"Is that all you're going to eat?" Megan asked. I blinked at her, before looking back at my plate: a syrup-logged pancake, a piece of slightly burnt bacon, and a potato cake.

"I ate after you went to sleep."

Kaldur cast a quick look at me but said nothing. He wouldn't. At least, he probably wouldn't, so long as I ate what I had. Still---I slid a potato through some syrup---my gut was rolling. Eating anything sounded like a chore. My stomach, empty, protested at the thought of even a cracker. That dream must have shaken me more than I thought.

My throat tightened, and I shoved my plate away. There was no reason I should have felt guilty about it. About how bad he looked, how worried he looked. He might be my father, but he would always put himself first. Why should I act any different? Why were we expected to like the gods who put us in danger?

"Joy?" Megan's cold hand landed on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" I folded my arms and laid my head on them.

"Would you like to lie down for a while?" Kaldur asked. "There are no missions scheduled, so it should be safe for you to do so." His hand pressed against my back. It was firm, more urgent and worried than Megan's. If he were older, I might've called it parental. Because that's what he was, wasn't he? A parent to the others here? That role older campers have to take on. Some complained about it, but we didn't get a choice.

And add being team leader to it? It made Dinah's worry all the more justified.

"I'll take her to her room. Perhaps place her food somewhere Wally cannot reach it?" The hand moved under my arm, and he helped me off the stool. I didn't need it. But then the room swam, I stumbled, and I figured it wouldn't hurt to have help.

Normal.

Right. Normal people could accept help.

"Why would you lie to Megan?"

"I was going to eat, but---" I waved my hand towards him. "My powers make me tired sometimes, and sometimes if I'm too tired, eating doesn't feel like a good idea." A loud yawn kept him from responding.

"It cannot be good for your health."

"Which one of us is the medic?"

He pressed his lips together. "Still..."

"I'll eat twice as much at lunch, okay? Because a nap actually sounds really good right now." I slipped out of his grip and into the safety of my room. Once the door shut, I rubbed at my eyes under the visor. Wanting to sleep wasn't a lie. The lack of it would catch up soon. Demigod dreams always seemed to be worse the longer they were put off.

But I didn't want another one.

Selfish.

Was it? Weight pressed on my shoulders, like the gaze of a god. Was it selfish? An itch crawled over my skin, up my leg and side, then along my arms.

The door hissed open--Light spilled in. I didn't move---It shut behind her.

"Do you want to explain to me why you overdosed on two different types of drugs?" Dinah said.

I massaged my knuckles. "You're...making it sound like I did crack and meth." Soft tones. Soft, quiet, careful. People react better to those. Less likely to yell. How much would her screaming at me hurt? It'd be more than enough to burst my eardrums. It would be a death sentence. Deaf demigods die. So did blind ones. Slow ones. Unathletic ones. Injured ones. Imperfect ones.

"Answer the question."

"Leave it alone, Dinah."

"It could have damaged your liver."

"It didn't, so leave it alone." The last word came out as a growl. Leave me alone. Leave. I didn't want her there. She pressed her hands on my shoulders.

"What's wrong?" I turned my face away. "Kid."

"They're calling me Joy now."

She sighed and sat beside me. "You know, you don't have to do this. We can go back to the Watchtower. No one will judge you. Bats will be happier knowing you can't corrupt Robin. Not that he's ever happy. But you know how he is." A smile spread across her face, a clear attempt at getting me to mimic it.

"It's not because of this, Dinah."

"Then what is is because of? Kid, you could've died. Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to mix medicines like that? Just--Tell me so I can help you."

I swallowed. My mouth was too dry. "There's reasons I went out on the street in the first place, and with-- Those things are going to catch up with me eventually." If Orin ever gets that message, if it gets sent again or if I didn't delete it completely the first time, he'd be able to put the pieces together. He'd tell Dad, and I'd have to go back. I didn't want to go back.

She leaned to look in my eyes. "Is there anything I should be worried about?"

"There's no point in worrying about something you can't change."  I looked at the plain wall. And that was the kicker. No matter what she might've though, nothing she could do would change anything. Nothing I did mattered, so how could a mortal? How could someone less connected to the gods have more control over my fate than myself?

"Well, it seems like you're worrying about it quite a bit."

"More about when it'll happen than anything else. They--- They won't kill me. I know that. I'm..." I stared at my hands. Too useful, went unsaid.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter

Also maybe check out Under the Water, I update that on fridays

See yah