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"i was the girl who never understood who she was to people." - carol rifka brunt

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Delilah watched Rawlings, Mehtevas, as Derek and Katie led him down the hallway of his school, Gideon on the other side of them.

"I wish you would inform me what exactly I'm being charged with," Rawlings snapped.

"Anything I can possibly stick to you," Derek said.

"I haven't done anything," Rawlings said.

"You're an educated man, Mr. Rawlings. You know you're in trouble here," Katie said.

"I believe I just walked outside my school. Is that a crime now?" Rawlings scoffed.

"You know where he is?" Katie said, producing a photograph of Peter staring at the camera in the room he was being held on.

"How could anyone hurt something so..." Rawlings trailed off as he stared at the picture, body language shifting despite his best intentions.

He was getting turned on at the sight of a child locked in a room for auction.

"Pure?" Gideon said.

"You sent this image to Kevin," Katie said.

"Well, that was wrong of me, I know, but I was so shocked. I wanted to try to save this poor boy. I thought Hugz... Kevin... might know him. That's why I sent him the link to the website, see if he knew," Rawlings said.

Delilah scoffed.

"Please. You were trying to save him?" Derek snapped, getting up in Rawlings' face.

Delilah had half the mind to do the same herself. This kind of man was exactly the kind of man her father was. She wanted to let Derek attack the prick, but she couldn't. Not yet.

"Help search his office. I got this," Delilah told Derek.

Derek stared at her for a few seconds before turning and walking into his office, leaving Delilah, Gideon and Katie with Rawlings.

"How were you going to save Peter?" Katie asked.

"Peter? Is that his name? Peter? I wanted to save them both. Kevin, too," Rawlings said.

Delilah stared at him for a few seconds before shaking her head, walking into Rawlings' office with Spencer, Elle and Derek.

"Tell me we got something we can nail this son of a bitch on," Derek said.

"Not unless we can break the password on this guy's computer," Elle said.

"Call Garcia," Derek said.

"Take too long," Spencer said.

"Come on, genius. Do something genius-like," Derek said.

"If this guy does have child porn on his computer and we type in the wrong password, it could trigger a virus that wipes the entire hard drive," Spencer said.

"What's he saying out there?" Elle asked, looking out of the window at Rawlings.

"He's a preferential pedophile who claims he's trying to save them," Delilah said.

"Save them. Save them!" Spencer mumbled, getting to his feet and grabbing a piece of paper and a sharpie.

He started writing SAVE THEM on the paper against the window, Delilah smirking slightly when she caught on to his brainwave.

Delilah walked to the doorway of the office, watching Rawlings' face as he stared at Spencer writing on the page.

"Mehtevas," Delilah said.

Rawlings' face crumpled, hand moving over his mouth. He was guilty and he knew it.

•

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"Mr. Rawlings, have a seat," Derek said, lifting a seat in front of Rawlings' laptop as Gideon and Katie ushered the pedophile into the office where Elle, Spencer, Delilah and Derek were stood.

"Your laptop," Elle said, sliding it over to him as he walked over.

Derek's phone rang and he picked it up.

"Yeah, it's Morgan. Okay, hold on, Garcia. Hold on," he said, leaving the room quickly.

"This is a... Research. I'm writing a book," Rawlings said, staring away from the laptop as child pornography started playing on the computer.

"Sit down," Elle scoffed.

"I swear to you, this is all just research!" Rawlings snapped, sinking into his seat.

"No, it's not research. It's a hundred years in a federal penitentiary," Delilah said.

"I'd like to make a deal," Rawlings looked at her.

"No deals," Delilah smiled coldly at him.

"All you have is a very, very small amount of good will," Gideon said.

"Tell me about Peter," Katie said.

"I was contacted by the man who's holding him. I didn't search out this boy. I didn't go looking for this," Rawlings said.

"Give me a name," Katie said.

"Well, I only know the screen name. It's manchild," Rawlings said.

"Did you bid on Peter?" Gideon said. Rawlings stayed silent.

"How much?" Katie asked.

"8,000 dollars. But it was only in order to save him," Rawlings said.

"You the high bidder?" Delilah asked.

"I... I think so, yes. I was, anyway. I'm supposed to go back online and contact him on his web site and... Get the address," Rawlings mumbled.

