Author's Note: 

I'm baack!~ Missed me? I bet you guys did. *laughs evilly* I bet you guys are stabbing your pillow and thinking it's me coz I kept you on edge with the last chapter. Bwahahaha!!

Anyway, let's get to the main point. This is dedicated to you, FlutterBlackWings, for being such an amazing reader! You don't know how much it means to me that you continued on with my second book! Agh, I could just hug you right now! 

Hahaha. Sadly, I can't. *sigh*

On a side note, let us begin with the next dedication. I'm happy to announce to everyone that Chapter 13 will be dedicated to ... TWiStFaTe. Yeah, girl! It's all yours. Take it, just take it and never look back! 

And, one more thing, if I managed to overlook you in dedicating a page, I'm sorry. I don't keep track of those who vote my story (coz I'm kinda a lazy bum) since Wattpad can only hold so much info. Plus, I'm trying my best to be fair to everyone who took the effort to vote and comment on the chapters. -__-

That's all!

yaoiChibi out! Peace~ 

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

My heart stopped when I had realized what had just slipped past my lips. Oh God! What have I done? Why did I just blurt out something that could potentially ruin our relationship? I was just in the middle of thinking if I loved him and then, I do something like this! 

What the fuck?

I pulled away from Jordan like he was on fire, mortified at what he'd say to me after I did my act of stupidity. It's not like I didn't mean it. I do like him, I like him more than Riley, but I guess I was too proud to admit I had fallen in love with a man so far down the beauty food chain. Plus, said man was an asshole when we first met and didn't swoon over me like all the others did.

I tried to tear myself away, just run up to my room and mull things over. But, my body had other ideas. Instead of completely getting him off of me like my head wanted to, I was only able to take two steps from him while my arms slid down and grabbed his forearms. Damn body! Why can't you listen to me? This is for our own good.

I averted my eyes from Jordan's grey ones, my heart beating so quickly I thought it would explode from the speed. If the ground could swallow me right now, I'd promise to give my soul to the devil just to avoid this awkwardness. My head was spinning, the feeling of shame building up in my heavy chest. This is not good, this is so not good. I am royally and officially fucked.

What the hell was I thinking? Eric, you idiot. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

FUCK!

"Ah." I said without thinking, my eyes still unable to look into Jordan's. I had to come up with something and that something should be believable that even a baby would accept it as the truth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. It was a joke, you see. Yeah, a joke. Me and Elaine made a bet, and I lost. So - so, that's why I said that. Don't take it so seriously. You're freaking me out."

I took a quick glance at him, gauging his reactions to what I had just said. Passing it off as a joke or a bet was a stupid idea, but it's all I came up with at the moment. And I would work with anything just to save my tiny shred of dignity. However, it was obvious that I was only lying. Somehow, after meeting with Jordan, lying to him was harder than swallowing two buckets of staples. Harder than swallowing two buckets of staples, damn it!

Plus, I knew it was a lie. A lie made to salvage our relationship, and it made me want to cut my tongue out. The heavy feeling growing in my chest made me feel like I was going to pass out. How the fuck was I supposed to fix this?

"Is it now?" I heard Jordan say, his voice void of any emotion. I jumped in surprise at the sound of him, wincing when I heard his indifference.

I looked up at him and found his eyes staring at me boredly, almost lifelessly. And, for a moment, I thought I felt someone stick their hand in my chest and rip my heart out without much resistance. I could feel another wave of tears this time, each drop filled with remorse as I watched him take steps away from me after pulling his arms from my grip.

"A joke, huh." He shook his head, eyes shut as he pasted on a blank facade. "You know, you shouldn't say stuff like that. People might misunderstand and end up getting hurt because you thought it was a bright idea to lie in front of someone's face. It's a good thing I knew you were an asshole before we started this whole thing. But, never did I expect you to stoop lower than the standard I had set for you."

I choked on my breath, pain settling in me as I listened to him speak. Each word covered in his venom stabbed my fragile heart repeatedly, unmercilessly. I knew I should've just admitted it. I knew I should've just accepted it. But, it was so damn hard not to feel so vulnerable after baring my soul. The last time I did this, I ended up with a shredded heart and dignity. The idea of falling for another man, much less a man that was the complete opposite of me, just never crossed my head.

However, Cupid seemed to think that it was funny to see me break my heart again.

