25th March

Music speaks to the soul. Whenever life gets tough, surrendering unto music can actually soothes you. It calms your mind. Plenty of times, music can make you forget about your pain. They say, time heals. But time doesn't heal shit. You just learn how to cope with it over time. Music is one of the coping mechanisms.

She concentrated on the lyrics of the song that played on the music app. She was amazed at the accuracy. The song resonated in a unique way with her current situation. Older by Sasha Alex Sloan. Discovering new songs and artists had always been Gyan's thing. He liked exploring Spotify in all his spare time, and whenever a song would match his taste, he'd share it with her.

This song was also shared by him. They still weren't talking explicitly, but only exchanging a few text messages every day. The current age of digitalization wouldn't let you go into seclusion, even if you badly want to.

Last night after her parents vanished into their room, she hadn't seen them till now. Not that she went out of her room the whole day. Dona came twice to give her breakfast and lunch and her physiotherapy session happened in her room alone.

She was able to walk for five minutes straight without any support and according to her physiotherapist that was a huge improvement. She still preferred walking with the help of the stick. But she couldn't really walk around with a stick forever. So, she obliged all his instructions as he walked her to and fro around the room.

She had no idea what happened last night. Because after Jeet and Abhimanyu went to have a 'talk', they didn't emerge even past the dinner time. Shreya forced her to eat before sending her to her room for rest. That precisely summed up, she had not faced anyone except Dona and her therapist.

Her eyes swept over to her drawing pad. She wasn't even getting the pull to pick it up and work on a new design. Suddenly, it clicked. Jeet was talking about something called expressive art. She grabbed her phone and opened the browser and searched for it.

The never-ending search results popped up in an instant.

She scrolled down and clicked on a link. The page opened and the very first line read, "Expressive arts therapy is an integrative, multimodal approach that utilizes a variety of methods including writing, music, visual arts, drama, and dance to help people achieve personal growth. The expressive therapies are based on the assumption that people can heal through the various forms of creative expression." According to an American therapist, Cathy Malchiodi, expressive arts therapy has four general functions—self-regulation, co-regulation, exploration, and restoration. One can heal body and mind through expressive arts.

As a fashion student she had no idea about the psychological aspects of life, but she always loved playing with colors and designs. That was why she opted for the fashion industry. Another reason for her to go for fashion designing was the clash she had with her mother during the time she was about to enroll in college. Priyasha wanted her to take admission in a technical course since her own background was technical. Both her parents had degrees in technology fields. So naturally, they wanted their children to have degrees along the line. Her brothers went for business studies because, according to her father, it was necessary for their business development and expansion. Abhiraj never forced her daughter into anything, it could be because he was partial toward her or maybe because she was a girl.

Ritu always felt sorry for her dadabhai, Abhimanyu, as he never really crossed their parents' decisions; and their parents were really happy about that. However, after unearthing the fact of him suffering from a personality disorder, they learned the problem lying underneath. It was not because he was behaving like the good son that he was, it was because he had difficulty in expressing his emotions: be it delight or displeasure. It had always been Gyan's department to defy their parents, and she would be straight away lying if she said she did not partake in Gyan's misdoings. Gyan although associated with boys above his age, he never neglected his sister. Thus, as her twin brother, his influence on her life did not go renounced. They would share their misdeeds or cover up the same for each other.

So, when their father, Abhiraj, disagreed with Gyan on pursuing a music career, she knew she needed to stay put or her dreams would go in vain like her brother. As a kid she had always been interested in anything related to art. She liked to draw and paint all the well. As she grew up, her interest in the glamour world only grew by time. It was she, who started choosing clothes for her family and relatives during any festivities, and her family let her. Of course, because they loved her and thought it was alright to let her choose. She was just a kid back then. Even so, her taste in fashion and clothing was aligned with current trends. Abhiraj adored her for he loved his daughter beyond measure. But it was Priyasha, with whom she used to have clashes often. It wasn't like she disliked her choices, but because she sensed Ritu was walking on a lane opposite to the one, she'd have liked her to walk on.