"So you can inspect the merchandise?" Elle snarked.

"Look, this child is being auctioned off, and I am trying to save him-" Rawlings started.

"Trying to save him!" Katie mocked him. "He'd have given you a code. What is it?" she asked.

Rawlings stared at her.

"Come on," Katie said.

"I have a family. I have children of my own. I love children. I would never harm them," Rawlings protested.

"In your pursuit to save them, you think you could have avoided having sex with them?" Katie snapped at him.

"Mr. Rawlings. The code," Gideon said quietly.

"Butterfly," Rawlings snapped, looking away from the computer.

Delilah grabbed the laptop, moving to the chatroom of the Peter auction website. She started typing a message.

"No one is going to outbid me. I'd like to see my friend now."

She sent it into the chat, leaning back in her seat as she looked at Rawlings, disgust clear on her face. He looked away from her eyes, shrinking in on himself in the seat.

"You know, prison isn't very nice to people who rape kids," Delilah commented, watching Rawlings flinch at her words. "Wait, I'm so sorry. You were trying to save them. I'm sure all your fellow prisoners will understand your logic the way you do," she said sarcastically.

Rawlings didn't respond. Delilah knew he wouldn't.

She looked back at the laptop, typing again as officers pulled Rawlings from the room.

"Where can I meet the boy?" she sent into the chat.

She stared at the computer for a few more seconds before the screen closed, an ERROR 404 message coming up on the screen.

"Fuck," Delilah muttered.

"What happened?" Gideon asked, moving towards the computer.

"I don't know," Spencer mumbled.

"He broke off contact," Delilah said.

"We got reporters outside of the school. This thing is all over the news," Derek walked back into the room quickly, looking panicked.

"My god, that's why the site went down. He knows," Katie said.

"What do we do, now?" Spencer said.

"We think outside of the box," Delilah said.

"As in?" Elle said.

"Give me a minute, okay? We need to speak to Hotch and Garcia," Delilah said.

•

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Delilah sat in the backseat of the SUV Hotch was driving, Gideon in the front and Katie in the backseat with Delilah. They were heading to Mount Pleasant to follow up on other leads.

"Think this guy's gonna panic?" Gideon said. 

"I don't know. Depends on his comfort level. Maybe getting close to auction time, he can wait it out. I know one thing: I can't lose Peter again," Katie said.

"Well, let's just hope JJ bought us some time," Hotch said.

They drove in silence for a few minutes before Hotch's phone rang.

"Hotch," he picked it up. He nodded, then said thanks and hung up the phone. "The site went dark for a few minutes and then came back online," he said.

"So, he believes the story JJ fed to the media," Gideon said.

"But we've only got an hour left," Hotch said.

"Right," Gideon said. "Tadpoles are affiliated with a church. When we get to Mount Pleasant, Elle and Morgan should go to the church. We'll take the school. Peter may be registered there," Gideon said.

"That sounds good," Hotch said.

"I gave up on him. A year ago, I gave upon looking for him. There were so many other kids," Katie said.

"Katie, I'm sure you did what you could," Gideon said.

"You ever ask yourself how you make a decision like that? How we come to the conclusion that it's time to move on to the next kid?  How do you give yourself that kind of permission? What's happened to that boy in the year I stopped looking for him?" Katie asked.

Delilah stared out of the window, twisting her rings around her fingers.

"You can't save everybody, Katie. You've just got to make a call and pray it's the right one," Delilah said.

"How are you coping?" Katie asked.

"Great. I just finished three months of therapy and I feel way better," Delilah said.

"You went to therapy? That's grown up," Katie said.

"I've grown up. I'm not the same twenty one year old you met," Delilah smiled.

"No, you're not. Do you enjoy the BAU? Or do you miss us?" Katie asked.

"I do miss you, but not enough to move departments," Delilah said.

"There's always a place for you if you want it, Lilah. We'd be lucky to have you back," Katie said.

"Back as Delilah or Alia?" Delilah said.

"Delilah," Katie said.

"Thanks, but I'm good," Delilah said. "It's nice having adult victims, sometimes. Changes up the spicy deja vu I get," Delilah said.