"That's unfair, you know that." I looked up at Jordan, unaware that my line of sight had fallen to his feet while the tears continued their descent down my cheeks. I froze when I felt his huge hand cup my cheek, his thumb carefully wiping away the pain-induced tears.

I bit my bottom lip, trying desperately to calm myself from crying. Pathetic. I was downright pathetic. Why didn't I just stick it out? I could've gotten away with it if I had kept my emotions at bay. I used to be so good at this. When the fuck did everything change?

"Stop crying like a baby. It's all your fault, you know." He said, pulling me into a warm embrace. My arms immediately grabbed the shirt on his back as I rested my head on his broad shoulders, my tears still flowing. "You're the one who said something hurtful first, so why are you the one bawling?"

A whimper escaped my lips as I pulled him impossibly closer, not trusting my voice to explain anything to him. I felt him tighten his hold on me, his head returning to its favorite spot on my neck. He nuzzled my neck, rubbing his nose as I felt him take quick sniffs again. It would've made me laugh if I wasn't in the middle of crying my eyes out.

"What are you so scared of, Eric?" He asked in a whisper, his tenderness returning to his voice. I breathed in a sigh of relief as I held on to him, my hands trembling from the fear that this was over and it was all my fault. "You surprised me, you know. Saying something so unexpected like that. But then, you tried pulling it off as a joke. It was obvious you were lying, but I decided to go along with it. I was sure you had a good reason for lying. But now, you're crying and I don't even know why."

He planted soft little kisses on my neck, my skin burning from where he had placed his lips. I felt the tension leave my body from the small display of affection, my heart crying out the reason for feeling such a thing. It was like I was contradicting myself. Questions of why keep denying it? or is it truly a question of his looks or are you just scared of getting hurt again? rang my head. Of course, I was assured that a headache was going to attack my head if I didn't just man up and take this like the emotional man I had become.

"I'm so - sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I answered after a pause, my voice shaking from the intense emotions I was feeling.

I knew this was the 'more' that I had wanted. To be able to step away from the zone that defined us as sex friends and enter a real relationship with him was both exciting and scary. He was a kind man, there was no denying that. He caved into my wishes throuhout this thing we shared, despite his earlier aversion. There were times that I had mistaken his kindness as any nurse would give. However, it dawned on me that no matter how kind a nurse was, how caring he was, there's always going to be a boundary laid out between the patient and himself. With us, however, there was no boundary. I could ask for anything and he'd answer without batting an eye.

"Jordan?" I called out once I had calmed down, pulling my head away from where it rested comfortably. He felt me move and so he pulled back, his eyes affectionately staring at me.

"What? Got something you want to say to me?" He asked, a small smile on his lips as he rested his forehead against mine.

We were so close that there was no way he would've missed the pink tint on my tear-stained cheeks. Black met grey, and I could feel my body ignite in pleasure just from his touch. I give up. Seriously, why was I fighting what my entire being wanted?

"Eric." Jordan whispered, my name melting from his lips when he called for my attention. My attention returned to him, my heart seemingly understanding the atmosphere and started beating quickly.

He inched closer, pulling my head in for a kiss. His lips were warm, warmer than the last time I had tasted them. I closed my eyes reflexively, leaning in closer to him as I drowned myself in his taste. It was a gentle kiss, one that made me want to melt into his arms. But, I couldn't. At least, not yet. We had to settle this. I had to swallow everything and move on.

"I love you, you idiot." I said, trying to sound arrogant as I pulled myself off his lips. There was a low rumble in his chest and I knew it was a chuckle that he swallowed, passing it off as poor humming. "And I swear to God, I'm not lying anymore."

"You see. Was it that hard to admit something so trivial? We've been together for almost three and a half months. I thought we had already crossed that bridge, but I guess Lance taunting you kind of woke you up." He replied before pulling me to the couch where Elaine and I had sat on. I sat on his lap facing him, my hands sifting through his hair as he looked at me. "Don't worry. Despite the fact that you thought I was an asshole in the beginning, I still love you. You're an impulsive idiot and I accepted that fact the moment you started opening yourself up."

"Still love me?" I asked, confused at his choice of words. 

"Yeah, still love you." He wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing me ever so often. I raised a brow at him, my eyes still pooling with unshed tears as I sniffled. "I didn't really plan on telling you, but since we're lovers now, what the hell."

