꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

Discovering everything about myself is very hard for me to finally be able to embrace within myself.

It's even harder to come into terms with who I was in the past and acknowledging I wasn't the best version of myself. Nor was I the best person for anyone to be around me.

But when I realized that I needed to change, I sought to address these shortcomings.

I have been trying my hardest to change, slowly but steadily. I must take the necessary steps and exert the necessary effort in an attempt to change.

To begin with, I removed toxic people from my life who I felt were preventing me from reaching my full potential. After they were taken removed, my entire attitude began to shift. Things began to appear to be going really well since I made the change.

The next stage was to begin viewing everything that happened in my daily life with greater optimism and positivity. Both online and offline.

Things really started to pick up after that. Following that, I was able to evaluate my actions more accurately and modify my perspective on other people.

I then started to disregard what wasn't healthy for me. When people would become embroiled in drama, I began to ignore it and didn't even try to voice my viewpoint or speak to anyone about it. I simply kept to myself, and I started to see the difference in what it means to be content with who I am without being nose deep into drama that wasn't worth my time or breath.

And last, but not least, I started to embrace authenticity. 

I began to realize that discovering authenticity was crucial for overcoming perfectionism and my toxicity. 

I started to explore my passions and interests more.

I began to listen to my intuition and trust my own gut instincts about people and things around me. Giving me a better sense of judgement.

I began to discover my values and beliefs. Discovering that I have more value than I ever allowed myself to realize and that my own values I was allowed to express within myself. Even with my personally beliefs I was allowed to express them without the fear of being judged by others. Others opinions about my values and beliefs didn't matter. What mattered was what I think of myself, believe within myself, and saw the morals and values I hold myself accountable for mattered than one weaks opinion about who I am.

With that powerful knowledge, I started to express myself authentically.

I learned to embrace my quirks and flaws. Even learning to have a better control of certain flaws enough to change them in much more healthier ways. Making me feel mentally at ease with myself and the person I am now becoming.

I started to surround myself with people who accepted me for who I am. This helped me greatly in discovering more within myself. Even learning to better judge those around me enough to form an opinion if their worth being in my life, staying in my life, or even being removed from my life.

I learned to then let go of people-pleasing, toxicity, and perfectionism. I started seeking validation from others that were supportive enough to guide me to a better understanding of the world and even myself better.

I discovered that I had a voice, a unique voice and style to use only when needed. That I have control over my voice and shouldn't have to live in silence because of certain individuals that are in my life because they are blood, or they came through in passing. That they do not, and should not, have the power over me to control anything about my life. That I have the freedom to speak when it's necessary to speak up for myself and stand up for myself when needed.

I started to live authentically, without apology, feeling ashamed at myself, or having pretension haunting my every waking moment. 

I felt at ease with myself along with feeling free to be my true self. My true being, bringing light into a soul that was black, black as night. But now little by little the black is peeling, flaking off of my soul and light is pouring out through these peeled away spots.

Showing off that healing is powerful and anyone can embrace it if their strong enough to overcome their own demons.

And you know what?

I finally am starting to like myself!

With this progress, I have began to like this new version of me. Even though there are many obstacles and challenges I still have yet to face, I am still very willing to continue in becoming a better person for myself.

I realized that authenticity was not only liberating, but also very empowering.

I learned to start loving myself, imperfections and all.

I started to see that authenticity was not only beautiful, but also necessary for true connections and growth in the world, even myself. I couldn't be more happier with the progress I was accomplishing with myself.

I realized that I didn't have to hide behind the mask of perfectionism anymore. That I am free to control my own life, my own actions, my own voice towards others and form more of a meaningful connection with others that could last a lifetime.