2nd October

No one expected it would rain on Maha-astami. Just before they were about to go to the local puja mandap, the pouring started out of the blue.

Last night, Dona and Ritu planned with her that they would go to the puja mandap together to offer pushpanjali to the Goddess, but it turned out they couldn't until the rain stopped.

It was only 7 in the morning, and luckily the timing for pushpanjali was until 9 am. Dona confirmed it from the priest the day before. Dev was sleeping, and that was a good thing. They would be able to return on time if the rain stopped right now. But the weather outside seemed not to care about that.

Shreya sighed, looking out the huge glass window of the hall. The raindrops poured on the swimming pool and created ripples after ripples on the water. Ritu was focused on her phone, and Dona, after realizing the rain wasn't about to stop any sooner, disappeared somewhere inside the house. She hadn't seen any of the Roy brothers since morning, and expecting them to show up was actually her over-expectation. Absolutely unreasonable.

Today, she wore a white saree with red lining in traditional Bengali style, and matched it with a long gold chain and golden earrings. Both of the items were gifts from her grandfather who passed away when she was thirteen.

Feeling restless, she stood up and walked out the backside door to the garden behind. It was still drizzling. So, she went ahead and sat under the garden umbrella that was installed there from before.

A sigh left her again as she turned her head and gazed at the swimming pool. The rain drops seemed to dance on top of the water surface. Watching them with an undivided concentration, she suddenly felt content, but it eventually faded into disappointment.

She's been living here for three days now and it was hazardless till now. No one was there to interrupt her actions and decisions. Somehow, she had been feeling empowered while living in the Isha mansion. All she had been doing is listening to herself and things were going great. Occasional interactions with the members made it more welcoming and appreciating but it never felt depressing, and she never felt overheard which she always felt in her own home. Since her childhood, financial blockages were a constant companion of her family, so her parents, especially Trishna had to work overtime to earn bread and luxuries of life. That's why she never blamed her for turning rude and rigid over time. But, Dibyendu. His approach towards life had been lazy and his attitude towards his wife and daughter had been toxic and surface-level.

Their apparent small and happy family was anything but that. They were dysfunctional and she had to accept it and live with her whole life.

Dibyendu had never been well off with his earning abilities, and he never tried hard to change that. His approach towards life had always been pessimistic. He lived his whole life in a victim mentality energy and that attitude affected both Trishna and her lives. Sometimes, he treated them as any normal husband and father would, but at times, his toxicity scarred their lives some harsh way.

In the beginning years, Trishna had been a naïve wife as she should have been, but life's hard way taught her to speak up and turn strict and bitter. So often, when they had had some fight over issues like budgeting or legal issues like Dibyendu's paternal property, Shreya had to turn a deaf ear and avoid the conflict as much as she could.

Her family life had been chaotic, in all aspects. Economic, emotional as well as social. She never had experienced the comfort and ease as a child should in her growing years. Perhaps, that was the reason she developed a liking towards caring for others. She wanted to provide that comfort to others which she never had as a child up until now.

Last night when Tiyasha video-called to show them her trophy, Dev looked happy. But he didn't cry, which she had expected. Even Tiyasha was surprised to see him like that. She even said, "He isn't missing me too much. Is he?" and Shreya just smiled to dodge the question.

It was still drizzling but it's now more on the calmer side. Hopefully, they'd be able to reach the puja mandap on time.

Her phone rang at the moment when she was scrolling through the newsfeed of her social media. It was Naveen.

"Hello?"

"Hi," his voice filled her ears. "Subha Maha-astami (a way to greet people during puja)."

"Subha Maha-astami," she replied quietly.

"Why can't I see you here in the mandap?" he asked.

"I have no off during puja. So, I'm still at Roys."

"What? You didn't tell me that."

"I forgot."

He paused for a while before saying. "Shreya, why am I feeling that you've been acting distanced since you started your work?"

She didn't reply to that but heaved a sigh and stared ahead. The dancing raindrops on the water surface suddenly felt melancholic, like a symphony telling a story of pain, heartache and disappointments.

When she didn't respond for longer than usual, Naveen said again, "Are you avoiding me?"

"No. Why would I?" She said quietly.

"I miss you, Shreya." He emphasized.

For what actually? My body? She wanted to ask but instead only hummed trying to dodge his demand.

"When will you get off work?"

"Hopefully, the day after tomorrow. My employer is returning on that day. So, I think I can avail my leave by Dashami."

