Warning:
This chapter contains a suicide attempt and the accompanying suicidal, depressing thoughts. Reader discretion is advised. Also, life is a precious sanctity.

Fuck.

Ferro clawed his cheeks till red streaks tinged his skin. He refused to accept that the hooded figure from back then was standing in front of him, and the Pokémon that killed his Aegislash was staring at him too.

Sage took the phone and read the words. He scrolled through the other entries and gasped. His knees shivered without end as he fell onto the stairs. Blade was in tears beside him.

"This is not true, right? How can I do something so inhumane?" Sage's voice wavered.

"It is." Blade's chest inflated and deflated. "I'm sorry, Ferro."

"You think your apology will bring my Pokémon back? You think?" Ferro shook his head and lunged at Sage, pulling the drummer's collars. Tears pricked his eyes and warmth passed through his hand as he smacked the boy's cheeks. Seeing that Sage did not retaliate, Ferro punched the boy's chest, each punch harder than the one before, yells full of expletives accompanying each punch. He couldn't differentiate anger from anguish, and the burden of the sudden news proved to be way too overwhelming.

Zayn pulled Ferro back and earned a glare from him.

"Ferro, stop! Jade has something to say," Zayn said.

"What? She wants to heal me of my grief?" Ferro snapped. "Do you think that works? Stay away from him! He will definitely hurt you when you least expect it!"

"I—" Jade said.

"Do you think I can Heal my Aegislash using that app? Tell me!"

Sage struggled to get up, his breaths short, an immense pain flaring in his chest. Blade supported him and sighed.

"No," Zayn said. "Be rational! Jade is saying to gather everyone and escape this island! We need to stop Yvette together since there's strength in numb—"

"And? Do you think the police will believe us when we tell them we have Singularities? No! They would lock us up in an asylum!"

Ferro eyed his brother scratching his neck and squinting at them from the far end of the hallway with drooping eyelids.

"I think we should stop Yvette before it's too late," Sage said as he sat on the steps. "She's got a dangerous Singularity so I guess she could make us kill each other instead of us subduing her."

"Whatever. The past's past. Focus on task at hand, right?" Ferro sneered and slumped against the wall, looking away from the boy and his Pokémon. "Aegislash will always be a part of me now..."

"Hey! What's this ruckus all about?" Clay called out.

After filling Clay in on what the group had just learnt, as well as Yvette's Singularity, Zayn crossed his arms.

"We need to tell everyone," Clay said.

"Before that..." Zayn lowered his head and glanced at Jade. "We need an explanation. Jade, why did Valencia sneak you into the island?"

"I... I begged her to. My sister died because of Yvette. I found her body near the church. She had a letter saying that the ritual failed in achieving immortality but whether it truly failed, she wasn't sure. Also, the phone... Sage said it was somewhat successful but many people said it failed so... I don't know! She had also written that she wanted to attract the attention of passers-by, but in the end, I saw that she failed. So I came here. I figured I could get closer to the truth of what happened that night."

"So you got close to me?" Mei asked.

"Yes." Jade lowered her gaze and turned to Zayn, hoping he would do something. "Sorry."

"I think we should all think things over first. We'll meet up tomorrow. Sage, you and Blade should get some alone time. I'll tell everyone else about this." Zayn clapped twice and shooed everyone away.

As Sage walked back to his room, he felt a sense of dread. Regret stormed the halls and sorrow, like a battalion, invaded his guts.

Blade entered the room first and he turned to his companion. "Aren't you coming in?"

"I... I think I want to take a stroll. S-See you later."

「」

Sage found himself in Foncrise City, walking past the chattering androids and watching the clouds. All sounds were hollow, all songs noise.

If I just vanish today, will it be of some help?

He looked at the ground, at his shadow. He slipped into it and was gone from sight.

Darkness became a place for him to ruminate. There was nothing to distract him from his thoughts in total darkness. He folded his legs and tucked his knees in.

If I'm that inhumane, who or what am I? How and why did I do that to Ferro? What other terrible and asinine deeds have I done?