Priyasha was never into fashion and brands. She used to have a very basic but classy style to her. She always liked to keep in minimal. But when she realized, Ritu had been developing an entirely different qualities that had nothing to do with her, she became cautious. They'd had several discussions on what career she should opt for, before finally Ritu had had enough.

"No, Maa! You listen!" she raised her voice slightly, unable to hold the frustration any longer. "I am not going to pursue a technical career, and not even architecture. You don't understand. I do not feel the pull there!"

Priyasha's pursed lips thinned as she cast an unwavering gaze on her daughter. "I don't think so. It was your father and your brothers doing all along. They spoiled you from the beginning with shoppings and brands and what not! I will NOT allow you to get attached to the materialistic way of life!" She paused momentarily and exhaled disapprovingly when Ritu turned her head away from her, sulking. "Ritu, why don't you understand, if you get too attached to the materialism, it'll distract you from the ultimate goal of life."

"And what exactly is that? Renouncing from life's pleasures? Did YOU succeed in renouncing? From where I'm seeing, you did not! I've been learning these hypocritical things from you since long, maa! I'm tired of this now. Please, spare me now. I'm NOT like you. I'll never be like you." She shifted her pleading eyes on Priyasha and added laboriously, knowing her words might scar her mother and be the reason of her excruciation. "Let me be my own person."

Ritu studied Priyasha's face, her unreadable expression as she pronounced those words and thought, even if it was not a comfortable way of make her mother agree with her, but it'd do. It was easier that way.

It did work out in the end. Priyasha wasn't pleased, but that didn't stop Ritu from enrolling herself in fashion designing course.

As a fashion designing student, she usually took inspiration from painting, sculpture, architecture, furniture, flowers, animals or any possible object that fascinate her. The first and foremost important thing to learn about the start of any design process was the inspiration. Finding inspiration was probably the most important part of designing clothes. Ritu reveled in that idea that she was outgoing and in return, it actually helped her gather the inspiration she needed to design. All was well... until that disaster happened.

Her chain of thoughts got interrupted as a ding on her phone caught her attention. An email had arrived.

She opened the email app. It was from her college. The final year project submission date and graduation date show has been released. Ritu calculated the date, and grimaced instantly. It was going to be held on 15th April which was only three weeks from now.