"Okay then. I'll come to pick you up. Send me your location. Will you?"

"Okay." She agreed, but she didn't know whether it was a willing agreement or a reluctant one. She only knew she didn't feel the connection between them anymore, and she wasn't even sure whether it ever existed. She only knew she needed someone outside of her family who can provide her some comfort which Naveen did. But it never was unconditional. It was in exchange of her pushing her comfort zone. It was because she wanted to forget things that imparted hurt on her soul. She wanted to cure her traumas through physical intimacy, which ultimately didn't work.

Her needs from life had always been very diminutive. She wanted love, and peace, and prosperity. She never wanted to feel like a queen top of this world. But it was all her fantasy and she realized far too young that reality is nothing alike fantasy. She craved to establish a deeper soul-level connection, but it didn't happen. Neither with people, nor with the universe.

She blinked and hung up the call.

She used to cry a lot thinking about her life and future, but now she didn't know how to tear up. She just did not feel the need anymore. Because, it'd lead her nowhere.

Crying was useless.

Her mind was a running mess until it went blank abruptly as the hair on the back of her neck stood on point. She suddenly felt super conscious of her self as goosebumps erupted throughout her skin.

She swiftly turned and looked up.

The curtains were put aside of the huge window on the first floor. The full glass window that overlooked the entire garden and swimming pool at the backside was now occupied by a certain someone whom she didn't expect could look at her like that. With a glass of juice in one of his hands, Abhimanyu looked straight at her direction. Their eyes met and she felt uneasy and excited at the same time. Her intuition was screaming at her to break their eye contact and return to inside, but she just couldn't look away. He was wearing his usual home clothes and his rimless glasses. His other hand was buried deep in his pocket.

Should she smile at him? That should be a polite way to greet in the morning. She was contemplating her next move when he brought his glass up and sipped on the juice. She blinked and gave a single nod of acknowledgement with an unsure smile. She didn't know whether he'd like it or not. She didn't want him to feel lowly about her. She had heard, people of high-status considered ordinary people as clingy and opportunist. What if he thought of her the same? What if he thought she wanted to seduce and make him fall in her trap? She would prefer to stay away from him if that generated such misconception rather than just being friendly.

It didn't matter that she wanted to talk to him because he had intrigued her too much. But it was, in fact, her hyper-fantasy. She had no right to be such delusional.

As soon as she gave him the nod, he reciprocated the same gesture, minus the smile, then he turned and walked away from the window.

She inhaled deeply then let it go with a small shake of her head.

She didn't know why was her intuition keep on screaming these days about some imminent danger. Even now. It just wouldn't shut up.

Turned out, the rain stopped and unexpectedly Gyan was ready to go with them to the puja mandap. He wore a nice fitting sky blue kurta paired with denims. With his high ponytail and the newly formed stubbles, he looked handsome as ever. Just that he hid his beautiful eyes with sunglasses and because of which picked up a fight with Ritu.

"You should discard that sunglass immediately?"

"Why? Just say you're jealous that I look more stunning than you."

"Fuck off! You shouldn't wear it when we are here to offer pushpanjali to Maa Durga."

"It isn't our turn yet."

It was true. They had to wait for their turn as the people that reached earlier were offering pushpanjali before them, and it was almost fifty people waiting on line. The local puja here is a famous one since it was a high-class locality and thus the crowd was equally terrifying. Due to the ongoing pandemic, many police were assigned to maintain the crowd. So, it was a good thing that people were at least maintaining the queue to reach the actual place of puja where the huge deities were. Maa Durga with her complete family.

Dona and Ritu were sharing an umbrella, but Shreya didn't bring any umbrella as it stopped raining when they left the house. However, unexpectedly sun showed up and now was burning their scalps with its heat. Today's weather was really funny.

Gyan cursed at the heat then began checking out the girls that came pretty dressed up.

"How long will it take? I'm worried for Dev," Shreya muttered anxiously.

Ritu replied, "Don't worry. I've asked Dadabhai to look after him until we return home. He's still sleeping though."

"Wouldn't he be busy with his business work?" Gyan retorted.

"He's much more responsible than you, and you know it too."

Gyan didn't respond but looked away from Ritu. Shreya noticed his jaws ticked as he clenched them tightly. It was clear as water he was trying to refrain from his outburst.

He didn't like to be compared with his brother, and that was evident.

It might not be the only reason he rebelled against his family, but so far what Shreya had understood, it surely was a major factor.