\ Three Years Ago \

An-chan was the first to catch sight of Kageyama in the morning at school, she smiled and waited for the girl he was glued to by the hip to emerge from behind him but he was alone. His face was grim, worrisome and he kept his head down. He didn't make eye contact with anyone in the class and just like it was pulling himself to it, he walked in a straight line right to his desk and sat down.

An-chan was confused but she figured that maybe you had gotten sick overnight since you were perfectly fine yesterday, Riko-chan, however, didn't want to wait to find out why their close friend wasn't making her dazzling appearance in the morning, "Kageyama-kun, where's [Lastname]-chan?"

With a distant shrug, the young male unzipped his bag to grab out a notebook, placing it carelessly on the desk when he answered in sour tone, "She isn't feeling well, apparently."

He noticed An-chan tilting her head, confused as she leaned forward to ease her curiosity, "'Apparently'?"

Kageyama huffed before the girls. He, too, was confused. He wasn't sure why he heard all that commotion when he knocked on the front door of your home. He didn't know why he could hear two people trying to console someone that sounded exactly like you and he didn't like it when it wasn't you that answered the door in your uniform but it was actually your mother.

'Sorry Kageyama-kun, [Name] isn't feeling well today.'

"[Name] doesn't get sick. She just-.. she rarely gets sick." He looked away stubbornly, not liking the way the conversation was going. It was too saddening for him to think about and he was lucky because before Riko-san could say anything, the siren rang.

The teacher was in the front as students came in class, the door slid open and closed every few seconds when another pupil walked in. Each of them noticing the absence of the desk next to the window. They looked to Kageyama, the scary look upon his face as he glared at them shamelessly causing them get chills.

That goes for the three boys as well, the ones that were placed on the top of Kageyama's shit-list. They were snickering as they walked in, their eyes going towards their seats after seeing the lack of the girl that seemed to radiate in their class. They only thought she was annoying, galling. She wasn't anything special to them, if anything she was actually the opposite. Her whole presence was a bore and they didn't understand how she had so many friends.

"The fatty isn't here! More food for us!" They were referring to the cafeteria even though most people knew that you'd bring homemade bento's to eat in class - one for you and one for Kageyama. You always offered some to your friends while Kageyama would stuff his face in silence beside you. Everyone loved to place their desks around your own and they also adored the smile that lit up on your face as they did so

Kageyama made a face and pouted to himself in anger, "One more word and that's a detention!"

He sunk in his seat, listening to the fake apologies towards their teacher when they seemed to take large, confident strides to their desks. Luckily for Kageyama, they didn't sit near him. The teacher looked towards Kageyama when he only looked at his notebook, it was clear to see that he was worried about you, that he was feeling down all because you weren't there to make him feel better with a glance, a glance alone.

Sensei began the roll call but to her students surprise, she stopped just before saying a name. She heard distant yells and looked towards the door when her class began hearing it too, Kageyama perking up in his seat at the sound of the voice,

"WAAAAAAAHHHHHH~!"

In she came, she meaning you. A slam against the door before it slid open when you nearly fell from the sprint. Your hair was wild. You were puffing, breathing in deeply to relax your heart while your pale face juxtaposed with the deep painted across your red cheeks, saluting with a crooked smile as you dragged your bag behind you towards your seat, "Sorry I'm late sensei~"

"It won't happen again, right?"

"Yes sir!- I mean ma'am- I mean mi-.."

"Be quiet [Lastname]-san." She deadpanned at you, wincing as people around you muffled their laughter causing your cheeks grow more pink; if that was even possible. Kageyama was shocked to say the least, he didn't understand why you were here if your mum had told him you weren't feeling well. Was she lying or were you lying right now when you smiled right at him so cheerfully?

It was third period, you had been writing notes in class when the math teacher spoke and wrote equations at the same time. It was silent in the classroom and Kageyama couldn't help glancing at you every few minutes when he took into account the amount of talking you hadn't been doing. You weren't looking or making funny faces towards An or Rika, you didn't smile at him as much but when you did, it was a little bit glum; almost as if it kind of hurt to do so.

The teacher didn't pay attention to your body language as she had been told to by her employer and your parents. She didn't catch the way your eyes seemed to sink into your face, the way your breathing was a little more ragged than usual and she didn't pay attention to the way your face was ghostly pale. She didn't see how the hand that was holding a pencil, was shaking and struggling to hold the writing implement correctly.

