Neil's POV

Today is the day when my hard work is acknowledged and I am very happy about my success. Well, that's what others think, they don't know how much pain is hidden behind my fake smile. Here, our family members are busily roistering my achievement unknown to the fact how much my inner self is abusing me, my subconscious is repeatedly whacking my heart which is already filled with miseries. I thought that Avni will be happy for me and I know she is but she isn't able to express her happiness in the form of a smile. If everything was stable at this time, her face would have been beaming with real delectation. Alas! My hankerings, her giggles, our togetherness, her trust everything has vanished from our relationship. Though love secures our feelings for each other I guess it's not enough for mending our broken relationship. No one knows what I am going through, no one knows about my hellish turmoil but I know how much pain she's going through.

My eyes witness her turmoil every day, her struggles, her pain, her guilt still I don't get the courage to wrap my arms around her petite figure cos I know, somewhere she will be disgusted by my touch. The arms that will hold her anytime she wants them betrayed her once and now they are craving for her but she's running away from them. Every night when she cries herself to sleep, I try to accompany her by sitting outside her bedroom in the hope that she will come back to our room which is deserted ever since she abandoned it. I silently sob in grief every night and when she falls asleep, I assume that she came back to me and I took her inside our room. Every morning, I sit at the kitchen counter with two coffee mugs hoping,  she will join me and we will bicker about something or the other but one look at her pale face which carries a lot of pain reminds me that I need to give her space. I don't know how she manages to hide her inner emotions but she's very good at it but she won't know that she can't hide her original self from me. I wish I can erase that dreadful night cos it is responsible for our unstable relationship. I wish my past never came back, I wish my mom wasn't a villain of our life but I can't do anything. I can only hope that someday, she will break all the barriers and will jump into my arms, giving me one chance for improving our relationship.

The splashing of the champagne bottle broke my never-ending thoughts. I can feel her gaze on me, she must be wondering what am I thinking. I looked at my dad who is filling champagne in the glasses celebrating his son's success. The confetti tube burst open filling the entire booth with colorful streamers of paper making me walk down my precious memory lane which is preserved within my heart just like these small colorful paper bits are compressed within the tube. Two years back when I met her for the first time, she was giggling and cheering with the crowd of children who were very close to her, or I would say, they were our common friends. We both used to visit the orphanage once a week but never met each other until that day, it was her birthday and all the children were making her feel special. They burst a lot of confetti tubes while she was cutting the cake making her look bewitching, surrounded by the colorful bits. Her smile was alluring, the way she closed her eyes and rubbed her face tenderly removing the confetti sticking at her face, everyone was wishing her and she was laughing her heart out, I froze at my spot watching her enjoying herself with the children. This was for the first time someone captured my attention, my eyes weren't ready to leave her sight while a goofy smile was playing on my lips. As soon as our eyes met, she smiled at me and shifted her gaze toward the kid who was asking for her attention. I guess I fell in love with her at that very moment.

I was again lost in my whirlpool of thoughts until my dad patted my shoulder. He offered me a glass of champagne and appreciated my hard work. Avni was trying her best to smile for me and our families but she was feeling uncomfortable as my mom was constantly gazing at her. No one knows what's going on between the three of us. I sat beside Avni and placed my hand on her thigh, Avni looked at me shocked about my little stunt while my mom shifted her gaze. I immediately removed my hand as I don't want to make Avni uncomfortable, I just wanted to warn my mother so that she can't hurt my wife in any way.

I ain't sure but I guess she flinched a bit when I removed my hand. Was she disgusted with my touch? Or she missed my warmth? I seriously don't know, Avni has barricaded herself since that incident, she never shows her real emotions and it literally kills me. I wish I could show her my love, I want to make her believe that it's not the last chapter of our book, it's just the beginning of our new journey where she won't live in fear of losing her husband. I don't want to give up on our relationship and I don't want her to give up on me.

