Getting attracted to someone is easier than getting attached to someone. When you're attracted to someone, you do it based on their looks, background, social status or so. In a nutshell, your attraction is often based on the ostentatiousness surrounding of the person who've bewitched you. One of them is sensual attraction. Sensual attraction mainly involves the sense of physical touch. This type of attraction often indicates the non-sexual forms of desire such as hugs, kisses, cuddles, holding hands etc.

On the other hand, when you get attached to someone, you do it depending on the emotional depth or intimacy you share with that person. When you're attached to someone, you have expectations to receive something in return. But your attachment might not always be reciprocated, and that's where the story changes. Because one-sided expectations can and will eventually destroy you.

As they say, the root of suffering is attachment.

"Shreya!" The name escaped Ritu's lips almost inaudibly before she realized her nerve is slipping and cleared her throat. How much worse could it go? Shreya might reveal it to her family. Considering the members' state of mind right now, they might not pay any heed to her and Pihu's relationship. Priyasha, her mother, might express her displeasure but Ritu knew it for sure, if she'd pursue her genuinely, she might accept it as well.

Then why was she nervous?

It was like she never wanted anyone to know. She did not want to come out to her family as a homosexual. In fact, she wasn't certain if she could actually identify herself as one. Yes, she was attracted to Pihu, but at what extent? She never felt the urge to explore and expand their attraction. Yes, she liked Pihu and she liked her back, but how far could they go if they had to stand against everyone? Was their relationship worth it? Or, were they just fooling around?

Shreya studied Pihu with an unwavering gaze until the latter felt uncomfortable and shifted her eyes on Ritu. Ritu inhaled shakily before opening her mouth, "Shreya, she- she's Pihu Ghoshal. The owner cum designer of the famous clothing line, Trippy. She's a good friend of mine. And Pihu, she's my sister-in-law, Shreya."

Shreya blinked, averted her gaze and made eye contact with Ritu. She was clearly irked by something, and Ritu wasn't sure whether it was today's revelation or that night's stupidity.

It was Pihu whose car they took while going after Gyan to save Tiyasha, her cousin. It was a mistake. It was definitely a mistake.

Pihu smiled and nodded at Shreya which went unreciprocated. Rather she said her directly, "It's time for Ritu's physiotherapy session. Besides, I'd like to have a few words with her, personally. So, could you please..." Shreya did not finish her sentence and she didn't need to.

Pihu understood the cue and looked mortified for some reason. She exchanged a brief glance with Ritu and said, "Sure. I'll call you later Ritz."

Ritu acknowledged with a single nod before Pihu shifted her eyes on Shreya and conjoined her palms. Shreya copied the gesture without saying anything. The other two watched in silence as Pihu walked out the door. Once she exited the room, Shreya's eyes whirled around and focused on Ritu.

Ritu blinked a few times as warmth crept up her cheeks and ears. She averted her gaze when Shreya broke the silence. "Do you really know what you're doing?"

"You cannot question my choice." She made a brazen effort to sound mature. "What my sexual orientation is and whom I like—that's completely my business. You've no right to interfere."

Shreya crossed her arms against her bosoms before sighing audibly. "I am not questioning your choice. Neither I'm against your decision about whom you like. Ritu," She took a small pause before continuing, "I'm not being judgmental here. I'm just trying to keep you away from committing a mistake."

"Mistake?" Ritu's eyes snapped towards Shreya. "What do you mean?"

"Don't raise your voice." Shreya cautioned her. "I am not trying to dissuade you. Look, feelings are critical, and at your age, it's easier to get confused about things related to love and relationships."

"You're talking as if you're way older than me. We're basically in the same age group Shreya."

"But still I've seen and experienced a lot more than you."

"That's because you fell for Dadabhai, an unlikely man!"

Shreya closed her eyes for a second before opening them again. "You're right Ritu. I fell for an unlikely man, and that's exactly why I don't want you to go through some similar experience that you'll regret later."

Ritu's eyebrows furrowed in dissatisfaction. "Do you regret being with Dadabhai?"

Shreya uncrossed her arms and exhaled heavily. "I don't know, Ritu. I don't know. Sometimes, I can't contain my love for him. And at other times, he makes me question the existence of love all over again. The game of push and pull is exhausting."

"But you loved him knowing his nature."

"Yes, I did. I pushed myself in the pit of fire. And that's exactly why I know how it feels when you take a risky decision you cannot escape. Listen Ritu, I'm not trying to discourage you. I'll support you for whatever situation arise in the future. But for that you need to be confident about your heart. Are you sure this is what you want? I mean, do you trust her?"

"I-" Ritu paused. Did she really trust Pihu? If things stretched far, would she really stand by her side?

Shreya shook her head slightly before continuing, "Do you believe she'll be there for you in every high and low?"

"What's there to doubt? Of-course she will!" But she wasn't so sure.

"Then where was she when you were unconscious for all those past months? I never seen her once until today."

"She's an established businesswoman. I'm sure she had some important-" But she couldn't complete her sentence as Shreya interrupted, "And you're the daughter of a renowned businessman. Anyone would be interested in having you by their side. It's an advantage. Are you understanding?"