"It's PTSD. Please stop calling it spicy deja vu," Hotch said.

"It's funnier that way," Delilah said.

"It's... Okay," Hotch sighed.

•

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Delilah held a photograph up of Peter to the receptionist for the local school near the Tadpoles club Peter was wearing the shirt of. Gideon, Katie and Hotch were with her, while Spencer, Elle and Derek had gone to the church.

"This boy's in a terrible state," the receptionist said.

"But do you recognize him? Please look carefully," Gideon said.

"You said his appearance may have been altered?" the receptionist asked.

"First or second grade student," Delilah nodded.

"Let me check my records," she said.

Delilah and the others followed her into the reception area, watching her move behind the counter and start flicking through files in drawers.

"This is everyone who registered for the second grade," she said, producing a file and holding it out to Delilah.

"That's a lot of names," Delilah stared down at the file.

"What about the kids who didn't register?" Katie said.

"Excuse me?" the receptionist asked.

"Were there any first graders who didn't register for second grade?" Delilah said.

"I imagine there were some transfers," she said, moving back to the files. She pulled one out, nodding. "Yes. Yes, there were two transfers. Ashley Waters and Charlie Sparks," she said.

"Charlie Sparks," Katie said. "Does it say where Charlie's records went?" she asked.

"His father picked them up himself," the receptionist said.

"Can you describe the father?" Katie asked.

"Oh, dear, no. I'd have no idea," the receptionist said.

"Thank you," Hotch said.

They quickly left the office, heading back to the SUV to meet the others.

•

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Delilah leaned against the SUV beside Derek, twisting her rings as the group discussed what they'd discovered.

"The name the school has is Charlie Sparks," Hotch said.

"No Sparks in any of the phone directories," Gideon said.

"Garcia can't even find a Sparks within 100 miles for the last 10 years," Derek said.

"Probably not his real name anyway," Katie said.

"The school said he may have moved away," Gideon said.

"Then we start over again," Katie said.

"We don't have a lot of time left," Elle said.

"Guys, maybe we're looking at this the wrong way," Spencer said.

"What do you mean?" Elle asked.

"The behavior, it's odd, right? The unsub apparently listed this kid in school and the Tadpoles until about a year ago. At that point he had pictures of him online in a regular looking room. But now he's in a prison like room with no windows, no doors, completely hidden," Spencer said.

"Preferential pedophiles don't change overnight," Katie said.

"So, what happened a year ago to make him change his behavior so much?" Hotch asked.

"Fear. Katie almost caught him. You probably talked to him. The unsub's in your records," Gideon said.

Derek's watch beeped and he sighed.

"Guys, we just ran out of time," he said.

"I never really had a good suspect. I only did some general interviews with child offenders on the East Coast," Katie said, pulling her phone to her ear.

"One of them was the right guy," Hotch said.

"Amanda, hey, I need you to pull all of the original files on Peter's case. Somewhere in my office. Try my desk. I need the names of everyone I interviewed," Katie said into the phone.

"Have her call Penelope Garcia at the BAU. She'll be able to tell us if we can cross any off," Derek said.

"You got it? Thanks," Katie said, ending the call.

•

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"Garcia, you're sure?" Derek said into his phone, pacing the road they were still gathered at ten minutes later. "Okay, no. No, no. I got it all. I got it all. All right, thanks, baby. You're the best," he said, hanging up the phone. "All right, guys. Listen up. We might have something. 12 men were interviewed. 8 are back in prison, one is dead. One lives in california, and two have last known addresses within 10 minutes of us. A Patrick Forest and a Michael Earlson," he said.

"Patrick Forest isn't smart enough to put this all together," Katie said.

"What about Michael Earlson?" Hotch said.

"Definitely," Katie said.

They piled into the cars again, speeding off towards Earlson's address Garcia had put into their cars for them. Delilah pulled on her FBI bulletproof vest as they went, making sure her gun was loaded.

All too soon, they pulled up at a house, blocking off a blue minivan that a man was driving. He jumped out, the others quickly getting out and running towards him.

Delilah ran around the back of his van, extending her arm as he ran right at her. Her arm smacked him in the neck and he stumbled back into Derek's arms, Derek grabbing him and shoving him on the front of the SUV to arrest him.