"I don't understand. Stop beating around the bush, stupid." I tugged his hair roughly, almost pulling it from his scalp since I was still feeling emotional and his vague words were starting to get on my nerves.

"I've loved you ever since I saved you from that perverted doctor, okay." He admitted, looking to the side bashfully as my eyes widened at the revelation. "Why'd you think I let you continue with your seduction? I'm a man with unwielding will power so mere seduction shouldn't work if I wasn't the least bit interested in you. How do you think I remained a virgin all these years?"

"You asshole! Why'd you make me cry earlier if you love me?" I raised my fists on him, banging his broad chest half-heartedly. My mind was spinning from the revelation, my heart soaring from his admittance that I just didn't know what to think anymore. 

He grabbed my wrists quickly, chuckling as he kept his eyes on me. It was weird. Seeing him laugh like it was the most natural thing to do. All this time, I had never seen him so happy, even when I wore his favorite red lace thong a month ago.

"It's your fault. Admitting you love me and then taking it back. Who do you think had their heart ripped into pieces. Plus, even if you were lying, you seriously hurt me. I wanted to get back and so I said all those things. It wasn't really that convincing, but with you're current condition, you're as vulnerable to lies and deceit than your normal self." He took my wrist and place a small kiss on each pulse, his whiskers scratching the skin there.

"You are shaving that thing. And, what are you talking about? Didn't you say I was doing well already?" I wrapped my arms around his neck, edging impossibly closer as I settled on top of his soft member. "I don't feel any pain or whatever."

Jordan laughed at my answer, obviously enjoying my lack of understanding in the situation. I felt him uncoil his wrap around my waist, his huge hand sliding across my abdomen affectionately. I saw him smile softly, his eyes trained on my stomach. What? What's going on? Was I going to die because of that ulcer thing?

"Hey, hey. Look here. Up here, boy. What the hell is wrong with me? Am I going to die?" I asked, framing his face with my hands. I was seriously getting scared. What if it was getting worse? What am I supposed to do?!

"You seriously don't know?" He eyed me, astonishment written clearly all over his face. The smile on his lips grew even more, making me utterly suspicious of what was happening. "I'm not sure yet, but I have an inkling that your current emotional rollercoaster and weird cravings have something to do with the little guy growing in here."

His palm laid flat on my stomach, pointing out the obvious of my current situation. My eyes widened, my lips parted in complete surprise. There's no way that was possible, right? We didn't do condoms or safe sex, so it could be plausible. But, was it true?

Unconsciously, my hands slid down my body and rested on top of Jordan's hand. I still couldn't believe it. It wasn't possible, right? It wasn't, right? So, the whole reason why I was crying then laughing like a madman was because I was carrying a -

"Baby. I'm pregnant?" I asked, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat from the idea that it could be true. My other hand gripped his shoulder, silently asking him to answer my question.

I had to know. 

I had to know if I was truly pregnant. It seemed surreal, like I was teetering between reality and imagination. Sure, we had unprotected sex a lot. Too much, to be exact. But, was it enough?

Who are you kidding? We went at it like we were living in our own little world and sex was like a hobby already. How can you act so surprised? 

"Well, there's only one way to find out. I bought five different pregnancy tests. Want to try them all right now?" He asked, his free hand roaming my back leisurely as I tried to wrap my head around the idea. "Just so that we're sure. I mean, I could always be wrong. I'm studying to be a neuro-surgeon, not a gynecologist."

That seemed to calm me down. Yeah, it could be a wrong diagnosis and there was nothing wrong in trying. We just had to make sure. I mean, we just admitted our feelings and a baby could potentially confuse us if our feelings for each other were real. Especially mine, since I was the one carrying the little guy. What if Jordan thought my feelings were induced by my crazy pregnant hormones?

"Yeah, let's do it. We've got to make sure." I nodded, looking determined to get this over with. "Come on. Teach me how to do those tests."

We made our way to the bathroom in our bedroom, Jordan carrying the plastic bag that he had brought with him when he returned home. I immediately stripped my sweatpants upon Jordan's command, noticing that said man was eyeing me like a dog in heat. I raised a hand at him, the universal signal for 'heel'. He understood and returned to his task of bringing out strips that were foreign to me.

"Okay. So, I removed my pants like you said. Now, what?" I asked, sitting on the toilet seat as I waited for Jordan to lay out those goddamned contraptions. 

