can we assume that he's been stalking them? Or, at least, he watched them enough to know they were good targets?" Delilah said.

"That's a fair assumption," Hotch said.

"They've been gone for five days. I'd be worried, if the message didn't say they'd be back Friday," Delilah said. "And we're sure they didn't just up and go on a real roadtrip?" Delilah said.

"They wouldn't," JJ said, something firm and biting in her tone at the same time.

Delilah looked at her, an eyebrow raised. JJ's face was blank, but Delilah could see her eyes were teary and there was a pleading look in them that was begging Delilah to trust her on this one.

Delilah nodded.

"Okay. Well, where do we wanna start with this?" she asked, turning to look at Hotch.

"We'll see what the local PD say when we arrive and go from there," Hotch said.

Delilah nodded.

"Okay," Delilah said.

"Where were you this morning, Lilah?" Derek said, coming to sit beside Hotch.

"Therapy," Delilah said honestly, pulling one knee up to her chest and wrapping her arm around it.

"You good?" Derek said.

"I'm great," Delilah said. "The spicy deja vu is treating me really well right now," Delilah said.

"Delilah, I've told you to stop calling PTSD spicy deja vu," Hotch sighed, looking up from his file.

"You also told me that I can't drink eight tequila shots in a row. You were wrong," Delilah said.

"You vomited for two hours when you got home," Hotch said. "And you were in my home. With Haley. And Liv," he said.

"I really think it bonded us, Aaron. You, holding my hair back. Me, hunched over your toilet hacking my guts up. Liv, washing the sick out of Haley's hair. Haley, vomiting in the bathtub next to me," Delilah said.

Hotch stared at her, lip twitching as he tried to restrain his smile. Derek outright laughed, JJ giggling along and Spencer and Gideon sharing smiles as they looked over.

"Your twenty fifth birthday definitely was a fun night," Hotch said.

"Dude, I know," Delilah grinned.

"You still shouldn't call it spicy deja vu, though," Hotch said.

"I like it," Derek grinned. "Makes it sound fun."

"It does, doesn't it? Gives it a certain charm," Delilah winked at Derek.

"It does," Derek said.

"Children," Hotch mumbled to himself, shaking his head as he looked back at his files. "Children, all of you."

•

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Delilah, Derek, Gideon and Spencer pulled up at the house of Brooke Chambers, getting out of the SUV as a man walked over to them.

"Hi, I'm sergeant Sykes, Tom, if you want," a man greeted them, nodding his head once.

"Derek Morgan. Agent Bellerose, Agent Gideon, Dr. Reid," Derek said, pointing them out.

"Jason Gideon. How are you?" Gideon said.

"Hope we haven't brought you folks out here for nothing," Sykes said.

"You don't believe the girls are missing?" Spencer asked.

"It's not really the kind of thing that happens around here, you know?" Sykes said.

"You'd be surprised to know how many times we hear that," Gideon chuckled.

"Still, I've been through the house myself and nothing looks out of place at all," Sykes said.

"You talk to chambers, the father?" Derek said.

"Haven't located him yet," Sykes said.

"Is that unusual?" Derek asked.

"Chambers is a lawyer. He's always out of town on business," Sykes said.

"October 27th. That's tomorrow," Gideon pointed at a homemade sign on the fence with a date painted on it.

"State championship football game. North Mammon is finally back in it," Sykes grinned.

"Show us inside?" Derek asked, motioning to the house.

Sykes nodded, turning to lead them inside.

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Delilah looked around the house with Derek, Spencer and Gideon. The four of them and Sykes were in Brooke's bedroom, looking around for any sign of forced entry.

"You were right, sergeant. No forced entry, no sign of struggle. If someone did attack these girls, they chose to comply pretty fast," Derek said.

"If," Sykes repeated.

"There were only two ways to immediately get compliance without the use of force, that's either the threat of force or previously established trust," Spencer said.

"Whoever it was, it took a lot of planning," Derek said. "Detailed information about the girls. When Brooke's father was gone, when the other parents were out."

"How do you mean?" Sykes asked.

"He knew they'd have to leave messages. With that script, they couldn't have talked to the parents directly," Derek said.

"Close family friend or a stalker," Delilah said.

"The folks here look after each other. There's no way an outsider stalked these girls without being noticed," Sykes said.

"We have to assume the people who abducted these girls were members of the community. Would have needed a spot to watch her from," Gideon said, peering out of the window.

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Delilah climbed up the last step onto the shed roof across the street from Brooke's house, looking around the roof as Spencer climbed up behind her. Derek and Gideon were already up there with Sykes.

"You can see all the windows from here," Derek said, looking around.

"Someone's spent a lot of time here," Gideon said, eyeing the pile of cigarette butts on the roof.

"Damn," Sykes muttered.

"Has it rained since saturday night?" Gideon asked.

"No," Sykes said.

Spencer pulled out his phone, putting it to his ear.