Delilah left Derek to it. She followed Katie to the back of the man's truck, watching Katie open the trunk and stare at a large plastic box. Katie opened the buckles, Delilah putting her gun away with one hand and opening the lid of the box with her other.

Peter was staring up at them from inside the box, eyes wide with panic and a toy army man clutched in his shaky hands.

"Daddy!" Peter yelled.

"It's okay, it's okay," Katie said.

"Daddy!" the little boy yelled.

"You're safe now. I got you. I got you," Katie sighed in relief, looking at the little boy, then Delilah. "Thank you," she said.

"Anytime," Delilah said, squeezing her shoulder. "Let's get him back to Quantico," she said.

•

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Delilah parked the SUV in front of the address the Alexandria field office had given her for the new foster parents of Kevin. She got out and locked it, putting her hands in her pockets as she walked up the driveway. She rang the doorbell, shifting on her feet as she waited for someone to open the door.

An older woman greeted her when the door did open, with greying red hair and a motherly smile. Her eyes had crinkles at the corners and her body language was relaxed and at ease. Delilah had asked Penelope for a background on the foster parents on the drive over.

They had a good reputation. Delilah could tell the body language matched, so far.

"You must be Agent Bellerose. I'm Lindsay. The social worker said you'd be coming by to see Kevin. Come on in. He's upstairs in his new room. Third door on the right," she said.

"Thank you. You can call me Delilah," Delilah said, stepping inside and looking around at the photographs on the wall.

"Would you like some coffee? We've already eaten, but we have some leftovers, or I can whip you up something, if you'd prefer," Lindsay said.

"I'm okay, thank you. I'll just see Kevin and then get going. I don't want to overwhelm you all on the first night," Delilah said.

"Of course," Lindsay smiled.

Delilah headed upstairs and walked down the hallway to the third door on the right, knocking twice.

"Kevin? It's Delilah," she said.

"Come in," Kevin said.

Delilah opened the door and stepped inside. The room was quite nice, all things considered. The walls were painted a navy blue colour, with a big window and a window seat opposite the double bed. Walk in wardrobes were open to reveal several hangers of new clothes, a bag that must've been Kevin's set in the bottom beside his dirty converse.

Kevin was sat at the desk, fiddling with a lego set open on the desk with the instructions. Delilah walked over, looking down at the set.

"Lego Star Wars, nice," Delilah said.

"She let me pick something to keep myself busy with. They have a whole box of toys for their foster kids," Kevin said. "And she let me pick my room. There's no other kids, right now, so, I had four to pick from. Four!" Kevin said, looking up at Delilah. "She's gonna take me shopping tomorrow, too, to pick out some more clothes and school things. I've got to go back to school," Kevin said.

"School is good. Opens doors for the future," Delilah said. "Besides, you'll be able to make friends and be around other kids your age. Maybe you'll start football or join the robotics club," she said.

"There's a robotics club?" Kevin asked.

"Oh, yeah. I looked at the school they're enrolling you in. It's good," Delilah nodded.

"Cool," Kevin mumbled.

Delilah turned to sit on the desk away from the lego, watching Kevin fiddle with the pieces.

"We got Peter," Delilah said. "He's safe. I can't tell you much, but he was taken when he was little and he's meeting his mom again in an hour, or so," Delilah said.

"Really?" Kevin looked up.

"Yeah. He's safe. You helped, too. So, thank you, on behalf of my team and of Agent Cole. I know she was a bit snappy with you today," Delilah said.

"I deserved it. I should've helped sooner," Kevin said.

"You were scared. It's a reasonable reaction, all things considered. And you still helped. Doesn't matter when. We weren't too late," Delilah said.

Kevin leaned back in the desk chair, putting two lego pieces together.

"Am I in trouble?" Kevin asked.

"No. Like you said, you're a minor. You didn't know what you were doing. You will be monitored online, going forward, and any more offences like pornography or distributing it will get you a one way ticket to jail. You've also gotta have regular visits from the social worker, too, and they'll probably go through your tech, as well," Delilah said.

"That's fair," Kevin said. "I don't want to do it, anymore," he said.