What happened to us? We were complete when our relationship was joining us in the strongest bond but now we are as weak as a glass castle. We were embosomed within each other's cologne until some cruel people tormented our lives, now we both are as shattered as broken glass pieces. I wish, someday she will listen to my heart's yearnings, someday she will realize that she completes me. I will keep on trying, I will win her trust back, I know it's difficult but it's not impossible.

"Do you want to leave ?" I whispered into her ear as I can't bear the uneasiness she was hiding behind her smile. We are already going through a lot and now I don't want to make her feel suffocated in any way.

"No, it's fine. I can manage." She whispered and her face was expressionless.

I sighed and tried to participate in the conversation but I wasn't able to divert my mind, Avni looked at me as if she understood my inner fight. I passed her a small smile and she diverted her gaze, I deserve this. I deserve her anger, her taunts, her harsh words, and her ignorance cos I gave her a reason to hate me.

This is known as a 'broken relationship', a relationship in which you betrayed your lover, my betrayal was unintentional still it scratches our hearts terribly. A relationship in which you don't have the tendency to move on, an alliance that is secured by love but broken by trust. People think, it's very easy to forgive the betrayer but believe me, it's very difficult and on top of that forgiving your own dammit self is next to impossible. Even if she will forgive me, I won't be able to forgive myself. This guilt has been scribbled on my heart and now no one can free me from this mess. Someday, maybe Avni will give me a chance but I won't be able to exonerate myself. Maybe, movies will show you that two people were in love with each other, one betrayed the other unintentionally and they both broke up their relationship, they cried for a few months, after that, they moved on with some other person and at last, a huge leap will be thrown on your faces and after that leap, two lost lovers will meet each other again and suddenly their feelings will revive themselves, they will try to ignore each other and at the end, they will reconcile and their new partners who were just a medium for their so-called move on will sacrifice their so-called feelings for their loved ones and then 'The happy ending'. This is a fictional world but in real life moving on is very difficult. I love Avni and she loves me, even after my betrayal we are trying to reconcile. Though it's not working still we are trying to make it work cos our love doesn't allow us to leave each other, we don't have the guts to move on even after facing a lot of issues cos we don't want to share our life with anyone else. If your love is true then feelings won't fade away and your heart won't allow you to connect with anyone else, this is known as real life and we both are trying to fix our broken relationship. Hopefully, one day we will find our way back to each other.

"Neil, why don't you and Avni go out for a trip? I mean, you guys haven't gone anywhere for one year." Dad asked me and I was having no answer. What should I say? I know she won't want to go out with me but how will I convince him?

I looked at her and she sighed. I hope she will give some good reason so that we can despise this discussion.

"I am currently working on some project, we will surely go out when my project is over." She spoke politely, hiding her choked breath. I know she is also thinking about our traveling memories.

We both used to travel a lot. Whenever we got time, we would go out on road trips, adventurous sports, or whatever we wanted to accomplish with each other but now we are living like strangers in our own house so how can we travel with each other? Everything is messed up.

The rest of the dinner was peaceful, I am relieved that Mom didn't bother Avni with her baseless comments, she is already going through a lot and I don't want to make it difficult for her. The drive towards home was silent as always, Avni was drowned in her thoughts so I didn't bother her.

As soon as we reached home, Avni walked towards her room and I sat on the backyard patio trying to get some peace by watching the yard which is customized by Avni, it has her aura. She loves gardening and I love the way she dedicates her weekend to our yard. A small smile automatically appears on my lips as I remembered the memories we shared here. Each and every corner of our house is full of memories, maybe that's the reason why I still feel peaceful in this deserted area. I was lost in the beauty of the yard until I heard someone's footsteps. It was Avni, she sat beside me and I smiled at her. She looks away and was fiddling with her fingers, she is nervous about something. I want to ask her but I can't upset her in any way.

"Aren't you sleepy ?" I asked her as I can't bear this awkward silence. Its heart-wrenching.

"I want to give you......" her voice eventually trails off.

"What do you want to give me ?" I was afraid at this moment. I really hope she won't leave me.

"A chance". This wasn't real, was it?

POV ends

》》》》》》》》

Do drop your views.

Much love
Thanks ❤