Ritu frowned. "Are you implying she's with me because she sees me as an opportunity? But that's where you're wrong Shreya. She knows people from the industry even my parents don't. She doesn't need them."

"Understand this clearly, Ritu. I'm not victimizing her. Neither I'm guessing things for the sake of it. I'm just cautioning you. Before your family knows about this, you try to know about it first." She paused momentarily before questioning, "Okay, just be truthful. How do you know she's the one? Which was the moment that changed everything? Can you be truthful about that?" Shreya sighed when Ritu didn't respond. "I've seen the hesitation in your eyes, Ritu. I'm worried about you, and everyone else in this family. I'm worried for everyone."

Ritu stared at her sister-in-law with mouth hung open. Words wouldn't find their way up and there was a painful lump stuck in her chest. She didn't know how to answer her. Rather she didn't want to answer her. Ritu felt a pinprick sensation behind her neck before her breathing became labored. She clenched her fists and looked around frantically. She didn't know what she was looking for, but she needed something. Anything that could stop this overstimulation.

"Ritu!" Shreya cried out and crouched down before her. "Are you okay? What- what's wrong? Tell me. Is it hurting somewhere? Ritu!"

Ritu's eyes suddenly burned and she had to blink several times to prevent her blurry vision. She clutched the armrest and tried to move the wheelchair towards the bed while Shreya followed her and continued to rub on her back. "Do you want some water, Ritu? Should I call someone?"

Since it took a lot of effort to stand up these days, Ritu was practically struggling to rise up. She was panting heavily and her eyes were blinking several times making it almost impossible to look clearly. A few moments of struggle later when she was about to stand up, a monotonous voice froze her actions altogether.

"What is going on?"

Shreya whirled around and cried out immediately. "Abhimanyu! I- I think she's having another attack."

Abhimanyu walked into the room with two long strides and stopped in front of them. "Did you say something to trigger her?"

Shreya faltered for a moment. "I- we- uhm, we were having a... womanly discussion."

He said nothing else but sat down in front of Ritu and took her hands into his and held them tightly. "You're okay."

Ritu looked up and focused her eyes on her brother. All the burning issues rushed back in in an instant. He was being framed for a murder, and instead of helping him, she was having a panic attack! How awful!

"Dadabhai! I- I- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She wailed aloud and threw herself at him. He caught her firmly and said again, "You're okay. It's alright."

Abhimanyu helped her stand up and held her close for a few seconds before addressing Shreya, "Can you take her to the counsellor tomorrow?"

Shreya remained silent for a moment before agreeing, "Okay. I will."

Ritu didn't want to think anymore. Her brain would burst if she penetrated it a little more. She needed an escape from her feelings. Because she couldn't deny the fact that she was, in fact, confused. Very much so.

~~~

24th March

She couldn't answer Shreya that day. She did not have an answer. In fact, she still had not figured out what exactly she wanted. She knew she was attracted to Pihu since the first day. The way the latter carried herself every time, was mesmerizing, and Ritu admires her a lot. Pihu was a classy fashionista. Her aura was too powerful to overlook, and perhaps, that was exactly why Ritu was drawn to her.

However, since that day Shreya bombarded her with those questions, Ritu couldn't stop herself but ponder on them. Was there really something between them? More than the admiration? Yes, she liked to be kissed by her. But she had only ever kissed her. She wouldn't know how kissing someone else would feel like unless she tried. What if she was reading it all wrong since the beginning? But Pihu really cared for her. She had pampered her since the beginning of their relationship. She even gifted her several branded accessories she wanted badly. She never wanted anything in return except the reciprocation of her affection.

Almost a month passed by. But the contradiction of her thoughts never settled for a ground.

She had been avoiding Pihu. In fact, she was avoiding all sort of interaction these days. She only ever talked to the psychologist once a week, and that too, for half an hour. She was avoiding going out. Her social life had come down to non-existence. While she was in college, she used to be one of the party girls. But now, the desire to look for exuberance had escaped out the window.

Her mother was worried. Shreya was worried. Even her father one day came to her room and asked her if there was something bothering her. But Ritu was not ready to face it. She kept pushing it off.

Only two things went well in the midst of all this chaos.

One, she could now walk independently, only with the help of a walking stick. And two, the protests had stopped.

Since the day, Jai visited Ishani, there was no protests from their side. At least Ritu hadn't heard of any. The case had listed twice in the court till now, and no one told her about the outcome. It wasn't anything positive she knew it from her guts. She had no nerve to ask about it nonetheless. She knew her brother was innocent but it seemed the case was intentionally dragging him along.

All in all, she felt tired all the time. She had no desire to leave her room and spark up a conversation. Mostly it was her family who'd visit her, because she simply wouldn't leave her room. She didn't feel the need to.

Ritu placed the walking stick in front of her before dragging her right leg following its lead.

"That's right. Now slowly move your left leg," her physiotherapist instructed her as she moved forward ever so slowly.

"Very good," he said.

Priyasha was sitting close by. She clapped with a grin on her face. Ritu looked at her with a victorious smile on her face after taking a step forward.

Her physiotherapist appreciated her improvement. When he was guiding her back to the couch, a cheerful shout made her halt abruptly.

"Where are my other two angels, Priya?"