"I can't believe you weren't wearing any underwear. Fuck. If we didn't have to do this, our first round of sex as lovers would've been hot." He answered, grumbling to himself as he brought one of those things to me. "Listen. These things require your urine, so I need you to fill up this small cup. Make sure you fill it up with the middle, not the liquid that first shoots out or the last. It needs to be the middle, okay?"

I nodded, taking the cup from Jordan as I stood up and faced the toilet bowl. 

"I can't pee." I said after a while, looking at Jordan who was behind me. The asshole was watching me piss and for some reason, it pissed me off. I elbowed him in the gut and he pulled away, clutching his stomach while I turned to face him. "I said, I can't pee. Get me some water. God, you are so disgusting. Do you have some sort of fetish with piss?"

He ignored me, walking out of the room to grab me something to drink. I heard him whisper something low, my ears twitching to listen what he was trying to say. When he was completely out of my sight, I sat down on the seat once again. My hands unconsciously caressing my stomach, fingers dancing across the expanse of skin.

A baby, huh. Who knew?

"Here. Water. Drink lots of it and start peeing. And no, I don't have a fetish for urine. What's wrong in watching my lover piss? I kind of find it hot, you know." I grabbed the bottle, my eyes rolling as he tried to explain himself. Didn't he know that he just accepted the fact that me pissing turned him on? I swear, if he goes on and says that me shitting is hot as well, I'll kick his ass. Damn bastard doesn't know when to shut up.

When I felt the familiar feeling of wanting to pee, I got up and faced the toilet bowl with the cup in one hand. Successfully, I got to fill almost half of the cup and I reached for the toilet paper to clean it off the liquid that sloshed around. I know, it's gross. However, the asshole was still all smiles when I reached it to him and I just didn't know if saying I loved him was a good idea.

He tilted the cup, pouring a bit in every contraption carefully. I went and washed my hands in the sink, returning to his side once I got myself cleaned up. Jordan got up and threw the rest down the bowl and flushed, washing his hands and the cup once he was done. He returned to my side, tucking me under his arm as we waited.

"What's supposed to happen, Jordan?" I asked, my hand resting on his hip while the other flat on his chest. He looked down at me and smiled. I guess he'll explain when it's done.

"There's a strip there that will react to your urine. If there's two lines, you're pregnant. One line, it means you just decided to crave for something stupid." He explained after a few minutes, taking one of the strips and bringing it to our faces. 

Our breath hitched as we looked at the strip. He reached for the other, until we had reached the last one. I looked up at Jordan, expecting him to break the ice or something. I didn't trust myself to speak right now, so I was depending on him to announce his findings.

"Out of five, we got all of them with two lines. You're pregnant." He said, pulling me into an embrace. I trembled from the result, scared shitless that I was positively and undeniably pregnant. "Looks like we're going to be parents."

He gathered me in his arms and carried me to the bed, my legs unable to move since the revelation was too much. We laid silently in bed, my head resting on his chest as I kept him close to me. I'm pregnant. Oh God, I'm pregnant.

"What do you want to do, Eric?" I heard Jordan ask, his arms pulling me closer to him. His chin rested on the top of my head, his breathing soft and low that I wasn't sure if he was still breathing when he asked the question. "I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do. Our relationship is just starting and I understand you'd feel unsure of what to do. If you're not ready, we can have the child adopted or something. Or, if you really don't want to, you can let him go right now?"

The silent meaning of his last question left me stunned. Abortion. There was always that option. A lot of people who had unexpected pregnancies and didn't want the child decided to end the child's suffering before it began. Could I really do that?

Abort my child? Put my child up for adoption? 

I remained quiet, tears sliding down my cheeks again as I thought long and hard. This was big news, news that someone like me shouldn't receive considering my line of work? But, was I really heartless to have my own child killed? Adopted by other people?

Was I going to put my own child through that?

"No. I'm keeping him and you're going to be there for me, alright?" I said gruffly, pushing back to look into his eyes. My heart was thumping nervously as I looked at him, praying that he wasn't the type to throw away his own kid.

He smiled softly at me, kissing the tears that continued to cascade down my cheeks. I was seriously crying too much today, but I had other problems to deal with. And one of them was looking right at me. I watched him breathe in a sigh, his lips gently pecking my own as he replied in the gentlest voice I have ever heard him use.

"Whatever you want, my love. Whatever you want."