How was she supposed to submit her designs and the graduation show within this small time. Additionally, she had been on leave for almost four months now. If she was really looking forward to earn a degree this year, she needed to overcome her fear of going out.

~~~

26th March

Of course, they'd go with her! How come the thought never occurred to her? Ritu frowned as she glared at the back of Neil and Irfan's heads as they maneuvered the car carefully through the campus driveway of her institute. Several faces, both familiar and unfamiliar, turned towards their car as it parked before the entrance of block D. She gruffly exhaled, then closed her eyes and her fingers wrapped around the handle of her walking stick.

Embarrassment and anxiousness gnawed their way through her veins until she forced herself and clicked opened the door at her side.

But before she could hoist herself out of the vehicle, Neil said aloud curtly, "Ritu ma'am, Irfan will be positioned outside your classroom. Roy sir has already talked with the authority and made arrangements." He took a brief pause before adding, a little warily, "You're not allowed to stray alone anywhere apart from your classroom. Irfan will accompany you everywhere."

"What?" Ritu snapped. "What do you mean he'll accompany me everywhere. I'm not a baby or a possession that needs guarding."

A frowned crossed both of Neil and Irfan's faces as Neil responded deftly, "Considering the current circumstances, we've been specially ordered to not leave you alone, even for a fraction of second. I'm sorry."

Ritu scowled and clenched her jaws. She knew what circumstances they were talking about. Since the protest happened, none of her family members were allowed to roam alone. So far, she was not bothered about the fact as she barely left Ishani. But now that she had to face the situation personally, she understood the awfulness of it.

This was an educational institute for heaven's sake. How awful she'd look with a bodyguard trailing behind her. People already talked behind her back quite extensively, and now they'd have even more to gossip about.

Ritu huffed but did not refute. Because it'd make no difference. They were only following her father's orders, for security measure's sake. Nothing that she said would make any difference.

So, she quietly opened the door and stepped out of the car with the help of her walking stick. Irfan got out as well. Neil let them know that the car would be back to pick them up within two hours before he drove off and out the campus.

As expected, People had already started passing them questionable stares.

Ritu took a deep breath then decided on visiting the faculty first who had been allotted as her project guide and instructor, Prof. Indira Nag.

"Irfan," she whispered.

"Yes, ma'am."

She sighed, and gritted her teeth. "Don't call me ma'am here! Just call me Ritusha. And we're going to visit my project guide first. I need to discuss my idea with her first. Okay?"

Irfan nodded. "Sure."

The thing with having a bodyguard trailing behind her was it was too in the eye, with his uniform on top of that. She was dying with embarrassment inside. With a hot, red face she limped towards the entrance of their building. Prof. Nag's room was of the third floor, and she had no idea how she was going to climb up there.

As they proceeded toward the stairs, Irfan asked, "Which floor do we need to reach?"

"Third," Ritu said and winced internally.

"Okay." Irfan said, then crouched down in front of her. "Climb on my back. You cannot climb the stairs in your current state," said he in a matter-of-factly tone.

"What? NO!" Ritu squeaked, horrified. Glancing around, she realized her fear wasn't an overreaction. People were indeed staring at them with renewed curiosity. Some were muttering under their breaths, some were sniggering at them, making the situation even more unnerving for her.

She clasped her fingers around the handle of her walking stick quite tightly that it started hurting. "Forget it. I'm going to the dean first. She'll arrange something on the ground floor. I'm not doing this circus here," she said in an undertone and turned around. Irfan got up and followed her.

Someone called out from the crowd, "Hey Ritz, what's with your boy? Why is he following you like a shadow? Care to share him with us?"

She shifted her eyes to the spot and noticed Debrupa, who was cackling with her group. It'd be immensely wise of her if she did not respond to her now. If she stayed quiet, they might let the matter slide. But to her dismay, Gabby piped in, "Oh no DD. You don't want to be on her rough side, do you? Don't you know who her father is?" The jab was clearly not to her aid. Rather a mockery...overtly like a dare. As if, to challenge her.

Irfan was about to step towards them, but she grabbed his hand refraining him. "Let's get out of here."

As she said so, someone whistled and a laughter broke out. "But they are bullying you. You must not overlook that."

"Leave it. It doesn't matter. I'm used to this." And indeed, she was. As the daughter of the famous businessperson, everyone in her institute knew about her, and it did not help her a single bit. If she achieved something with her own potential, they assumed it was because her father had sources. Her talents were kind of overshadowed by her father's reputation, and she was used to it. Sometimes, she did not understand whether being her father's daughter was a boon or bane?

As they left the vicinity of block D and started walking towards the block A where their dean's office was, Irfan said, "If you say I can show them their real places."

Ritu shook her head. "It's fine, Irfan. I already said so. Just...let us finish out work here and leave the campus. I have loads of work waiting for me."

Irfan nodded and did not stretch the matter.

Thankfully, dean's office was on the ground floor and Ritu did not have to climb the stairs. As the dean, Prof. Dr. Bandana Gupta, already knew about her condition, she immediately arranged for her meeting with her project guide.

The meeting of course went as she had planned. Smooth. Her vision for the fashion had always impressed the faculties, and it was no different. Even Prof. Nag admired her vision. But that was not all she needed at that moment. So, she helped her plan out the working schedule until she was almost satisfied with the fact that Ritu'd be able to participate in the graduation show which was just round the corner.

"Ritusha, you can do it. Just keep your vision wide. The inspiration is the main thing. Inspiration does not necessarily have to come from the outside, it can as well come from inside. You just need the right vision to look for it." She smiled at her before adding, "And I know you have it."