"Garcia, we're sending you some cigarettes. We need some butts rushed to the lab for DNA analysis," Spencer said. He nodded and then hung up the phone.

"Do you really think someone from our town's involved in this?" Sykes said.

"You said it yourself, an outsider would have been noticed," Gideon said.

Sykes' phone rang and Delilah turned, watching him answer it and put it to his ear.

"Sergeant Sykes," he said. "What?" his face dropped.

•

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"It's covered in dust. It must've been here for quite a while," Spencer said.

Delilah moved towards Brooke's car dumped at the side of the highway in an empty parking lot, looking at it with a small frown.

"So much for the spontaneous road trip," Derek said.

"This isn't a very traveled area," Gideon said, watching Spencer and Delilah start rooting through it.

"Not really," Sykes said.

"So, the car's left in town where it would eventually be found," Derek said.

"Eventually," Gideon said.

"Gideon, it's from the football team. It says KE on the brim," Spencer said, holding up a cap he'd found in the car.

"Could be Kip Engler," Sykes said.

"Who?" Delilah said.

"Ah, he's the quarterback. He and Brooke were an item," Sykes said. The profilers shared a look. "What, you think he had something to do with this?" Sykes frowned.

"Was he at the pep rally saturday night?" Gideon asked.

"Yeah, he was the star of it," Sykes said.

"Then no," Gideon said. "But I think we know the kind of person we're looking for."

•

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Delilah and the team gathered in the local PD bullpen an hour later, all ready to deliver the little profile they did have. Delilah had helped herself to a cup of coffee and was leaning against one of the walls, sipping away with JJ at her side.

"Brooke, Kelly and Polly have been missing for 5 days. Usually in cases like this we wouldn't expect to find them alive However, in this case, we don't believe that to be true," Hotch said.

"The person responsible spent considerable time and energy planning the abduction. He did not do all this work to simply kill the girls once he had them. Otherwise, he would've done it at the Chamber's house. He certainly seemed to know he had the time," Derek said.

"And he had Kelly and Polly reference friday in the messages they left for their parents," Spencer said.

"We think the unsub has something planned for the night of your championship game," Derek said.

"We are certain the unsub is someone from this community," Gideon said.

"How do you know that?" a man said, catching their attention.

"Because, Mr. Chambers, he didn't have your daughter leave you a phone message or a note, did he?" Gideon said.

"Not that I know of," Mr Chambers said.

"'Cause he knew you'd be out of town for a while. Just like he knew the dump site for the car would eventually be found. Everything points to him giving himself time," Gideon said.

"Time for what?" Mr Chambers asked.

"I don't know yet, sir," Gideon said.

"Well, what's been done about it?" Chambers scoffed.

"Sir, I'm with the FBI. We're going to need some information," JJ walked over to him quickly.

"Wait a minute. If someone from this town's taken my Brooke, I wanna know what's being done about it," Chambers said, sidestepping JJ to walk over to Gideon.

"Yes, I know, sir. If you'd just come with me. I will explain everything. All right?" JJ stopped him before he got to Hotch, raising an eyebrow at him until he nodded. "Thank you," she said, leading him down the hallway.

"Predatory abductors like this unsub are intelligent, patient and cautious. They like to watch everything : the victims, the families, the police. He's surely watching us now and may even attempt to inject himself into our investigation," Spencer said.

"We also know that predatory abductors prepare a nest, prior to the abduction. A remote cabin, an underground bunker, a secret secure place that only he has access to. Designed to confine and conceal his prey once his hunting is done," Gideon said.

"Should we be looking for this nest?" an officer asked.

"You'd never find it," Delilah said.

"For his nest, predatory abductor John Jemelske built a sophisticated dungeon complex under a suburban syracuse home, where he documented every detail of the torture he carried out upon the victims he kept there for 3 years," Spencer said.

"The man who kidnapped these girls has a relationship or a job that permitted him to get close enough to watch them," Delilah said.

"We must focus on those people who had access," Spencer said.

"A family member, a teacher, a next door neighbor, it sounds cliché, but often it is the person you least suspect," Hotch said.

"One more thing to remember. We're looking for someone who was not at the pep rally. Ask the community, I'm sure somebody videotaped it. You can go through the tapes, start eliminating townspeople," Gideon said.

Spencer stepped aside to answer a phonecall, JJ hurrying back into the room.

"I'm sorry, sir. Mr. Chambers just took off," JJ told Gideon.

"Where did he go?" Gideon asked.

"I don't know," JJ said.

"That was Garcia. She just ran the cigarette butts through CODIS and got a name : Donald Haas?" Spencer said.

"Don Haas is the girls' soccer coach," the chief of the local PD said.

"Was coach Haas at the pep rally?" Gideon asked.

"I don't remember seeing him there, no," the chief said.

"Where would coach Haas be right now?" Gideon asked.

"The school," the chief said.

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