"Good," Delilah smiled. "You've learnt your lesson. We can't ask for more than that. But, you do understand why this is wrong, why sharing those images and doing those videos is illegal for a reason?" she said.

"Because it hurts people," Kevin said. Delilah nodded.

"Yeah, and because we want to protect kids. Kids just like you and Peter. We did that, today. You did that, today," Delilah said. "Why did you do it? The camming?" she asked.

Kevin shrugged, looking down at his lap.

"I don't know. I needed to survive, needed the money they'd pay me. I... I didn't totally hate the attention, either," Kevin mumbled.

Delilah nodded.

"I get that," she said.

"You do?" Kevin looked up at her.

"Yeah. Your dad never gave you any attention. Good attention, at least. And, yeah, these guys didn't have good intentions, but they gave you the attention you craved and they couldn't physically hurt you like your dad did. You were looking for something to fill the void your dad left," Delilah said.

"It didn't work," Kevin said.

"It doesn't. Not forever, anyway," Delilah said.

"How do I stop? Wanting the attention?" Kevin said.

"Honestly? You have to give it time. Therapy might help, too. I can sort that out, if you're interested in it. I think it'd be good. They can explain things in a way that make sense and help you figure out what you need to change about your life. They teach you to replace bad coping mechanisms with better ones, how not to hate yourself when you look in the mirror," Delilah said.

Kevin just stared at her for a few more seconds.

"I have a therapist," Delilah said.

"You do?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah," Delilah said. "My dad was like yours, kind of. Both of them were bad people. And I was like you. I didn't do the camming stuff, but I had my own bad ways of coping. I blamed myself for everything that happened. And therapy has helped me come to terms with it. I don't hate myself when I see my dad's smile in the mirror anymore. But I wouldn't have gotten better without my therapist. There are just some things you can't deal with alone," Delilah said.

"You can find me one? A therapist?" Kevin said.

"If you want to see one," Delilah said.

"But they're so expensive. What if Lindsay won't pay for it?" Kevin asked.

"Don't you worry about money. If you want it, I'll set it up," Delilah said.

Kevin nodded.

"I want to get better. I don't want to be like my dad," Kevin said.

"I'll set it up," Delilah nodded. "Have you been feeling okay? Here? You like it?" Delilah said.

"It's a lot, but Lindsay is nice," Kevin said. "I think it'll be okay, in a few days."

"Yeah, you're adjusting to your new surroundings. You'll settle down in a few days. At least you're not starting school for a week. You can build more lego," Delilah smiled.

Kevin smiled, nodding as he looked back at the lego set.

"I can build lego," he said.

He put a few more bricks into place before looking at Delilah.

"Thank you," he said.

"What for?" Delilah frowned.

"For not being mad at me for what I've done," Kevin said quietly. "For coming and checking on me."

"You're a victim here, too, Kevin. I can't be mad at you for that," Delilah said. "And I promised I'd come and see you. I don't break promises," Delilah said.

Kevin smiled.

"Yeah," he said.

Delilah slid off the desk, picking up a pen out of a pot on the desk and a piece of paper. She scribbled down the phone number to her most used burner phone, handing it over to Kevin.

"You call me if you need anything. I'll check in. And I'll give Lindsay the details for your therapy," she said.

Kevin nodded.

"Thank you, Delilah," he said.

"Thank you, Kevin," Delilah smiled at him.

She left his bedroom and closed the door, heading downstairs. Lindsay was in the kitchen putting away dishes, beckoning Delilah in when she saw her.

"I've spoke to Kevin. He wants to start therapy," Delilah said, stepping into the kitchen. "I'll get your number and send over the details when I've arranged it all. I'll handle the payment, too. He's gonna need the best," Delilah said.

"That's very kind of you, Delilah," Lindsay smiled.

"Of course. Uh, I've got a long drive back to Quantico, so, I'm gonna head out. Thank you for letting me visit Kevin. I'll text you in the next few days, and then you can text me if you need anything or have any questions about anything," Delilah said.

"Thank you. I'll see you out," Lindsay said.

Delilah left the house, saying goodnight to Lindsay and walking back to the SUV. She pulled open the door, turning back to look at the house. Kevin was sat in his window seat upstairs, waving at Delilah. She waved up at him, getting into the SUV and turning the engine on to go home.

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