Sage hummed.

I killed Loralei too. I didn't feel much about it.

Sage closed his eyes.

My façade is breaking.

He resurfaced. His surroundings were still the same, only bleaker. The bitter aroma of coffee pricked his nose, the foul cologne and perfume from human-wannabes androids forced him to swallow his vomit and the endless, crescendoing voices that were squeezed into the city suffocated him. If he were to be honest with himself, he had been eating less nowadays and sleeping was an uphill chore. Since young, he felt worthless for times too many so he wasn't exactly surprised he came to this point. It was all his fault.

Who am I?

Sage placed his hands in his pockets and gazed at the puddles of water on the pavement. They were so clear, yet he wondered if they were murky and crimson. He wondered if it was blood or, maybe, tears. He lifted his head up, eyes reflecting the glassy sky in sepia.

I'm a monster.

Walking became a nuisance so Sage placed himself at the top of the tallest building in Foncrise City—a skyscraper where many androids lived in. It was where he wanted to be, at the top of a building, away from the rest of the world.

I wonder if my present life is a lie and my past just reveals how cruel I am.

Breathing meant nothing, and his pulse slowed down. Foncrise City, with its endearing lights and hustle and bustle, was of a different world. A world he could never possibly fit in.

I was experimented on. Obviously I would feel like this now. I mean, how immoral can humans get—especially when they were the ones who invented said morality and ethics? What a sinful world we live in. Humans caused the endangerment of some Pokémon, thrashed their habitats for our own gains...

Sage thought of order and chaos, of truth and ideals, and of love and hate. He thought of individualism and conformity, of whether a white human and a black human—any race, religion and colour for that matter—could actually get along well. He thought of nihilism and solipsism, and wondered... just which he was the epitome of.

He questioned 'mankind', then realised that men possibly made more mistakes than women. He questioned 'peace' and asked if it would still exist if war never had. He questioned 'friends' and pondered over it, debating deep inside himself if he had any genuine ones.

Upbeat songs played in the city and so merrily slapped and strangled him. He tried to break free, stretching his hands, extending his arms and legs out. The wind battered his face but it couldn't pull a smile out of his stoic expression. Even if it had been gentler, Sage wished it were more forceful, so it could send him falling.

Autumn had just begun, so 'fall' was quite suitable a word for him to use.

The scientists who experiment on Rattata and Bunnelby to see if a product is suitable for human use; the government that employs propaganda and speaks of how good communism or democracy is; the teachers and adults who lie to you when you were younger that everything in the world is black and white, that 1+1=2, that the clocks never struck thirteen... but the only black thing is the future and the only white is our naïveté.

Sage knew he could be seeing things the wrong way, or in a realist's perspective. Of course, he had to ask what being realistic and pessimistic meant, and if both had other similarities than seeing the truth in things. He had to ask if he was sad... or depressed, if this sadness persisted and warped into numbness.

It's said that a good practice is to give, sympathise and control. To live is to give with no strings attached. Sympathise with those who are blind, which are many, to be honest. The blind and misunderstood. Control...

Sage forgot about 'control'. Did he have any control over his life, or was it Yvette and Tarocchi who used him like a marionette? Was it himself? Had he given up on self-control long ago?

Humans are best at two things: manipulating others and being victims of manipulation.

Those fast-paced noises remained in the air. Annoying chatter and hums reminded him of the bunch of lies and secrets on the island.

Previously, he thought his life was going well, but there was a curveball he dreaded. He wondered if there were more, now that the seemingly straight path had numerous twists and turns he was oblivious to.

He stepped forward, to the edge of the skyscraper, and listened to the clock on the clock tower tick. He took another step, and a third one. Now, if he shifted his weight forward by a little, he would be no different from the orange-red leaves. Something vibrated in his pocket. He lifted his foot and paused. Another vibration.

Sage stood stock-still, a statue with no stature. The wind battered at his face, hair swerving around, smacking gradually bleaching skin. Frost in the air, frost in the waters, frost in his veins. Breaths—if they could even be called that—seemed so insignificant.