It was only when the black-haired boy heard a shaky breath in the quiet class did he stand suddenly, too late to catch your unconscious body when it fell, plunging to the solid ground.

'Sorry Kageyama-kun, [Name] isn't feeling well today.'

The sentence rang through his mind when he refused to go back to class. He pulled the curtain, keeping the both of you in your own bubble in the infirmary as he waited for you to wake up. It looked as if you had a fever, a warm cloth resting upon your forehead while he connected his warm hand with your cold one.

'Sorry Kageyama-kun, [Name] isn't feeling well today.'

He could see it in your face, he wanted to blame himself but he didn't know. He wanted someone to blame, he was so angry. He was so, so sad. Why did you faint like that? Why did you still come to school after you knew he had come to your door to take you to school just like he had alway done since he was eight years old? He wanted to know why you seemed fine or why you made it seem like everything was fine. He hated not knowing because he didn't want to not know everything about you. He wanted to always be with you, knowing everything about you but you kept surprising him.

He felt so useless, like he couldn't do anything for you. Like you needed something, anything right now but it wasn't him. He felt so stupid for not defending you in class only this morning, he didn't like that no one else did either. It was always you and him, him and you together but why did you make him feel this way? Like he was so incompetent, unable to catch you when you fell.

He heard voices coming closer to the infirmary. It was getting close to lunch time now and he was starting to get a little bit hungry, he wanted to have the bento you always made for him because he really liked the thought that you were thinking of him when you made it. You made it with only the thought of him on your mind, thinking about what he liked and what he didn't like. Thinking about how it could benefit him as he was so passionate about volleyball, how he could get stronger on the court he loved standing on.

The voices came closer until they were fully comprehensible, he heard a familiar voice and he knew it was a woman. She was speaking to a man as well, his voice slightly rough when they spoke just above a whisper. He knew the third voice was a female, the nurse that had lead them here. He felt awkward sitting beside you, grasping your hand as he had subconsciously tightened his hold forcing a tiny whine to escape your mouth.

'Sorry Kageyama-kun, [Name] isn't feeling well today.'

"[Name], what happened, are you okay?" The second he saw the grim line cross your lips, he spoke up in a hushed whisper but it also gained the attention of your mother and the nurse, along with who Kageyama assumed was your father, "[Name], are you awake?"

He saw your eyes opening, the curtain being pulled forcefully to reveal to the first year clothed in Kitagawa Daiichi uniform, holding your hand as you stirred awake, smiling at the faces watching you, your mother was the first to crumble going to the other side of the bed to cradle your face, "Oh honey, you're so pale, how're you feeling?"

"I feel perfectly fine 'Kaasan, I'm ready for a nap though.." Smirking, your father gaped at your reaction to the situation at hand, "Are you kidding, you just fainted in class?!"

Kageyama felt out of place, he wanted to leave and give your family some space, he felt like an intruder and he didn't want to be around for something that was only meant for the three of you. The nurse had been standing beside the curtain, a grave expression upon her face as she stared down at the carefree preteen laying in bed, "I'm totally okay, you have nothing to worry about- I was just tired."

"No- [Name] you weren't tired, it was because of your sic-"

"I said."

His breath froze, Kageyama grew alarmed, staring down at the grip you held on him and the way your fingers were growing white as they squeezed his hand so hard. Your voice was hard, serious and so not you. It was deep, a little stentorian and flat, he didn't like the sound of it and how it made you father seized breathing for a second in fear, worry of your reaction, "I'm totally okay."

Smiling, it looked so natural despite the deathly-white appearance you took on. Your eyes had wrinkles when your lips turned upwards, lifting your cheeks to make your eyes squint. He thought it looked really beautiful, he always thought your smile was beautiful.

But it scared him because everyday he had seen that smile, that radiant smile that made his heart skip a beat and it looked the same as now, he didn't know how you did it so it made him scared to think that you could pull such a breath-taking smile in the condition that you were in, how you could have been pulling that smile so many times before and been in the same pain that you were in now.

'Sorry Kageyama-kun, [Name] isn't feeling well today.'

Was it just that day? Or was it the entire time?

Kageyama couldn't help wondering as he threw another ball to set before hearing a loud, boisterous scream behind him, "IT'S YOU!"