He put it back down.

Picking up his phone with a shaky hand, he placed it at his ear. A discerning eye shot through the clouds, seeming to hope to find a flock of Drifblim.

"Blade said you went for a stroll, but it's been two hours! Are you going to have lunch?" Zayn said, as if nothing had happened. As if life was still so perfect and this was all an utopia. As if Sage's mind was the creator of his dystopia. As if...

It's like he doesn't care at all.

"Sage? You there? Are you okay? Are you fine? Say something! Where are you? Sage?" Zayn asked.

Brown hair flying in the howling gale, the drummer looked at his arm, at the loosening bandage. It's fine, he's got more of them in his room.

"Sage is fine. Sage is always fine." Sage lifted his foot once again. The bandage fluttered in the wind and he reached his other hand out to catch it.

I've got more of them in my room. Bondage, bandage, what's the difference? And yet, I feel this one fabric is important. As if losing it will tear the threads of the world.

He watched it fall. He wondered how falling felt like. He wanted to know, to get a taste of what many people in the news—hospitals and morgues, too—tried. He thought of how exhilarating it could possibly be, as it was frightening. He wondered if his life would flash before his eyes. In seven minutes he could relive his entire life, people said.

He wondered if it was fate or freewill that life happened. Did he choose to live, or was it all pre-ordained?

"Is that a chime? Sage? Are you somewhere near the clock tower?"

Zayn's questions was answered with silence. Or at least, on the outside. The internal can never hold quietude; the internal was a snare catching thought-woodcocks, nothing more than self-entrapment; the internal was more of a siren, too many alarms he didn't know which was false.

Kill me... please.

In a frenzy, they bombarded him. The wind was a ravager, his thoughts a twister, his fate...

"Sage?" Zayn said.

A disaster.

Sage took another step. Sage was falling.

"Everything's going to be fine, Zayn. Everything's going to be fine."

Ah... I must be the epitome of solipsism.

Sage did not close his eyes. He anticipated the dull earth to catch his fall, to hear blood splatter, the breaking of bones. To smell the air that tasted of death. To hear Death knock on the door to his heart.

"It's okay. I got your back," Zayn said. "You know I always do. Tell me what's wrong."

I'm wrong. That's what's wrong. There must be something terribly wrong with me for you to tell me that. Who are you now, Zayn the psychologist? Are you going to say, "How are you? You are fine? Take this stuff, exercise... It's good for you. Thank you. Next." and smile at me?

Somehow, the fall was a mighty long one. It's like time had slowed down excessively.

"Thank you, Zayn." Sage saw a whirl of dull colours, and some grey. The world as he knew it wasn't always black and white, and this was it. He had entered the world he was familiar with, a new realm. Not a dimension—he was multi-dimensional, not a plain plane. A world where lies and truths crossed paths, where some answers weren't definite. A world where he wouldn't stand out, but fit in. He shut his eyes. "Goodbye, Zayn."

It's an index to an act, a prologue paralleling an unknown epilogue.

I want to die. I have to die. I must die. Thank you and goodbye.

Of the dreams awaiting him in the cold sleep of death, Sage knew naught.

The ghost-quiet world took him in. He opened his eyes, the ground so near he could feel the Distortion World's calling.

Something flashed past his eyes. Sage touched down on a net in which light became something tangible. He didn't understand at first, but seconds later, he knew what was going on. As his consciousness flickered, a voice akin to an angel in its gentleness rubbed his temples and stroked his cheeks. It made him reconsider if he had reached the threshold of Arceus's realm. No, it was a human voice, yet it was so comforting to hear, like raindrops pelting against the windows as someone played the piano. The pianist's blue eyes were on him, then the pianist was hugging him.

"Yes. Everything's going to be fine." The voice was hushed.

I guess...

Sage remained his stoic expression when he thought he would be cracking a smile. A part of him felt he didn't exactly deserve this.

Just before darkness fully clouded his vision and clogged his senses, he heard the voice say, "It's okay now. I'll always have your back, be it then... or now. Always."